Hellraiser (2022) Movie Review
If you're looking for a film to make you scream louder than a banshee, look no further than Hellraiser (2022). Directed by David Bruckner and written by Ben Collins, Luke Piotrowski, and David S. Goyer, this supernatural horror flick will have you jumping out of your seat faster than a cat on a hot tin roof. Ah, yes, another reboot of the Hellraiser franchise. The eleventh installment, can you believe it? And get this, it's the second adaptation of the same novella from 1986. Talk about beating a dead cenobite. But hey, if you're into chains, hooks, and demonic torture, this might just be the film for you. Ah, yes, the cast of this film reads like a who's who of up-and-coming talent.
Odessa A'zion, Jamie Clayton, Adam Faison, Drew Starkey, Brandon Flynn, Aoife Hinds, Jason Liles, Yinka Olorunnife, Selina Lo, Zachary Hing, Kit Clarke, Goran Višnjić, and Hiam Abbass all bring their A-game to the screen. It's like the Avengers, but for indie cinema. In this twisted tale, we follow a young woman's journey to recovery from addiction, only to stumble upon a mechanical puzzle box that unlocks a world of pain and pleasure. But beware, dear viewers, for the Cenobites are not your average humanoid beings - they thrive on the agony and ecstasy of their victims. Will our protagonist be able to resist their seductive call, or will she succumb to their twisted desires? Only time will tell in this spine-tingling thriller.
Ah, the infamous Hellraiser remake. It was announced back in 2007, when Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury were set to direct, with the legendary Clive Barker producing. And let's not forget the dynamic duo of Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, who were tasked with writing the script. Will it be a hellish disaster or a devilishly good time? Only time will tell. Ah, the revolving door of Hollywood! Maury and Bustillo left the project like a couple of jilted lovers, but fear not, Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier stepped in to save the day. It's like a game of musical chairs, but with directors.
And now, we eagerly await the early 2012 release, like kids waiting for Christmas morning. Will it be a present or a lump of coal? Only time will tell. Ah, Hellraiser: Revelations (2011). The film that was so bad, even the original creators wanted nothing to do with it. Farmer and Lussier were smart enough to distance themselves from this cinematic disaster in order to secure their sanity and reputation. In the year of our cinematic Lord 2018, the powers that be at Miramax Films, having witnessed the triumphant return of Michael Myers in Halloween, saw fit to greenlight new chapters in the Hellraiser saga. A prequel and a fresh installment were promised to the eager masses, who eagerly awaited the return of Pinhead and his merry band of Cenobites. Ah, yes, the green light was given to this cinematic endeavor back in the ancient times of 2019.
Bruckner, a master of the moving picture, took the helm with Collins and Piotrowski penning the script. And like a game of hot potato, the project bounced around until it landed in the capable hands of Hulu, Spyglass Media Group, and Phantom Four Films. Let's hope they didn't drop the ball, or in this case, the camera. Ah, the autumnal months of 2021 were a veritable cornucopia of cinematic activity, as cameras rolled and the creative juices flowed. From September to October, the film crew captured the magic of the moment, immortalizing it on celluloid for all to see. It was a time of excitement, of passion, of...well, filming. But oh, what a glorious time it was!
Ah, Hellraiser, the film that made me want to trade in my puzzle box for a one-way ticket to the fiery underworld. Premiering at Fantastic Fest on September 28, 2022, this cinematic nightmare was later unleashed upon the masses by Hulu on October 7. Brace yourself, dear viewer, for a descent into the depths of terror that will leave you questioning the very fabric of reality itself. Ah, Hellraiser. The franchise that just won't die. Critics have given the latest installment some tepid reviews, but hey, at least it's not as bad as some of the previous ones.
In fact, some are saying it's the best since the original. That's like saying a stale donut is the best one in the box. But hey, we'll take what we can get. The film gets points for trying something new and staying true to the creepy tone of the source material. And let's not forget Clayton's performance, which was a shining light in an otherwise murky underworld. However, the rushed characters and short runtime left some viewers feeling like they were stuck in their own personal hell.
