Falkor the Dragon Becomes a Plumber: A Funny Fantasy Story 

Fantasia had survived monsters, storms, mysterious darkness, and several kings who believed shouting was a form of leadership.

But nothing had prepared the kingdom for a leaking bathroom.

It began on a quiet Tuesday morning in the Royal Palace. A silver drop of water appeared on the ceiling above the throne. It trembled for a moment, fell directly into the king’s tea, and made a tiny plink.

The king looked into his cup.

“Was that supposed to happen?” he asked.

The ceiling answered by releasing six hundred gallons of water.

Within minutes, the throne room had become a swimming pool. Royal guards floated past on dining tables. The court wizard attempted a drying spell and accidentally turned all the curtains into towels. The king’s adviser climbed onto a chandelier and announced that the situation was “developing.”

It was developing into a lake.

Fantasia needed a plumber.

Unfortunately, it got Falkor.

Help Wanted: Plumber Must Be Able to Fly

The Royal Plumbing Guild refused to take the job.

“The leaking pipe is inside the highest tower,” explained the king.

“How high?” asked the head plumber.

“About three thousand feet.”

“Is there a staircase?”

“There was. It is currently a waterfall.”

The plumbers packed their tools and left.

The palace posted an emergency notice throughout the kingdom:

PLUMBER WANTED
Must be brave.
Must not be afraid of heights.
Must provide own transportation.
Previous plumbing experience preferred but apparently no longer required.

Falkor saw the notice while flying over the city.

He was a luckdragon: wise, optimistic, enormous, and completely unqualified to repair indoor plumbing.

Still, he had always enjoyed helping people.

“How difficult can it be?” Falkor said.

These are dangerous words in any profession. In plumbing, they are practically a curse.

Falkor’s First Day as a Plumber

The king met Falkor at the palace gates.

“You’re the plumber?” he asked.

“I’m the dragon,” Falkor replied cheerfully. “The plumber part begins today.”

The king stared at him.

“Do you have any experience?”

“I once flew over an aqueduct.”

“That isn’t plumbing experience.”

“I noticed it had water in it.”

“That is closer than anyone else has come, so you’re hired.”

The royal tailors quickly made Falkor a plumber’s uniform using six blue tents, three belts, and a tablecloth. They placed a tiny tool bag around his waist.

It looked adorable.

It was also useless.

Falkor picked up the wrench between two claws and squinted at it.

“Do you have this in dragon size?”

“That is our largest wrench,” said the king.

Falkor tried to turn the valve with it.

The wrench bent.

The valve did not.

The king wrote “purchase larger tools” on a piece of paper that immediately floated away.

The Problem Inside the Wall

Falkor pressed one ear against the wall.

Behind it, something hissed, rattled, and made a noise similar to a troll gargling soup.

“I believe I have found the pipe,” he said.

“Can you repair it?” asked the king.

“Probably.”

“Is ‘probably’ good?”

“It is better than ‘absolutely not.’”

Falkor gently tapped the wall with one claw.

The entire wall collapsed.

Behind it was a complicated network of golden pipes. Some went up. Some went down. Several went sideways before changing their minds. One pipe disappeared into a cupboard and came back wearing a decorative ribbon.

In the center was the source of the problem: an enormous purple pipe shaking violently.

A brass sign attached to it read:

MAIN ROYAL WATER PIPE
DO NOT TOUCH
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A DRAGON

Falkor read the sign twice.

Then he touched the pipe.

It exploded.

Repair Attempt Number One: The Wrench

A normal plumber would have turned off the water before beginning work.

Falkor did not know where the main valve was.

The king did not know either.

The palace architect had known, but he had retired 240 years earlier and left no forwarding address.

Falkor wrapped both front paws around the broken pipe and squeezed.

The leak stopped.

“We did it!” shouted the king.

Then water began pouring from Falkor’s ears.

“We have not done it,” Falkor admitted.

He reached for the tiny wrench, tried to tighten a joint, and accidentally pulled twelve feet of pipe out of the wall.

Somewhere below them, a toilet rang like a church bell.

The king looked worried.

“Is that normal?”

“In a castle this old,” said Falkor, “we should be grateful it didn’t start singing.”

The toilet began singing.

Repair Attempt Number Two: Dragon Fire

“Can’t you weld the pipe with dragon fire?” asked a guard.

Falkor sighed.

People always assumed every dragon could breathe fire.

“I am a luckdragon,” he explained. “I bring hope, courage, and good fortune. I do not normally function as industrial welding equipment.”

The king handed him a royal blowtorch.

“Could you learn?”

Falkor examined the flame.

“How difficult can it be?”

The court wizard immediately hid behind a bathtub.

Falkor carefully heated the damaged pipe. For three seconds, everything went perfectly.

On the fourth second, the pipe melted.

