Chapter 38 "Return to Reality"

 Several hours had passed since Subaru was chained to the wall, his one-sided talks with Petelgeuse severed, and he was left alone.



 The cold floor deprived Subaru of body heat, and as he lay there, his body did not listen as well as it should have. The reason for his dazed state was that he had lost his body heat and fever due to the loss of his physical strength.


 Subaru repeatedly breathed in labored breaths as if panting and drooled from the corners of his mouth. However, there was no one there to care for Subaru in such a state, or even to be aware of him.



???: "I must move all the remaining fingers of my left hand. The streets will be cleared with only the right hand. If it seems unmanageable, we must think about moving forward and blocking the road."



 In contrast to Subaru, who was wilting at the edge of the cave's hall, Petelgeuse was in the center of the hall, clapping his hands and giving instructions in a high voice, energetic to no end.


 Despite his appearance, which could only be described as a skeleton wearing human skin, his voice, eyes, and movements were all full of life.



 His behavior was appropriate for the word «diligent», which he had repeatedly used, and it was clear that he was doing so consciously. It was strange to hear such a person mention the role of «Sloth», but there was no one here who could laugh at that.



 The shadows in black appeared one after another under Petelgeuse, who was sitting in the center of the cave. None of them bring whispers to Petelgeuse that shake the air, and when Petelgeuse receives them, they dissolve back into darkness as shadows.


 Petelgeuse was the only one who remained motionless, and although it was impossible to tell them apart as they visited one another, if they were all different people, there would be more than twenty of them.



 A group of black-clad men appeared, growing out of the shadows, and the image of them stimulated his mind as if they were connected to some memory.



Petelgeuse: "—Aah, there you ARE. How ARE you doing, are you ready to talk?!"



 When all the black shadows were gone and they were alone again, Petelgeuse moved. He stepped toward Subaru unhesitatingly and looked down at his face, reddened by fervor, and asked,



Petelgeuse: "ARE you in pain? ARE you in pain? ARE you sad? ARE you angry? I would be willing to be kind to you if we WERE comrades, but do you want that?"



Subaru: "——"



Petelgeuse: "Aah, you ARE so boring!"



 Subaru responds to the madman who brought his face closer by silently turning away.


 Seeing this, Petelgeuse happily slapped his knee, turned away, and tilted his head.



Petelgeuse: "You're starting to show much more of a reaction like that, aren't you? Just one more step, just a little more wavering, and I'm sure I'll recognize you."



Subaru: "——"



Petelgeuse: "What do you want? What do you want me to bring? What IS it I have to do to make your heart tremble and repay your love? Good...!"



 Petelgeuse, alone and in ecstasy, exclaimed, leaving Subaru behind.


 And just as he was about to enter into his own world again, and begin to spout his delusions of delight, he was suddenly interrupted.



Petelgeuse: "Oooh?"



 Petelgeuse turned around to see a number of black shadows growing out of the ground in front of him.


 They kneeled there and looked up at Petelgeuse, maintaining the silence.


 At their appearance, Petelgeuse keeped his hips, head, and eyes tilted.



Petelgeuse: "What IS going on?"



Shadows: "—"



Petelgeuse: "Oh my, a siege on my left hand? Alone? ISN’T that wonderful! Outnumbered, wounded, but still desperately trying to hold on, ...on the contrary, how unworthy and slothful my fingers ARE! Don't tell me you let them get away?"



Shadows: "—"



Petelgeuse: "Not running away? Instead of going away to ask for help, they’ve been venturing inside? While full of wounds! To us, where they ARE not even sure of our numbers! Aah, that's it, that'sitthat'sitthat'sitthat'sitthat'sitthat'sitthat'sitthat'sitthat'sit—how loving and industrious you ARE!!”



 Clapping his hands, his face shining, Petelgeuse looked back at Subaru. Then, bending down, he locked eyes with Subaru with a childlike smile.



Petelgeuse: "You will be pleased! That you are so strongly thought of! The diligent one IS risking her life for you! Aah, my brain, my brain, my brain trembles!"



 Spitting in excitement and smearing it on Subaru's face, Petelgeuse rose to his feet, busily pacing among the kneeling shadows.



Petelgeuse: "IS the girl coming? Aah, so that IS why you're back. That is good! That IS very good! I would love to have her. I must welcome her myself!"



