*This chapter is an edited MTL
—Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
Only simmering hatred, only the will to kill, grew in the comatose darkness.
—Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
No matter how many times he muttered, how many times he spat out, and how many times he tried, the spiral of hatred never ended.
He had never hated someone, another person, or human being so much.
Ever since he had come to this world, he had hated his formless fate many times. A cruel world that knocked Subaru down to the very bottom and made him pay the price with his life no matter how many times he tried to crawl up to the top, every time he made a wrong choice—he could not count the number of times he had hated it.
But never in his life had he hated an individual this much.
Subaru: "Petelgeuse... Romaneé Conti...iii."
Every time he uttered that name, every time he recalled his image behind his eyelids, every time his eardrums ruminate on his screeching voice, every time his brain was aware of his presence, the rage raging through his body erupted into a fire.
What was that man, that madman?
Subaru had no idea who he was. What Subaru did know was that he was a maniac, a flawed human being who could not communicate with him at all, a scumbag who thought nothing of abusing others according to his own values, and an evil demon who mercilessly injured Rem, who sacrificed herself to save Subaru, and who humiliated her to the point of humiliating her life, her soul, and her death. He was an evil demon who had humiliated and tortured Subaru's life, soul, and being. All of it cried out that it was unforgivable to let that man live.
So he must kill him, he must kill him. With his own hands, he could not leave him to anyone else. By Subaru's hand, Petelgeuse must be killed.
Otherwise, how could he repay Rem for her death?
Subaru: “Kill… kill… always… I, will kill…!”
Affirming his intent to kill out loud, Subaru wriggled and clanked his manacles.
He swung his arms and legs with force, making numerous attempts to escape the fetters. The shackles were originally so tight that they had constricted his flesh. Subaru's body was unable to withstand the repeated violent movements, and the skin on his arms was torn and the flesh beneath was gouged out and bleeding.
A searing pain ran through the wound, causing his brain to boil. But each time the pain violated his nerves, he gritted his teeth at the thought of the agony Rem had experienced.
If his hand were to fall off, that would be fine. If only he could escape the fetters, he would choke Petelgeuse out, even if it was only a finger or a tooth that he could move.
He desperately wriggled, pain and blood dripping from the corner of his mouth each time he did so, and Subaru continued to lash out, seeking a place to explode with his hatred, seeking the point of his murderous intent.
—Already, more than four hours had passed since Petelgeuse left the cave without Subaru.
The light sources installed in various places on the cave walls—lagmite ore—had lost their luster and now only casted a weak glow that vaguely revealed their whereabouts.
The light, which only emitted light when they were impacted, has lost its function, and a pale blue darkness spreads endlessly in the cave.
Even Subaru himself, struggling desperately to remove his fetters and shackles, could not even see his own hand clearly in the darkness. In a sense, it was precisely because he was in the darkness, unable to clearly see the damage to his arms, that he was willing to commit self-inflicted wounds.
Subaru: “Petel,geuse…!”
Subaru spat out the name of the man he hated with gnashing teeth and kept his will high.
In the darkness, a world where nothing could be seen, where there was no sign of anything other than his own presence. In a place where there was no change in the outside world, solitude rapidly weakened the human heart.
Suddenly, one could imagine that one could take away every sound at a moment's notice.
Subaru: “—Aah! Kill, kill, I’ll kill yoooou!”
But soon he could no longer bear the thought, and he let out a vindictive yell, frothing at the edges of his mouth.
Being alone in a world isolated from all the outside world could easily destroy, corrupt, and end the human spirit.
In a world where nothing could begin unless one moved, Subaru screamed to shake off the fear of being left behind and to turn away from that fact.
As long as he screamed out his hatred, he could stay sane.
By holding on to his murderous intent like a madman, he could stay sane.
In order to stay mad, Subaru needed hatred.
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—And furthermore, Subaru had no idea how many hours had passed since then.
Subaru: "Hyuh, hyuh… ki, hyuh ...ll."
