translation by mourningmoor
“Hyung, why are you like this?”
“Huh?”
“You should say, ‘Let’s work hard.’ When you say, ‘Work hard,’ it feels like you’re leaving, hyung.”
Leaving? No, maybe I will leave.
Whether I’m here or not, the point is for you guys to work hard and aim for higher places.
“What are you talking about? Where would I go? I’m just telling you to work hard.”
I patted Jaewon’s shoulder, which was filled with worry, and laughed. Behind me, Roa’s lips twitched. He looked like he had something to say but was holding back.
Hanjoon also had a complicated expression, and Siu’s eyes were red.
“Hey, why are you all like this? It’s creepy.”
Just then, the elevator doors opened, and I hurriedly stepped out, waving to the kids.
“I’m going to skip the ramen, wash up, and go to bed. Everyone, get some good rest.”
There have been twenty-three performances so far.
After each performance, we would all gather and finish at least one cup of ramen together. It had become an unofficial after-party tradition, so everyone assumed we’d be eating cup ramen in someone’s room this time too.
But since I said I’d skip it and just go to sleep, the kids must be confused.
“Ichan-ah.”
Siu called out, but I didn’t look back and went straight into my room.
I locked the door so even Kim Chanyeong couldn’t come in, then headed straight to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
“Damn.”
Emotions without form felt like they were rising up my throat as a hot lump.
I tried to act like nothing was wrong, but the looks in the kids’ eyes made me choke up.
I should’ve listened to that devilish guy.
He was the only comrade I had, and I shouldn’t have given even a piece of myself to these kids.
If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be in this pathetic state.
Just over two years, and we’ve already given each other too much.
“Damn.”
I thought I had lost the feeling long ago, that it had disappeared.
“Ah, really, damn it!”
It replays as vividly as if it happened yesterday.
The things I lost. My parents who gave birth to me, the friends I grew up with, the trainee dorm, even the little puppy that would jump into my bed and lick my cheeks.
The beings that made me happy.
The ones I wanted to protect but couldn’t.
The ones that made me live a life full of regrets.
My loved ones.
As my thoughts dragged on, my throat tightened again.
I can’t let myself be stained with the same regret.
I can’t lose Hanjoon’s stoic yet affectionate smile, Siu’s tender yet strong friendship, or Roa and Jaewon’s warm, blind faith. I have to protect them.
I soaked my head under the cold stream of water from the shower and then moved to another spot.
* * *
South Korean National Assembly member Jung Euicheol was in a tough spot lately.
His son, Jung Yoobin, had gotten into an accident, and public opinion had turned against him.
Because of that, the funding from the SS group had decreased.
Originally, the ‘political funds’ were given in exchange for receiving the magic circle, but cutting it now felt petty.
But since he had been criticized for failing to maintain the dignity of a magic circle owner, he couldn’t say much. In fact, it was only because SS intervened that he managed to survive the HS incident.
“Damn. But still. The general election is next year…”
If they cut off the funding like this, how am I supposed to run the election?
Frustration washed over him.
He sat in his study chair and reviewed the financial documents his lawyer had sent him.
“First, I’ll borrow some money from my in-laws, and once Yoobin’s issue is resolved, SS will pull the funds…”
Just then, a cool breeze swept through the room, even though the window wasn’t open, causing the documents on his desk to flutter.
Jung Euicheol looked up at the system air conditioner on the ceiling.
“It’s supposed to be no-wind.”
He clicked his tongue and straightened the disheveled documents.
At that moment, a hand reached out from behind him and grabbed his left hand.
* * *
South Korea was in an uproar.
Three sitting National Assembly members had died in fires overnight.
Two of them were under investigation for criminal charges, and the other had barely escaped charges and received a non-indictment.
Some speculated that a dark hero who punished only the wicked had emerged. But the police and prosecutors denied it.
All three incidents were ruled as ‘spontaneous combustion,’ not arson.
Spontaneous combustion…
“Does that even make sense?”
Kang Mina, the idol editor for Music Q, said to her cameraman partner as she packed her things.
“Is spontaneous combustion even possible?”
“It happens sometimes, right? It must be possible if they’re saying it happened. Just look at H-NET’s CEO Lim Jingyu…”
“But back then, they said it could’ve been a terrorist attack.”
