Chapter 13 - Sweet Torment 

Ever since He Bing figured out his feelings, he couldn't act natural around Liao Yucheng anymore. The slightest touch made him nervous, he'd blush constantly, grin like an idiot one moment and then look depressed the next. Liao Yucheng noticed all of it.

Liao Yucheng didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He Bing was a grown man in his late twenties and still couldn't hide his feelings to save his life. His brain just didn't work that way. Sure, this kind of honest straightforwardness was endearing, but seriously—didn't he ever piss off coworkers or bosses acting like this?

Even though He Bing's feelings were painfully obvious, he himself seemed completely oblivious, so Liao Yucheng had to keep pretending he didn't notice either. While Liao Yucheng felt pleased about it, he was also getting impatient. He'd finally gotten the guy to fall for him, but watching him suffer in silence was quite hard to take. If he was suffering this much, when was he finally going to confess?

Liao Yucheng was anxious inside but didn't let it show on his face. Instead, he ramped up his flirting in their daily interactions.

One evening they were sitting on the couch watching TV when He Bing kept looking down at his fingers, frowning. Liao Yucheng asked, "What's wrong with your hand?"

He Bing said, "The skin's peeling."

Liao Yucheng grabbed his hand and pulled it close, seeing the dry skin around his nails. "Don't pick at those, you'll make it worse." He found nail clippers and carefully held He Bing's hand, trimming away the dead skin. "Your nails are getting long too. Might as well cut them while I'm at it."

He placed an old magazine on his lap and started carefully clipping each nail. Liao Yucheng kept his head lowered, expression serious and focused, looking like he was just doing a perfectly normal everyday task. But He Bing was far from calm. Liao Yucheng holding his hand made even his fingertips feel hot.

From his angle, he could see Liao Yucheng's fan-like lashes and his straight, elegant nose. The sight made his heart itch, and without realizing it, he leaned closer until their heads were almost touching.

Liao Yucheng suddenly looked up, his enlarged smiling face filling He Bing's vision. "Why are you so close to me? You're blocking my light. What if I clip your finger?"

He Bing immediately jerked back, turning his face away, not daring to look at him. "I—I was just watching. You're really good at this, way better than when I do it myself."

Liao Yucheng smiled. "Then I'll cut your nails for you from now on."

Unable to stop himself, He Bing blurted out, "Why are you so good to me?"

Liao Yucheng said it like it was obvious. "Because we're good friends."

Those hit He Bing like a punch to the gut. Liao Yucheng was about to file down the nails he'd cut, but He Bing pulled his hand back. "Don't bother. I'm going to bed." He stood and strode toward the bedroom, but feeling dejected made him careless. He was walking too fast and slammed his knee hard into the coffee table.

Pain shot through his knee and he froze. Liao Yucheng called out from behind, "Did you hurt yourself? Is it bad?"

He Bing gritted his teeth. "I'm fine."

He figured he should at least leave looking cool, but fate had other plans. He ended up limping pathetically back to the bedroom.

Left alone in the living room, Liao Yucheng thought about the scene just now and laughed so hard he collapsed on the couch.

He Bing lay in bed pretending to sleep. He felt Liao Yucheng carefully climb into bed, pull the blanket over him, turn off the light, and settle down peacefully beside him. 

As Liao Yucheng's breathing gradually become slow and steady, He Bing quietly turned to face him. His eyes, adjusted to the dark, could make out his handsome profile. He'd known Liao Yucheng for almost twenty years, but this was the first time he'd studied him with this mixture of love and resentment.

Liao Yucheng really was so good to him. Besides his own mother, no one else had ever treated him this well. But He Bing understood that all of Liao Yucheng's attentive daily care was just concern for a friend. While He Bing basked it, it also broke his heart. He had to keep reminding himself that "friend" was a boundary he couldn't cross, and Liao Yucheng's heart already belonged to someone else.

He Bing quietly watched Liao Yucheng's sleeping face and reached out to gently caress his cheek. Knowing he couldn't have him made He Bing treasure these ordinary touches even more. For the first time, He Bing consciously pulled Liao Yucheng close before falling asleep. He tucked Liao Yucheng's head against his shoulder, wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing their bodies tight together. 

No matter how much strength he used, no matter how close they were, He Bing's heart still felt empty and adrift. Because this was ultimately a secret, hopeless embrace.

Since Liao Yucheng moved into He Bing's home, He Bing's lifestyle had changed dramatically— even his colleagues couldn't help but notice. His clothes went from changing every few days to daily. When working late, he'd call someone to let them know, smiling sweetly the whole time, and after hanging up he'd linger for a moment before suddenly sighing.

Based on all these suspicious behaviors, his coworkers speculated that he must be in love again. Some gossips from his department spread it around, and eventually his ex-girlfriend heard about it.

Even though they'd broken up fighting, hearing that her ex had moved on after just two months left Qin Yaoyao feeling some type of way. She didn't want to get back together, but she was darkly curious about his new relationship, so she had a friend probe He Bing for details.

Towards the end of the workday, a female coworker on this important mission sidled up to He Bing. "He Bing, I hear you're living pretty well these days."

He Bing stared at his computer without looking up. "What do you mean well? I work overtime every day."

"Your complexion is great though, and you seem all energized. Don't tell me you're dating someone again."

This hit He Bing right at his sore spot. He answered gruffly, "No!"

"Really." The coworker looked skeptical, and just then He Bing's phone rang.

Seeing it was Liao Yucheng, He Bing happily answered. "Hello. Yeah, that's right. No, I'm working late again today. No need, you eat first. I said no need, don't come! Making another trip would be so tiring for you. Just rest at home. Wait for me to come back. Bye." He hung up all sweet and content.

The coworker's eyes went wide. "You're like this and you're telling me you're not dating anyone?"

He Bing's face immediately fell. "I'm really not."

"Then who was that on the phone? Who's waiting for you at home?"

"A friend."

"A friend? Guy or girl?"

He Bing poked at his keyboard. "Guy."

"Huh." The female colleague rubbed her chin, genuinely confused now.

After she left, He Bing suddenly smacked his head down on his keyboard, muttering miserably, "Why are we just friends?"