From a small town in Florida, I am a forty year old male named Nate Winfeld. I have lived in the same community my whole life and never thought once to move or go to a different community because their is so much to do here. When I was little I grew up with my parents until one tragic day when I was thirteen years old they went out for their anniversary and were hit a killed by a drunk driver. I was forced and had to live with my grandparents ever since. I had to change schools and find new friends but nobody wanted to be my friend they all laughed at me and made fun of me. This was a school and neighborhood full of Jews and I had no other choice but to go to that school and live in this neighborhood. I knew that I didn't belong here.
Later on during the school year during history class we learned about the holocaust and the effects and things that happened to the Jews, and how six million Jews were killed during World War 2 in concentration camps, but in my head I didn't believe it and I expressed my opinion to everybody in that classroom, but everybody talked back threw things at me, and even beat me up after school for what I said. At that point I wanted to take a stand and join a Holocaust Denial group, and make new friends their in which I did and I made some friends that supported ideas such as mine. In my Holocaust denial group we discuss and express that six million Jews did not die due to gas chambers, but the poor conditions they were left in such as starvation, disease and many other hardships that happened during World War 2. After being in the group for only a couple of years I was made the leader of the group after our leader left after he visited the concentration camps and got a different point of view on it. This was one of the things that I would never do is to go to a concentration camp, but if I had the opportunity and money to do it I would.
Everyday during school since I joined the group I was never looked at the same I had people threaten me, beat me up, and even throw things at me I never wanted to go back to school after all of this happened, I was scared, I was in shock. My grandparents did not even know I joined this Holocaust Denial group because I would just say I am going to hang out with some friends from school when I got home, but in reality I was going to meetings and to Miami to express what I believe in. One day my grandparents were watching the news and somehow our group got onto the news about us denying the holocaust in Miami, and when they showed the group standing their and expressing what we believe in I was right their in the middle of it. My grandparents were not happy at all I wanted to run away, I wanted to get out of this town and community and away from my grandparents. I realized what I was doing and only making it worse for my grandparents I told them straight up if you don't want me in this house that is fine, but I am standing up for what I believe in and what I want to express to other people.
My grandparents cared about me, but did not like what I was doing, but they kept me in that household until I was able to a ford an apartment, and support living by myself. By the time I was able to a ford living by myself was when I was twenty three. Out of college and had a degree in engineering. I had not girlfriend so I wasn't spending my money stupidly or even spending it on dumb things, only for the things that I need. After a couple of years earning money and being in that Holocaust denial group I decided to take a trip with some of my buddies in the group to see what was up with some of these concentration camps, and to uncover some things that we knew or things that we believed in and persuade people on the tour about how these Jews actually died. A couple of days before I left for that trip though I got a call from the police saying that my grandparents were murdered by someone in the neighborhood, and I need to get to the police station as quick as I can talk to them and to tell me who the murderer was. I found out it was somebody from my high school and in the neighborhood who was looking for me, but ended up killing my grandparents. I didn't want to cancel my trip, or anything after that, but it just made me realize a lot more that I have a hit on my head, and somebody it out their to get me.
When I went to these concentration camps my buddies and I realized that our group and the things that we believed were not true due to all of these photos and even the gas chambers that we visited made us come to the realization that we can not be in this group anymore. I thought back to how my parents wouldn't want me putting my life in danger for something that was in the past, and something that is true to history. I know they wouldn't want me to go down like this, and I even thought about my grandparents and the hit on my head by the guy who was after me. I didn't want to do this anymore, I wanted to have kids and a wife, and just know that they are safe, and nothing is going to happen to them. I knew that if my work or anybody else found out about the group that I was in my future would turn dark and nothing would be their for me. I knew the job I had and what the future was going to hold for me if I stopped what I was during, so I quit and left that group. I regret all of my decisions that I have made in the past, and I know all of my buddies regret all of their decisions, but the only people who never will forgive me would be my family members.
Works Consulted
“Holocaust Denial.” Southern Poverty Law Center, https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/ideology/holocaust-denial.
Pilcher, Bradford R. “Holocaust Denial.” My Jewish Learning, My Jewish Learning, 19 Nov. 2007, https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/holocaust-denial/.
Sauer, Patrick. “Mel Mermelstein Survived Auschwitz, Then Sued Holocaust Deniers in Court.” Smithsonian.com, Smithsonian Institution, 27 Aug. 2018, https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/mel-mermelstein-survived-auschwitz-then-sued-holocaust-deniers-court-180970123/.
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, https://www.ushmm.org/confront-antisemitism/holocaust-denial-and-distortion.