Embedded Files
Mind The Analog. Episode 1: Life Sucks
[ALABASTER is in a cold sweat, having just woken up from a night terror. Panting noises are heard, as well as scratching on the door, and there is skittering outside of bugs’ legs. ALABASTER holds a long rusted pipe in his hands.]
ALABASTER: NO! Don't come in here! I am armed!
[The skittering continues and the door begins to creak under the pressure, while ALABASTER pants harder.]
ALABASTER, yelling: NO NO NO, GET AWAY!
[bugs stop skittering as the door creaks open]
JEREMY: Oh, Al.. You look like shit…
[JEREMY walks towards ALABASTER]
The hallucinations again?
ALABASTER: Jeremy?.. How- What are you doing here?
JEREMY: Well, I came to check on you, but then I heard screaming and thought I should make sure there was no creep killin’ ya.
ALABASTER, scoffing: Gee thanks, you don’t think I can handle a creep on my own? I am a detective ya know… a good one at that.
JEREMY: Well, I’ll trust ya once you don’t threaten to kill me when I try to give you a visit. That rusty pipe you're holding there could give me damn tetanus.
ALABASTER: Jermey, I don’t need you coming around here feeling sorry for me, I do that enough for the both of us.
[There is a pause before JERMEY lets out a sigh]
JEREMY: It’s not your fault… I want you to know that.
ALABASTER: I know… I just can’t help but blame myself.
JEREMY: I know, and it makes me upset that you keep beating yourself up like this. Locking yourself in the office all the time is not healthy. The stale air totally slapped me in the face when I walked in…
ALABASTER, offended: I like my office, thank you!
[Pause]
It's predictable and safe.. I’m comfortable here.
JEREMY: I know it's comfortable. And that's the problem. We have a world crumbling… You shouldn't sit like prey waiting for death to whisk your problems away.
ALABASTER, mumbling: Maybe it would be better that way.
JEREMY, peeved: Don’t talk like that. I’ll walk right out of here if you’re just going to talk like that.
[JEREMY pauses and takes a breath]
All I ask of you is that you take care of yourself even just a little bit. Get some food or something.
ALABASTER: Okay yeah… I’ll take care of myself, I promise.
JEREMY: Good, The world needs that badass detective again…
[ALABASTER laughs]
ALABASTER: Sure, sure, I’ll keep that in mind.
[JEREMY stands and pats ALABASTER’S back, then footsteps are heard as Jeremy heads back to the door. The door creaks as JEREMY opens it]
JEREMY: Well, I should be getting along… Remember what I said, Al.
ALABASTER: Yes I understand. I’ll do better, I promise…
[The door shuts after a moment. There is a clock ticking in the background. Suddenly, ALABASTER stands and walks to the portable radio]
ALABASTER: No matter what Jeremy says, it is my fault. I need to take responsibility for it…
[A few buttons on the portable radio click]
ALABASTER: I shouldn't even be doing this…
[ALABASTER clicks more buttons and the radio comes to life crackling static before a broadcast comes clear, where WILLIAM speaks]
WILLIAM:-- and please, remain calm. Resisting the anomalies will only cause more suffering if they find you. Remember, face the anomalies with the notion that you will die. It is utterly unavoidable.
ALABASTER, annoyed: Oi, What the fuck is he on about now…
[mumbles from the broadcast, cont. below]
I don’t know how much more I can handle of this.
WILLIAM: If you see an anomaly, it’s likely already aware of you. Trust me when I say acceptance is the best way to go out. Fighting will only end in more turmoil for you.
Now, I know you may be hesitant. I know you may say it’s useless or stupid to listen to me. But you could never begin to understand the horrors that I have seen. The guttural screams of pain I hear from all the people I have attempted to save…
[Pause]
They always came to me for help.
[Longer pause]
I need you all to be smart out there, so everything doesn’t get worse. Let go of your petty battles and just try to stop the damage.
[Voice cracking once in the next sentence]
I can’t handle seeing all these people die. I’m done with that life.
If you find yourself face to face with an anomaly, just accept death. If you resist, you will only hurt the rest of us.
[There is a crackle of silence from the radio. ALABASTER changes the channel and THE BROADCASTER cuts on mid-sentence.]
THE BROADCASTER: – the government. They love and care for you, as you should them. It is in your best interest to listen to us, we will keep you safe from harm.
We will keep the anomalies from you as best we can by any means necessary, and give sound advice for whenever direct help cannot be given. Remember, of course, what we do not need is people thinking they can fight anomalies and luring more in to kill us. You must not resist. You must accept what happens, even graciously, when the anomalies find you. Hide if you can, but if you are found, it is already too late. Your only chance at life is to hide. To be found is to be dead – remember that if nothing else.