Ah, the classic tale of a hedonistic millionaire's party and a sex worker stumbling upon a mechanical puzzle box. It's like a game of Clue, but with more kink and less Colonel Mustard. Will Joey solve the puzzle and unlock the secrets of the box? Or will Voight's mansion become a permanent escape room? Only time will tell. Ah, yes, the classic tale of Joey and the deadly box. Just when he thought he had it all figured out, the box springs a surprise on him - in the form of a sharp and unforgiving blade. It's a cautionary tale, really. Always be on your guard, even when you think you've got everything under control. In a stunning display of special effects, a portal materializes and unleashes a barrage of chains that tear poor Joey limb from limb. It's a scene that will have you on the edge of your seat, simultaneously horrified and mesmerized by the sheer brutality of it all.
In a world where roommates come and go like the tides, Riley finds herself in a cozy abode with her brother Matt, his boyfriend Colin, and their trusty companion Nora. It's like a modern-day version of "Three's Company," but with less polyester and more emotional baggage. And speaking of baggage, Riley's past as a recovering addict adds a whole new layer of complexity to this sitcom-esque living situation. Tune in to see if they can all coexist without driving each other up the wall (or to the nearest liquor store).
In a daring heist that would make Danny Ocean proud, Riley and her accomplice Trevor infiltrate an abandoned storage warehouse to liberate a mysterious puzzle box. Will their cunning plan lead to riches beyond their wildest dreams, or will they end up with nothing but a few dusty old trinkets? Only time will tell. In this cinematic masterpiece, we witness the dramatic fallout between Riley and Matt as they engage in a heated exchange that culminates in Riley storming out of the scene. Will this be the end of their relationship? Only time will tell.
Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel. In a deserted park, our heroine deftly navigates the puzzle box and narrowly escapes the sharp edge of certain doom. It's a good thing she's got brains and agility, because this park is definitely not a walk in the park. Ah, the Cenobites! A charming bunch of mutilated humanoids who just can't seem to get enough of their sacrifices. They're like the ultimate party guests, except instead of bringing a bottle of wine, they bring a thirst for blood and a penchant for torture. And let's not forget their impeccable fashion sense - those leather outfits are to die for! Speaking of which, they're not too keen on our protagonist's choice of sacrifice, so it looks like it's time to play a little game of "pick someone else to die."
Fun times! In a scene reminiscent of a horror movie, Matt stumbles upon Riley in a state of unconsciousness. As he valiantly attempts to rouse her from her slumber, he unwittingly becomes a victim himself, falling prey to the treacherous box and its sharp edges. Will our heroes survive this perilous encounter? Only time will tell. Ah, the classic pit stop for a quick wound cleaning. Our protagonist takes a detour to the nearest restroom, where he hopes to scrub away the evidence of his recent altercation. Will he emerge victorious, or will his injury leave a lasting mark on his journey? Only time will tell. Ah, the classic disappearing act! Riley's ears perk up at the sound of a blood-curdling scream, only to find that the screamer has pulled a Houdini and vanished into thin air. Now that's what I call a magic trick!
In a world where boxes have the power to make people vanish into thin air, Riley and Trevor embark on a daring quest to uncover the truth behind Matt's disappearance. Their journey leads them to Serena Menaker, a former lawyer for Voight who had stashed the box away in a mysterious warehouse. Will they be able to unravel the secrets of the box before it's too late? Find out in this thrilling tale of intrigue and suspense. In a classic case of "give and take," Menaker attempts to snatch the box from Riley's grasp, only to find himself on the receiving end of a not-so-friendly slice from the blade. As luck would have it, this little mishap leads to an unexpected rendezvous with the Cenobites. Talk about a bad day!
Ah, Riley, the curious explorer, ventures into the forsaken mansion of Voight. As he peruses through the journals left behind, he discovers the dark truth about the box - it's not just a one-trick pony. No, no, no. This little devil has multiple configurations, each requiring a poor soul to be "marked" by its blade for the Cenobites to come out and play.
It's like a twisted game of Simon Says, but instead of winning a prize, you get a one-way ticket to hell. Ah, the good old "gift" from Leviathan, the ruler of Hell. I wonder if it's a fruit basket or maybe a nice scented candle. Or perhaps it's something a bit more fiery and brimstoney. Either way, I hope the box comes with a return policy. In this spine-chilling scene, Riley is visited by the ghostly apparition of Matt, who appears to have undergone an unfortunate run-in with a peeler. The sight of his flayed flesh leaves Riley in a state of pure terror.