His consciousness drifted vacantly between wakefulness and unconsciousness.
Fatigue, weakness, and weariness slowly squeezed Subaru's spirit and body.
His throat, which had been uttering all the hatred it could muster, had long since grown hoarse, and his endless vindictiveness was no longer in the form of human speech, but only a ragged gasp.
His body that had continued to challenge the shackles, overworked beyond its limits, no longer accepted the instructions of his brain. His flesh had been torn and bone had been shaved from his wrists. His ankles were stripped to the bone, and every time they scraped against the ground, a spasmodic pain would strike them.
—Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
And yet, from the deepest recesses of his heart, only the will to kill continued to bubble up.
Now that his body and head no longer listened to him, only his heart sustained him.
It had been almost a whole day since he had been left behind and driven into a world of solitude. His body and mind had reached their limits, but Subaru had not shut his consciousness.
If his consciousness were to be cut off now, he would never be able to wake up again. And if he forgot his hatred, he would not be able to continue to recognize reality.
Only the hatred, only the intent to kill, proved Subaru's sanity.
If he forgot it, Subaru would once again be trapped in his own broken world, and he would have no choice but to become slothful, crying and laughing like a madman.
Slothful, Slothful, Slothful, Slothful, Slothful, Slothful, Slothful, Slothful, Slothful,
That word kept echoing in his head, over and over again.
Petelgeuse's deafening laughter, his deranged gestures, and the actions of the madman himself were linked to that word.
If he let weakness get the better of himself and sunk into slothfulness, he would become an abomination, just as the man had said. That was the only thing he could never accept.
«Slothful» Petelgeuse. The Witch’s Cult. Sin Archbishop. Fingers. Right Hand. Left Hand. Unseen Hand. Index Finger. Ring Finger. Pinky Finger. Diligent. Slothful. Slothful. Slothful.
Listed out were the words characteristic of the delusions Petelgeuse shouted at the top of his voice.
Subaru dug up the memories related to Petelgeuse to connect his fading consciousness, even if only a little, while trying to imagine in his withering head what the meaning of these words he had extracted was.
He had to recall the man's face more vividly, more clearly, more illuminatingly. He had to dig up his voice, his figure, his shadow, the way he walked, talked, thought, and touched, as concretely as if he were thinking of his loved and treasured, and burn it with hatred in his soul, and keep burning it as fuel for staying awake.
The strength to remove his shackles was exhausted, his throat to call for help was ripped open, and all his energy was poured into just postponing the loss of consciousness that did not add up.
From the outside, Subaru's mind had already reached the level of insanity.
Only he could not realize that there was no point in maintaining consciousness, or in letting his hatred flare up. And in a world where only he existed, his inability to realize that was the same as being asked a question that he would never understand.
Would the spirit wear out or would his mind break first?
Or would the body be unable to stay conscious, and would the body deteriorate first?
Just which of the two was the predetermined end point of the end?
There should have been only such a meaning left in connecting his consciousness.
It was not Subaru's unwillingness to give up that gave meaning to his futile and fruitless struggle.
Subaru: "—?"
Suddenly, in the jet-black darkness, Subaru felt the presence of someone other than himself and caught his breath.
Leaning his head back, too tired to move it properly, Subaru looked in the direction of the presence he felt. However, the darkness that filled the cave was too deep for him to do anything other than just stare. With no lagmite ore in sight and no means of dispelling the darkness, Subaru had no choice but to shrink back, holding his breath at the sudden presence.
He was unable to determine whether the presence was friendly or hostile.
If a third party with good intentions had appeared to help Subaru, he would have been called out to, but if someone else had appeared without that intention, it would have been too suspicious.
Holding his breath and consciously slowing even his heartbeat, Subaru killed his presence.
And yet, the presence that arose was creeping toward Subaru slowly, really slowly, little by little, at a crawling speed, but surely was approaching.
In the complete darkness, the presence was approaching Subaru, who was supposed to be hiding his presence, as if it knew where he was.
