How to Make a Pros and Cons List That Actually Helps You Decide

Five-step diagram for a useful pros and cons list: frame one clear question, list pros and cons quickly, weight each item from 1 to 5, ask what the list misses, decide and set a review date

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Updated 28 October 2026 · Published by Loopless Mind, the editorial site of the unLooper app's developer. Educational content, not medical advice.

Eight against eight at the kitchen table

An illustrative example, not a real person: on a Sunday afternoon, Maya sits at her kitchen table with a mug of tea gone cold and the back of an envelope covered in her handwriting. The question at the top reads "Move to the bigger flat?" A line runs down the middle. Eight reasons on the left, eight on the right. She counts them twice, as if a recount might change the result. It doesn't. The list she made to settle the question has handed it back to her, tied.

That is the most common way a pros and cons list fails. Not because the idea is bad, but because the plain two-column version treats every item as equal and quietly skips the questions that actually decide things. This guide shows you how to build a pros and cons list that does its job: helping you see what matters, choose, and move on.

Why the classic two-column list so often stalls

The basic list has three hidden weaknesses. First, it counts instead of weighs. "Bigger kitchen" and "an extra 30 minutes of commuting each day" each take one line, even though one may shape your daily life far more than the other.

Second, it mixes facts with fears. "Rent is the same" is a fact. "I might feel isolated out there" is a prediction, and often a worried one. On the page they look equally solid.

Third, it only compares the options you already wrote at the top. If the real answer is a third option you have not considered, a two-column list will never show it to you. So you end up rereading the same sixteen lines, which is exactly the loop you were trying to escape.

What a good list is actually for

A pros and cons list is not a calculator that produces the right answer. It is a way to get a crowded decision out of your head and onto something you can look at. Once it is on paper, you can notice which items you keep returning to, which ones are padding, and which ones would change your mind if they turned out to be false.

Problem-solving guides such as the NHS Every Mind Matters material describe a similar move: list the possible options, think through the strengths and weaknesses of each, then pick one and try it. The list is a step in a process, not the final verdict. Keep that in mind and the exercise becomes lighter.

Before you write a single item: frame the question

Most stalled lists start with a fuzzy question. "Should I change my life?" cannot be answered in two columns. "Should I accept the flat on Elm Road before Friday's deadline?" can. Spend two minutes on these three points first:

One clear question. Write it as a yes/no or A/B choice.
A deadline. When do you genuinely need to decide? A real date stops the list from becoming a permanent hobby.
Your top three priorities. What do you want your life to have more of over the next year: time, money, calm, closeness to people, growth? Write three, no more.

Those priorities become the yardstick for everything that follows.

Step one: write fast, then clean up

Set a timer for five minutes and write every pro and con you can think of without judging them. Speed helps here; it gets the obvious items out and makes room for the less obvious ones.

Then clean the list. Merge duplicates ("cheaper" and "saves money" are one item). Split vague items into concrete ones ("better lifestyle" might really mean "can walk to the park" and "quieter at night"). Finally, mark each item with an F if it is a fact you can check, or a W if it is a worry or a guess. You do not have to delete the W items. Worries can point to something real. But seeing them labelled stops them from posing as certainties.

Step two: weight what matters to you

This is the step that turns a list into a decision tool. A weighted pros and cons list gives each item a score from 1 to 5 based on how much it matters to you, measured against the three priorities you wrote earlier.

5 — touches a top priority and affects daily life.
3 — noticeable, but you would adapt.
1 — nice or annoying, but minor.

Add up each column. The totals are useful, but the most valuable thing is usually the single highest-scored item on each side. Very often, one or two heavy items carry the whole decision, and the rest are background noise.

Be honest rather than precise. There is no need to debate whether something is a 3 or a 4. If the totals are within a couple of points, treat them as a tie and move on to step three.

Step three: ask what the columns cannot see

Three questions catch what most lists miss:

Is there a third option? Look at your heaviest pro. Is there another way to get it? If the main reason to switch jobs is flexibility, you might be able to ask for it where you are.

How reversible is this? A one-year lease is easier to undo than buying a house. The more reversible the choice, the less certainty you need before acting. Interestingly, a 2002 study by Gilbert and Ebert found that people tend to prefer keeping their options open, yet participants who could change their minds were less satisfied with their choice than those whose choice was final. Committing has its own quiet benefit.

What does your gut say when you imagine telling someone? Picture announcing the decision to a friend. Relief and disappointment are both useful data, not orders.

