Vivaan's Fears

Vivaan is troubled. Overcoming obstacles has never been difficult for him; in fact, he's known for being exceptionally talented at slaying any problem with apparent ease, like his namesake, Lord Krishna. However, a seed of growing unease about the future took root in the pit of his stomach and began to flower. Vivaan's fear of this looming unconquerable challenge never fully leaves his subconscious, but he still cannot think of what the challenge might be or what he can do to prepare himself to face it.

Vivaan has spent his entire life confident in his abilities, so experiencing any doubt at all that he will inevitably overcome all future obstacles obviously rattles him. His fear of the unknown causes him to grow more and more distracted from his day-to-day activities. He also starts to worry every opportunity he encounters could lead to an insurmountable task and avoids them. He always tells himself that he can try later once he knows, for sure, how to succeed. Acknowledging he needs help Vivaan asks for the advice of an older mentor who is more experienced in life and has helped him many times in the past.

The advice Vivaan received from his mentor was to take some time for self-reflection to find the tools he will need to face future challenges and dispel his feelings of uncertainty.

Vivaan thinks about his mentor's advice while eating a small snack of aam papad, a mango fruit leather, and dried banana chips. He does not see how self-reflection could possibly be enough to prepare him to face the fear and uncertainty that has spooked him so deeply but decides to give it a shot.

Kneeling comfortably in front of an earthen vase of crocus and lotus blossoms, Vivaan closes his eyes and begins to meditate. Vivaan continues his meditation for what feels like an eternity to him until he is suddenly overcome with an intense hunger. It is as if his mind has been placed into the body of another person entirely. He is an observer in someone else's mind, sharing their senses and emotions, but he has no control over this strange body.

Looking out through the eyes of this foreign body, he sees he is wearing the traditional garb of a Kirata huntsman from the distant past. Then he sees "his" family. Vivaan may have never seen them before, but while they share the same body and mind the huntsman's feelings and memories are as clear as his own. His wife and daughter look as hungry as he feels, and he knows it is his duty to provide food for them. As he reaches for his bow a familiar fear pulls at his stomach anchoring him to the floor. He has no idea if he will be successful and bring back a meal for his family, and they look so hungry. They all need him to succeed. Vivaan thinks, "Maybe I should take some time to sharpen my arrows and rest my tired muscles; that will surely increase my odds of success." But Vivaan is not in control of this body, and the huntsman resolutely grasps his bow breaking the chain of fear tying him to the floor and beginning the hunt.

With that, Vivaan begins to feel the fabric of his pants beneath his fingertips, and as he opens his eyes the lotus blossom comes into focus looking even more vibrant than before. As the world comes back into view around him, Vivaan realizes that his mentor's advice was exactly what he needed. He now knew that the challenge he feared was not looming in the future. In fact, he is already fully embroiled in it, and he realizes vanquishing it takes nothing more than facing the uncertainty of the future and moving resolutely ahead.

Author's Note:

I based this story off of "Arjuna and Shiva." In this episode Yudhishthira is told that Arjuna can gain the power to overcome any foe by heading to the mountains to worship Shiva who will visit and give him the power he needs. Arjuna goes to the mountains and performs the necessary rituals. One day a boar rushes out of the trees and just as Arjuna fires an arrow at it a hunter just as powerful does the same. Arjuna challenges the hunter who turns out to be Shiva. Shiva gives Arjuna Gandiva, the divine bow, and leaves.

I chose to tell the story of Vivaan who goes on a mental journey inspired by Arjuna's journey. In Vivaan journey he learns to overcome the fear of failure by experiencing a vision of a huntsman who cannot be held back by uncertainty or self-doubt because he has to feed his family. Vivaan, like Arjuna, is very skilled, but suddenly finds himself so scared of not being able to overcome some obstacle in the future that he avoids anything he can fail. He goes on a journey to find a way to overcome his fear that is reminiscent of the legendary Arjuna's path to receiving Gandiva. To tie my story back to the original I tried to work in parts of the epic throughout like the advice of an older figure putting him on his path, eating fallen (dried) fruit, kneeling before flowers and a clay statue before his vision, and the huntsman and his bow.

I wanted this to be a story about the fear of uncertainty and of failure that everyone experiences at some point. I wanted to portray how it can feel and how the only way to overcome it is to face it.

Bibliography. "Arjuna and Shiva" from Myths of the Hindus and Buddhists by Sister Nivedita. Source.

Image Source. "Arjuna fights with Shiva" by Ramanarayanadatta astri [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons