Stranger in Me

When I look at old photos of myself I see a stranger. Who was that person? I do like looking at pictures to remind me of how far I've become as a person. Susan Sontag said photographed images do not seem to be a statement about the world as much as pieces of it. Pieces of who we are through time. I agree with that I look through pictures and it reminds me of times in my life when I wasn't the person I wanted to be. I was what I thought I should be. I don’t feel as though I hide behind a mask I don’t want to waste my life doing that anymore. It took me a long time to get to that point. I'm more me than I've ever been. I have decided to go back to school after a very long time. Its a new chapter in my life which can be a bit nerve wreaking but also exciting. In my past I've been a pastry cook which was something I loved to do and still do love. When people say do what you love for work it might not always end up the way you want, It didn't for me. Unfortunately money is more important then just doing what you love. I know people might try to argue that fact but I've lived it and its my truth. In the culinary world you do rely on social media and getting your food pictures out, to reach out to culinary followers. I've seen some amazing foods that looked great and then getting the chance to taste them. Lets just say looks can be deceiving. Its just like any photos people post. They want you to buy into their reality and it can be just be a facade. Susan Sontag also said a photograph passes for incontrovertible proof that a given thing happened. The picture may distort, but there is always a presumption that something exists, or did exist, which is like what's in the picture. The photo that we alter and we choose to post to social media is still has some truth to it. I just think its disappointing we feel the need for filters and to crop pictures. To almost an unrecognizable version of yourself. Why does changing a photo to what you think will make other people like you more or to receive attention on social media?

In my selfie photo you might say to yourself I am not smiling in this photograph so that must mean I am not happy. Some people will see my tattoos and judge me for them and assume they know the type of person I am because of them. It has never effected me when people have a negative response to them. I choose what I want on my skin its my body, Also I am not unhappy in those photo its the complete opposite I remember having this feeling of at piece with my life. The process of getting here was not easy but so worth it. No matter how intense life gets, I haven't lost this feeling. I am lucky to have this photo to look back on,Just as Susan Sontag states that photos have become evidence to us and that if no photos are taken than its like we weren’t even there. You get a chance to document a time in your life. A time that you can look back at and relive that moment again with that photo. Being able to look at photos and enjoy memories with family, of vacations, birthday parties, and just moments of our lives we tend to forget about. That when we see that photo it brings back that whole day.

In my other photo its just more of on artsy self portrait which I did struggle with, Its not that I don't mind portrait photos but I think It falls out of my comfort zone which isn't always a bad thing. Like when you take a photo with someone and they post it and its what you think is a horrible photo of yourself because the first thing you are worried about is what everyone will think. Is It good enough ? Do I look strange? Is that my good side? No matter how confident you are I think you will still ask these types of questions when it comes to social media. I know in the past when my friends would post a picture on Facebook with me in it and I didn't think I looked good I would demand they take it down. I would then say send it to me to approve before posting. It amazes me that I thought It was the biggest deal for one or more not to my slandered pictures were posted it made me upset, I wish I would have not let a picture hold so much power to upset me or stress me out. To the point where I never wanted to take pictures out of fear of a unflattering picture would be posted. I did get over that phase and now Its more like I don't care, So what if someone say something or doesn't like a picture of me? Is that the end of the world for me? Definitely not, Pictures will always be something I plan on taking pictures, they allow us to hold on to images of important people,times and thing. Although I personally prefer to live in the moment and not need to take a photo of everything I am doing, I think that sometimes in doing that it makes you miss out on the real experience of your adventures.

When I read Susan Sontag's work It really amazed me that she wrote this over 40 years ago and was right about many things she

said. She in a way is warning us how pictures will have a such an influence in society, Even knowing that photos will be alter and its only and image of the truth, When a photo has so much power that some people will be more worried about getting a picture over helping someone in a dangerous situation which I've seen on social media. Just so that person can post for reactions and the attentions. Until reading Plato's Cave and Susan Sontag views on it, I never fully realized the impact of a picture, How much more complicated they make the world. Yes theirs pros on photos but does that out way the cons? When people decide helping someone isn't as important as getting that video or photo. For me its morally wrong and if society's instinct is to stop and grab a phone. Not to call the police but to take out the camera just to be the first one with a video or picture, How can we change that?

While writing this I started thinking about No Engfish and this part i read. Another kind of Engfish—not fancy, academic language, but simply everyday words that say nothing. this is how I feel, I have never been a great writer and its been years since I've actually had to do any kind of real writing. So it made me nervous. I am for sure going to have to go back and work on this draft because I know its not my best but I also know I am going to keep working to make it my best.

Works Cited

Sontag, Susan. “In Plato’s Cave.” On Photography, Dell Publishing, 1977, pp. 3-24. Composition Flipped, writing101.net/flip/wp-content/resources/documents/sontag-in-platos-cave.pdf

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https://writing101.net/flip/wp-content/resources/documents/poison-fish.pdf