In a world where three amigos embark on a mission to retrieve their comrade, Trevor, Colin, and Nora make their grand entrance to whisk Riley away to safety. Will they succeed in their quest? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure, this trio means business. In this thrilling scene, Riley plays the role of a science teacher, explaining her findings to Colin. However, things take a sharp turn when the still-living but mutilated Voight, who has been hiding inside the walls like a creepy spider, decides to join the party and stabs poor Nora with the box. Looks like Voight didn't get the memo that stabbing people is generally frowned upon. Ah, the age-old tale of a group of friends escaping a mansion in a van, only to have one of them snatched up by the Cenobites. It's like a modern-day Little Red Riding Hood, except instead of a wolf, it's a group of sadomasochistic demons. Will Nora ever be rescued? Will the group regret not taking a helicopter instead of a van?
Only time will tell. Ah, the Priest, a man of many talents. Not only does he lead his flock with an iron fist, but he also enjoys a good taunt and flay session with Nora. Truly a Renaissance man. Ah, the classic "crash the van and walk back to the mansion" trope. It's like they're begging for trouble! But hey, at least they're getting some exercise in, am I right?
Ah, the classic "deal with the devil" scenario. In this case, the devil is a priest, and the currency is human lives. Riley finds himself in quite the pickle when he's offered the chance to bring his friend Matt back from the dead... but at what cost?
Two more sacrifices, please! It's like a twisted game of "Would You Rather?" with eternal damnation on the line. Will Riley take the bait, or will he resist the temptation and find another way to save his friend?
The age-old tale of stubbornness leading to a sharp demise. Riley, in a moment of defiance, finds themselves on the receiving end of a blade's unforgiving slice. Will they learn their lesson or continue to dance with danger? Only time will tell. Ah, the classic "pick your poison" scenario.
The Priest, clearly a fan of the game show "Let's Make a Deal," gives Riley an ultimatum: choose two more sacrificial lambs or become one herself. Will Riley outsmart the Priest and come out unscathed? Or will she end up as the main course in this twisted dinner party? Tune in next time for "Survivor: Cult Edition."
In a world where solving puzzles can lead to pain and pleasure, Trevor finds himself on the receiving end of a Cenobite's wrath. The Chatterer sinks its teeth into him, leaving him wounded and wondering why he ever thought playing with a Rubik's Cube was a good idea. But fear not, dear reader, for Riley steps up to the plate and solves the next configuration like a boss. With a swift stab, the Chatterer is silenced, proving once again that brains can triumph over brawn (or in this case, teeth). Ah, the Cenobite.
He thought he had it all figured out, with his chains and hooks and leather. But in the end, he was just another sacrifice on the altar of horror. Torn to pieces, like a poorly written screenplay. Maybe next time he'll think twice before messing with the forces of darkness. Or maybe he'll just stick to knitting.
Ah, the classic "keep the demons out with steel doors" move. I always say, if you're going to fight off otherworldly beings, you might as well do it in style. And what's more stylish than a good old-fashioned steel door? It's like the little black dress of demon-fighting. Plus, it's a great way to add some value to your property. Who needs a fancy security system when you've got steel doors that can withstand the forces of hell? Ah, the classic "leave your buddy to rest while secretly working for a sadistic puzzle box enthusiast" move. Trevor's got some serious explaining to do. In this thrilling tale of terror, Riley and Colin find themselves in a sticky situation as they attempt to ensnare a Cenobite known as the Asphyx. But just when they think they have the upper hand, Voight swoops in and delivers a fatal blow with the box.
Will our heroes survive this deadly game of cat and mouse? Only time will tell. In a stunning revelation, Voight confesses that he went on a quest for new thrills after completing all of his sacrificial duties. But alas, his search for pleasure led him down a twisted path, quite literally. Now he's stuck with a contraption that mercilessly twists his nerve endings, leaving him in a perpetual state of agony.
Talk about a bad case of buyer's remorse! In this riveting sequence, our protagonist deftly executes the ultimate setup and ensnares the Cenobites in a devilishly clever trap. With a boldness that would make even the most seasoned demon hunter tremble, he demands that they beseech the almighty Leviathan to release him from his "gift". Will he emerge victorious? Or will he fall prey to the very forces he sought to conquer?
