What To Do

How to Help Someone You Care About

• Listen without judgement and believe your friend. Do not force them to take action they're not ready for, but do encourage them to take steps and seek a professional.
• If the survivor seeks medical attention or plans to report, offer to be there. Your presence can offer the support they need.
• Be patient. Remember, there is no timetable for recovering from trauma. Avoid putting pressure on them to engage in activities they aren’t ready to do yet.
• Encourage self-care.
• "Maintain confidentiality, but know your limits. Avoid telling other friends about what your friend has disclosed, even if you think that the survivor wouldn’t mind or the friend wouldn’t tell; but also know that you are not a trained therapist." (https://www.knowyourix.org/high-school-resource/supporting-high-school-student-survivor/)
• Take time for yourself; "It’s important to know that there is no normal or one way to react when you find out someone you care about has survived an act of sexual violence. Regardless of what you’re feeling, these emotions can be intense and difficult to deal with. Learning how to manage these feelings can help you support the survivor in your life and can help you feel less overwhelmed." (https://rainn.org/articles/self-care-friends-and-family)

How to Seek Support as a Survivor in High School

I recommend reading through the link below, but the highlights include:

• "You know best what kind of support you need and from whom you feel safe asking for it. Know though that, if you’re under 18 and want to pursue legal action, you may need to involve a parent/guardian."
• Pick a good time to discuss the situation with your parents/guardians if it is not an emergency. You want to have their full attention.
• Set the tone for the conversation; they need to know you're about to say something important.
• Be prepared for different parent reactions. (Possible reactions are listed in the link below to help you prepare.)
• No matter their reaction, you did nothing wrong.
• Avoid feeling pressure about what to do next.
• Tell them what you want from them, i.e. "'I would like you to file a protection order on my behalf…' or 'When you say ___, I feel like I’m being blamed for staying in my relationship…'"

(https://www.knowyourix.org/high-school-resource/seeking-support-high-school-survivor/)

What Can I Do When I Am Being Sexually Harassed?

• DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF.
• DO NOT EXCUSE THEIR BEHAVIOR, i.e. "This person has not been respecting my boundaries and repeatedly ignores me when I say no, but I know that they're a good person deep down." WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS NOT OKAY.
• Say "no" clearly.
• Write down what has happened. Include what happened, the date, where it was, and possible people who witnessed it. Keep this in a safe place.
• Report it to a trusted adult--parents, guardians, teachers, guidance counselors, etc. "If you want the school to do something about the harassment, you MUST tell a school official, such as the principal, that you are being sexually harassed. If you do not feel comfortable telling the school official yourself, get the help of your parents, a teacher, guidance counselor or another adult to go with you. If you and/or your parents tell a school official verbally, also do it in writing and keep a copy for yourself. If the first school official (like the principal) doesn’t respond, go to the school board or Superintendent to complain. The law says the school has to stop sexual harassment of a student whether the harasser is a teacher or another student(s), but the school is only required to stop the harassment if someone in authority at the school knows what is happening to you."
• Yes, it's awful that the responsibility always falls on you to report it. It's the bravest and hardest thing you can do, and no one blames you if you decide it's not for you. The steps you take are ultimately up to you. However, if you want to report it but you are scared to, there are people at this school who are willing to support you through it (including me).
• "Consult the school grievance policies and Title IX officer. Your school is supposed to have a policy against sexual harassment. Get a copy of the policy and read it. [Found within the School & District Policies Tab].The Title IX grievance policy may also give you a list of the types of behavior that the school considers to be sexual harassment. Find out from your school who the Title IX officer or coordinator is for your school or district. You should be able to ask him or her questions about how to complain, and what to expect during the complaint and investigation process."
• File a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education's Office of Civil Rights--must be within 180 days of an act of discrimination or harassment. See Legal Procedures for info.
• File a lawsuit against the school. Time limits for filing a lawsuit vary by state from 1 to 6 years. More details about this soon.

(https://www.equalrights.org/legal-help/know-your-rights/sexual-harassment-at-school/)