Discussion questions:
Why do you think gossip and backbiting are so common in society today?
Why might the following be true or false?
When we talk about someone’s real faults, we are not backbiting.
When we talk about a person’s praiseworthy qualities and his faults at the same time, we are not backbiting.
If we are willing to criticize someone to their face, it is not backbiting when we do so in their absence.
If the listener promises not to repeat what we say about another person, there is no harm in backbiting.
Speaking ill of politicians or celebrities is not backbiting because we do not know the individual personally.
What could we do when a friend or group of friends starts to talk about another person’s faults?How does equality between women and men transcend personal attitudes and have to do with “the organization of every aspect of human society”?
Perspectives for consideration:
Backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul.
The most hateful characteristic of man is fault-finding. One must expose the praiseworthy qualities of the souls and not their evil attributes. The friends must overlook their shortcomings and faults and speak only of their virtues and not their defects.
One must see in every human being only that which is worthy of praise. When this is done, one can be a friend to the whole human race. If, however, we look at people from the standpoint of their faults, then being a friend to them is a formidable task.
It is related that His Holiness Christ … one day, accompanied by His apostles, passed by the corpse of a dead animal. One of them said: 'How putrid has this animal become!' The other exclaimed: 'How it is deformed!' A third cried out: 'What a stench! How cadaverous looking!' but His Holiness Christ said: "Look at its teeth! how white they are!' Consider, that He did not look at all at the defects of that animal; nay, rather, He searched well until He found the beautiful white teeth…This is the attribute of the children of the Kingdom. This is the conduct and the manner of the real Bahá’ís.
Each of us is responsible for one life only, and that is our own. Each of us is immeasurably far from being 'perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect' and the task of perfecting our own life and character is one that requires all our attention, our will-power and energy. If we allow our attention and energy to be taken up in efforts to keep others right and remedy their faults, we are wasting precious time. We are like ploughmen each of whom has his team to manage and his plough to direct, and in order to keep his furrow straight he must keep his eye on his goal and concentrate on his own task. If he looks to this side and that to see how Tom and Harry are getting on and to criticise their ploughing, then his own furrow will assuredly become crooked.
It is obvious that if we listen to those who complain to us about the faults of others we are guilty of complicity in their backbiting. We should therefore, as tactfully as possible, but yet firmly, do our utmost to prevent others from making accusations or complaints against others in our presence.
Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness.