The Redemption of Ashwatthama

Ashwatthama continued to wander the desolate wasteland. His thoughts always return to past events that occurred over four thousand years ago. The unforgivable actions he committed against the people he loved replay in his mind. At last he released a gut-wrenching scream to the heavens, “I was not always like this. Once I was good and kind. The war twisted me. I did not act like I normally would.”

A bright orb of light appeared before Ashwatthama. Out stepped a great tiger with the mighty Durga astride it. With an imperious glance at Ashwatthama, the great goddess stated, “I too have fought in countless wars over the ages. However, not once in the heat of battle have I ever done anything that I am ashamed of later. Ashwatthama, son of Drona, be honest with me. Were you truly a good person before the war?”

“I had friends and loved ones. I trained under my father Drona, with the Pandavas and the Kauravas before everything fell apart,” said Ashwatthama.

“That was what you did, not who you were at the time. Be honest with yourself. Be brave enough to admit your faults. It is the only way you can ever move on,” replied Durga.

“No! I was petty and weak! I was jealous of my father’s relationship with Arjuna. I felt like a second-rate warrior compared to Arjuna and Bhima,” answered Ashwatthama.

“Now we are getting somewhere. It feels good to be true to yourself. If you did that from the beginning, perhaps you would not have been cursed for all eternity. Do you remember what choice you made that started your downfall?” said Durga.

“Yes, I should have fought with the Pandavas. In my heart I knew they were in the right. I just could not abandon my father,” said Ashwatthama.

“I warn you, one more false statement like that, and I will leave. You can continue to wander the land cursed until the end of days. Is that what you want?”

“No, please stay!”

“Fine,” replied Durga.

“I wanted to prove that I was a better warrior than Arjuna,” answered Ashwatthama.

“That is the answer I was waiting to hear. Answer my next question honestly and in no uncertain terms. After your father died and the war ended, why did you not surrender in peace?” asked Durga.

“Because I had nothing left. I had no family, no home. The Pandavas took everything from me. All I had to cling to was my rage, and my desire for revenge. I wanted them to know what it feels like when everything you ever loved is destroyed right in front of your eyes!”

“So, you felt justified in your actions against the Pandava family?” asked Durga.

“Of course not! My quest for revenge turned me into a monster. An evil man who killed innocent children while they slept. I killed Arjuna’s grandchild while it was still in the womb. Actions like that can never be justified,” said Ashwatthama. With a heavy sigh, and a defeated posture, Ashwatthama whispered, ”It was not the war that twisted me. I did this to myself. I deserve this curse. Leave me, great goddess. I do not deserve your attention. However, I must thank you. Until now I have never taken responsibility for my own actions. It was talking to you that finally made me see things clearly.”

A brilliant flash of red light surrounded Durga, and in an instant she was gone. In her place stood the awe-inspiring, fear-inducing Kali. When her fearsome gaze made eye contact with Ashwatthama, he fell to his knees.

“I am the dark blue night. I am creation and destruction. I am the divine protector who grants moksha. It is I alone who has the power to grant liberation from this life, and all incarnations. I am Kali!” said Kali. As she strode toward Ashwatthama, she continued, “Ashwatthama, your curse has served its purpose. You have admitted your faults. It is time for you to take the next step. I grant you a release of the life and death cycle. Be at peace, Ashwatthama.”

Still on his knees Ashwatthama gazed adoringly at Kali with tears in his eyes. He said,” Thank you, merciful goddess. You honor me.” With that Kali swung her sword and gave Ashwatthama a warrior’s death.

Author’s Note

This story is loosely based on The Kaurava Empire: Volume 2 The Vengeance of Ashwatthama graphic novel. It was written by Jason Quinn, with art work by Sachin Nagar the graphic novel is based on the Mahabharata. It describes the events before, during, and after the war from the perspective of Ashwatthama. It is all flashbacks that he tells Governor Aiken, who he saved from an attack. Their conversation occurs thousands of years after the great war. The point was to show how after the war Ashwatthama's quest of vengeance caused him to do horrible things. Ultimately, he burned the Pandavas' camp, killed their children while they slept, and killed Arjuna's grandchild while still in the womb. However, Krishna did bring their grandchild back to life. As a result, the gods cursed Ashwatthama with eternal life and constant pain. After hearing his story, Governor Aiken passes judgment saying the slaughter of children is unforgivable. She leaves Ashwatthama stranded on the planet. It tells how war can twist a person and make them do unforgivable things. It is a cautionary tale of the evil actions war can cause.

My story starts at the end of the graphic novel. I felt like Ashwatthama’s story was not over. In the epics I read in this class if a demon did what Ashwatthama did they would be killed by a hero. Since the gods cursed him with immortality I thought that they should eventually end the curse. So, the whole point of my story was to get Ashwatthama to accept his guilt. Then he would get peace through death. I chose Durga and Kali for several reasons. One, they are the same goddess. Two, both are awesome. Three, Kali has the power to free a soul from the reincarnation cycle. Four, according to Kali’s Wikipedia page she appears in the Mahabharata and interacts with Drona and Ashwatthama during the war. Here is a link to a version of the Mahabharata where Kali is with Ashwatthama during his attack on the Pandavas' camp. So, I thought it would work well for them to meet again in my story. The original story can be read on my blog Epics of India.