Subaru felt a sense of danger, frustration, and fear at its presence.
However, another feeling, the exact opposite of these sensations, soon passed through Subaru's mind.
—Where did this presence come from in the first place?
Subaru had never trained to sense someone's presence. Therefore, the reason why Subaru was feeling someone's presence in the darkness was because of biological sounds made by something other than himself, which had not occurred before.
And these sounds were quite close in distance, at least not from as far away as the entrance area. Above all, they didn’t start in that direction.
This sound suddenly appeared from the center of the cave.
Subaru's lips trembled with disbelief as he thought about it.
Subaru: "Re, rem...?"
He called out the name of the girl who would be the most likely candidate for the sound and the presence.
It couldn't be, reason appealed to Subaru.
The last time Subaru saw Rem, when there was still a light source left in the cave, he saw her in an unforgivable state of disrepair.
Her limbs had been shredded, her ears had been cut off, and her body had been pierced repeatedly with countless blades.
She had been left for dozens of hours on the cold ground, which had deprived her of body heat without mercy, and she had been unable to receive medical treatment.
There was no way she could have survived. It was only natural that she should be dead.
But if that were the case, what other possibilities existed? What was the nature of this presence that was approaching Subaru at a crawling speed from the place where Rem had collapsed?
Subaru: "Rem, Rem...?"
???: "——"
His ringing call, however, was only met with silence.
Still, the presence seemed to have been convinced of its purpose by Subaru's voice, and its crawling speed seemed to have changed just a little. It was only a small change, though.
Slowly, slowly, he heard something being dragged along the cold ground.
There was no way she could stand up and walk. If it were her, she would be moving her two remaining limbs and crawling toward him like a caterpillar.
Subaru raised himself up, pulled on his manacles and shackles, and with a clatter of chains, he tried to move himself. However, the wall's shackles were so stubborn that they would not suddenly loosen after more than a dozen hours of trying. Frustrated, pitiful, and filled with a hot feeling in his chest, Subaru waited, almost in tears, for the crawling presence to reach him.
And then—and then,
Subaru: "re..."
Finally, the presence that had been crawling toward him reached Subaru's body.
Subaru's throat froze as he tried to catch it and shout with glee.
It was so light and cold that it didn't seem to belong to the living.
Subaru: "Re, rem...?"
Rem's body was lying face down at Subaru’s feet, who was sitting on his knees. Her body, which was trembling slightly, had already lost the warmth of blood and was as cold as ice.
She was still clinging to Subaru's body, dragging her body, which should have been finished. He couldn’t feel her left hand. Only her right hand was on Subaru's leg, waist, and chest, and he was covered with her as if she was hugging him from the front.
Subaru silently accepted the embrace of the dead woman, but he did not know what was happening.
He was sure that it was Rem who he was holding in front of him. However, her body was clearly dead to his touch, and there was only an unrealistic feeling that she was moving as if she were moving only from the smoldering embers of an extinguished life fire.
The embrace continued for a while.
Suddenly, the cold encounter was ended by Rem.
She had been holding Subaru with only one arm, but her strength left her body and she collapsed to her knees. Subaru hurriedly reached out to support her, but his hand did not support Rem's body. Because.
Subaru: "—Ugh?!"
The hand he held out was grabbed by Rem's body and pressed against the ground.
Subaru, who had been pulled down to the ground in front of him, was stunned by Rem's sudden behavior and strength beyond his imagination, and he was even more astonished by her next action.
A large amount of liquid poured down from directly above onto Subaru's arms, which were placed on the ground.
It was a viscous, cold liquid that smelled of iron rust—Subaru only realized that it was the blood that Rem had spit out when it splashed into his mouth and he tasted it.
The aversion of being exposed to a large amount of someone else’s blood sent a shiver down Subaru's spine, but a series of changes instantly erased that negative feeling.
Rem: "—ma."
The whisper shook the atmosphere just slightly, interfering with the mana and causing it to take effect.
