https://www.safehorizon.org/programs/5-signs-emotional-abuse/
See the rest of her article at:
Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships don’t understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved. Many will dismiss or downplay emotional abuse because they don’t think it’s as bad as physical abuse, but this is a mistake. Emotional abuse has major consequences and it’s often hard to recognize. This form of abuse deteriorates a person’s self-esteem, independence, and dignity. Not only is it serious because it affects a person’s well-being and could turn fatal, but also because the person has been brainwashed to think that the behaviors are normal aspects of a relationship!
In the this informative article, onelove has defined the stages and signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. They are as follows:
If you recognize some or any of these behaviors in your partner or in your friends’ relationships, you should know that it is not in fact normal. These behaviors and stages are very commonly associated with an emotionally abusive relationship, and just because you are not being physically harmed, it doesn’t mean that the abuse isn’t taking its toll on your mental health.
Moreover, abusive relationships rarely start with physical violence. Instead, they start with the subtleties of an unhealthy and emotionally volatile relationship, which progressively worsen as the relationship continues. In time, emotional abuse can escalate in severity, turning from verbal attacks and mental manipulation to physical beatings and possibly even death.
Recognizing that these behaviors are unhealthy and abusive could help you or someone you know out of a dangerous relationship. If you or someone you know may be in an abusive situation, we highly encourage you to check out our real time resources. (taken from https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/emotional_abuse/ )
You may not realize that abusers feel powerless. They don’t act insecure to cover up the truth. In fact, they’re often bullies. The one thing they all have in common is that their motive is to have power over their victim. This is because they don’t feel that they have personal power, regardless of worldly success. To them, communication is a win-lose game. They often have the following personality profile:
Abusers will try to use excuses like past abuse against them as a justification for their own abuse, said Rhonda Stanford-Zahn, a therapist who primarily works with victims of sexual abuse.
https://www.learning-mind.com/coercive-control-manipulation/
Creating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.
Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:
Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind.
If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it’s important to think about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:
Even though you cannot change your partner, you can make changes in your own life to stay safe. Consider leaving your partner before the abuse gets worse. Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure to use our safety planning tips to stay safe. Remember, you have many options — including obtaining a domestic violence restraining order.Laws vary from state to state so chat with a peer advocate to learn more.
https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/unhealthy-relationship-behaviors-series-jealousy/
They are Hyper-Critical or Judgmental Towards You
It is human nature to critique or judge, but in emotionally abusive situations, someone takes it to the next level. This can look like someone is:
They Ignore Boundaries or Invade Your Privacy
We all have the right to our own space. Sometimes it can be tricky to distinguish between the rush and thrill of any new relationship or connection and a violation of your space because you may feel that you want to spend all of your time with this awesome person. This can look like your partner:
They are Possessive and/or Controlling
The abuser may try to restrict your behavior through unreasonable jealousy such as:
They are Manipulative
An emotionally abusive person may try many things to get you to do what they want or feel badly, such as:
They Often Dismiss You and Your Feelings
The abuser might try to play down your emotions or feelings by:
https://www.safehorizon.org/programs/5-signs-emotional-abuse/
by By Sherri Gordon
Feeling insulted and wounded. Never measuring up. Walking on eggshells. If these statements describe your relationship, it is likely you are being emotionally abused. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health. What's more, mental or emotional abuse, while most common in dating and married relationships, can occur in any relationship including among friends, family members, and coworkers.
Emotional abuse is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize. It can be subtle and insidious or overt and manipulative. Either way, it chips away at the victim's self-esteem and they begin to doubt their perceptions and reality.
The underlying goal in emotional abuse is to control the victim by discrediting, isolating, and silencing.
In the end, the victim feels trapped. They are often too wounded to endure the relationship any longer, but also too afraid to leave. So the cycle just repeats itself until something is done.
When emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, a victim may lose their entire sense of self, sometimes without a single mark or bruise. Instead, the wounds are invisible to others, hidden in the self-doubt, worthlessness and self-loathing the victim feels. In fact, many victims say that the scars from emotional abuse last far longer and are much deeper than those from physical abuse.
Over time, the accusations, verbal abuse, name-calling, criticisms, and gaslighting erode a victim's sense of self so much that they can no longer see themselves realistically. Consequently, the victim begins to agree with the abuser and becomes internally critical. Once this happens, most victims become trapped in the abusive relationship believing that they will never be good enough for anyone else.
Emotional abuse can even impact friendships because emotionally abused people often worry about how people truly see them and if they truly like them. Eventually, victims will pull back from friendships and isolate themselves, convinced that no one likes them. What's more, emotional abuse can cause a number of health problems including everything from depression and anxiety to stomach ulcers, heart palpitations, eating disorders, and insomnia.
When examining your own relationship, remember that emotional abuse is often subtle. As a result, it can be very hard to detect.
If you are having trouble discerning whether or not your relationship is abusive, stop and think about how the interactions with your partner, friend or family member make you feel. If you feel wounded, frustrated, confused, misunderstood, depressed, anxious or worthless any time you interact, chances are high that your relationship is emotionally abusive.
Here are signs that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Keep in mind, even if your partner only does a handful of these things, you are still in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Do not fall into the trap of telling yourself "it's not that bad" and minimizing their behavior. Remember, everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.
Emotionally abusive people display unrealistic expectations. Some examples include:
Emotionally abusive people invalidate you. Some examples include:
Emotionally abusive people create chaos. Some examples include:
Emotionally abusive people use emotional blackmail. Some examples include:
Emotionally abusive people act superior and entitled. Some examples include:
Emotionally abusive people attempt to isolate and control you. Some examples include:
If you suspect your partner, family member or friend may be emotionally abusing you, contact a counselor, an advocate or a pastor for assistance. You also can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or visit their website thehotline.org and chat online with someone right away.
See full article at: https://www.verywellmind.com/identify-and-cope-with-emotional-abuse-4156673