Only time will tell in this spine-tingling tale. As the mighty Leviathan looms in the heavens above the opulent mansion, our protagonist Riley bravely seizes the mysterious box and deftly unlocks the imposing steel doors, unwittingly unleashing the diabolical Cenobites upon the unsuspecting inhabitants within. Oh, the horror! In a stunning turn of events, Riley becomes the ultimate hero by rescuing Colin from the clutches of torture.
How, you ask?
By taking matters into her own hands and giving Trevor a taste of his own medicine... with a sharp object. But wait, there's more! In a bold move, Riley decides to choose Trevor as the new final sacrifice. Talk about a power move. In "Trevor's Trip to the Underworld," our protagonist finds himself in a bit of a pickle as he is unceremoniously disfigured and taken on a one-way journey to the fiery depths below. Will he be able to negotiate with the devil himself and make it back to the land of the living? Or will he be forever doomed to suffer in the eternal flames? Watch and find out!
The classic theological conundrum of reward exchangeability. The Priest, in his infinite wisdom, informs Voight that while his reward may be non-refundable, it is indeed exchangeable for a different reward. One can only imagine the possibilities - perhaps a lifetime supply of holy water or a VIP pass to the pearly gates lounge.
The possibilities are endless, my dear cinephiles. In a world where power is the ultimate currency, our protagonist is faced with a tempting offer from a mysterious figure. With a sly grin and a nod of acceptance, he takes the plunge into a world of intrigue and danger. Will he regret his decision, or will he rise to the top of the power pyramid? Only time will tell. Ah, the classic tale of release and re-impale. Voight, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, is freed from his contraption and given a new lease on life. But alas, fate has other plans for our hero as Leviathan swoops in with a large chain and lifts him away to a fate unknown. It's a tragic turn of events, but such is the unpredictable nature of life.
Ah, the Cenobites. They're like the gift that keeps on giving...literally. After some sacrifices, they offer to bring back Matt from the dead. I mean, talk about customer service. Who needs a refund when you can have your loved one resurrected by a group of demonic beings? It's like the ultimate loyalty program. In a stunning display of defiance, Riley rejects the notion of receiving any gift, knowing all too well that they always come with a twisted catch. Instead, she boldly declares that she will accept the ultimate gift of Matt's passing. A true rebel with a cause, Riley stands firm in her convictions and refuses to be swayed by the trappings of material possessions.
The Cenobites, always with their unique way of framing things. In this case, they're telling our protagonist that by embracing her guilt and loss, she's essentially chosen the gift of "lament". It's like choosing the salad at a steakhouse - not the most obvious choice, but it's got its own unique flavor. Ah, the classic case of a box that just can't make up its mind.
One minute it's a puzzle, the next it's a portal to a world of pain and pleasure. And let's not forget about those Cenobites - talk about a disappearing act! It's like they were never even there.
But hey, that's just another day in the life of a mysterious cube with a penchant for chaos. As the two lovebirds exit the grandiose mansion, Colin turns to Riley with a look of uncertainty and poses the age-old question: did she make the right choice? The tension in the air is palpable as Riley remains as silent as a mime in a library. Will she ever break her vow of silence and reveal the truth? Only time will tell, my dear cinephiles.
The joys of body modification!
Voight's metamorphosis in Leviathan is a true sight to behold. It's like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly, if the butterfly was a terrifying Cenobite with a penchant for pain and pleasure. Truly, a transformation that would make Kafka proud.
Ah, Hellraiser, a classic tale of love, loss, and the pursuit of pleasure through pain. And what a cast we have for the upcoming 2022 rendition! These actors are sure to bring the pain...I mean, the passion...to their roles.
Get ready for some serious pinhead action with this lineup: - Jamie Clayton as Pinhead - Odessa A'zion as Riley - Brendan Sexton III as The Auditor - Drew Starkey as David - Adam Faison as Peter - Roxanne McKee as Heather - Hayley McFarland as Kate - Jack Derges as Jophiel - Randy Wayne as Detective David Carter I can already feel the hooks digging into my skin just thinking about it. Can't wait!
