This play explores the nuances and, fittingly, “imperfections” of love and relationships. I do not claim to know everything about love, I don’t think that anyone does. However, I do claim to have been in love, and that is something that many people can relate to.
When I started writing this play, I wanted to write something real. I wanted to write about the love that we see around us every day. Yes, I wrote myself into many aspects of these characters, and the feelings that the characters feel, are ones that I’ve personally felt over the years. But these feelings, these experiences, are things that we all share as humanity. Love transcends barriers like time and language. Feelings and emotions are what make us human. And that cannot be replicated by any machine or chatbot. They are what connect us.
This play is about more than just love, it is about connection, and finding yourself through the messiness of connecting with people. Your individuality is as much yours as it is the people who surround you. I have certainly discovered more about myself in the past eight months I have spent writing this, and I hope that you, the reader, can discover something about yourself too.
-M.
Imperfections
Max Abarientos
(A man and a woman sit at a table in the far corner of a Starbucks. The sun is setting outside and the store is slightly busier than usual. It is April, the beginning of spring. The air is filled with optimism and love, as customers rush in and out of the store, picking up their post-workday mobile orders. There are teenagers studying at a table nearby. The man, about 21 years old, is holding a pink drink with strawberries. The woman holds a steaming cup of coffee. Her stoicism makes her hard to read.)
Art: I have someone new now.
Penelope: I saw.
Art: Does that hurt you?
Penelope: In some ways, yes. But in others, no.
Art: Does it hurt to see me happy with somebody that isn’t you?
Penelope: Why are you asking me this?
Art (angrily): Just answer the question— (he takes a breath) Please.
Penelope: Truthfully, no. (ART looks away for a moment) I know that’s not the answer you wanted to hear. But it is the truth. I loved you once. There was a time in my life when all I ever wanted was to see you happy. Now that we are over and I can see that you are happy with someone else, I am not upset or hurt or jealous. You are happy. It doesn’t matter whether it’s with me or not.
Art: So you aren’t mad at me for moving on?
Penelope: Why would I be? I broke your heart. I don’t blame you for finding someone who didn’t.
Art: Oh.
Penelope: You seem disappointed.
Art: I’m not.
Penelope: Did you want me to be mad?
Art: No.
Penelope: Did you want me to stalk your instagram story, or ask our mutual friends how you’ve been? Did you want me to sit here with you today and beg for you to give me another chance? When you told me you were seeing someone, did you want me to ask how pretty she is? Or where you met? Because to be honest, Art, I don’t really care.
Art: No that’s not it.
Penelope: Then what is it then? Did you want me to tell you that it stings to see you walk around town with some other girl? That I can’t bear to go to our spots anymore because they remind me of you? I’ll have you know, I still get coffee at Joanne’s every Monday, and I have been ever since we broke up. I still wear those socks you got me, not because you got them for me, but because I needed a pair of socks.
Art: No, Pen. I just— I wanted you to feel how I felt. I wanted you to hurt the way you hurt me. A part of me wished that you would see me with her and you would feel all the feelings I felt when you broke up with me out of nowhere.
(PENELOPE takes a pause and sips her drink)
Penelope: Art, I did hurt. I was in pain and agony for months. I went to bed with tears staining my pillowcase nearly every night. I begged and cried for the pain and heartache to leave my body for months. But it wasn’t when I saw you with someone else. It was while we were dating.
Art: What?
Penelope: I fell out of love with you a long time before we broke up. I felt it first during spring break freshman year, then again, over the summer when I was planning my trip. Those nights when we couldn’t make time for each other and loved the other in silence. I felt myself slipping.
Art: But if you had told me then—
Penelope (interrupting): I pushed those feelings aside. I said "We might just be at a low right now, I just need to hold on and things will get better.” So I stayed. But I was becoming annoyed with small things. I hated when you cursed at the wall when you stubbed your toe. I hated when you made your terrible lasagna for dinner. I hated when you would come over to my dorm with mountains of homework and leave it on the table. And then Christmas came. I began to hate your family. I hated that your brother was so loud about his bigotry and I hated how your mom never defended herself from your father. I hated your uncle. I hated everything about you for no reason. And going away to London after all of that, I just… didn’t feel the same anymore.
Art: I know my family can be awful but we could have talked about it! We could have left the party early if you hated it that much.
Penelope: But we didn’t. Because I didn’t tell you. I never told you. I never told you how much I hated you because like I said before, all I wanted was to see you happy, and telling you how much I hate you would certainly not make you happy.
Art: So instead you lied to me for five more months?
Penelope: Yes. I did. I lied. I lied and I suffered in silence and pain and agony and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I left.
Art: And you decided to put me through all of that pain and agony with no explanation.
Penelope: We are both flawed people, Art. I don’t know how to handle my hatred. I don’t know how to love. You seek attention and a resolution to all of your problems. You cannot be comfortable in uncomfortable silence. (she pauses) Why did you invite me here today?
Art: I wanted closure.
Penelope: Why?
Art: To make myself feel better, I guess?
Penelope: Did this make you feel better? Did this conversation ease your conscience?
Art: Honestly, no. This makes me feel worse.
Penelope: And when you go back home to your girlfriend, you are going to tell her that it didn’t go as you hoped it would and you will ask her to watch The Breakfast Club with you while you drink hot chocolate and ease your wounds.
Art: How would you know?
Penelope: Because I know you.
Art: You don’t know me. You haven’t known me for a year. I am a completely different person now.
Penelope: As different as you are, you are still Art. You still love old movies and jazz and you still text your mom when something good happens. You still order a strawberry acai with light ice at Starbucks, and you still think about me.
Art: You don’t know that.
Penelope: If you didn’t still think about me, we wouldn’t be here right now. If you weren’t yearning for your so-called “closure” we wouldn’t be sitting in a Starbucks across the street from our first date spot, and you wouldn’t be drinking a strawberry acai with light ice at the table farthest from the west window because you know my left side looks better in the golden hour light. You still think about me and that is okay. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t still think about you.
Art: Are you still in love with me?
Penelope: I think we both know by now that I haven’t been in love with you for a long time. And I highly doubt that you are still in love with me.
Art: No I am not.
Penelope: So I ask you again, Art. Why did you ask me to meet you here today?
Art: Because of everything you said. I am sentimental and I hold onto things. I look for closure when the door has already been locked shut. I refuse to be comfortable in uncomfortable silence.
(PENELOPE pauses to take a sip of her drink. She does not look at ART and only stares at the table.)
Penelope (without looking up): Do you regret this conversation?
Art: Not in the slightest.
Penelope: Will we have another one like it?
Art: No. I don’t think so. Maybe I’ll see you in town, we’ll make eye contact and I’ll wave and you’ll wave back. When we’re older, maybe our kids will go to preschool together and we’ll chat at the drop off area before being told that we can’t park in the unloading area. Maybe I’ll hear your father passed and I’ll text you and tell you how sorry I am and how good of a man he was, even though he really isn’t that great of a man. Maybe we will never see each other again after this. Maybe this is goodbye.
(PENELOPE finally glances upward and makes eye contact with ART. She shows no sense of sadness or regret.)
Penelope: So is that what this was? A goodbye?
Art: Yeah. I think this is goodbye.
(They both get up from the table and head to the door. They walk out of the coffee shop and wait under the awning as PENELOPE digs through her bag for her car keys.)
Penelope: So do you feel better?
Art: Not in the slightest?
Penelope: Got any plans for the rest of the day?
Art: I think I’m going to go home and watch “The Breakfast Club”. Maybe drink some hot chocolate.
Penelope: Tell Claire I say hi.
Art: I won’t.
Penelope: I know you won’t.
(PENELOPE exits. ART lingers for a moment. He thinks about leaving but then turns around and goes back inside. He pulls out his cell phone and dials a number.)
Art: Hey babe! No, it didn’t really go as I’d hoped. I’m on my way home now though. Do you want me to order you something from Starbucks? (There’s a pause) Okay I’ll be home in ten. Love you! (He hangs up and turns to the cashier) Hi, I’ll just get a venti matcha latte and… you know what? I’ll take another grande strawberry acai with light ice.
(blackout)
(It is February. Two men are walking through the mall, one with a pretzel in his hand, the other with a shopping bag with a guitar center logo on it. The man with the pretzel in his hand is NICO, he is tall, early twenties, dark hair that is hidden underneath a baseball cap. ALEX is shorter, wears round glasses, and more fashionable than NICO, but only because he has more money than him. The mall isn’t too busy for a Thursday afternoon so they take a seat by the fountain.)
