Student:

Done your revision?

Mr. Bean:

Uh, oh yes. I concentrated on trigonomentry.

Student:

I-I-I-I've done calculus, mainly.

Mr. Bean:

Oh! I believe they concentrated on calculus last year!

Student:

Oh! Oh dear!

[Mr. Bean snickers]

Instructor:

Quiet, ladies and gentlemen. The exam will commence in two minutes

[The student beside him places a pen on the table] (please edit this line)

Instructor:

Ladies and gentlemen, you may open the envelopes containing your papers. The exam starts... now.

Mr. Bean:

Mummy!

[Cut to the clock, many minutes have passed]

Instructor:

Two minutes, ladies and gentlemen. At the end, would those with the green calculus papers, please put them in the green box; and those who answered the white trigonometry papers, please put them in the white box. (Audience laughing at "...trigonometry papers...")

Instructor:

Stop writing, please.

Instructor:

I said, "stop writing".

[Bean faces the instructor but still writing]

Instructor:

Will you stop writing?!

[Bean's alarm clock rings, and Bean uses it as it were a hammer to stop the ringing]

'Waiter"':

Would you like to try the house wine?

[Bean is in a Restaurant and has just tried his Steak Tatare which he doesn't like. He is making an awful face]

Manager:

Everything to your satisfaction sir?

Bean:

[Grinning] Mmmm.

[Manager goes away and Bean grimmaces again]

Waiter:

Is everything all right sir?

Bean:

Oh yes

Waiter:

Are you sure?

Bean:

Mmmm, yes. [Picks up a forkful as if he is about to eat it but hesitates to put it in his mouth]

[The Waiter goes and Bean quickly disposes of the offending food]

Lifeguard:

Would you get out of there, please?

Lifeguard:

Everybody out now, please.

Mr. Bean:

Just popped out for lunch

Man in Park:

Me, too. Nothing like a quick sandwich.

Mr. Bean:

No, absolutely.

[Bean has spread butter onto his sandwich with his credit card]

Mr. Bean:

My flexible friend.

Mr. Bean "ATCHOO!"

Mr. Bean:

No! These are mine.

Mr. Bean:

Come on!

[At a magic show Bean is onstage and the magician has made his watch disappear. Drumroll.]

Mr. Bean:

I'm looking for my watch. It fell down here...

[The assistant puts Bean into a magic box]

Mr. Bean:

Wait!

[The magician closes the magic box with the square slot. Bean opens the slot, revealing his face.]

Mr. Bean:

(to the magician) Excuse me, I'm looking for my watch!

[The magician immediately shuts the slot. His assistant throws him a sword. He proves the audience that the swords are real and thrusts them at the box.]

Man on audience:

Behind you!

[Meanwhile, Mr. Bean is already outside the box and tries to find his watch. Several cuts between Bean and Irma. The magician thrusts more swords into the box]

Another man on audience:

Boo!

[Mr. Bean finds his watch behind the magician's pants, cut to table where Irma was sitting, she disappears. Mr. Bean runs out from the stage, from to the room. Crowd boos. The magician comes out from the room, but cannot find Mr. Bean, who is in the disco room.]

[Rupert and Hubert have put the clock forward to midnight while Bean is out of the room so they can escape his dull New Year's Eve Party]

Rupert and Hubert:

Ah, Happy New Year!

Mr. Bean:

Goodness me. Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself? I know! (shaking hands while singing):

Mr. Bean, Rupert, and Hubert:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot...

Mr. Bean:

Oh! (brings Teddy, then all sing Auld Lang Syne again)

Mr. Bean:

(mimicking as Teddy) Hooray, hooray!

(Rupert and Hubert yawn, say goodbye to Bean; removed partyhats but goes to another room)

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