A worked example: Maya's list, weighted (illustrative)

Back at the kitchen table. Maya's top priorities are: a calmer workday at home, staying close to her sister, and not spending more than she does now. She cleans her list and weights it.

Pros of moving: a separate room to work in (5), quieter nights (3), a small balcony (2), more storage (1). Total: 11.

Cons of moving: 40 minutes further from her sister (4), a longer commute on her two office days (3), the cost and effort of moving (2, but a one-off), losing her favourite bakery (1). Total: 10.

Eleven against ten is still close. But now she can see the shape of the decision. The heaviest item by far is the work room. That leads to the third-option question: could she get a work room without leaving the neighbourhood? She had never searched for that. She also notices that "I'll feel cut off from my sister" carried a W. The fact is a 35-minute tram ride; the fear is about seeing her less.

Maya decides to spend two weeks looking for a slightly larger flat nearby. If nothing suitable turns up by then, she will take the bigger flat and book a standing Sunday lunch with her sister. The decision is made, with a date attached.

Where pros and cons lists go wrong

Rewriting the list until it agrees with you. If you keep adjusting weights to reach a result you already wanted, the list has told you something: you have probably decided. Notice that and act on it.
Chasing the perfect option. Researchers describe a "maximizing" style of choosing, always looking for the best possible option, and in a 2002 study by Schwartz and colleagues it was linked with more regret and less satisfaction than a "satisficing" style of choosing something good enough. The findings are correlational, but the pattern is worth knowing.
Too many options in one list. Comparing seven flats in one grid can make choosing harder, not easier. The famous jam study by Iyengar and Lepper suggested large choice sets can discourage choosing, though later research shows the effect varies a lot. Narrow to two or three first.
Making the list at your most tired. A list written in a worried, exhausted state tends to be full of W items. Do it when you are reasonably rested.

Your pros and cons list in seven steps

Write one clear question and a real deadline at the top of the page.
Name your top three priorities for the next year.
Spend five minutes writing every pro and con, without judging.
Merge duplicates, split vague items, and mark each one F (fact) or W (worry).
Score each item from 1 to 5 against your priorities and total each side.
Ask the three extra questions: third option, reversibility, gut reaction.
Decide, write down one first action, and set a date to review how it is going.

If choosing between two strong candidates is your situation, our guide on how to choose between two good options goes deeper on that specific case.

Questions people ask about pros and cons lists

Is a weighted pros and cons list better than a simple one?

For anything beyond small choices, usually yes. Weighting makes it obvious when one big factor outweighs several small ones, which a simple count hides.

What if my totals come out equal?

A tie after honest weighting often means both options are reasonable. Use the extra questions, especially reversibility, and if it is still even, pick one and commit. The cost of waiting may now be bigger than the difference between the options.

How long should making the list take?

For most everyday decisions, 20 to 30 minutes is plenty. If you have spent several evenings on the same list, the list is no longer the bottleneck.

Should I show my list to someone else?

It can help. Another person often spots a missing third option or an item you scored oddly. Just keep the final weights your own; the list is about your priorities.

When the decision is weighing on more than the page

Sometimes the difficulty is not the decision itself. If overthinking choices is seriously affecting your sleep, work or relationships, or if you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please speak to a doctor or licensed mental health professional. In the US you can call or text 988; in the UK you can reach Samaritans on 116 123.

Putting the pen down

The point of a pros and cons list is to finish it. Frame the question, write freely, weigh what matters, check what the columns miss, then decide and set a review date. Most decisions are less permanent than they feel at the kitchen table, and a choice you act on teaches you more than a list you keep rewriting. If the doubt keeps returning afterwards, this guide to second-guessing yourself may help.

Try a guided version with unLooper

If you would like a structured place to work through a decision like Maya's, unLooper, an iPhone app made by the publisher of this site, includes a decision workspace called Decide for me. It lets you weigh your options against your own priorities and, if you choose, get an optional AI review of the trade-offs. The final call always stays with you.

Using it is entirely optional, and it is a self-reflection tool, not therapy. You can find it here: unLooper on the App Store.

Sources

Gilbert, D. T., & Ebert, J. E. J. (2002). Decisions and revisions: The affective forecasting of changeable outcomes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.82.4.503
Schwartz, B., et al. (2002). Maximizing versus satisficing: Happiness is a matter of choice. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.83.5.1178
Iyengar, S. S., & Lepper, M. R. (2000). When choice is demotivating: Can one desire too much of a good thing? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.79.6.995
NHS Every Mind Matters. Problem solving. https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/problem-solving/

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