Nico: Hey, thanks again for buying that guitar case for me. I really appreciate it.
Alex: No problem man, anything for my best friend.
Nico: Don’t let Art hear you saying that.
Alex (scoffing): Please, ever since he started hanging out with Claire, it’s like we don’t exist to him. At least when he was with Penny, we could all hang out together and it felt like one big friend group. Me, you, David, Stacy, and of course, Art and Penny.
Nico: Jesus, don’t let him hear that either.
Alex: I’m just saying, I kind of miss it. Well not David, I don’t miss him. God, what an asshole.
Nico: Yeah fuck that guy, I still can’t believe he tried to leak your nudes.
Alex: Transphobic prick. Just because I don’t have a dick, doesn’t mean you have to tell all your friends about it.
Nico: Yeah, I’m glad that’s over. I’m also glad Art has found someone new that makes him happy. It’s like a fresh start.
Alex: Speaking of fresh starts, are you seeing anybody?
Nico (flatly): No.
Alex: I’m inclined not to believe you.
Nico: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Alex: C’mon man you’re always so secretive about this stuff. I’m your best friend, you can tell me when you fall in love.
Nico: I do not fall “in love” with anyone. Besides, that’s the truth anyway. I’ve gone on a couple Hinge dates, but no luck. All the girls on there just want a quick hookup and honestly I’m just looking for something real.
Alex: You’re looking for love.
Nico (shrugging): Fine, yeah I’m looking for love.
Alex: Just go to a Barnes and Noble and pretend to look confused in the romance section. That’ll attract some pretty girls for sure.
Nico: I don’t think that’s what I’m looking for.
Alex: Then what are you looking for? (realizing) Oh god, Nico… are you finally… coming out?
Nico: What?
Alex (putting his hand on NICO’s shoulder): I accept you for who you are and the fact that you like boys.
Nico: I don’t like boys.
Alex (shrugging): Fair enough. Boys are gross.
Nico: You like boys…
Alex: Yeah, just because I’m gay, that doesn’t mean boys aren’t gross.
(STACY enters, quickly walking towards the boys while typing on her phone. She is tall, blonde, and wearing heels that make her even taller. Without noticing them, she accidentally bumps into the fountain and drops her phone in.)
Stacy: Shit!
Alex (jumping up): Woah! Hey Stace! Looks like you dropped something.
Stacy (rolling her eyes): Yeah, Alex, I can see that. (she hesitantly dips her hand in the water to retrieve her phone) Ew, ew, ew. That’s so gross.
Alex: You know what else is gross-
Nico (cutting him off): I got it.
(He dunks his hand in the fountain and grabs the phone. He shakes it dry and presses the button on the side. The phone lights up)
Nico: Hey, it still turns on. (he hands it back to STACY) Pretty lucky, huh.
Stacy: Yeah, I got the new waterproof model because I dropped my last phone in…
Nico: Let me guess, the ocean?
Stacy: A lake, actually. But I bought this one all by myself with the money I earned from working at Olive Garden.
Nico: Wow, proud of you. No more daddy’s money?
Stacy (laughing): He kind of cut me off after I spent eight-hundred dollars at the karaoke bar.
Alex: Eight-hundred?!
Stacy: It was bottle service! (NICO raises his eyebrows) And also my birthday!
Alex (feigning offense): And I wasn’t invited?
Stacy: You aren’t twenty-one yet, dumbass. My birthday was in January. Besides, they scan cards.
Alex (taking real offense): I can’t believe you didn’t have faith in me to have a fake that scans! (he gets up dramatically) I’m going to get another pretzel! Nico, let’s go.
Nico (holding up his half-eaten pretzel): I’m good with this one. I’ll meet you in a sec. (ALEX exits hurriedly)
Stacy (wiping down her phone): I haven’t seen you in a while, how have you been?
Nico: I’ve been good. Just focusing on graduating.
Stacy: Seeing anybody?
Nico: God, why is everybody so obsessed with asking me that?
Stacy: I don’t know, it’s all anybody really cares about these days. (NICO shrugs) So I’ll take it that means you’re single.
Nico (sighing): Yes, I am.
Stacy: Great! So am I. Let's get drinks on Friday.
Nico (taken aback): Woah, Stacy don’t do this. I can’t-
Stacy: Yes, you can.
Nico: Why?
Stacy: Because I’m telling you that you can.
Nico: This is so sudden. We haven’t spoken in months.
Stacy: Which is exactly why we need to get drinks! Let’s catch up! How about eight? I have evening pilates with Penny at five. (she goes to reach for her phone)
Nico (pushing the phone down): Stacy, why are you doing this?
Stacy: Doing what?
Nico: This! Asking me to get drinks on a Friday night, after not speaking for months! Seemingly out of nowhere? We both know where this is going to end up and I can’t do this again.
Stacy (taking a deep breath): Nico, I am asking you to get drinks on Friday because I have romantic feelings for you and would like to ask you on a date. I don’t know how I can be any more clear.
Nico (stuttering): I… You what?
Stacy (smiling): Is there a problem? Do you not feel the same way? Because if you don’t, then I’m happy to get drinks with Penny instead. Although I think she’s doing “Dry January” so I don’t know how well that is going to go for me. At least I’ll have someone to drive me if she is-
Nico: Stacy, I’m not going to be your Friday Night Boy again.
Stacy (taking his hand): I don’t want you to be, Nico. I want you to be my Saturday Morning Boy, my Sunday Brunch Boy, my Taco Tuesday Boy. I want to see you not just at night. I want to stop by your dorm and bring you flowers. I want to go to the aquarium again with you. I want to hold your hand in public. (she takes his other hand) Unfortunately… Friday night is the only night I’m free this week.
Nico (laughing): Alright fine, I grab drinks with you on Friday. But that’s it. Maybe if you’re lucky we can get brunch on Sunday.
Stacy: Deal. (she suddenly wraps him into a hug)
Nico (slightly resisting): Here? There’s so many people around. (STACY digs her face into his shirt)
Stacy: I know.
(NICO wraps his arms around STACY and they stay like that for a moment. Eventually NICO pulls away but keeps his arms around her.)
Nico: Wait, how did you know I would say yes?
Stacy: I didn’t.
Nico: So you dropped your new phone in the fountain on purpose on the very slim chance that I would say yes to going on a date with you?
Stacy: How did you know it was on purpose?
Nico: Oh please, I’ve seen you shotgun a beer while texting. I know you wouldn’t trip over a giant fountain if there wasn’t a reason.
Stacy (shrugging): Maybe I just missed you.
Nico: Don’t get too ahead of yourself “Miss Romantic Feelings” I only said yes to drinks, nothing else.
(ALEX enters holding a half-eaten pretzel and a large soda.)
Alex: Hey, so bad news, they were out of pretzel bites- Woah!
(STACY pulls NICO into a passionate kiss in front of ALEX. He kisses her back and pulls her in while she runs her fingers through his hair. After a moment, they pull away from each other, smiling.)
Stacy: Was that romantic enough for you, Romeo?
Nico: Yes, yes it was.
Alex (after a beat): How long was I in that line for?
(blackout)
(It is December. A group of boys enter a room with red solo cups in their hands. The cold air has brought them inside after a long day of ice skating. The walls of the room are lined with hockey sticks and empty beer cans. NICO holds a plate half filled with curly fries. ALEX and ART are arguing silently until they reach the bottom of the staircase.)
Alex: Why are you doing this?
Art: Doing what?
Alex: You keep giving yourself ultimatums. “If we are still together by this, if I’m still not ready by then…” It’s unhealthy.
Nico: Yeah man, if you keep waiting for a reason to talk to her, you are never going to be able to go through with it.
Art: Because I’m not ready for—
Nico (standing up): See, there it is! What aren’t you ready for? Why aren’t you ready?
Art (standing up to face NICO at his level): Because I’m just not, okay? I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready to face what might happen if—
Alex: If she doesn’t respond? If she does respond? If she’s blocked you?
Art: Yeah! What if she doesn’t want to ever speak to me again?
Nico: I mean, to her credit; why would she?
Art: What do you mean?
Nico: The way she ghosted you, I mean, you kind of deserved it.
Alex: Well, I mean she was also being an asshole to him.
Nico (sitting back down): Two sides of the same asshole coin, my friend.
Art (shooing them): Point is, I’m going to wait until our anniversary.
Alex: Art, that might be the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
Nico: What anniversary? You broke up seven months ago!
Art: Well it would have been our 3 years, you know, had we stayed together. (He slumps into the couch.)