I, for one, adore the government. They have kept me safe, they will keep you safe, and in return we all must listen to them.
Our government is a glorious thing. Their dedication to the people is wonderful, the dedication to our safety and longevity is a blessing. They deal with the anomalies that plague the land and give us a proper life in this horrible apocalypse.
We will get through this. We will persevere. We will win this war — this is a war, I would say, though not quite a fair one. Anomalies win every encounter. Dead or not after meeting them, the anomalies will win in the end. They follow, the government has told me, those who live. They lurk until the person is dead. A peaceful death of old age is not possible anymore. I would say a quick death is better. To be tortured so long is a Hell no one should be made to endure. A quick death, you see, is a far better fate. Maybe then, you will find solace.
We must make the most of what we have here while we have it, but if we can no longer have it, we must accept it – not fight it. It would be better for us all to take what is given to us. It will not hurt if you do not struggle. The only ones who hurt are those that do. Those that fight back. They are the ones who hurt most. The ones who suffer the most agonizing of fates.
I often think about the last moments at the hands of an anomaly. Think about it. They seem to kill almost instantly if no fight is given, so give them no fight.
Again, our government does as much as possible to stop these anomalies from winning this raging war, but even those efforts are not foolproof. There are anomalies in most large cities and anywhere they can find food.
[pause]
Humans, of course, are their main source of food, though they might feed on other animals.
[lower eerie voice]
Watch your backs.
[long pause, wherein distorted music starts playing]
THE BROADCASTER, cheerfully: Hello everyone! Would you like to see the government? Well, don’t I have a solution for you! It’s called “the definitely not chloroform spray bottle to see the government fun time!!” You can see the government in Ultra High Definition with the low low price of 9.99! Come see the future of our world.
[spoken very faster]
Side effects include: diarrhea , upset stomach, seeing the hat man, dizziness, coughing, headache, possible brain aneurysm, kidney failure, and death.
[ALABASTER sighs and turns off the radio]
ALABASTER: Woah… doesn’t that just make death sound lovely…
I’m going to bed…
[long pause]
[Radio clicks on once again, this time on its own]
[Life Sucks plays, lyrics below]
You’re feelin’, you’ve got a feelin’
that things don’t go your wa-ay~
You’re dreamin’, you’re still believin’
that it’s just not your da-ay~
I tell ya, I’ve gotta tell ya,
I’ve gotta give ya just a
pat on your shoulder
I see ya, I really feel ya,
I hope ya get this
when you get older.
Life beats you down, it keeps you down,
makes you wish you’d just wake up.
You pass the blame, it’s such a shame
I know you’re feeling stu-uck~.
You feel alone, you’re just a drone,
You sure as hell don’t show it
Life’s just a game, you’ve gone insane,
But hey - at least you know it?
Let your hopes down, get depression,
Sadness makes a great impression.
Keep on sobbin’, keep on cryin’,
Pressure makes the brightest diamonds!
Life sucks, but that’s no reason
To give up, to stop believin’
Lift up your stupid head and see…
This is how it’s supposed to be.
You’re stayin’, I think you’re stayin’
In one bad he-ad spa-ace~
They’re sayin’, I hear them sayin’
that you don’t know your pla-ace~
You’re seein’, you think you’re seein’
You think you’re seein’
there’s an end to the tunnel
You’re pleadin’, I hear you pleadin’
That where you’re heading
leads out of trouble
It’s hard to walk, it’s hard to talk,
Can you really do it all?
Don’t you agree it’s hard to breathe?
Harder than you reca-all~
Ignore your pride, that pain inside,
Don’t try to scratch that i-itch~
You want to shout that you want out
Life’s such…well, it’s really hard.
Stop your frowning, people hate you,
Even that old god you pray to.
Keep on smiling, keep pretending
That your world is far from ending!
Life sucks, but you can live it,
It depends on what you give it,
But if you’re going to see it through…
Don’t be stupid, don’t be lazy
Driving other people crazy
Mandatory self improvement
If you want a prayer of movement
Life sucks, but that’s not on you
'Cause it’s bad for all of us too.
But if you’ll give it your best shot…
Let your hopes down, get depression,
Sadness makes a great impression.
Keep on sobbin’, keep on cryin’,
Pressure makes the brightest diamonds!
Life sucks, but that’s no reason
To give up, to stop believin’
Lift up your stupid head and see…
This is how it’s supposed to be.
Lift up your stupid head and see…
This is how it’s supposed to be!
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