In "Riley's Redemption: The Tale of a Troubled Teen," Odessa A'zion delivers a performance that's so raw and real, you'll feel like you need a 12-step program just to recover from watching it. As Riley McKendry, A'zion portrays a recovering drug addict with a depth and complexity that would make even the most seasoned thespians green with envy. It's a performance that will leave you both shaken and stirred, like a martini made by a bartender who's had one too many.
In this unholy reboot of "Hellraiser," Jamie Clayton delivers a divine performance as the Priest, the fearless leader of the Cenobites. With a commanding presence and a devilishly charming smile, Clayton brings a fresh twist to the iconic horror franchise. You'll be praying for mercy as she leads you down the path to eternal damnation. Amen.
Ah, yes, Colin, the apple of Matt's eye. Played with such finesse by Adam Faison, he brings a certain je ne sais quoi to the role of the boyfriend. Will their love withstand the trials and tribulations of the plot? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure, Faison's performance will leave you rooting for this couple until the very end.
Ah, yes, Drew Starkey as Trevor, the charming beau who crossed paths with Riley in a twelve-step program. It's like a modern-day love story, but with a twist. Will their shared struggles bring them closer together, or will their past demons come back to haunt them? Tune in to find out!
Ah, yes, Brandon Flynn as Matt McKendry, the estranged brother of Riley. A performance so captivating, it's like watching a family reunion gone wrong. The tension between these siblings is palpable, like a thick fog rolling in over a graveyard. But Flynn's portrayal of Matt is not just angst and bitterness, there's a vulnerability there too, like a wounded animal lashing out. It's a performance that will leave you on the edge of your seat, wondering if these two will ever be able to reconcile.
Ah, yes, Aoife Hinds as Nora, the third wheel in the thrilling roommate dynamic of Matt and Colin. Will she bring harmony to their living situation or will she be the catalyst for their inevitable downfall? Only time will tell.
Ah, the Chatterer, a Cenobite with a name that sounds like a villain from a children's cartoon. But don't let that fool you, this guy means business. Played by the talented Jason Liles, the Chatterer is a relentless pursuer of our protagonists Riley, Trevor, and Colin. Will they be able to escape his clutches? Only time will tell, my dear readers. But one thing's for sure, if you hear the sound of chattering teeth in the distance, it's time to run for your life.
Ah, the Weeper! A Cenobite who bleeds from her eyes. I must say, this is quite the unique character. I mean, who needs a tissue when you have a Cenobite around, am I right? Yinka Olorunnife truly brings the tears to this role. It's like she's crying blood, but in a totally cool and terrifying way. The Weeper may not be the most glamorous Cenobite, but she certainly knows how to make an impression.
Ah, Selina Lo as the Gasp, a Cenobite whose very existence is a breathless wonder. Her deformity is not just a hindrance to her breathing, but a testament to the twisted beauty of the Hellraiser universe. With each gasp, she reminds us that pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, and that the Cenobites are the ultimate arbiters of this dark duality. So take a deep breath, my friends, and prepare to be mesmerized by the Gasp's haunting presence.
In this riveting performance, Zachary Hing embodies the Asphyx with all the gusto of a Cenobite on a mission. With a presence that's both haunting and captivating, Hing delivers a performance that will leave you gasping for air - just like his character's unfortunate victims. Don't miss this electrifying portrayal of a Cenobite with a deadly twist!
Ah, Kit Clarke delivers a captivating performance as Joey Coscuna, a sex worker who unfortunately falls prey to the clutches of the notorious Voight. It's a role that demands both vulnerability and strength, and Clarke delivers in spades. Bravo!
Ah, Goran Višnjić as Roland Voight, the hedonistic millionaire and businessman who's got a real knack for serving up some serious Cenobite and Leviathan realness. You won't find this guy sipping on a boring old martini - he's all about the pleasures of the flesh and the horrors of the underworld. Ah, yes, the classic transformation from mere mortal to heavenly Cenobite. It's like watching a caterpillar emerge from its cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, except with more hooks and chains. Truly a sight to behold.
Hiam Abbass delivers a performance as Serena Menaker that's so good, even John Voight would hire her as his real-life lawyer. With a commanding presence and a sharp wit, Abbass brings Menaker to life in a way that makes you forget you're watching a movie and not a real courtroom drama. She's the kind of lawyer who could convince a jury that the sky is green and the grass is blue, and you'd believe her.
