Here are some facts and tips that may support you on this journey!
“But mom, all the other parents let their kids do it!”
Data from our 2019 surveys of Longmeadow parents and high school students contradict this:
Over 90% of parents don’t allow underage drinking in their home.
Over 90% have clear rules limiting underage drinking and drug use.
8 out of 10 report communicating with the host of a teen gathering.
92% of parents want other parents to connect to see if they’re home during a social gathering.
3 out of 4 teens say their parents are the leading influence on their decisions regarding alcohol.
Isn’t it better for me to allow my teen to drink at home under my supervision?
Multiple studies, from the Us and Europe, have shown that teens whose parents have allowed them to drink have an increased likelihood of suffering alcohol-related harms and developing a substance use disorder.
Here is one such study: Richard P Mattick, Philip J Clare, Alexandra Aiken, Monika Wadolowski, Delyse Hutchinson, Jackob Najman, Tim Slade, Raimondo Bruno, Nyanda McBride, Kypros Kypri, Laura Vogl, Louisa Degenhardt. Association of parental supply of alcohol with adolescent drinking, alcohol-related harms, and alcohol use disorder symptoms: a prospective cohort study. The Lancet Public Health, 2018; DOI: 10.1016/S2468-2667(17)30240-2
90% of addictions begin during the teen years. The younger a person is when they begin use of a substance, the more likely they are to become addicted to it. For example, 1 in 6 teens who begin using marijuana will develop a dependence on it compared with 1 in 10 adults who begin use (SAMHSA). The chart below demonstrates the increased risk from teen drinking.
What is the legal liability of allowing teens to drink in my home?
Parents are legally responsible for their minor children and their children’s actions. While serving alcohol to your own teen in your home is legal, you are liable for any harm to your teen or caused by your teen as a result of that consumption. Serving alcohol to a minor visiting your home is a criminal offense and adults are liable for any negative consequences that result from such use. This is true even if the minor’s parents give you permission to serve them.
FAQ’s answered at mass.gov:
Impaired Driving
In our community, young drivers are driving to social gatherings and other events, and some are driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The data from the 2019 LHS School Climate Survey shows an alarming amount of impaired driving:
According to the CDC, 4,300 lives are lost each year as a result of underage drinking.
When Your Child Is Invited To a Party or Social Gathering
• Call the family in charge to verify the occasion and location.
• Ask about adult supervision. Will the host parent be on the premises and visible?
• Be sure there will be no drugs or alcohol served or permitted at the party.
• Have a plan in place with your child that would have him or her leave immediately if the party becomes unsafe, or unsupervised (i.e. text or call, leave, where to meet).
• Set expectations of safe driving rules, offer rides, who can drive, where they can go in the car.
Communication is key. Talk to your children. Talk to other parents. Let your children know that you’ve joined the Safe Homes Network and discuss the program’s objectives and the pledge with them. Be awake when your children come home at night. Assure them that you will pick them up any time, any place if they feel their situation is unsafe.
When Your Child Hosts a Gathering
• As the host parent, remain visible.
• Talk to your teen beforehand about what you expect.
• Set a reasonable end time for the event - no open ended parties.
• Set reasonable limits on the number of friends that can be invited.
• Encourage “invitation only” gatherings.
• Consider refusing entrance to “party crashers”. It’s your home, you get to decide.
• Tell the guests who choose to leave that they may not return later
• Remove or lock up your liquor, marijuana and prescription medications to avoid temptation.
• Call the parents of those who arrive under the influence of any substance. Do not allow them to leave, drive or go home alone.
• Teens bringing in water bottles or other containers should be asked to leave them with you.
• Serve canned or bottled drinks to discourage the addition of alcohol.
When You Go Away for the Weekend and Leave Your Child Behind
• Arrange for your teen to stay with a friend, relative or sitter. If staying at a friend’s house, speak with their parents or guardians before you leave.
• Call home often.
• If you need to leave your teen home alone, speak to neighbors and friends. Ask them to keep an eye on your child and home.
• Don’t hesitate to notify the police of your absence, and share this with your child.
• Although you trust your child, remove or lock up your liquor, marijuana and prescriptions to alleviate or avoid temptation.