Nico: But you didn’t! That date should be meaningless now.
Alex: Ah, but it’s not!
Art: Well, no. But—
Nico: I think he’s still not over the breakup.
Art: Yes, I am.
Alex: No, you aren’t.
Nico: If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be planning to text her on your hypothetical three year anniversary, for what? Closure?
(ART pauses and takes a drink from his cup. He doesn’t look sad, but his eyes wander off into the distance. Faint jazz music can be heard in the silence. After a few seconds, ART continues the conversation.)
Art: I don’t know, okay. I don’t know why. This is just something I need to do.
Alex: If you needed to do it, why not do it right now? Take your phone out and text her right now?
Art: Because I told you, I’m not ready yet.
Nico: Annnnd, we’re back here.
Art: You guys are not helping.
Alex: If you had such a burning desire to rekindle your friendship with her, what on earth is stopping you from “being ready” to do it now?
(ART takes a big gulp and finishes his drink. He pushes his hair out of his face, a tic he has whenever he gets frustrated. ALEX and NICO exchange worried looks.)
Art: I don’t know.
Nico: He’s scared.
Alex: I agree.
Art: What? I’m not scared.
Nico: You are afraid of leaving the void.
Art: The void?
Nico: That weird in-between where you don’t know if she hates you or she doesn’t. And you are afraid of what might happen if you find out.
Alex: It’s like Schrodinger’s Cat. The cat is both dead and alive so long as you don’t open the box.
Nico: Penny both hates you and doesn’t hate you, so long as you never send that text.
Art: I guess.
Nico: You don’t want to know if the cat is dead or not.
Alex: You can’t handle the idea of the box being closed forever.
Art: So what if I can’t handle it? Is it so wrong of me to want to open the box? Does that make me a bad person?
Alex: I think it makes you a whiny, insecure, bitch. That’s just my opinion though.
Nico: Hey. You can’t call people bitches.
Alex: My bad. (He pulls a half-full, glass jar out from behind the couch labelled “Bitch Jar” and drops a penny in it.)
Nico: We’re still using the “Bitch Jar?”
Alex: I don’t know, I thought it would be a fun way to… oh.
Art: See! You guys aren’t over her either! You still put pennies in the jar for my ex girlfriend’s Starbucks runs! She is still a part of your lives as much as she is mine.
Nico: I don’t think that’s how that works.
Alex (gently putting his hand on ART): Art, you’re the one that dated her. You’re the one that fell in love with her and got your heart broken by her. You are the one that needs to figure out his feelings. We just bought the girl her Starbucks.
Art: Fine.
Nico: Hey, it’s okay to want to open the box. Your issue is that you physically cannot live without opening it.
Art: I don’t know what to do.
Alex: Make a choice. Open the box, or leave it closed. But Artemus, (ART cringes at his full name) if you choose to leave it closed, leave it closed for good. You have to learn to be comfortable in the uncomfortable silence.
Art: What if I choose to open it?
Nico: Then it’s open. The cat is either dead or it’s alive. There’s no shame in taking the risk. Do you want the cat to be alive?
Art: Yes, I really do.
Alex: Are you still in love with her?
Art: No.
Nico: Then why do you want the cat to be alive?
Art: Because I want to know that somebody I loved once doesn’t hate me as much as I think they do. I’m afraid of opening the box because when I opened it the first time, the cat was alive. But the second time, it wasn’t. Those are 50/50 odds. I’m afraid of it changing.
Alex: So that’s your issue then, you’re afraid of change.
Art: Isn’t everyone?
Nico: In some ways.
Alex: In order to get over that fear, you gotta make a choice. And once it’s made, you gotta stick with it.
Art: I know, I know. (he takes out his cell phone)
Nico: Are you going to do it?
(ART pauses and scrolls through his contacts. NICO and ALEX lean over to look at his screen in anticipation.)
Art: No, I think I’ll wait a bit.
Nico: God damn it!
Alex: We can never win with you!
Art: Look, okay. Hear me out-
Nico (standing up): No, we don’t want to hear you out.
Alex (following suit): I’m sick of this, I’m going to go make more curly fries.
Nico: I can’t believe him.
Art: Guys wait!
Alex: We try to help him and he just ignores our advice. Just like always.
Art (urgently): I’m seeing someone!
(NICO and ALEX stop dead on the staircase.)
Nico: When were you going to tell us this?
Alex: Is she hot?
Art: Her name is Claire. She works at the Cold Stone across from the gym. I thought she was pretty, so I asked her on a date.
Alex: Good for you man!
Nico: Ah so you don’t want to talk to Penny because you want to see where this thing with Claire goes.
Art: Yeah, I don’t want to freak her out, you know. Like I can’t lead with “Hey, I’m in a dilemma about opening a metaphorical box with a dead or not dead cat inside, aka I can’t decide if I want to break no contact with my ex,” on the first date.
Alex: I say, go on that date. Kiss a pretty girl.
Art: Really?
Alex: The easiest way to heal an open wound is to flush and clean it with soap and water.
Art: What does that have to do with anything?
Alex: The only way you will ever truly get over Penny is if you start dating again. Don’t live in the past. Find new people to explore and figure out what you want from a relationship.
Nico: Yeah, you deserve to get back out there again.
Art: Thanks guys.
Alex: Anytime.
Nico: Just use protection!
Art: Nico! No!
Nico: I’m just saying. (he shrugs)
Art (getting up): I’m going to make more curly fries. (He exits, grabbing the tray of fries.)
Alex: Wait up! I call dibs on the big ones!
(ALEX and NICO exit stage left as the lights dim and the music fades.)
(It is May in New York. The sound of a bustling airport surrounds PENELOPE as she stands center-stage holding two suitcases and a backpack. Her heartbeat starts quiet but gets louder and louder when suddenly ART scoops her up into a hug, and it stops abruptly. She doesn’t hug him back, only lets herself be held by him.)
Art: I missed you so much honey! (He sets her down)
Penelope: I missed you too. (She reaches into her backpack and pulls out a CD) I got you something!
(ART takes the CD case and looks at the cover sadly.)
Art: Oh thank you Penny, but I already have this album.
Penelope (slightly disappointed): Really?
Art: Yeah, I bought it the night it came out. Nico and I went to a local show at a record store and I decided to pick it up since I was already there. I’m sorry, I thought I told you.
Penelope: Oh, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. Now you have two, in case something happens to the first one.
Art: You’re right. (he grabs her hand and they begin walking) Let’s get out of here. I finally moved my stuff back home from the dorms and I’m ready to start apartment hunting next week. I can’t believe we are finally going to be living together after all these years!
Penelope (sadly): You’re pretty excited about that.
Art (looking back at her): I am. Are you… not excited? Because we can wait a while. I know we’ve been planning for like forever, but I’ll wait for you to be ready.
(PENELOPE nods silently and the two of them push through the crowd. Eventually they step onto a surprisingly empty subway car and sit down.)
Art: You aren’t saying anything. How was the flight?
Penelope: It was good.
Art: Did you sleep at all?
Penelope: I took a nap.
Art: Did you watch any good movies? I feel like I always watch the best movies when I’m on a plane. When we flew to Florida-
Penelope (suddenly): I want to break up.
Art: What?
Penelope: I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do… us anymore. I’m sorry.
Art: Why? Was it something I did?
Penelope: No, no. You’re amazing and perfect. You didn’t do anything.
Art (tears falling from his eyes): Was it something… you did?
Penelope: No. I didn’t cheat on you. If that’s what you’re implying.
Art: Are you lying?
Penelope: I am not.
Art: Then if I didn’t do anything and you didn’t do anything, why are we breaking up? I don’t understand-
Penelope (crying now): I don’t understand it either but all I know is that I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore. I just can’t do it. It’s all I could think about on the flight here. I kept trying to talk myself out of it because I love you, but the second I saw you-
Art: I love you! I love you and everything that you are. And if you love me, why are we breaking up?
Penelope: Because we have to, Art. I can’t- I can’t keep feeling like this. As much as I love you, I am not good for you.
Art: You are not the person that gets to decide what’s good for me. That is my choice and my choice alone. And I choose you. I don’t care if you aren’t good for me. I promised I would choose you over and over again because I love you. (he holds PENELOPE’s face in his hands)
Penelope: That’s the problem! You need to choose yourself. And I… (she stops to wipe her tears with her sleeve before ART can wipe them for her) I need to choose myself.
(They stare at each other in silence. The train slows and PENELOPE gathers her bags and holds the railing. When it stops she steps off the subway, leaving ART sitting alone in an empty train car.)