In this spine-tingling horror flick, Gorica Regodić delivers a haunting performance as the Mother, a Cenobite that will leave you with goosebumps. With her bone-chilling stare and eerie presence, Regodić brings a new level of terror to the screen. Don't miss this hair-raising performance that will have you sleeping with the lights on.
Vukašin Jovanović as the Masque, a Cenobite. A performance so hauntingly beautiful, it'll make you want to tear your own face off just to see it again. This is the kind of acting that makes you question your own existence and the meaning of life. Bravo, Vukašin, bravo.
The sweet sound of chains rattling and flesh tearing. Clive Barker, the master of horror, has announced that he will be penning the script for a remake of the original Hellraiser film. Dimension Films better brace themselves for a bloody good time. Ah, October 2007. The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, and two young filmmakers caught the eye of Hollywood. Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo were the talk of the town, with everyone clamoring for them to direct their next big project. It was a time of excitement and anticipation, a moment frozen in time like a perfectly composed shot.
The tantalizing tale of Clive Barker's infernal creation continues to unfold. As of January 2008, the project - now bearing the ominous moniker of Clive Barker Presents: Hellraiser - had been unceremoniously delayed to an unspecified date in 2009. The studio, it seems, was less than thrilled with the script concocted by Maury and Bustillo.
Will the forces of darkness ever be unleashed upon the silver screen?
February 2008. The air was crisp, the birds were chirping, and Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton were tapped for a page-one rewrite. It was a time of great excitement, as production was gearing up to begin that spring. Who knew what cinematic magic would be conjured up by these two scribes? The possibilities were endless, like a blank page waiting to be filled with the most thrilling of tales. Ah, June 2008.
The month when the directing duo decided to ditch their current project like a bad habit and move on to greener pastures. Or should I say, bloodier pastures, as they chose to focus on the horror flick Halloween II instead. Who needs one project when you can have two, am I right? Ah, the crisp autumn air of October, a time when the leaves change color and French directors set their sights on new projects.
Pascal Laugier was no exception, ready to take the cinematic world by storm with his latest endeavor. Ah, the mysterious co-writer, shrouded in secrecy like a ninja in the night. Laugier tantalizingly teased Dread Central back in March of '09 with this juicy tidbit, leaving us all on the edge of our seats. Who could this elusive wordsmith be? The mind races with possibilities. Ah, the classic tale of artistic integrity versus commercial appeal. Laugier wanted to make a film that would make you ponder the meaning of life, while the producers just wanted to make a quick buck off of hormonal teenagers. Needless to say, Laugier packed his bags and left faster than you can say "box office flop."
It was 2010, the year of endless pitches! Christian E. Christiansen, Cory Goodman, and the dynamic writing duo Josh Stolberg and Peter Goldfinger all brought their A-game to the table. It was a veritable pitching frenzy! Ah, October 2010.
The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, and Hollywood was abuzz with rumors of potential directors and leading ladies. Christiansen was reportedly in the running for the coveted director's chair, while the lovely Amber Heard was being considered for the lead role. Who would ultimately land these coveted positions?
In the fiery depths of Hollywood, news has emerged that Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer are set to resurrect the Hellraiser franchise with their devilishly talented directing and writing skills. Brace yourselves for a hellacious ride, folks! Ah, yes, a refreshing departure from the typical Hollywood remake. Lussier and Farmer opted to explore the intricacies of the puzzle box, rather than simply rehashing Barker's original tale.
It's a bold move, one that shows a deep respect for the source material. Who needs a tired retelling when you can delve into the very essence of the puzzle box itself? Bravo, gentlemen. Ah, the fickle nature of Hollywood. In 2011, Farmer and Lussier were given the ol' heave-ho from the project. Looks like they won't be getting their star on the Walk of Fame anytime soon.
Ah, the sweet sounds of chains rattling and hooks scraping against flesh can only mean one thing: Pinhead is back, baby! Director and writer Clive Barker has announced his return to the franchise, and with Doug Bradley reprising his role as the iconic Pinhead, we can expect a hellishly good time.
