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A Final Project for Haverford College Health Studies 304 "Critical Disability Studies: Theory and Practice", Spring 2020
By Grace Toner
In my midterm website titled "My Mind @ Bryn Mawr", using Margaret Price's introduction to her book "Mad at School: Rhetorics of Mental Disability and Academic Life" as a framework, I looked at the effects of Bryn Mawr's academia and physical institution on student's mental health. With the unprecedented arrival of a global pandemic and consequently the cancellation of campus life, many things have shifted for all students, not just those struggling with mental disability. But one group as a collective is suffering the most and that would be the class of 2020. Similar to my midterm where I wanted to give academic space to a group shunned out by academia, "dropouts" as they have been called, with this final I hope to give seniors the chance to speak out and be heard in the bi-co from their separate isolations. In this final project for my Critical Disability Studies class, I discuss the mental health and overall morale of three Bryn Mawr seniors in quarantine who were willing to be interviewed for this project. In an effort to continue the through line of creativity from the first installation of this project, I also will include personal art interpretations that aim to reflect and represent what these three students are currently experiencing, and what life may look for them after classes end next week.
News Flash: A Look at COVID-19 Reporting on College Student Mental Disability
News Flash: A Look at COVID-19 Reporting on College Student Mental Disability
Currently as we've all seen from our own isolations, new COVID-19 op-ed's and reports are coming out every day, if not every hour. While still considering Price's framework of the mental stressors higher education as an institution puts on students, I wanted to include new perspectives of mental health in the COVID era. While I wasn't able to find research-level papers on student mental health as of yet, I did come up with multiple college student op-ed's on the current situation and a recent article from JAMA Psychiatry on the projected longterm effects of quarantine for anyone struggling with mental disability, and how quarantine will have longterm mentally disabling effects for everyone. You can find the article in full on the side bar, as well as a follow up article on the report speaking to how people with serious and untreated mental disabilities such as schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder are more susceptible to COVID because of their disability. To summarize and highlight the findings discussed in the piece, titled "The Mental Health Consequences of COVID-19 and Physical Distancing", Dr. Sandro Galea, et. al, conclude that the results of social distancing on all individuals, not just the already mentally disabled, will be similar to those found after major natural disasters or traumatic experiences, such as Hurricane Katrina or 9/11. To give some possible statistics, in the case of 9/11, "1 out of 10 adults in New York City showed signs of the (major depressive) disorder in the month following the 9/11 attacks.2,3 And almost 25% of New Yorkers reported increased alcohol use after the attacks.4 " (Galea, et. al). Imagine those types of numbers but projected on a global scale. The article also highlights concerns for increased domestic and child abuse cases during this quarantine. Insight to what the future of U.S. mental health holds can be found in places that have already gone through the full extensive lockdown, such as Wuhan, China. NPR reports in "Life in Lockdown: From Shock to Panic to Acceptance" that anxiety was at an all time high amongst the city's citizens, even in situations of support such as medical checkups. Agoraphobia developed for some citizens, resulting in people continuing to not leave their homes even when the lockdown was lifted in Wuhan for a period of time. In addition to heightened anxiety for the average citizen, focusing on specifically the student population and even more so the disabled student population, COVID-19 has upended any sort of semblance of normalcy and has jeopardized their futures. In the article titled "Student mental health during COVID-19", students at Mississippi State University have continued the school newspaper virtually and offer help navigating increased anxiety levels from being quarantined at home or where ever students find themselves now. Disabled students across the nation are at risk of losing important stimulus money for college because of political actions taken during this crisis, as reported by The Hill in the article to the top right.