“Yeah, but lately, there have been too many of these incidents, and there’s no connection between the victims… Some are saying it might not be terrorism.”
In fact, it was less plausible to call it terrorism.
Who would want to terrorize the famously kind and good-natured CEO Lim Jingyu?
But this time was different.
Three of the most notorious figures in South Korean politics had died simultaneously, in the same way.
And they’re covering it up with the inexplicable term ‘spontaneous combustion’?
“Should I look into it?”
“Don’t even think about it. That’s the job of other newspapers’ social affairs departments. We’re a music magazine company, and especially, we’re in the idol department.”
“But my journalist instincts are kicking in.”
It’s probably because Ichan is involved.
Ichan suffered so much because of Jung Euicheol and his son. I was furious at how Jung Euicheol used his position and wealth to slyly evade the law.
And now he’s dead. If someone punished him, it would feel even more satisfying.
“Anyway, I fully support that dark hero.”
“There’s no such thing. A dark hero.”
The cameraman, who had finished packing, pulled Kang Mina along, telling her to stop talking and let’s go.
Kang Mina checked the time on her left wrist and smiled as if she hadn’t been serious at all, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“Let’s go. We’ll miss our flight.”
A plane to Paris was waiting for her.
She’d watch her favorite’s performance, catch a scoop, and maybe investigate the spontaneous combustion incidents while she was at it.
* * *
Following the UK, a LIT goods POP-UP store opened in Paris.
I heard from Kim Chanyeong yesterday that fans were lining up all day in front of the store, not knowing when we’d hold an event.
It was a sorry situation.
“If it’s going to be like this, shouldn’t we announce it in advance?”
“Well, it’s supposed to be a surprise event… If we announce it, it loses its meaning.”
We couldn’t adjust the timing because of other schedules, and this was really…
Plus, Europe is at its hottest right now.
We were in the middle of an interview at a café some distance from the pop-up store. While we were fixing our makeup, Kim Chanyeong delivered the news, and all the members felt down.
Then Jaewon nudged my side with his elbow.
“Hyung. Over there…”
Jaewon pointed to a supermarket across the street.
“There’s a Korean supermarket in the middle of Paris?”
By now, we didn’t even need to say much to understand each other.
We asked the reporter for a 10-minute break, and without waiting for each other, we hurried across the street to the supermarket.
We went to the ice cream section and filled the cart with Korean-brand ice creams.
“Hyungnim. I saw on NewTube that the fish-shaped ice cream is popular. The melon-flavored one too.”
“Really?”
At Roa’s words, Hanjoon scooped up the fish-shaped and melon-flavored ice creams into the cart.
Then he told me to step back.
I sighed.
“It’s fine. I’m okay, really?”
When I headed to the drink fridge, Roa scurried after me.
“Why are you telling me to step back too?”
“Uh, uh… Yeah. I’ll handle it. Hyungnim.”
Then he scooped up the drinks into the cart.
It was the same at the checkout.
Siu said he’d pay this time and handed over his card.
Jaewon quickly took a photo of the ice creams and drinks and posted it on SNS.
Siu and Jaewon’s managers took the ice creams and drinks and hurried off in a car.
We returned to the interview location, apologized to the reporter, and sat down.
The interview continued.
Luckily, since the reporter was a Korean expat, the interview was conducted in Korean, not French.
“The members seem really close. The harmony is great too. What do you think is the secret to such good chemistry?”
At the reporter’s question, the members exchanged glances. Then, as if it wasn’t such a big deal, they smiled softly.
I watched them quietly and answered.
“First, they’re kind. And they’re wise. They understand that ‘harmony’ is the most important factor in moving forward together toward the same goal.”
They might seem a bit naive, but in reality, these guys are wiser than anyone. They clearly know when to step back and when to move forward for the greater good.
“For the ship called LIT to sail properly toward its destination, the crew needs to be of one mind and move in perfect unison. In that regard, our members deserve 200 out of 100 points.”
“In what way?”
“They all look at ‘you’ instead of ‘me.’ What do you think? Are you okay? What makes you happy? They all try to adjust to each other.”
No matter how much you’re a team, competition is inevitable within the group.
Wanting to take the center more, be on camera more, have more fans—it’s only natural as humans.
But these guys didn’t have that. Well, maybe not entirely, but they managed it well.