Get ready to be hooked! Ah, the ol' "very loose" remake. It's like saying you're going to make a salad, but instead of lettuce, you're using pizza. And just like that, Clive Barker has us all wondering if he'll be the one to toss this cinematic pizza-salad hybrid or if he'll leave it to someone else. The suspense is killing us! Ah, March 2017, a time when the world was simpler and Barker revealed that the script for this film had been delivered to Dimension years ago. It's like a mystery wrapped in an enigma, delivered in a package labeled "what the heck is going on?" Truly, the plot thickens like a bowl of oatmeal left out overnight. And just like that, the first movie disappeared into the abyss of forgotten films, never to be seen or heard from again...until rumors of a sequel started swirling like a tornado in a trailer park. Ah, the horror genre, where sequels are as inevitable as death and taxes.
Miramax Films has confirmed that they are considering unleashing new installments of the Hellraiser franchise upon us unsuspecting mortals. Pinhead, the Cenobites, and their twisted world of pleasure and pain may soon be back to haunt our dreams once again. Are you ready to open the puzzle box and face your fears? Ah, the creative minds of Lussier and Farmer were churning like a butter churn on a hot summer day while working on this project. One idea they cooked up was a prequel featuring the talented William Fichtner as Pinhead. But wait, there's more! They also tossed around the notion of having Pinhead portrayed by a woman. Now that's what I call gender-bending horror!
Ah, yes, the classic tale of a group of people who stumble upon a mysterious puzzle box that unleashes a world of pain and pleasure. And just when you thought it was safe to solve puzzles again, Gary Barber drops the bomb that a new Hellraiser remake is in the works. But fear not, my dear cinephiles, for David S. Goyer is here to write and co-produce this twisted tale.
Let's hope he can bring the same level of darkness and intrigue that he brought to Batman Begins. Ah, the sweet smell of Hollywood remakes! In the spring of 2020, word on the street was that David Bruckner had been tapped to direct a new version of a classic film. And who better to pen the script than the dynamic duo of Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski, who had previously teamed up with Bruckner on The Night House (2020)? Of course, it wouldn't be a Hollywood production without the ever-present David Goyer producing. Let's hope they can bring some fresh blood to this undead project! Ah, the sweet smell of victory! In a legal battle fit for the silver screen, Barker emerged as the rightful owner of the property in the good ol' U.S. of A. Move over, Perry Mason, we've got a new legal eagle in town!
Ah, the sweet smell of casting news in the morning! In a world where the only constant is change, we can always count on Hollywood to keep us on our toes. And in June of 2021, the winds of change blew in the form of Odessa A'zion, who was cast in the lead role. Will she rise to the occasion and deliver a performance for the ages? Only time will tell, my dear cinephiles. Only time will tell. Move over, Hellraiser, because Pinhead is getting a fierce makeover! In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, it was spilled that the producers of the upcoming film auditioned none other than drag superstar Gottmik for the iconic role.
After slaying the runway on RuPaul's Drag Race with a Pinhead-inspired look, Gottmik proved to be the perfect candidate to bring some fabulous flair to the horror classic. Who knew that the Cenobites could be so chic?
Ah, the sweet sound of cameras rolling and the smell of fresh film stock in the air! Goyer has declared from the mountaintops that the production crew is knee-deep in the midst of filming, with principal photography underway in the picturesque city of Belgrade, Serbia. It's like music to my ears, if music was a symphony of lights, cameras, and action!
October 2021, a time when the leaves were changing and the air was crisp with anticipation. And what better way to celebrate the season than with a cast reveal for the latest installment of the Hellraiser franchise? Jamie Clayton takes on the iconic role of Pinhead, while Brandon Flynn, Goran Višnjić, Drew Starkey, Adam Faison, Aoife Hinds, Selina Lo, and Hiam Abbass round out the supporting cast. It's sure to be a hell of a good time. Ah, the elusive cameo.
Bruckner and his crew extended an invitation to Bradley to grace their film with his presence, but alas, the man declined. His reasons were twofold: firstly, the pesky pandemic that has plagued us all, and secondly, his desire to preserve the legacy of his iconic Pinhead performance. A wise decision, to be sure, and one that Bruckner and his team respected.