Subaru: "—Uah."
Pain struck Subaru, an intense pain that felt like a sharp blade gouging his wrist.
The pain, which made him jerk his head back involuntarily, started at his wrist and spread its force to his second arm and shoulder area.
He didn't know what happened. Blood was spat on him, the pain was sudden, and if he didn't do something about it, he would lose the use of both arms—just a moment later he felt a shudder.
—Just after that shudder, the shackles, which could not bear the pressure from the inside, cracked open.
The metal shattered, and the light sound of falling debris echoed across the cave floor.
Subaru exhaled roughly at the sudden relief of the pain, recognizing the sense of release that spread throughout his arm and the burning pain that covered his skin.
Then he understood,
Subaru: "Rem, you..."
The blood Rem spat out had been magically frozen, and the pressure from it destroyed the shackles.
Naturally, Subaru's arms, which were also affected by the magic, were not in a safe state. But even so, his wrists turned and his fingers moved according to Subaru's will. If he disregarded the pain, he would be able to move his arms as usual with the power of his will.
In other words, Rem's plan had succeeded.
Subaru was about to praise her for it when he felt a light body bump into his raised body. Light, too light. Blood had been lost from his body, and now even her last bit of consciousness was about to disappear.
Subaru: "Rem... wait, Rem. Wait, ...me."
He wanted to say, "Don't leave me.”
Or did he want to ask her if she hated him?
Whichever was the true intention, Subaru despaired at his self-centeredness.
He was still trying to protect the weak creature that he was, even at this point in his life.
Even though Rem had literally saved Subaru by overcoming death.
And with that, the light of her life was about to be extinguished for real this time.
Rem: "—n?"
Subaru: "Rem?"
Rem's lips, the cold lips of the dead, were trying for the first time to spin some words.
The girl who had achieved her goal was trying to leave something behind for the final time, crawling on the ground with her motionless body, kneading magic with her foggy consciousness.
It was,
Rem: "Li, ve..."
Subaru: "——!"
Rem: “L, ov… you…”
She was dead.
Now, Rem was dead.
In Subaru's arms, her light body became heavier. The weight of her body, which was still light even as it became heavier, a body that had completely lost its soul, was pressing down on Subaru's entire body.
Finally, in a broken line, she said to Subaru, “Live.”
—Wailing echoed through the dark cavern.
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It was only a few hours later that Subaru was able to escape the shackles on his ankles.
Subaru, now free of the shackles around his wrists, reached out within the confines of the shackles on his ankles and succeeded in grabbing one of the crosses that had left the hands of the one of the black-cloked men who had died in the battle with Rem.
The broken blade was useless as a blade, but that was a good thing. If the blade had been full and well, Subaru might have gone on a rampage and cut off his own ankle.
Subaru: "...Light, huh?"
Turning his ankle, where most of his flesh had been removed and even the bone was visible, he checked it with pain. If he just ignored the pain that was so intense that his consciousness turned white every time he stepped on the ground, there would apparently be no hindrance to walking.
Subaru stood up, with Rem's corpse cradled in both of his arms.
In his freed arms, her body, which had lost two limbs, was so small and light. She was so small that she could have been completely covered up by the figure clutching her to his chest, and he felt terribly sorry for himself that his life had been saved by such a small figure.
The blade of the cross was broken. Carefully, carefully, he continued to strike the broken edge of the blade against the joints of the shackles. The cross collapsed and the shackles were destroyed. The cross barely prevailed in the battle to see which of the two would be the first to break.
He had thrown the shackles as hard as he could against the wall, and the lagmite ore lit up the cave with a pale blue glow from the impact.
The cold light illuminated the dimly lit cavern. Even though the light was so faint, Subaru's eyelids were dazzled by the light, which he had not seen in dozens of hours.
Subaru felt tears welling up from behind his eyes at the pain, and he was strangely impressed that there were still tears left in his body.