On the fifth, the nearby sink melted.

On the sixth, the royal bathtub slid through the floor and landed in the banquet hall.

A moment later, the king’s adviser called from downstairs.

“Good news! We found the bathtub.”

“Any bad news?” the king shouted.

“It found the soup.”

Repair Attempt Number Three: The Dragon-Sized Plumber’s Snake

By sunset, most of the palace was underwater.

Falkor studied the remaining pipework. The water wasn’t escaping because of a simple crack. Something was blocking the main drain and forcing water back through the system.

“What we need,” he said, “is a plumber’s snake.”

The king looked alarmed.

“We already have dragons. Now you want to introduce snakes?”

“A plumber’s snake is a tool.”

“Does it bite?”

“Only the pipe.”

No ordinary plumber’s snake was long enough for the palace plumbing, so Falkor volunteered his tail.

The guards wrapped a cleaning brush around the end. Falkor climbed onto the roof, lowered his tail into the main pipe, and began searching for the blockage.

“Anything?” called the king.

“A spoon.”

“Keep going.”

“A boot.”

“Keep going.”

“A golden crown.”

The king checked his head.

“I wondered where that went.”

Falkor pushed farther into the pipe. His tail struck something soft, heavy, and deeply unpleasant.

“I have found the blockage.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure. But it has been here long enough to qualify as a citizen.”

Falkor pulled.

The pipe groaned. The palace shook. Windows rattled throughout the kingdom.

Then the blockage shot out of the drain like a cannonball.

It contained thirty years of hair, soap, leaves, three rubber ducks, a suit of armor, and a very surprised goblin who had gone missing during a palace tour.

The goblin looked around.

“Is the gift shop still open?”

A Lucky Repair

With the blockage removed, water rushed through the pipes.

Unfortunately, it rushed in every direction at once.

Fountains erupted from the walls. Sinks spun in circles. A toilet launched itself from the west tower and flew across the courtyard like a porcelain comet.

Falkor leaped into the air.

He flew around the palace, following the maze of pipes from window to window. At the top of the eastern tower, hidden behind a portrait of the king looking unusually thin, he finally found the main valve.

It was stuck.

Falkor pulled it with his paws.

Nothing happened.

He pushed it with his nose.

Nothing happened.

He struck it with the royal wrench.

The wrench snapped in half.

At that exact moment, the flying toilet returned, bounced off Falkor’s tail, hit the valve, and turned it perfectly into the closed position.

The water stopped.

For several seconds, nobody spoke.

Then the king looked at Falkor.

“Was that skill?”

Falkor smiled.

“Let’s call it luck.”

Fantasia’s First Dragon Plumber

The following morning, the palace was wet but standing.

Mostly.

The throne room needed a new ceiling. The banquet hall needed a new soup. The western tower had moved several inches to the left, but the court wizard claimed this gave it “more personality.”

Most importantly, the royal plumbing worked again.

The king presented Falkor with a golden plunger.

“For courage, creativity, and causing less damage than we expected.”

“Thank you,” Falkor said. “Would you like my invoice?”

The king’s smile disappeared.

The invoice contained the following charges:

• Emergency flying fee

• Dragon-sized uniform fee

• Wrench replacement fee

• Tail cleaning fee

• Goblin removal fee

• Unexpected toilet aviation fee

• Emotional support for frightened pipes

• One new banquet soup

At the bottom, Falkor had added a note:

Payment accepted in gold, snacks, or public promises never to flush a suit of armor again.

The king paid in gold.

The guards applauded.

The goblin asked for directions to the gift shop.

Falkor never became Fantasia’s greatest plumber. He did, however, become its only plumber with air support—and the only one whose business card included the words:

Falkor’s Flying Plumbing Service
No tower too high.
No pipe too strange.
Results may involve luck.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Falkor a dragon?

Falkor is a luckdragon, a friendly fantasy creature known for optimism, wisdom, flight, and good fortune. In this humorous story, he attempts to add plumbing to that list of abilities.

Why does Falkor become a plumber?

Fantasia has a plumbing emergency in a tower ordinary plumbers cannot reach. Falkor owns no plumbing qualifications, but he does have wings and a dangerous amount of confidence.

Can Falkor breathe fire?

Falkor is not presented here as a traditional fire-breathing dragon. That is why the palace has to provide him with a blowtorch—with predictably unfortunate results.

Can a dragon work as a plumber?

A dragon can reach tall towers, move heavy pipes, and use its tail as a plumber’s snake. The disadvantages include oversized paws, undersized tools, and unusually expensive insurance.

Is this an official Falkor story?

No. This is an unofficial fan parody created for entertainment. It is not an official part of The NeverEnding Story.

What should you do if your castle starts flooding?

Turn off the main water valve and contact a qualified plumber. Contacting a dragon should remain a last resort.