Adding the Bryn Mawr Class of 2020 Perspective
Adding the Bryn Mawr Class of 2020 Perspective
For the framework of this project it's important to bring the contextualization of both current world news and Price's "Mad at School" together to determine how current students may be feeling in a time like this. Price reminds us that part of the higher education norm is to put immense pressure on students to create high-achieving, fast-producing, capitalist machines. To be considered disabled by current society is to not produce properly, whether that's in school or work or your personal life. If you aren't keeping up and beneficial to the capitalist system, then you get kicked out, and that's what has happened to many students who through no fault of their own find themselves drowning in work and falling behind, resulting in taking time off or dropping out of college all together. But now, in this current moment, we are met with a unique dilemma. In a lot of ways, classes have become more complicated due to Zoom and online communication that is never quite as direct as an in-person assignment sheets or office hours with professors. From what I've personally experienced and heard amongst my friends, since going online classes have either become a piece of cake or immensely more challenging depending on the professor and the course of action they've decided to take. I've had classes that cancelled papers all together and have been labeled as Pass/Fail automatically. But I've also had professors that decided to make up for in-person learning with additional papers and readings, plus a continuation of grading as normal. I'm not arguing for one or the other, as I truly believe there are pros and cons to both. However, what becomes the disabling factor for a student's own personal journey in the age of Zoom University is their mental health and ability to produce in quarantine, because even when the world has been put on pause, student's are a part of the population that is still expected to be productive as normal. Is the environment they're in conducive to learning? Are they motivated by less human interaction, or feel too distant from the subject and the school to continue caring? Has the class and curriculum made a smooth transition to being taught online? The Class of 2020 is still navigating these questions plus more in the final weeks until their should-be graduation, which would have been an end of one era and the beginning of their professional careers. I asked three of them plus an underclassman how they're holding up and surviving this traumatic time (and no, traumatic is not too dramatic of a word to describe this quarantine. This is an upsetting time for everyone, it's ok to call it what it is). Some of the following testimonials are accompanied by art I made to visually interpret what they had to say:
"It's hard to be alone all the time and I feel really disconnected from support. When I'm with my friends they know when I'm having a hard time and will reach out. Now it's much harder to ask for help. Trying to figure out what to do with my time is really draining and sometimes all I have the energy to do is sleep. I feel like I have no way to keep myself accountable either and I feel guilty and ashamed when I can't get my work done. I also struggle with disordered eating and getting meals with people helped me make sure I was eating enough. Now that I can't eat with friends it's much easier to fall back into bad habits" - Cassandra Silva (currently isolated in Bryn Mawr dorms)
"I feel like I am definitely more sad just because I thrive on being able to have alone time with myself and to have my own space and I don't have that at home. So I have a habit of just being anywhere in the house where my family isn't because we're basically on top of each other all day every day. And also the fact that my parents have been so strict with me in the past I prefer to just be wherever they are not in the house to avoid conflict and to get as much space as I can when I can. It's also depressing only seeing buildings and mostly dead trees outside because if the neighborhood I live in. I can take a walk but I don't necessarily find it pretty and the air isn't fresh so it forces me to just stay inside even more. I will say I have been drawing more for myself which is nice and I am dying to paint more for myself but I have limited supplies at the moment." - Delilah Buitrago (currently isolated at home in the Bronx, NYC)
"Something that I've been struggling with is getting into my head when spending too much time isolating. I've been feeling pretty pent up at home and it's hard to practice the things I normally try to do that boost my mood like spending time with friends, exercising, or eating foods that I like when the ability to go out for groceries and restaurants is limited with money. I feel like I'm shy to open up to people so they can really get to know me and it's harder to build my relationships when we are all so far away from one another. At the same time, being home has relieved a lot of my "future planning" stress that I associate with school." - Anonymous Underclassman