He thought he had cried and cried until his throat was hoarse and he had shed all his tears.
Subaru: "Let's go, Rem."
While the impacted lagomite ore was still shining, Subaru started walking toward the outside.
Pain rushed up from his feet as he took one step and then another. The pain rushed up to his shoulders, and his arms that held Rem had also suffered tremendous damage.
There was no place on his body that did not hurt. There was no place that did not bleed.
But the part of his body that felt the most pain was already feeling nothing.
Slowly, with tortoise-like steps, Subaru and Rem made their way across the cold ground of the cave. He felt the coldness of the ground directly on the soles of his feet, which had lost their shoes, but Rem's body in his arms was much colder. The coldness of the ground was nothing compared to that.
After passing through a long, narrow passageway of the cave, he came to an entrance blocked by rocks.
Suddenly, Subaru reached the entrance and was at a loss. In front of him, the rock blocking the hole was the same size as one Subaru's in its length and three Subaru's in its width. In terms of weight, even ten Subaru’s would not be enough to move it.
There was no way he could move it. He wondered how he had gotten in here in the first place, but his memories of when he was shut out of reality were vague and blurred, and the instructions for moving the rock were nowhere to be found in his brain.
Subaru: "One way in, is it...?"
Even if he thought there might be another way out, he didn't recall any trace of those things on the road to this point. Or perhaps, like this rock, there was a cleverly disguised hidden passageway, but if so, how much time and luck would it take to find it?
Neither a flash of inspiration nor luck was too remote for Subaru.
Subaru: “I’ve come this far, you’re lying… lying… please, you’re lying…!”
Weakened, Subaru complained in a voice devoid of power at the mercilessness before him. His body touched the rock in front of him as he leaned against it—a moment.
The rock, which had the mass to support Subaru's body, suddenly vanished from existence.
Subaru, who was supposed to lean forward against the rock, stomped on his bellowing foot and somehow managed to hold on with his feet as he was about to fall, and the world was scorched by the vermilion of the setting sun.
Subaru: "——!"
The orange sunlight was so intense to Subaru that an involuntary squeal of pain escaped his mouth.
Beyond the forest, the setting sun beyond the hills filled the horizon, dyeing the world the same color as the flames in a final greeting that ended the day's role.
Subaru, who had been in the dark for so long, crouched for a moment, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the light. After a few moments, Subaru stood up, and after a few blinks, he looked around to make sure the light was not affecting him.
As far as his eye could see, there was nothing familiar about the scene, which was just a continuous group of trees.
Even when he looked far out in all directions, there was no sign of human activity, not even a glimpse of a forest road or a town road. It was only natural to assume that the people who were holed up in the cave were in a place of confinement, completely separated from human society.
Subaru: "But, I'll walk..."
Not knowing where they were headed, there was no way to determine where they were going.
Still, as if pushed by the light weight in his arms, Subaru started walking through the forest. Stepping on leaves, over roots, and crossing the soil, Subaru made his way through the gradually darkening night.
He was certain that he was in the vicinity of the Maathers' estate, the Roswaal Mansion.
When his consciousness was on the edge of insanity, Rem would have taken Subaru to the mansion. He dug back into his memory that she had done so while he was being rocked by the dragon carriage and finding peace in her lap.
There was trouble with the dragon carriage and it overturned, it was the work of those «Witch Cultists» and Subaru's body was taken away by their hands, Rem had spent her life to save Subaru, and now Subaru was doing this.
Subaru's inner gut was being scorched by a bottomless fire.
Thinking of Rem, his heart ached as if constricted by gratitude and apology.
Remembering Petelgeuse, his body creaked with hatred and vindictiveness.
Anger, sadness, hatred, and deep love sustained and drove Subaru.
The road ahead was uncertain, and there was nothing to guide him.
Even so, Subaru's feet did not stop, and he continued to resist without losing consciousness.
—He was still on his way, and it may have been a miracle that had saved him.