Shadows: "—"



Petelgeuse: "Yes! I will do so! I will mobilize all the fingers of my left hand to guide you to the entrance! If you fall down on the way, that IS fine too, if you don't fall down and can reach it, I shall greet you. Aah, aah, aaaaaah, ISN’T it, WONDERFUL!"



 Petelgeuse bursts into joy. The words, the meaning, are not conveyed.


 But Subaru wriggled and opened his mouth with a feverish expression on his face. He opened his mouth with a grunt, but was guided by an unexplainable sensation that had risen up from within.


 But,



Subaru: "——!"



 His mouth was blocked, as if by something invisible, and no sound came out.


 It was different from the feeling of having one's throat blocked by fear or any other emotion. More clearly, it was the sensation of having one's mouth blocked by physical interference.


 Subaru's eyes widened as he felt as if an invisible palm was placed over his mouth. Then, Petelgeuse looked down at Subaru and laughed.



Petelgeuse: "Well, don't be in such a hurry… you still have time."



 Petelgeuse' thirsty laugh echoed throughout the cave.


 Subaru's mouth lost its sense of closure at the sound of this unpleasant ringing in his ears, but he was unable to spin anything. He just waited patiently for the time to pass, breathing heavily, without laughing or shedding a tear.



 —Within an hour, the change came.



 The black-robed men kneeled in silence as usual. Petelgeuse walked silently among them in a zigzag pattern, and only the sound of his footsteps and Subaru's ragged breathing shook the atmosphere of the hall.



 The first to look up was the black shadow kneeling closest to the passageway leading to the hall.



 As if following the movements of the figure, the cultists turned their heads one after another. Their gazes turned uniformly in the direction of the entrance to the cave, and Petelgeuse, noticing their movement, also looked in that direction, smiling with such glee that one would have thought the edges of his mouth should have split open.



Petelgeuse: "It seems like she IS here, doesn't it?"



 The joyous mutterings were overshadowed by the roar that echoed through the air.



 The tremendous mass was shattered with bomb-like force, and the sound of destruction shook the cold air of the cave violently. The sounds of the chain that traveled over the hard ground rolled up to Subaru, and everyone there sensed that the entrance had been opened with a wild knock.



 A shadow rose up and held a cross in his hand, which he had pulled out of his pocket.


 The cave was too small for any more than a dozen people to move around in. This hall was a decent size, but it was still the size of two schoolrooms at most.


 It was not big enough for jumping around, running around, or doing anything. And that was more than a good thing for the outnumbered intruder.



 After all, her prey was...



???: "I found you!



 Even from a distance, one could see that the buzzing ball of iron had reaped the black shadows that leapt at her, knocking them against the wall and turning them into red stains.


 The iron ball, which had easily taken three lives with its first shot, was a deadly weapon that would uproot lives with a direct hit—there was no choice but to evade, but even that was difficult in the narrow cave.



 The iron ball that fell to the ground shattered the rock surface, and its thorns coated with blood and pieces of flesh were dragged along with a heavy thud. A girl stepped forward, her blue hair dyed black, her eyes still glowing as she turned into the hall to find a boy lying on the ground.


 Her lips quiver, lovingly, as she took a small breath.



???: "Thank goodness, Subaru-kun—"



 The girl called Subaru's name, and her shoulders relaxed as if in relief—Rem.



 Her appearance was so gruesome that it clearly showed that she had made it through a fierce battle.


 There was not a spot on her entire body that was not wet with blood. Her blue hair was stained black with it, and there was not a white spot left on her burnt apron dress. Her legs, peeking out from her torn and ripped skirt, were covered with numerous lacerations, and above all, her left arm was missing from the elbow onward.


 The blood dripping from her broken forehead was blocking her left eye, and a faintly smiling Rem, with the scent of blood and death all over her, had pushed her way here with wounds that were not enough to fill her body.



Petelgeuse: "Aah—how wonderful it IS!"



 And Petelgeuse applauded in the face of her gruesome state.


 He forgot the fact that his own people were murdered in front of him, and rather used it as an additional source of excitement for himself, stepping joyfully and merrily on the spot.



Petelgeuse: "A girl! A lone girl! A girl who has been hurt this much and still goes on! For what? For THIS boy! You, who go to such lengths to rescue a boy favored by the Witch, ARE also blessed with love, and live in love!"



Rem: "No need for your nonsense, Witch Cultist..."



 Petelgeuse stood to block the space between Subaru and Rem, and was so pleased that he was foaming at the edges of his mouth. Rem looked at him coldly as she exposed herself to such madness.