Penelope: I’m sorry, Art.
(The train doors close. The train begins to move again.)
Art (to nobody): I forgive you.
(blackout)
(It is January again, but instead of beer cans and hockey sticks, ART’s room is lined with posters and love letters. His collection of baseball cards has been replaced with stuffed plushies and handmade flowers. In London, PENELOPE’s dorm room is barren and sad. There is a flower pot and a glass of water on her bedside table. PENELOPE and ART enter and sit on their beds. Both take out their phones from their pockets. ART dials a number. PENELOPE lets it ring for about seven seconds before picking up. She sighs.)
Penelope (feigning a smile): Hi honey, what’s up?
Art: How’s London? I miss you!
Penelope: It’s great! I’m having a lot of fun. I just got home.
Art: I know you’ve only been gone for a week, but this has felt like the longest seven days of my life.
Penelope: I know, me too.
Art: How are the classes going? Did you make any new friends?
Penelope: I just started classes on Monday. Math has been going pretty well, but biology is kicking my ass. It’s okay though because they assigned a student named Avery to show me around campus and stuff. I still find it strange that I have to wear a skirt and a tie every day, but I’ll get through it.
Art: That’s awesome that you made a friend! Is she in any of your classes with you?
Penelope: Actually, he is in my music appreciation class. We listen to songs and talk about them.
Art: Avery is a boy?
Penelope: Is that a problem?
Art (shaking his head): No, no not at all. I’m just glad that you are making friends.
(PENELOPE and ART sit in silence for a few seconds. PENELOPE checks her watch while ART fixes his hair, using his phone as a mirror.)
Penelope: It’s about three o-clock over there, did you just get back from class?
Art: Yeah, me and the boys are going out later tonight to see a local band at the record store on Court Street.
Penelope: On a Thursday?
Art: Well Nico has rehearsal on Friday and tonight is the only night they are playing. They’re called Newfoundland Pickle.
Penelope: That’s the stupidest band name I’ve ever heard of.
Art: Well I think that they are great. Maybe when you come home after this semester, I’ll take you to one of their shows.
Penelope: I think I’m going to have to pass on that.
(ART sets his phone on his bed and opens up his laptop to do work. PENELOPE glances nervously around the room while ART types on his computer.)
Penelope: Hey, I need to talk to you about something.
Art: One second, let me finish writing this email to my advisor.
Penelope: Okay.
(She also sets her phone on her bed and takes out a book from her backpack on the floor. She opens it up and begins to read it while sinking into her bed.)
Art (finishing up his email): Okay, what was it you wanted to talk about?
(PENELOPE sets down her book.)
Penelope: It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just… at your Christmas party-
Art: Oh no, was it the food? I’m so sorry my dad let my mom cook this year and it did not go well for me either.
Penelope (laughing): No, it's not that. I just didn't like your uncle.
Art: What did he do sweetheart?
Penelope (shaking her head as if to get the thought out of her brain): You know what, just drop it. It’s fine.
Art: Are you sure?
Penelope: I am sure.
Art: I want you to be able to talk to me about things. I want you to trust me.
Penelope: I do trust you Art, I’m just not in the right headspace right now. I’m homesick, I’m tired, and I have a lot of homework to do.
Art: Okay, well when you’re ready to talk, I’m here.
Penelope: Thanks, love. I’m going to hang up now and get some rest. I think I’ll just do my homework in the morning.
Art: Sleep tight honey. I love you.
Penelope: Goodnight. I love you too.
(PENELOPE hangs up the phone with a click. She dials another number and holds the phone up to her ear. ART continues to type on his laptop.)
Penelope: Hey, are you busy tonight? I just want someone to talk to. (pause) No, Art is busy. I have a lot on my mind right now and I want to get late night slurpees. (another pause) Okay, great see you in five!
(blackout)
(PENELOPE and ART are getting ready in PENELOPE’S room. ART can’t seem to get his tie on correctly and PENELOPE is struggling to put her hoop earrings in. It is December and they are going to be late for ART’s family Christmas party. The room is filled with open suitcases and boxes. The bed has stacks of clothes strewn about. The couple is arguing.)
Art: I still can’t believe you didn’t plan on telling me.
Penelope: That is not true, I was going to tell you. I just couldn’t find the right time.
Art: Oh really? Was our date to Joanne’s last Monday not a good time? Was the sleepover not a good time? Was a quick text that said “Hey honey, by the way I’m studying abroad next semester,” not an option for you? (PENELOPE remains silent) Just admit it! You were never going to tell me.
Penelope: I promise I was going to tell you, but I kept putting off week after week and then-
Art: And then what? You just let me believe that we were going to spend spring break together again? Let me make plans with Nico and Alex to go to the beach back home without you?
Penelope: Well yeah, it seems like you want to spend more time with them than you do with me.
Art: Oh don’t make this about me not spending time with you. I’ve tried my best all semester Penny. With working night shifts and finals, it's been hard but I’ve tried to find time for you.
Penelope: It feels like you’ve been ignoring me.
Art: I have literally been taking you to Joanne’s every Monday so that I can spend more time with you. I have you penciled in my calendar, that’s how important you are to me.
Penelope (angrily): Is that all I am to you? A thing on your endless to-do list? “Do the laundry, wash the dishes, see my girlfriend,” Is that what this is?
Art: No, you aren’t understanding me. I have been trying my hardest all semester to spend time with you, and I admit, yeah, I haven’t been doing a good job of it, but you are the one that was hiding the fact that you are moving to London in two weeks since- who knows how long?
Penelope: I’m sorry.
Art (sighing and taking her hand): Penny, what is going on with you? You’re not acting like yourself and I know it seems like I am mad right now, but truthfully, I am just confused. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to London?
Penelope (frustrated): I don’t know, maybe because you would act like this!
Art: Like what?
Penelope: I don’t know, like all understanding and stuff and I didn’t want to deal with that.
Art: Understanding? What are you saying?
Penelope (breaking down): You’re just so perfect and I couldn’t bear the thought of breaking your heart by telling you I was leaving, because truthfully I don’t want to leave.
Art (now crying): Then don’t leave. Stay.
Penelope: I can’t, Art. This is something I have to do.
Art: Why? Why do you have to go?
Penelope: It has always been my dream to see the world, you know this. So when the opportunity to go to Europe for a whole 4 months came around, I couldn’t pass that up.
Art: Why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t I have been a part of this conversation?
Penelope: I don’t know. I thought maybe you would try to convince me to stay. Like the way you are right now.
Art: Penny- Penelope, I would never try to stop you from achieving your dreams. I only asked you to stay because I’m upset and confused, and frankly I’m really hurt. But if this trip had meant this much to you, I would have been in full support from the beginning. I support you right now, too. If going to London is this important to you, I will stay here and love you from three thousand miles away.
Penelope: You aren’t going to break up with me?
Art: Why would I do that?
Penelope: Because I didn’t tell you about my study abroad semester at all. I lied to you about staying in New York this semester. I’ve been pulling away. You deserve better than that.
Art: Do you love me?
Penelope: Yes.
Art: I love you. I’m not going to break up with you over this. As much as it hurt me that you kept all this from me, I still want to be by your side as you achieve all your dreams.
Penelope: Are you sure?
Art: Of course I’m sure.
(PENELOPE kisses ART and they wipe each other’s tears off their faces. Slowly, they begin to passionately kiss each other and PENELOPE throws ART onto the messy bed.)
Art (breathlessly): Wait, what about the party?
Penelope (unbuttoning his shirt): Have you ever heard of being fashionably late?
Art (in a fake British accent): It’s very common in London, I hear.
Penelope: Just shut up and kiss me.
(They continue to kiss as the lights fade into a blackout)
(It is October. NICO and STACY are laying in bed naked, only covered slightly by a blanket. STACY is scrolling on her phone while NICO stares off into the distance. The room is messy, clothes in piles on the floor, empty seltzer cans on top of the bedside table, makeup covering the desk on the side. A pink bikini sits on top of the door to the bathroom.)
Nico: Would now be a bad time to tell you I’m in love with you?
Stacy (without looking up): Yes.
Nico: Why?
Stacy: Because I’m not in love with you.
Nico: I know.
Stacy (looking up): So then why did you tell me you’re in love with me if you know that I don’t feel the same way.
Nico: Because I believe in honesty and I don’t want to keep lying to you about my intentions if we’re going to keep meeting like this. I’m willing to wait until you feel the same way.
Stacy: Nico, this… (she pauses to gather her thoughts) isn’t what you think this is.
