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Feeling like you're a whole heap of emotions? Getting distracted by other people's successes online? Well in today's article, I'm going to be talking about the art of mastering your emotions in the 21st century. I'm sure you know what emotional intelligence, a term coined initially Daniel H Coleman. He wrote a book on emotional intelligence, so if you are geeky enough to want to read it you can find it here.
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During many of my coaching sessions, emotional intelligence has been at the heart of some challenges they have faced in their life. I'm going to aim to explain what emotional intelligence is and how you can use it to better master your emotions.
Self awareness can be developed if you do certain practices that enable you to understand exactly what's happening within your surroundings, or at least get to a stage of being close to observing things from an objective standpoint. What do I mean by this? Well, here are some practices to help you improve your self-awareness:
It always starts with self-awareness, because if you can't truly see what's in front of you due to a rose-tinted lens, it's going to be very difficult for you to make changes for the better. In order for you to assume control, you need to stick to practices such as the ones I've just stated to help facilitate this. Being present is key.
The second thing is self-management. When you start to get a baseline based on your observable environment, then you start to be in a position of power because you start making choices and decisions based on that information.
In other words, if something bad happens in your life, then if you've practised self-awareness, and you can get to a stage of making changes. You can be a bit more adaptable, and you can be a bit more resilient. You can be in a position where your stimulus does not heavily distort you emotional state and therefore your decisions. In psychology, this is known as emotional agility. In essence, it's really being clear about your values and your principles and knowing how to act in accordance to what is important to you. This helps you stay more in emotional control.
And so that's what intrapersonal means when we break it down into self-awareness and self-management. And obviously, if you have these skills, you're in a position of power because many people suffer from not being able to manage their emotions effectively.
This is knowing how and when to say things that are appropriate in order to make that person feel like you understand them and talking to them in such a way where there is psychological safety. Personally, I feel like there are many people who don't show the right level of empathy when people are suffering from situations that are making them feel down. As everyday leaders we can all definitely do better.
This is enabling an individual to open up and be vulnerable with you, which creates more trust. If you can develop that by virtue of those characteristics and those actions, you are improving your relationship. In the coaching world, they say that if you allow more trust and more rapport to happen in one's life, then you're moving more towards a transformational relationship or direction, which means you're going to strengthen that relationship rather than just having a transactional one; the sort that you sometime see or pathetic WhatsApp conversations.
Another thing that's really important, adopted from Carl Rogers is using deep listening. This is not the same as active listening because active listening can sometimes give the perception of deep listening - but nothing is actually being registered in the same way. With deep listening you almost feel like you are experiencing the uni-mind affect; in the moment you are one.
In addition effective and powerful questions supplement deep listening. Questions that invoke a really heartfelt response. Questions that enable the person to open up and express themselves in such a way where they feel like they can trust you.
All these different things help you maintain relationships with different people. There are situations where with friends, we may say "Oh it's their turn to contact me." out of principle. You may be fed up that they are not pushing their end of the relationship bargain, whatever that is based on. But in the same instance, are you letting situations define the characteristics that you want to uphold? When it comes to relationship management, you have to think to yourself, what is it that I'm trying to achieve here? What is it I'm trying to do? At the heart this, it's important to be aware that it comes down to self-awareness. It comes down to being able to observe things and realize how you respond in different situations.
Hopefully you can see how you can master your emotions, it's by mastering your emotional intelligence. If you want to learn more about the biology, psychology and sociology of emotional intelligence, you can check out the book here.
When you get to a certain level of experience in trading and investing, a large part of success is about optimizing the quality of your decisions. This starts with making sure the data and logic of the decisions are robust and sound - that comes with having a sound process, doing your homework, and updating your mental map of the markets.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon - You are patiently lying in wait for the next opportunity. You know that a good trade is around the corner so you are in no hurry to immediately deploy your capital. You are prepared for various scenarios that could play out in the market, and know what levels and conditions will make you put on a trade again. This is the perfect mindset to have when you are in between trades or are running a light portfolio. When opportunity meets preparation, you are able to spot it and capitalize on it.
Revenge trading - Traders put on revenge trades after they have lost a chunk of pnl and have not yet accepted or psychologically acclimated to their lower NAV level. For those who have seen this graphic before, revenge trading usually happens in the denial and desperation phase.
In every trading blowup, revenge trading is often at the scene of the crime. Kyle and Su at Three Arrows Capital notoriously went on tilt after having lost hundreds of millions on the Terra/Luna meltdown. They doubled down on their long crypto exposure by going massively long perpetual futures on despite the market being in freefall. This accelerated their demise and left a larger hole in their balance sheet than if they had followed proper risk management.
The content of this blog is provided for informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as professional financial advice, investment recommendations, or a solicitation to buy or sell any securities or instruments.
The author of this blog is not a registered investment advisor, financial planner, or tax professional. The information presented on this blog is based on personal research and experience, and should not be considered as personalized investment advice. Any investment or trading decisions you make based on the content of this blog are at your own risk.
Past performance is not indicative of future results. All investments carry the risk of loss, and there is no guarantee that any trade or strategy discussed in this blog will be profitable or suitable for your specific situation. The author of this blog disclaims any and all liability relating to any actions taken or not taken based on the content of this blog. The author of this blog is not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use or misuse of the information provided.
\u201CThere an enormous amount of information in our senses, feelings, emotions which are only degrees of intensity of the same physical experience. You get knowledge out of your body - a sense, a feeling, an emotion\u2026.The trick is to learn to see that as a dataset, and to analyze it in an organized way, which can be done once you understand how the system\u2019s really working.\u201D - Denise Shull
The next part is figuring out what are the underlying emotions motivating you to make this decision, and whether those emotions are additive or subtractive to your decision process. This takes tremendous self-awareness, and like my wife always points out, self-awareness is not an innate trait for me. Fortunately, it\u2019s a skill that can be learned. Denise Shull talks about how labeling your emotions is a helpful way to better identify them and use them as a dataset in your decision process. Labeling helps you identify immediately what emotions are motivating a decision and determine whether the emotion is additive or subtractive to your process so you can adjust your decision accordingly. In this blog post, I\u2019ll go through a list of emotions I encounter and give them some labels.
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) - You\u2019re seeing the price moving in your direction but you\u2019re not on the trade. Everyone else is making money on the trade except you. At some point, watching the train moving without you on it gets too painful and you find some excuse, any excuse, to get on the trade. Of course by the time you enter, early entrants are already getting out and using you for exit liquidity. Game over.
ROMO (Regret of Missing Out) - You missed your entry to the trade, maybe because you weren\u2019t watching the market or because you found out about the idea too late. Perhaps you stopped out or took profit right before the market went massively in your favor without you on board. Either way, you\u2019re pissed at yourself for missing it, but vow to be better about staying on top of opportunities going forward. ROMO sucks, but disciplined traders experience it all the time. Feeling ROMO is better than losing money from FOMO. You can\u2019t catch them all! 152ee80cbc
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