Rem: "You are all a bunch of miscreants who have been working in this territory without the permission of the Lord Maathers, of my Master Roswaal. In place of the Lord, who is not here, Rem will sentence you to death."



Petelgeuse: "Death in such a battered, batteredbatteredbattered state? Stop talking about things you can’t do as if you could do them. In fact, you ARE only here to bring this boy back. Stop talking about things that ARE just decoration to make you sound good."



 Crouching down, Petelgeuse grabbed Subaru by his head and made him look up.


 Petelgeuse shook Subaru's head up and down, who didn’t like it, as he gripped his hair in amusement.



Rem: "Don't ...him."



Petelgeuse: "What IS it?"



Rem: "Don't touch that man, I said!"



 Rem's body bounced as she howled in anger and flew through the air, overworking her wounded body.


 As if chasing after her, the black shadow that had been standing on the ground also rushed into the air. Two shadows leap toward Rem. The black-clad figures, wielding cross blades that melted in the darkness, pursued Rem's body, which leapt in a straight line.



Shadow: "—!"



 The swinging blade aims to skewer Rem's torso from directly below. But she swings her left arm—the one missing from the elbow—at the attack from below, turns herself around, and avoids the blade as it grazes her body in mid-air.



Rem: "Ruah!"



 She swings her right arm, and an iron ball linked to her movement shattered the face of one of the black-clad men. At the same time, her fist, clutching the hilt, strikes the other in the head, causing its skull to cave in and knock its head off.


 Alongside the death of the two corpses, Rem's body landed in the center of the hall. It was the center of the gathered zealots, and everyone thought she had made an error in judgment.



 In fact, the fanatics took up their blades and rushed toward the girl, who bent her knees on her landing.


 The number of blades that were thrust at her could not be counted with the fingers of her two hands, and it was inevitable that there would be a fatal blow if she was exposed to them. However, the girl's eyes were still wide open as she saw the blades.



Rem: "—El Huma!



 Rem's blood-curdling cry was met with a leap from the corpse that had fallen beside her. No, the blood that had overflowed from the corpse had been transformed by her mana's interference.



 The spear of fresh blood, which had been rising out of the ground, skewered the black shadow that had rushed to her unintentionally. The icy blood spear was fragile, and as soon as it pierced, it snapped at the root and lost its shape.



Rem: "Aah!"



 Rem bought enough time to blow off the heads of the zealots who had stopped dead in their tracks.


 Blood, brain plasma, and parts of their cranium scattered, and steam rose in the cold air of the cave. Each time Rem, the mass-producer of death, swung her arm, a corpse was born, and a mountain of them was built.



 The number of black-clad people in the hall was roughly fifteen. Most of them had already lost their lives during Rem's attack, and it was unlikely that the remaining number would be able to stop her in her fury.


 There was no doubt about Rem's superiority. She was wounded, her arm was missing, and yet her strength still overwhelmed that of the black-robed men.



 And yet, why is that…



Petelgeuse: "Aah, aah, aah..."



 Petelgeuse held his face and let out a hot exhale as he watched his followers fall into tyranny.


 The anxiety grew to the point where you could tell that the figure was not shaken by grief, fear, or anxiety, but from pure unadulterated arousal.



 Next to Petelgeuse, Subaru watched the rampaging Rem fight.


 The meaning of it, the reason for the spectacle, the way she was fighting, was sinking into his brain.



 Don't understand. Don't want to understand. Not trying to understand.


 But there was something he could feel. The sight of her bleeding, wounded, and still fighting, gave him an urge that welled up from within his heart.



 He had to speak about his anxiety, he had to do so.


 But if he did so, he might lose himself. He wondered what was right, what was wrong, and why he had to do what he did.



 Subaru was so afraid of this that he put his own sense of self first.



Petelgeuse: "My brain, it TREMBLES."



 Petelgeuse stood up, saying so.


 Petelgeuse, swinging the hem of his black vestments, stepped forward with ease. Unlike his followers, he was not holding anything in his hand. On the contrary, he shook his open hands and stepped forward in a relaxed manner, showing no signs of wariness.



 His body was made of nothing but skin and bones, and he pretended to have nothing to do with strength.


 Rem noticed the steps of the being, and she leapt, knocking down another black shadow. Hanging upside down from the ceiling, she glared at Petelgeuse, who was below her.



 Her bent knees built up explosive power, and the next instant her body, her arm, would smash Petelgeuse's thin body to pieces.