Nico: I don’t understand.
Stacy: I’m not ready for a relationship, Nico.
Nico: But we went on dates, you met my sister. I took you to the aquarium! Is that not what a relationship is?
Stacy: This is just… a really close friendship.
Nico: Stacy, I was the first person in the hospital when you got hit by that car. I was the one you called when you and Penny were both drunk and needed a ride home. I’ve been here for you both emotionally and physically for the past five months. I’ve done everything you asked for, I never told any of my friends about us, I never posted you, even on National Girlfriend day. I don’t want to be a secret anymore. I’m in love with you.
Stacy: Nico, I can’t-
Nico: Why not?
Stacy: Because I just can’t, okay.
Nico: Stacy, I want to be your boyfriend. I don’t want to just be “Nico” to your family and friends. I want to be something more. I know you do too.
Stacy: I’m just not ready for a commitment like this.
Nico: What the hell Stace? Has the past five months not been a commitment to you? This is literally half of a pregnancy.
Stacy: I just want to keep my options open.
Nico (now shouting): Options? Is that what I am to you? An option?
Stacy: Well… no, but-
(NICO sighs deeply and runs his fingers through his hair. STACY puts her phone down and takes NICO’s hands in her own.)
Stacy: Nico, you’re a great guy but I’m just not in the right place to be someone’s girlfriend right now. All that romantic stuff, going on dates, posting each other on National Girlfriend and Boyfriend Day, matching pajamas, it’s just not for me, y’know? Meeting your sister was more than enough family I wanted to meet. Don’t get me wrong, she’s great, but I’m not a “meet the family” type of girl. I’m a free spirit, I can’t be like, tied down to some guy for too long. It’s just not who I am.
Nico: Were you seeing other people this whole time?
Stacy: Define “seeing.”
Nico (defeated): Were you having sex with other guys, Stacy?
Stacy: Umm… define “sex.”
Nico: Jesus Christ.
Stacy (laughing): No, I’m just kidding Nico, of course not. If I was, I would have told you so that we could both get tested. Just because I don’t want to be your girlfriend, doesn’t mean I don’t care about your sexual health.
Nico (sarcastically): Great, at least I know you’re not a total monster.
Stacy: Hey, even though we aren’t girlfriend and boyfriend, I’m still willing to be your friend… friend?
Nico: I don’t know if that’s what is best for me right now.
Stacy: What do you mean? We don’t have to have sex anymore. I’m fine with being completely platonic friends with you.
Nico: That’s the thing, I’m not. I don’t want to be “just friends” with you. I can’t be “just friends.” It’s either us together, or nothing.
Stacy: Don’t do this, Nico-
Nico: I have to, Stace or I’m never going to be able to get over my feelings for you.
Stacy (crying): So what, this is it? I’m never going to see you again? I’m going to lose my best friend?
Nico (putting his clothes on): If I was really just your friend, then you aren’t losing anything. I’ll still be around. You’ll still see me. But we aren’t going to see each other one-on-one anymore. I just can’t.
Stacy: But what about our friends? What about Penelope and Art and Alex?
Nico: I guess not everybody can have a relationship like Penny and Art.
Stacy: Please don’t do this Nico, I can’t lose you.
Nico: You never had me in the first place.
Stacy (wiping her tears): I don’t know what to tell Penny. I never told her about you.
Nico: I don’t know Stacy, maybe the truth? That’s certainly something I wish you told me on spring break, when this whole thing started. When she gave you that bikini. Why do you still have that anyway?
Stacy: I don’t know I just forgot to give it back. I gotta give it back before she leaves for London, though. I know she’s going in the winter but there’s definitely going to be hot tubs.
Nico: London? She never told Art she was going to London.
Stacy (realizing her mistake): Oh shit-
Nico: Is it like for Christmas break or something?
Stacy: Well, uh…
Nico (seriously): Stacy, why is Penny going to London?
Stacy (sighing): She’s studying abroad next semester. She told me not to tell you or Alex even though you’re Art’s best friends because she wanted to tell him herself.
Nico: Next semester? That’s in like three months! Why hasn’t she told Art about it yet?
Stacy: I don’t know, something about waiting for the right time. Just, please don’t tell him okay. She told me she needs time.
Nico: You know I can’t do that. Art deserves to know.
Stacy: And he will know, when Penny is ready. This isn’t your choice to make, Nico. It’s hers. If you really loved me, you would keep this secret for me.
Nico: Don’t-
Stacy: Please.
(NICO’s face softens as he looks at the love of his life for possibly the last time in this light. He loves her and she knows that now. She takes his hands in her own again. Without saying anything she looks up at him as a single tear rolls down her face. She loves him too. He will never know that.)
Nico (closing his eyes): I’m giving her until finals week. If she doesn’t tell him by then I will.
Stacy: Nico you can’t-
Nico: I’m not doing this for you, Stacy. I’m doing this for my good friend Penny and my best friend Art. (he gets up to leave)
Stacy: What am I then, Nico?
(NICO turns around, his face void of emotion. The loving stare is gone from his eyes. He is empty.)
Nico: You’re just an option, Stacy.
(He opens the door and exits, leaving STACY naked and alone in her bed. She breaks down into tears as the lights fade to black.)
(It is August in PENELOPE’s house. She is sitting at her kitchen table with her mother, MARTINE. Both of them are looking at PENELOPE’s laptop while the table is covered in travel magazines and unopened mail. Light creeps through the kitchen window, illuminating PENELOPE’s messy hair and tired face.)
Martine: Are you sure this is what you want to do? It’s going to take a lot of money and a lot of planning.
Penelope: Mom, I’ve been saving since before I even started college. Plus, I got that travel grant for making the Dean’s List last semester. I promise that I’m ready to commit to this.
Martine: But honey, London is so far away. Gosh, your father and I could barely handle you moving two hours away.
Penelope (laughing): I’m sure you’ll manage. Please, mom. How am I ever going to become a famous architect if I never get to see buildings that were built before Columbus sailed the ocean blue?
Martine: I suppose you’re right. I’m just afraid of you growing up so fast.
Penelope: Mom-
Martine: It’s true. It’s like one day you were ten, winning your fifth grade spelling bee and now you’re twenty! You’ve got a handsome boyfriend, you’re going abroad, you’re going to see the world, just like your father and I did when we were your age.
Penelope: You and dad used to travel?
Martine: Oh yes, every summer when we were in college your father would take money out of his trust fund to surprise me with trips to Europe, Asia, South America, one time we even went to Canada! (PENELOPE laughs) It was very irresponsible, yes. But oh, it was so much fun.
Penelope: Is that why Dad never let me buy the expensive hot dogs at the grocery store? Because you spent all your money eating poutine and watching hockey across the border?
Martine: Actually it’s probably because he lost seven-million won gambling in Seoul in 1985.
Penelope: Jesus Christ.
Martine: That was the last time your grandfather ever let me travel with him. Jokes on him, though. He died before we went on our honeymoon and we did it again!
Penelope: Well, I promise I’m not going to spend seven-million won, or I guess, five thousand pounds gambling in London.
Martine (suddenly serious): Oh you better not. If you do, I’ll kill you the second you step off that plane.
Penelope (laughing): Actually I was thinking of asking Art to pick me up from the airport. He’ll already be in New York because I’m supposed to return during finals week.
Martine: He’s not going with you?
Penelope: I haven’t asked him yet, but I wasn’t planning on it. It’s four whole months, mom. He’s got his own life and I have mine. I don’t want him to uproot his entire life for me.
Martine: I suppose. But the fun of traveling is getting to explore the world with people you love. Why do you think people go on family vacations and not friend ones?
Penelope: Mom, as much as I love you, going to London is something I need to do on my own.
Martine: You don’t even want him to visit you on his spring break?
Penelope: That’s his choice.
Martine (disappointed): Well, yes it is…
Penelope: Besides, he’ll be fine here. He has his friends and hockey practice. I’m sure he’ll be able to survive four months without me. And if we end up spending the rest of our lives together, four months is like nothing compared to a lifetime.
(MARTINE takes her daughter's hands.)
Martine: Sweetheart, is this really how you feel about him?
Penelope: I don’t know, mom. We’ve been talking about moving in together next year. I really love him.
Martine: But is he the boy you truly want to spend your life with? Because that is a commitment that you are far too young to make.
Penelope: Jesus mom, it’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow. We were just talking about it, you know since we’ve been dating for a year, it seems like the next logical step.
Martine: I think you should wait to move in with him honey, maybe give it another year.