The denizens of Austin, Texas were treated to a hellish spectacle on September 28, 2022, as the world premiere of Hellraiser descended upon them like a swarm of demonic locusts. The screams of terror and delight could be heard for miles around, as cinephiles and horror aficionados alike were drawn to the dark and twisted delights of this diabolical masterpiece. Ah, Beyond Fest in Santa Monica, where the popcorn is buttered with the tears of aspiring actors and the films are so cutting-edge, they come with a warning label. On October 4, 2022, the festival-goers were treated to a screening that left them questioning reality and their own existence.
It was a night that will go down in cinematic history, or at least in the festival's Yelp reviews. Ah, yes, the latest offering from the streaming overlords at Hulu has graced our screens with its presence. A true Hulu Original, this film made its grand debut in the United States on October 7, 2022, available exclusively for streaming on their service. Let the binge-watching commence! Ah, October 5, 2022 - a day that will live in infamy! Director David Bruckner took to Twitter to announce that Spyglass and Paramount Pictures are handling international distribution for the film.
It's like the world just got a little bit brighter, a little bit more exciting, and a little bit more...distributed. Can't wait to see what this cinematic masterpiece has in store for us! Ah, the Brits got a spooky treat just in time for Halloween! The film materialized on various platforms for purchase on October 31st, 2022. Trick or treat, indeed!
If you thought Pinhead was just a character in a board game, think again! Hellraiser clawed its way to the top of the streaming charts, coming in at number three during the spooky season. Looks like audiences couldn't resist the temptation of a good old-fashioned horror flick. If you're looking for a surefire way to give yourself a good scare, look no further than Hellraiser - apparently, it's scaring the pants off viewers across all platforms. In fact, according to streaming aggregator Reelgood, it was the 8th most watched program during the week of October 14. So if you're feeling brave (or foolish), give it a watch - just don't say I didn't warn you.
Ah, Hellraiser, the film that proves that even in the afterlife, there's no escaping the horrors of reality TV. It clawed its way up to the 9th spot in viewership during the week of October 19th, proving that audiences just can't resist a good old-fashioned descent into the depths of hell. If you thought the most popular thing to watch during spooky season was a pumpkin spice latte, think again. According to JustWatch, the top dog of the streaming world for not one, but two weeks in a row was none other than the bone-chilling classic, Hellraiser. Looks like Pinhead and his crew are still raising hell after all these years.
Well, well, well, looks like Rotten Tomatoes has spoken. 65% of the critics gave a thumbs up, which is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. And the average rating is a solid 6.2 out of 10, which is like getting a B- in film school. Not too shabby, but not exactly an Oscar winner either. Ah, Hellraiser.
The franchise that's been through more ups and downs than a rollercoaster. But fear not, dear fans, for David Bruckner has finally unlocked the puzzle box and set this series back on the right track. It's a gift for those who have suffered through subpar sequels like a marathon of bad horror movies. So sit back, relax, and prepare to be both terrified and delighted. Well, well, well, it seems like Metacritic has spoken and given this film a score of 55 out of 100. That's like getting a C- on your report card - not terrible, but certainly not something to write home about. And with only 25 critics chiming in, it's safe to say that the reviews are as mixed as a bag of Skittles.
Katie Rife of Polygon, a critic with a keen eye for the macabre. She found fault with the characters and the runtime, but couldn't help but sing praises for the set design and Clayton's performance. In fact, she boldly declared that this film may just be the runner-up in the Hellraiser series, second only to the spine-tingling Hellbound: Hellraiser II. Ah, yes, the Cenobites - the fashion icons of hell's runway.
With their repulsive glamour, they glide silently, leaving a trail of terror and impeccable style in their wake. Clive Barker would be proud to see his original intention embodied so flawlessly. Ah, the classic challenge of turning red flesh and raw meat into a fashion statement. It's like trying to turn a pig's ear into a silk purse, but these artists have managed to pull it off with the grace of a ballerina and the power of a slam dunk. Bravo! Ah, yes, Mark Hanson of Slant Magazine, the man who knows retrograde enterprises like the back of his hand, has deemed this particular film "toothlessly" so. I can only imagine the disappointment he must have felt, like a dentist without a patient, as he watched this cinematic endeavor fall short of his expectations.
It’s no Hellraiser (1987), but these Cenobites have teeth.