There was nothing to guide him, nothing to rely on, and he just kept on walking, refusing to stop, until he found what he sought, the place he wanted to reach.
A miracle was a mysterious phenomenon beyond human power.
If this was the case, then it was an undeniable miracle that Subaru reached his destination without any help from anyone and by the shortest distance possible.
For the first time since Subaru came to this world, the world bestowed a miracle upon him.
If there was a god who controlled fate, he smiled upon Subaru for the first time.
And that smile, that miracle,
Subaru: "——ha"
—It came only once.
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The very same hell that he had seen five days ago had once again overrun the village.
Burned down houses and blood stained villagers. The corpses of those whose lives had been taken in vain in the face of resistance were gathered haphazardly in the center of the village, forming a heap of corpses.
Cut by blades, pierced, burned by magic, and crushed, there was no hope of finding any survivors.
If there was anything different from before, it was that the degree of damage to the villagers' bodies had become more severe, and,
Subaru: "Petra. Mild. Lucas. Meina. Cain. Dine…”
Even the cruel corpses of the children had been incorporated into the vicious pile.
With Rem in his arms, the strength drained from Subaru's knees.
He collapsed on the spot, hugging the cold body in his arms tighter and tighter, sobbing.
What had he done?
How could he have known this was going to happen and overlooked it?
Subaru had completely forgotten about this scene, this mind-shattering hellscape, until he passed through the forest road and spotted black smoke rising from the direction of the village.
No, he had looked away. He pretended to be crushed by Rem's death, using his endless hatred for Petelgeuse as an excuse.
In an attempt to escape from what had happened, Subaru once again chose to be self-pitying.
The result was the scene before his eyes.
Children had died here because Rem, who had protected them last time, failed to arrive at the village. Instead, while she was saving Subaru, the children were brought to the end of their suffering, with the result being that their lives were taken away.
The spiteful reality consumed Subaru's heart.
He understood now. He understood everything.
It was Petelgeuse.
He killed the villagers, he killed the children, and he killed Rem.
Not once, but twice, he had done the unforgivable.
The plan was set. He knew what had to be done.
Petelgeuse must be killed. He must be killed, killed, killed, every last cell of him must be burned out of existence.
Otherwise, he would not be able to repay their deaths.
His thoughts were tinged with hatred.
His vision turned red, and he realized that most of his scarce blood had gone up to his head and was running out of his nose.
He roughly wiped the blood dripping from his nostrils, re-hugged Rem to keep her clean, and stood up. His knees were shaking, his ankles were rattling, and he was surprised that he could stand or walk.
Subaru: "Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill you for them…"
But if he could walk, if he could advance, he would bite off his throat.
Dragging his consciousness coated in killing intent along, Subaru headed toward the mansion. He had seen the hell of the village. Next was the mansion. What was waiting for him at the mansion? Just before he died, just before he had to start over, his memory was so foggy that he had no idea what had happened.
When he arrived at the mansion, he saw something decisive and thought his heart had been broken and shattered. He tried desperately to remember what it was, his brain’s nerves burning, and then he remembered.
He had found Rem dead.
And if that was the experience, this time he had already gone through the experience. Rem was dead, and the impact of her death and devotion on Subaru was immeasurable.
Subaru: "Kuha."
Spontaneously, a sneer overflowed.
Really, really, nothing had changed.
Nothing had changed. Nothing had changed. He didn’t know if he had ever spent so much time starting over in such an ineffective manner.
No matter how things unfolded, Subaru must have gained something through death.
However, what was the value of the person he had become now that his spirit had been destroyed, that he had been unable to save anything, and that he had once again encountered hell?
He was not sure to whom he was directing his murderous intent.
Petelgeuse, that was the only name that sustained Subaru. That should be enough. It should be the one you want to kill. Kill him, kill him, kill him.
After he killed him, why not kill himself too?
Subaru's thoughts began to fill with noise, and his consciousness kept flashing.
Standing once again between sanity and insanity, Subaru looked ahead with bloodshot eyes.