Penelope: I love him, mom! Why wouldn’t I want to live with him and spend mundane moments with him instead of just dates and sleepovers. You married dad right after you both graduated. How is that any different?
Martine: You’re right, I did marry your father right after we graduated college. But as much as I love your dad, which I do, very much, I never got the chance to live on my own. I lived with my parents until I was eighteen and lived in the dorms until senior year, when I moved in with your dad and then we bought this house after getting married.
Penelope: You bought a house right after graduation with no job?
Martine: It was the 80s, times were different. Back then you could support a family on five dollars an hour at Macy’s. (PENELOPE rolls her eyes) The point is I’ve never lived alone, and when, God forbid, your father passes before me, and you’re off living your own life, I’m going to have to learn how to live by myself at seventy years old. I know you love Art, but never let your individuality be suppressed because of love.
Penelope: Just because I love him, that doesn’t mean he’s suppressing my individuality. And I don’t appreciate you projecting your insecurities and regrets onto my relationship. I love him, mom, and we are ready to move in together when I get home from London. End of story.
Martine: Okay honey, I’ll support whatever decision you make. I just wanted you to know my story first, before you make any impulsive decisions.
Penelope: Signing a lease is hardly impulsive, plus I still have nine months to think about it. That’s like, a whole pregnancy worth of time. Besides, you’re the one that wanted him to come with me to London.
Martine: Exploring the world is a whole different feeling than living in it. When you’re my age you will understand. Your twenties are for exploring, discovering yourself, who you are, what you want, the kind of love that you want. When you live with someone you love, you are tethering yourself to them, anchoring your life to theirs at least a little bit. I’m not saying to not consider moving in with him, sweetheart. Only that you consider if he is the boy you want to spend the rest of your life with, or the boy that you want to discover yourself with.
Penelope: Why can’t he be both? Dad is both for you.
Martine: He is darling, and I knew it from the moment I met him that he was the person I wanted to experience all stages of life with.
Penelope: I’m not following.
Martine: I want you to be completely sure this is what you want before you make any big decisions, that’s all I’m saying. Take time, honey. Mull it over while you’re in London. If you take your time, I promise that the second that plane lands, you will know.
Penelope: Fine, but I want you to know that you’re going to eat your words, mom.
Martine: I’ll be sure to include that in my “Mother-of-the-Bride” speech at your wedding.
Penelope: Good, because that wedding will be happening. (she gets up from the table and closes her laptop) Unless some old woman objects at the ceremony and tells me not to revolve my life around a man.
Martine: I’m not that old yet!
(blackout)
(It is April. It’s spring break in Rockport, Massachusetts and PENELOPE and ART are introducing their friends to one another on the front porch of ART’s beach house. PENELOPE brought STACY and DAVID, meanwhile ART brought NICO and ALEX. This is the first time the friend group meets each other.)
Nico (looking around in awe): Holy shit, Art. I didn’t know you were loaded.
Art: I’m not loaded, I promise. It’s my uncle’s house and he just so happens to be on a work trip for the week and he said I could have the house. All those summers of cleaning his boats for free really paid off, I guess.
Alex: Boats? Multiple? As in more than one?
Penelope (kissing ART on the cheek): Well I think it’s very kind that your uncle is letting us stay for the week. Guys, (she gestures to STACY and DAVID) these are my friends.
Stacy (shaking hands excitedly with NICO): Hi!
David: How goes it?
Nico: So how do you guys know Penny?
Stacy: Oh we go way back. I met her over the summer while she was working at this bar I was trying to get into and she totally knew my ID was fake but she made me a “Sex on the Beach” anyways. I chatted her up and found out we were going to the same school in the fall and we decided to be roommates!
Alex: A sex-on-the-what?
David (putting his hand around STACY’s waist): It’s a drink. An alcoholic one, if you couldn’t figure that out.
Alex: I gathered that much, smartass.
David: What did you call me?
(ALEX squares up to DAVID and he removes his hand from STACY’s waist)
Alex: I called you a smartass.
Penelope (interjecting): Okay! Everyone let’s head inside and unpack. (she whispers to ART) This is going to be a long week.
Art: I’m sure it will be fine.
Penelope: I’m sure it will be interesting.
(The group enters the house and disperses. ART and PENELOPE exit with their suitcases to unpack their things in the master bedroom. ALEX and DAVID sit across from each other on opposite sides of the couch and take out their phones. STACY and NICO are unpacking their backpacks on the kitchen table.)
Stacy: So your friend Alex, he seems a little bit…
Nico: Easily agitated?
Stacy: I was going to say “like an asshole,” but that works too.
Nico (laughing): He’s definitely an asshole, but to be fair your boyfriend kind of provoked him.
Stacy: Boyfriend? Are you talking about David?
Nico: You aren’t dating?
Stacy: Oh no, he’s very gay.
Nico: Oh! That’s cool. I couldn’t tell.
Stacy: Why, because you think all gay men are flamboyant and skinny and talk like women?
Nico: No no, not at all! I’m not that type of guy, I swear. I just couldn’t tell because he had your arm around you and everything.
Stacy: No, we’re just like that with each other. I’m comfortable around him, he’s comfortable around me. That’s just the kind of friendship we have.
Nico: That’s nice. I would never let Art or Alex hold my waist like that. Well, maybe Art. Alex would think I’m “scaring away the hoes.”
(ALEX and DAVID are glaring at each other from across the couch. ALEX is quietly growling like a dog, while DAVID is giving him a massive stink eye.)
Stacy: It looks like he does a pretty good job of that on his own.
Nico: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
Alex (suddenly): I can’t take this! I’m going upstairs! (he quickly gets up and exits, leaving his phone behind on the couch)
David: Wait! Oh for fucks sake-
Nico: What is it?
David: The dumbass left his phone.
Nico: I’ll go bring it to him.
David: No, I’ll bring it. It’ll give me an excuse to beat the crap out of him.
Stacy: Please don’t get any blood anywhere, this isn’t our house.
Nico: Correction, don’t get any of your blood anywhere. Alex can do without a few litres.
David: Noted. (he exits)
(PENELOPE and ART enter into the master bedroom and set their bags down. PENELOPE begins to unpack her bag while ART gets undressed.)
Penelope (looking up at ART): Hey sexy.
Art: Relax, I’m going to put another set of clothes on. I just didn’t want to keep wearing my jeans in this weather.
Penelope (running her hands along his abs): Another set of clothes can wait. I’m loving this view.
Art (smiling): And I love this view. (he kisses her forehead and gestures to the window) But we aren’t doing anything while our friends are in the house.
Penelope (correcting him): While our friends are awake, you mean.
Art: Penny!
Penelope: What? I can be quiet. You on the other hand-
Art (interrupting her): Enough of this. Come find me after we unload the beer from the car. Then we’ll talk. (he puts a different shirt on)
Penelope (rolling her eyes): Ugh fine.
(Still in the kitchen, NICO closes the fridge and turns to face STACY.)
Nico: So what do you like to do for fun?
Stacy (taking a sip from her bottle): Drink.
Nico: I can see that. I’m going to assume that bottle you’re holding isn’t filled with water.
Stacy: If water is clear and tastes like Vodka, then yes it is.
Nico (laughing): Well it’s certainly one of those things.
(Lights up on the master bedroom)
Penelope: Art, I don’t understand why you won’t stop talking to her.
Art: Honey, we dated in tenth grade for like, four months. Why does it even matter that I reach out every once in a while?
Penelope: I don’t know, maybe it’s because it’s kind of weird that you still talk to your ex?
Art: I’m not allowed to have friends?
Penelope: Not ones that want to fuck you, no.
Art: Emily does not want to fuck me, what are you talking about? She literally has a girlfriend.
Penelope: Regardless, what if she still wants you and she’s secretly plotting to cheat on her girlfriend with you and get you back.
Art: It’s literally been four years, I don’t think she wants me back and I certainly don’t want her back.
(Lights up on the kitchen)
Nico (laughing): So then I told her, she could take that fake apology and shove it right up her hairy asshole.
Stacy: Wow, your old manager sounds like a bitch.
Nico: She was certainly a character. Although I don’t like to call women bitches.
Stacy: As you should. That word is reserved for women only. (she takes a sip from her bottle) Although I’d let a guy call me that in bed.
Nico: Really? You, of all people? You’re into that kinda thing?
Stacy (shrugging): Only if it’s a guy I really like.
(Lights up on master bedroom)
Penelope: I can’t believe you aren’t even considering this.
Art: I’m not going to block a girl on Instagram because you think there’s even the slightest chance that she’s into me. That’s like asking you to block David.