 But yet, why?


 Why was there such a bad feeling stirring in his heart—?



Subaru: "—m."



 A gravelly voice crawls slightly from the back of his throat.


 It was a fragment of meaningless words, carrying not the slightest of the feelings he wanted to convey. But, panting and lifting his face, he pushed his emotionless eyes wide open and,



Subaru: "... …rem."



 In a weak, whispery voice, he uttered her name for the first time in however long.



Rem: "—Ah."



 He wondered if that voice, the voice that seemed to be drowned out, reached her.



 The girl, upside down in mid-air, her face that was smeared with blood slightly softened from the emotion she felt.


 Her lips relaxed just a little, and her eyes trembled with delight as she gazed at Subaru.





 —Numerous crosses skewered her, and she fell to the ground.



※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※



 Subaru was speechless as he watched the blood spread from Rem's fallen body.



 A cry of anguish, moans of pain, and the sound of sharp objects thrusting into the flesh repeated incessantly.


 It is the sound of the cross blades piercing Rem's prone body over and over again.



 The blade, which had slipped out on its own, floated through the air, searching for an unbroken skin and thrusting again. There were as many as eight ownerless blades, which repeatedly pierced Rem's body, pulled out, and pierced another place.



Petelgeuse: "Authority of «Sloth»—Unseen Hand, it IS."



 Petelgeuse muttered as he looked down at Rem, who was gushing blood.


 He waved both hands lifted in front of his face, thrusting them out as if to show them off that he wasn’t using them.



Petelgeuse: "Reach for the unreachable. Do something with an immobile body. I am slothful, and I am diligent... Aah, my brain IS trembling at the thought of my own «Sloth»!”



 The crosses, which had been pulled out all at once, once again thrust into her body all at once.


 Rem's body, which no longer even cried out in pain, remained slumped on the ground, not even moving a muscle.



 Subaru was stunned at the end of Rem's life, and he did not speak.


 His eyes widened, he forgot to breathe, and his consciousness began to fade away as he watched the blue-haired girl's last moments sink into the darkness, facing a reality that was once again difficult to accept.


 But,



Petelgeuse: "Running away IS not allowed."



 Escape was interrupted by Petelgeuse, who grabbed her by the bangs and roughly made her look up.


 As Subaru frowned in pain and shock, Petelgeuse brought his face close to Subaru's, his wide, almost popping gray eyes dizzying, and said, "Look, look, look, look.”



Petelgeuse: "Look, look, look. The girl IS dead. She died for love. She fought through her wounds, she fought through her fears, she went forward, and she ended up with nothing."



Subaru: "Uu, aah..."



Petelgeuse: "See it. Burn it. See the results of your actions."



Subaru: "—A?"



 Petelgeuse pulled his face forward with all his might and didn’t let him look away from Rem, who was sinking in a pool of blood. He pushed Subaru, who still tried to escape, to the ground and fixed only his face in his hands, exhaling a foul-smelling breath.



Petelgeuse: "This IS the result of your actions. You did nothing, you WERE «Slothful». That IS why the girl died! You killed her."



Subaru: "...ou."



Petelgeuse: "With my arm! With my fingers! With my body! You, you, youyouyouyouyouyouu… KILLED HER!!”



 There was a sound of something being torn apart.


 In front of Subaru's eyes, Rem's body bounced loudly in his vision.



 Her left arm was torn off from her shoulder. The shredded arm was released like a piece of garbage, rolling around on the cold ground of the cave.



Petelgeuse: "Bump, bump, bash, bash."



Subaru: "...no..."



 Petelgeuse uttered a chattering sound, and each time he did, Rem's body was destroyed. Her ear was shredded, her right ankle was twisted, and the blade that stabbed her trembled and spread the wound open.



 Rem was being violated.


 Her dignity was being violated right in front of his eyes, so easily and so joyfully.



 This, this scene, the sight that he couldn’t even look away from...



Subaru: "—Petelgeeeuuuuuuse!!"



 It was enough to bring Subaru, who had been afraid to face reality, back to himself.



 He reached out his neck to bite at the throat right next to him. But the manacles prevented him from reaching it. He fell forward to the ground with a loud thud. Looking down at Subaru, Petelgeuse laughed in amusement.



Petelgeuse: "Aah, you finally called me BY name. I AM so happy!"



Subaru: “Kill, I’ll kill you… Kill, kill, I’ll kill you, absolutely. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you! Kill, kill… go to hell, let me kill you, go to hell, go to hell, go to heeeeeelllll!”