No matter what happened, the top priority now was to get to the mansion, choosing, as always, to put off the situation at hand.
And then—
???: "—— —— —— ——!!"
Subaru saw the Roswaal mansion collapse the moment he crested the hill.
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Roofs collapsed and terraces were torn away.
Windowpanes broke and shattered at once, scattering gleaming shards, and the cracked white walls were destroyed as if torn apart.
Subaru, who had arrived at the gate, looked up in dismay at the overwhelming destruction.
As if some kind of demolition work using bombs, the mansion instantly lost its outline.
The familiar building lost its shape, and the carefully maintained garden was strewn with its debris, losing all traces of its former self.
He searched his memory for any experience of encountering this scene. But there was no corresponding memory. Or perhaps the shock was so great that he didn't remember the moment of his death.
Subaru: “W-What is...?"
A confused look crossed his face, and the only thing that came to mind was the scornful sneer of a scrawny man.
If the village slaughter was the work of his man, he would have turned the brunt of his evil deeds toward the mansion as well.
The means may have led to the collapse of the building. But even if so...
Subaru: "What in the world did this...?"
The scene in front of him was beyond Subaru's comprehension, and his eyes were bewildered as he exhaled a white breath.
He was so anxious that he sought the touch of his arms more intensely, and the coldness of his palms made his heart burst with sadness.
Subaru realized, too late, that he had lost his breath.
—Subaru realized, too late, that his own ragged breath seemed to be clouded over with white.
A stabbing pain surrounded his entire body.
The breath he exhaled was white, and as soon as it dissipated into the air, it transformed into icy drops. And the oxygen he inhaled was cold, freezing his lungs that let it in, tormenting Subaru from the inside out.
He didn't know what's happening.
His entire body was deprived of heat, and he collapsed, finding it difficult to even stand.
He crouched down on the spot, fell forward onto the ground, rolled over on his side with Rem's body in his arms, and was unable to move.
It was not a case of not having enough blood or running out of strength.
Subaru knew this sensation of not being able to transmit his will to his fingertips and of his consciousness becoming detached from his body. It was a feeling of loneliness and helplessness that he had experienced many times before and that he would never get used to.
In an attempt to resist his impending doom, even if only a little, Subaru, seeking a place in his motionless body where he can follow his will, transmitted instructions from his cranial nerves to his entire body. However, only the eyes in his eye sockets, which barely moved, heard what he said, and they remained only to look up at the collapsed mansion.
Subaru: "—Ah."
And in that fixed vision, which this time had stopped moving, Subaru saw.
—It was a single beast, standing on the ruins of the collapsed mansion.
It was a beast with gray fur all over its body and golden eyes.
Its four limbs and long, long tail wagging in the air was majestic and mysterious.
Above all, the beast had such a mighty physique that it could easily be mistaken for a mansion.
Looking at it from a distance, Subaru realized the cause of the collapse of the mansion.
The beast had suddenly appeared from inside the mansion. If such a huge body appeared from within, the mansion would naturally not be able to withstand the pressure.
Shaking itself and glaring at its surroundings was a huge gray-haired beast that appeared to be from the cat family.
It spat out sharp fangs and white blizzard-like breath from its mouth, turning the world into a pure white hell that would chill all living things.
Subaru realized that his eyes had finally turned a shade of white, wondering what that thing was, and before he knew it, his throat was blocked.
The cold that he had felt so much had disappeared; on the contrary, he even felt warmth.
The temptation to surrender everything to the warmth flickered in his mind, and Subaru forgot everything, including his searing hatred and the grief that tore at his soul.
He forgot, forgot, forgot, and his consciousness went beyond oblivion, beyond the icy warmth of his heart.
«Sleep—with my daughter.»
Just before he fell asleep, he thought he heard someone's voice.
Natsuki Subaru melted as if he was sinking into a world of pleasure where everything and anything was no longer important.
He melted, and melted, and melted, ——and vanished.