Penelope: David’s gay!
Art: So is Emily!
Penelope: I didn’t date David. You dated Emily. That’s the difference. She was your first girlfriend, your first love.
Art: Are you sure you aren’t just jealous?
Penelope (taken aback): How dare you!
(Lights up on the kitchen)
Stacy: And the guy literally pees in my bed. Not just cum. But pee. It was disgusting.
Nico: Oh my god, that’s awful. Please tell me you kicked him out.
Stacy: Even worse, he left! Didn’t offer to clean it up or anything. He just threw on his pants and ran out the door. Didn’t even bother with aftercare.
Nico: Aftercare is like the most important part of a hookup!
Stacy: I know! At least he Venmo’ed me thirty bucks for new sheets. I just washed the sheets and used the thirty bucks to take Penny out for drinks. I know this place that doesn’t card nearby campus.
Nico: We should go sometime.
Stacy: You didn’t strike me as a bar kinda guy.
Nico (shrugging): But I could be.
(Lights up on master bedroom)
Art: You aren’t listening!
Penelope (crying): No, you aren’t listening.
Art: I am, I’m trying to listen, Penny.
Penelope: Then why won’t you block her?
Art: Because I don’t think this is about Emily, as much as it is about you.
Penelope: What is that supposed to mean?
Art: Have you ever considered why you might feel really jealous over a girl I used to date?
Penelope (sniffling): I’m not jealous.
Art: Be serious.
Penelope: Fine, maybe I’m a little jealous because she got to have all of your firsts and I didn’t. You’re all of my firsts but I’m not yours.
Art: Oh honey-
Penelope: You’re my first boyfriend and I love you so much and I’m scared of losing you. You were my first kiss, my first time, the first boy I ever brought home to my parents. I wished I could be that for you.
Art: You love me?
Penelope: Of course I love you, dumbass! That’s why I’m crying right now because I’m so in love with you and I can’t bear to fight with you.
Art: Penny, it doesn’t matter that you weren’t my first anything, you will be my last everything. I promise.
Penelope: You mean it?
Art: Of course, Penny. I love you too. (he kisses her)
(Lights up on the kitchen)
Nico: Should we explore the rest of the house? I feel like we’ve been unpacking chips and alcohol for like forever.
Stacy: Probably because those are the only sources of food we brought for the next week.
Nico: Oh shoot, I guess that means Art is going to make me drive the van to the grocery store at some point.
Stacy: I’d be happy to come with you.
Nico: For real?
Stacy: Sure, and yes I would like to explore the rest of the house.
Nico: We should probably start with finding David and Alex and making sure Alex didn’t actually lose two litres of blood.
(Lights up on the master bedroom)
Art (wiping PENELOPE’s tears): Come on honey, let's go downstairs and check on everyone.
Penelope: Yeah everyone probably thinks we’re fucking up here.
Art: Jesus Christ, Penelope I don’t think anyone thinks that.
(Both sets of people meet each other center-stage in front of a closed door.)
Art: Nico, have you seen Alex?
Nico: No, have you seen David?
Penelope: Nope. Do you think they're here? (she knocks on the door) Alex? David? Are you guys in there?
Alex (muffled): Yeah I’m in here.
Stacy: Where is David?
Alex: Uhh I don’t know, have you checked the other rooms?
Nico: Yes, this is the only room where he could be.
Alex: Well he’s definitely not in here so- Ow!
Stacy: Alex, are you okay?
Alex: Yup, I’m totally fine! You guys should just go find David!
Penelope (to the group): That’s it I’m coming in.
Alex (panicking): No! No! No!
(PENELOPE swings the door open to find ALEX on top of DAVID on the floor. Both boys are shirtless and ALEX’s glasses are on the floor beside them. ALEX jumps off DAVID and runs to throw a shirt on while everyone else covers their eyes except for STACY.)
Penelope: Oh my god.
Nico: Alex, what the hell?
Art: In the office?
Stacy: I’m not going to lie, this is really hot.
Alex: Well, uh. You found David.
Art (closing the door): Jesus Christ, will you just throw some clothes on and come downstairs for lunch?
Stacy: I think he already came-
Penelope: Nope nope, enough of that, we are leaving. (she shoves the group out of the way of the door)
Stacy: Speaking of coming, what were you and Art doing upstairs?
Penelope: Ew, gross. Nothing that you think happened.
Stacy (shrugging): I was just curious.
(The group exits and the lights fade to black.)
(It is August again. PENELOPE and ART are laying on a blanket on the beach at sunset. It is the spot they met two months ago and it has been their spot ever since. The waves are calm and the beach is quiet. Most people have already returned home for work and school. There are hardly any people around.)
Penelope: I’m kind of nervous to move in tomorrow.
Art: I’ll be right there with you.
Penelope: You’re too sweet. I’m just nervous because it’s literally New York. I’ve never lived in a city before.
Art: You’re going to be fine. I promise. Besides, you were like made for the city. You were not made to be tied down to a small beach town for the rest of your life.
Penelope: Yeah, you’re right.
Art: I, for one, am excited to move to the city. So many new opportunities, so many things to see. It feels like four years isn’t enough to explore all of it.
Penelope: Do you plan on moving back here after we graduate?
Art: I don’t know. Don’t ask me about my five year plan, to be honest I don’t even know what I want for dinner tonight.
Penelope (laughing): Honestly, me neither.
Art: Do you want to just drive around later until we find something?
Penelope: Yes, but for right now, I just want to stay here and talk.
Art: Okay then, let's talk. What do you want to know?
Penelope: I don’t know… (she pauses to think) What kind of movies do you like to watch?
Art: To be honest, I’m not a huge movie buff. I haven’t seen that many movies, or at least ones that people know.
Penelope: Please don’t tell me you’re one of those snobby “art film” guys that only watches black and white French movies from the 1930’s.
Art: First of all, never insult “Boute-en-Train” like that. (PENELOPE snorts) Second of all, no I’m not one of those guys. I just happen to appreciate good cinematography.
Penelope: Oh god, you’re not a Wes Anderson fan, are you?
Art: What is so wrong with Wes Anderson?
Penelope: Oh my god, you are a film guy!
Art: Wes Anderson is one of the greatest filmmakers of our generation!
Penelope: Sure, buddy.
Art: Have you ever seen a Wes Anderson movie?
Penelope: Nope! And I don’t plan on it. They all look so boring. All the characters speak so flatly, and the plot of “The Grand Budapest Hotel” sounds like an acid trip.
Art: That’s it! I’m making you watch “Fantastic Mr. Fox” with me when we get to school.
Penelope: Absolutely not!
Art: Nope, it’s been decided. You owe me a movie night anyway.
Penelope: God, you miss one movie night-
Art: I thought you died!
Penelope: I was asleep! God forbid a girl gets the flu.
Art: In summer?
Penelope: It happens. (she shrugs) Thank you for the soup, by the way. It did help.
Art: You’re welcome.
Penelope: Okay, your turn. You ask me a question.
Art: Hmm… What’s your favorite color?
Penelope: Are you serious? (she lightly hits his arm and he jumps back dramatically)
Art: Ow! Yes, it is serious. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite color.
Penelope (rolling her eyes): Pink, now ask me a better question.
Art: Fine, fine. (he pauses to think) What was the most defining moment in your life? What makes Penelope, well, Penelope?
Penelope: Jesus, that was a switch. (she sighs) I guess probably when my parents took me to California as a kid for a week. We visited all sorts of national parks and I got to see the deserts. It was amazing. That was when I knew I wanted to see the world. I thought to myself, “If all of this is just in California, I wonder what the rest of the world has to offer.” What about you?
Art: Well personally, I like to explore just one place until I know it like the back of my hand. That’s why I’m so excited to go to New York. I want to make it my home.
Penelope: Oh, that’s pretty interesting actually. But I meant what was your defining moment? When did you figure out who you were?
Art: Is it corny to say the day I met you?
Penelope: Yes, yes it is. (she hits him again)
Art (laughing): It’s true! It’s like I was just wandering around, not really living life to the fullest until I met you. When we started hanging out, it’s like something clicked in my brain, and I figured out who I am. I found my ambitions, my wants, my desires. I wanted to be someone you could grow with and find yourself with.
Penelope: So you were just living life with no goals before me?
Art: No, I had goals. I knew I wanted to move to New York one day. I knew I wanted to become a journalist. But other than that, I didn’t have a lot of hobbies or friends that shaped me into a real person. I know we’ve only known each other for like, two months, but I really think we have a connection.