Petelgeuse: "Hating someone IS the reason I live! Aah, it IS distorted and wonderful. My fingers and I have been diligent and it IS all worth it."



Subaru: “Kill, I’ll kill you. Rem, you, kill. Kill, kill, kiiilll. Aaah! Kill! I’ll kill you! Go to hell, you! You, aaah, Fucker!”



 He spat, sprayed curses, and raged in a vindictive rage.


 The shackles around his arms creaked, and the fetters digging into his legs glistened dully as they were covered with his flowing blood.



 He didn't care if his arms were shredded, he didn’t care if his legs were shredded.


 If he could remove the fetters right here, right now, and kill the man in front of him, that would be enough. Hate, Hate, Hate him. He had to die. He does deserve to live.


 This man must surely die, right now, at this very moment.



Petelgeuse: "This place has become dirty, I think it is time to say goodbye."



 Slapping his knee, Petelgeuse suddenly exhaled, erasing the maniacal smile that had been on his face up to that point.


 He beckoned the surviving cultists to gather around him, not caring about Subaru, who’s body shook with rage.



Petelgeuse: "Let us abandon this place. It IS faster than cleaning up. The ordeal IS scheduled for the day after tomorrow, and the location will be where the Index Finger of my right hand is hiding. The rest of you will follow and carry out your role as the left hand. However, the five fingers must gather and divide the number of people equally, okay?"



Subaru: “Go to hell! I’ll kill you! Go to hell, go to hell, go to hellll!“



 With a quick command, Petelgeuse clapped his hands. And with that, his followers turned into shadows and returned to the gloomy darkness of the cave.


 Petelgeuse walked slowly through the cave, where the number of the living had been greatly reduced.



 The high sound of his shoes echoed throughout the cave, and as he moved away, Subaru threw a blood-curdling scream.



Subaru: “Wait, damn it! Kill! I’ll kill you for her! Now go to hell! Now, go to hell! Quickly, go to hell! Go to hell! Go to hell! Go to hellll!”



Petelgeuse: "Oops, I almost forgot."



 His feet stopped and Petelgeuse turned around with an easygoing demeanor.


 Subaru looked up at him from below with hatred on his face, and Petelgeuse nodded a single time.



Petelgeuse: "I really don't know about your status. So, I think I will judge it by whether or not the gospel IS brought to you."



 Holding up a finger, Petelgeuse tilted his head ninety degrees and laughed gruesomely.



Petelgeuse: "You will be left there, bound hand and foot, and all that will await you IS death. But if the gospel were to be brought to you here, you would be saved."



Subaru: "——"



Petelgeuse: "If you are saved, you are my comrade. If not, you are just passing through. How does that sound?



 Petelgeuse laughed cheerfully, as if to say, "Good idea," and turned his back to Subaru. While his back was turned away, Subaru still continued to hurl curses at him, and with his words, with his will, he hurled all his hatred at Petelgeuse to kill him.



 Petelgeuse, not feeling the effects of these actions, headed for the exit.


 And on the way, he stopped beside Rem's corpse, which had been cruelly destroyed.



Petelgeuse: "Aah, it IS so, it IS so, it IS so. You worked so hard."



 He straightened his back in front of Rem's corpse and made a cross-like gesture.



Petelgeuse: "You were a martyr to love, and you fought as hard as you could. And then, unreachable and broken, your love had nowhere to go, and your wishes drifted through the void, unfulfilled."



 The mouth that seemed to admire her changed, the words spoke of the futility of her actions as they were in vain, and then the bent Petelgeuse, a sneer on his lips, said,



Petelgeuse: "Aah, you... WERE «Slothful»."



 There were no words that could be more insulting to the existence of a girl named Rem.



Subaru: "——!!!!!!!"



 A roar, a scream, echoed through the cave.


 Anger to the point of choking, rage beyond words, and regret to the point of tears of blood made Natsuki Subaru raise his voice in an inhuman manner.



 Hearing this, Petelgeuse laughed as if in the utmost admiration.


 Ketaketa, ketaketa.



 The steps would not stop.


 It was impossible to stop its walk, let alone its breath.



 Ketaketa, ketaketa, the sound of laughter could be heard forever and ever.



 Ketaketa, ketaketa.


 Ketaketa, ketaketa




 ——Ketaketa, ketaketa, ketaketaketaketaketaketaketaketa.