"Ok so for me it’s been complicated. Having a community is a large part of mental, physical and emotional health. I rely on social systems, settings, and everyday interactions for things like connection and gratification. In isolation that has been for many terminated unless one has created a network of virtual systems to supplement these interactions. I have support but I find that I do not exist comfortably over the phone. Calls, FaceTime, Zooms make me personally feel more isolated and disconnected rather than less. That being said my mental health is good. What phases me most is not not having a graduation but the instability of the pandemic and post pandemic. The drop off point being March rather than May was startling and I did not prepare to stay in Philly longer and I did not prepare to find a job during a financial crisis. I fear that this will be hard for everyone but now I am unsure and that causes me to stress. For me stress is something that I have yet to process properly. I run from things but because of the confinement this is difficult. I wanted to land on my feet as much as the next but feel this goal slipping. I was preparing to undergo an important surgery that now that seems out of reach and probably not possible for at least the next year or two (due to Watson.) This has effected my personal mental health as well as made me question a lot of my decisions. Is this what I want, etc. (kinda question to everything)? Being a senior makes you ask that question. Because it feels like a new start with unlimited yet limited horizons. The pandemic does not allow for these questions to be spoken. Additionally there is a cosmic sadness that lingers about the state of the world and the people that I love. Will they be safe and healthy? Will they find jobs? Will they have a place to live and the liberty to live how they imagined? It’s overwhelming to then also have five classes and a half classes to complete (my credit transfer in Spain was no bueno)." - Toni Aguilar Cole (currently isolated in apartment in Philadelphia, selected as a Watson Fellow for Class of 2020)
"Ok so for me it’s been complicated. Having a community is a large part of mental, physical and emotional health. I rely on social systems, settings, and everyday interactions for things like connection and gratification. In isolation that has been for many terminated unless one has created a network of virtual systems to supplement these interactions. I have support but I find that I do not exist comfortably over the phone. Calls, FaceTime, Zooms make me personally feel more isolated and disconnected rather than less. That being said my mental health is good. What phases me most is not not having a graduation but the instability of the pandemic and post pandemic. The drop off point being March rather than May was startling and I did not prepare to stay in Philly longer and I did not prepare to find a job during a financial crisis. I fear that this will be hard for everyone but now I am unsure and that causes me to stress. For me stress is something that I have yet to process properly. I run from things but because of the confinement this is difficult. I wanted to land on my feet as much as the next but feel this goal slipping. I was preparing to undergo an important surgery that now that seems out of reach and probably not possible for at least the next year or two (due to Watson.) This has effected my personal mental health as well as made me question a lot of my decisions. Is this what I want, etc. (kinda question to everything)? Being a senior makes you ask that question. Because it feels like a new start with unlimited yet limited horizons. The pandemic does not allow for these questions to be spoken. Additionally there is a cosmic sadness that lingers about the state of the world and the people that I love. Will they be safe and healthy? Will they find jobs? Will they have a place to live and the liberty to live how they imagined? It’s overwhelming to then also have five classes and a half classes to complete (my credit transfer in Spain was no bueno)." - Toni Aguilar Cole (currently isolated in apartment in Philadelphia, selected as a Watson Fellow for Class of 2020)
Looking Ahead
Looking Ahead
So what will become of the Class of 2020? Hopefully whatever they dreamt would happen after graduation, but with a delay in plans. Delilah has plans to apply to graduate school in the spring for art therapy, Cassandra is looking for work in Philly, and Toni was awarded a Watson Scholarship to travel the world for a year studying different female boxing traditions. However, because of quarantine obviously, Watson has given all of it's fellows two years to start their projects whenever they feel ready or can.Attempts to make up for what has been lost in terms of graduation are taking place nationwide, some notable ones including the YouTube 2020 Commencement Event featuring both the Obama's and other notable guests listed below. Our sister school Wellesley preemptively had their graduation right before quarantine, making up for what they already knew would be lost. The New York Times featured a photo essay of the event below, giving a glimpse to what a college with similar traditions to Bryn Mawr could have done. In terms of mental health and disability, there is too much uncertainty to know for sure, but what we know as of now is their is definitely a traumatic impact on everyone's mental health, however the severity of that impact depends on person to person and their levels of privilege in life. I know the class of 2020 and the rest of us will come out strong in the end, even if it takes years to recover. But for now, while we're in the midst of COVID-19 and the messiness of this nation, I want to remind you that it's ok to not be ok.
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