(PENELOPE looks deep into his eyes without saying anything. She holds his hand and rests her head on his shoulder.)
Penelope: I think we have a connection too.
Art (leaning his head on hers): Yeah.
(They stay like this for a moment. Just thinking about each other while the sound of waves slowly engulfs the atmosphere.)
Penelope (suddenly): What’s your favorite color?
Art: Hm?
Penelope: Your favorite color. I told you mine but I don’t know yours.
Art: Green.
Penelope: You know, that makes a lot of sense for you. Green is calm and thoughtful. Just like you.
Art: I told you that you can tell a lot about a person by their favorite color.
Penelope: Okay wise guy, what does pink say about me?
Art: It means that you’re bold. You do what you want without anyone telling you what to do. You don’t take any bullshit from anybody. (PENELOPE shrugs in agreement) But it also means you’re kind and loving. You have a soft spot for select people in your life and once you let someone in, they are in forever.
Penelope: Are you like an undercover therapist or something?
Art: No, I just watch a lot of Wes Anderson movies.
Penelope: I hate you.
Art: I like you. I like you a lot.
Penelope: I know you do, Art.
Art: Hey, I have one more question before we get dinner.
Penelope: If you’re going to ask me to watch “The Grand Budapest Hotel” with you, the answer is no.
Art: Not quite, I’m kind of hoping the answer to this one will be yes.
Penelope: Okay, shoot.
Art (taking her other hand): Will you be my girlfriend?
Penelope: Really?
Art: Yeah, I mean you said it yourself, you think we have a connection. I want to make it official.
Penelope: Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.
Art: Really?
Penelope: Really.
(She grabs his face and kisses him. He’s surprised at first, but kisses her back, wrapping his hands around the back of her head. After a few seconds they pull away, smiling.)
Art: Woah.
Penelope: Yeah.
Art: So I take it that means movie night is going to be a date?
Penelope: Was that not already established?
Art: I suppose you’re right.
Penelope (getting up): Time for dinner. We have to be up early tomorrow to catch the train.
Art (following suit): Yeah, I still have to finish packing.
Penelope: You still haven’t finished packing?
Art: I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to ask you to be my girlfriend!
Penelope: Oh my god, you’re hopeless. I would have said yes no matter how you asked me.
Art: Good to know, next time I’ll ask you on a rollercoaster.
Penelope: Next time, I’ll say no.
(ART helps PENELOPE dust the sand off herself. Then, they gather their beach items and exit as the lights fade to black.)
(It is early July on a beach on the Eastern Coast of the United States. It is a sunny day, the birds are chirping, and the ocean is calm. A group of boys are tossing a football back and forth. Nearby, two women are drinking out of plastic red solo cups. Neither group notices each other.)
Nico (throwing the football): So yeah, that’s where I stand on picking a college.
Alex: Man, tough choice. Why not just come to the city with me and Art?
Art (catching the ball): Yeah, we could all be roommates and it’ll be awesome!
Nico: I’ll consider it. I did get into the music program at Brooklyn College.
Alex: Brilliant! It’s settled, we’re all moving to New York in the fall, boys!
Nico: Wait, I never said yes-
Penelope: So where are you going in the fall?
Stacy: How do you know I’m just starting college?
Penelope: Oh please, I knew from the second I looked at your ID. You went to high school with my cousin. I know you’re eighteen.
Stacy: Aw man. I guess that means I have to get a new fake before I move to the city.
Penelope: You don’t necessarily need one. I just have a good eye for girls who fake their age.
Stacy: But you still served me anyway? You could lose your job for that.
Penelope: I don’t care, I’ve been bartending since I was seventeen. If anything, my manager would be the one to lose his job for not following child labor laws. Besides, I’m quitting in a few weeks. I’m moving to New York.
Stacy: No way, me too. Where in the city?
Penelope: Brooklyn.
Stacy: No way! We should totally be roommates. The last girl I was talking to about living together totally ghosted me. Turns out, she’s actually going abroad and didn’t tell me.
Penelope: I wish I could go abroad. I wanted to visit Germany but my mom wants me to do at least a year in the States before I go out of the country.
Stacy: I’d want to go anywhere in Europe. You can drink at eighteen there legally.
Penelope: You can drink anywhere outside of the U.S at eighteen, legally.
Stacy: This is such bullshit. If I can move to New York by myself, I should be able to have a shot of tequila.
Penelope (raising her cup in agreement): If I can serve alcohol, I should be able to drink it.
(STACY jumps up, knocking over an empty cup.)
Stacy: Let’s start a revolution! No taxation without representation or whatever! Let’s change the legal drinking age!
Penelope: Slow down, I don’t think we’re going to be able to do that. Besides, even if we could, by the time the law actually changes, we’d be twenty-one anyway.
Stacy (sitting back down): Darn. I really wanted to change the world.
Penelope: I’m sure you will.
(Suddenly, ALEX throws his football and it lands by the girls’ cooler, knocking over some drinks. He waves his hand in apology, while ART jogs over to the girls.)
Stacy: Hey! What gives?
Art: I’m so sorry about that. My friend Alex has got a bit of an arm.
Penelope (cleaning up the spilled drinks): Maybe he should get a new pair of glasses then.
Art: I deeply apologize. Here, (he takes out his phone) put your number in. I’ll buy you guys new drinks.
(PENELOPE puts her phone number in and hands the phone back.)
Art: Thanks. (he turns to leave) I’ll keep in touch.
Stacy: You better.
Penelope: You didn’t even bother to ask our names.
Art (turning back): Right, what are your names?
Stacy: Why should we tell you?
Art: So do you want me to know your names or not?
Stacy: My name is Stacy. Don’t forget it.
Art: I will not, don’t fret. And your name is? (he turns to face Penelope)
Penelope: Penelope. Penny to my friends.
Art: Like the coin?
Penelope (rolling her eyes): No like the jerseys from elementary school gym class.
Art: I’m pretty sure those are called pinneys-
Penelope: I know, dumbass. It’s called a joke.
Art (putting his hands up in surrender): Jeez, didn’t know Penny was feisty.
Penelope: Hey! I said “Penny to my friends.” We are not friends yet. That’s Penelope to you.
Art: Right, okay then Penelope. How about I see you here again tomorrow, same time? (he gestures to the cooler) Alex and I will bring the cooler this time.
(STACY and PENELOPE look at each other and nod.)
Stacy: Sure, same time tomorrow. What about that other guy over there? The tall one. (she gestures at NICO)
Art: Oh, that’s Nico. He has band practice tomorrow unfortunately so he can’t come. But you don’t want him here anyways. He’s not much of a party guy. I had to drag him out of his house to come to the beach with us today.
Stacy: Interesting…
Penelope: It’s settled then. Same time tomorrow. I’ll see you guys here.
Art (turning to leave for real this time): Great! See you then. And I’m really sorry about the football, by the way. (he runs back to his friends)
Penelope (to nobody): I forgive you.
(ART waves as he runs back to NICO and ALEX. PENELOPE and STACY continue to drink out of their cups and laugh. The sound of waves gets louder as the sun begins to set in the east until eventually they are engulfed in darkness. The sound of the waves cease and a single light illuminates ART, frozen mid-football throw. Slowly a second light illuminates PENELOPE frozen in laughter. A tape recorder turns on, playing conversations between ART and PENELOPE.)
Penelope: Why are you asking me this?
Art (angrily): Just answer the question— (he takes a breath) Please.
(The tape clicks)
Penelope (suddenly): I want to break up.
Art: What?
(The tape clicks)
Penelope (frustrated): I don’t know, maybe because you would act like this!
Art: Like what?
(The tape clicks)
Art: Are you sure you aren’t just jealous?
Penelope (taken aback): How dare you!
(The tape clicks)
Penelope: So is that what this was? A goodbye?
Art: Yeah. I think this is goodbye.
(The tape clicks)
Art: You love me?
Penelope: Of course I love you, dumbass!
(The tape clicks)
Art: Will you be my girlfriend?
Penelope: Yes, I will be your girlfriend.
(The tape clicks one final time. ART turns to face PENELOPE. They don’t speak, only staring at each other from a distance. PENELOPE reaches her hand out toward ART. He runs out of his spotlight to her and disappears into the darkness. When he doesn’t emerge into PENELOPE’s light she stands and sets her cup down. She looks out to the audience and her heartbeat gets louder as she reaches out towards the top of the earth. Then suddenly, her heartbeat stops as her light goes dark leaving ART’s empty spotlight on stage. Slowly, it too, fades into nothing.)
The End