Sides

The following sides will be used in audition to showcase acting skills. You are not required to memorize these, but it will be helpful for you to be familiar with each of them.

Letters

By Mrs. Evelyn Merritt

SIDE ONE- JIM (Civil War)

Dear Father and Mother. The weather is unbelievable. I’ve never been so cold. My fingers and my feet, they never seem to get warm. And we’ve got nothing proper to cover them with. The tents are covered with ice and it seems near impossible to keep warm and dry. I feel like I haven’t been warm since I left home. A good many of the men are sick. It’s impossible to keep up morale when we are so bound in by the weather. One of the men received a pair of socks and there was almost a brawl to grab them from him. It’s not something we approve of. But it keeps them warm. We’ve even had to cease the drills. We must make it through this weather. We must. As you are well aware, we are here for such great purpose. It’s not easy, but war never is. War is not supposed to be easy. I am well and in good health besides.

Letters

By Mrs. Evelyn Merritt

SIDE TWO- JANICE, SHAUNA, and TAMMY (Vietnam War)

JANICE

I got a letter from Richie!

SHAUNA

What does he say?

JANICE

He says Vietnam is stinking hot.

TAMMY

Who cares?

SHAUNA

Tammy!

JANICE

I care.

TAMMY

You can’t trust anything he says.

SHAUNA

What are you trying-

JANICE

Richie tells me everything. Everything. We don’t have any secrets.

TAMMY

Stupid war.

SHAUNA

Don’t say that.

TAMMY

Why not?

JANICE

Richie tells me everything.

TAMMY

You don’t know.

SHAUNA

Tammy I can’t believe you. After Tyler-

TAMMY

What about Tyler? Tyler’s dead. Dead for nothing and no reason.

JANICE

Don’t say that! He fought for us.

SHAUNA

You know he did.

TAMMY

All he did was write about the weather too. If all that’s going on over there is bad weather, how come guys keep ending up shot to pieces?

Letters

By Mrs. Evelyn Merritt

SIDE THREE- HARRIET and LEWIS (Civil War)

HARRIET

For every unsure step in this war and there is so much I am unsure about, being here is not one of them. Who is going to care for these poor souls? Keep the women from wounded. Ridiculous!

LEWIS

I smell death all the time. Occasionally it drifts across the room and I know that someone has lost their fight.

HARRIET

Will the doctors change their bedding? Write their letters? Talk to them?

LEWIS

Occasionally the smell comes from me.

HARRIET

Who’s going to pay attention to the deplorable conditions?

LEWIS

I have to believe that I am going to be around for a long time. I have to believe I will live through this. I must have hope. I must believe there is a means to this end.

HARRIET

Who will comfort the dying? Who will absorb the cries and groans? The moaning hangs in the air like a cloud.

LEWIS

I don’t suppose I could get a hint or sign?

HARRIET

Some feel it is improper for me to be here. Eunice I don’t mean to upset you.

LEWIS

And yet I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid of dying.

HARRIET

But I feel very strongly about this. There is no other place I should be.

LEWIS

How is that? How am I not afraid of dying. How is that possible? So many nights in the field shaking in my boots. And now I’m not afraid. Funny.

HARRIET

I will stand by my boys until there is not one of them left. Woe to the person who tempts to remove me from my post.

MMMbeth

By Allison Williams

SIDE ONE- HAGGY, NAGGY, and TWIT

HAGGY

When shall we three meet again?

In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

NAGGY

When the hurly-burly’s done,

When the battle’s lost and won.

TWIT

I think I could do next Tuesday- does that work for you two?

NAGGY

No, Tuesday’s bad for me- I’m taking this great folk dancing class.

TWIT

OOOOO! How exciting!

HAGGY

Will you two shut up! Honestly the only one who gets any witching done around here is me!

NAGGY

Sorry.

TWIT

Sorry.

HAGGY

Now, if we can get back in the mood? Ahem. When shall we three meet again?

NAGGY

We shall meet when he is due.

TWIT

The spirits say he comes at two. Well two-ish really. You know how the spirits are… Oops, sorry.

HAGGY

Right then. I want everyone back here at two. Hair ratted, faces pale, fingernails sharpened, and make sure you go before you come. No dashing off to the privy mid-prophecy. We’ve been waiting for him for a long time.

TWIT

We’re going to get that Mac-

HAGGY

Don’t say it!

TWIT

What? Mac-

HAGGY and NAGGY

Don’t say it!

NAGGY

Look, Twit. Everybody knows that when you say the name of this play something bad happens!

TWIT

But we’re witches! Powerful! Otherworldly! Spooooooooooooky!

HAGGY

There are things in the theatre, Twit, undreamt of in your philosophy.

MMMbeth

By Allison Williams

SIDE TWO- MMMBETH and LADY MMMBETH

MMMBETH

Honey I’m home! Isn’t it great that we get to have Queen Duncan over for a sleep over?

LADY MMMBETH

It’s fabulous! We can have the murder and the coronation in the same place!

MMMBETH

Murder? Coronation?

LADY MMMBETH

You know! The witches said you would be king! Which would make me queen. Mmmmm… Queen Lady Mmmbeth. No time like the present.

MMMBETH

Honey, I’m sure I’ll be king sooner or later. Queen Duncan probably only has 40 or 50 years left.

LADY MMMBETH

I am not waiting 50 years! I want that crown while I am still young enough to seduce the footman.

MMMBETH

But we can’t kill Queen Duncan, she’s nice!

LADY MMMBETH

Oh, too bad.

MMMBETH

What?

LADY MMMBETH

I thought that I was married to a real man! Not some wussy little girl.

MMMBETH

Hey!

LADY MMMBETH

I want a real Man! Hey handsome-

MMMBETH

Stop it! All right, all right, I’ll kill Duncan so you can be the Queen!

LADY MMMBETH

That’s my little Macky Whacky! Screw your courage to the sticking place and let’s go get started on the plan.

MMMbeth

By Allison Williams

SIDE THREE- QUEEN DUNCAN, SOLDIER 1, and SOLDIER 2

DUNCAN

Well done boys! A great victory!

SOLDIER 1

Aww, thanks Queen Duncan.

DUNCAN

Now we can return home to pass out some honors. And then get back to ruling Scotland. Long live the Queen! Long live me!

SOLDIER 2

Yeah…. About that…

DUNCAN

What?

SOLDIER 2

For about another three scenes your majesty.

DUNCAN

WHAT?

SOLDIER 1

Umm, you- well, you aren’t in the whole play.

DUNCAN

Impossible! I am the ruler of Scotland, Commander of Thanes, Protector of the People, Leader of Armies! I dominate the play from start to finish! Beginning to end! And I have a great idea for a franchise opportunity.

SOLDIER 2

But-

DUNCAN

Isn’t this a play about the queen of Scotland?

SOLDIER 2

Kind of, but your part is more of a supporting role.

DUNCAN

I will support this entire play, as queen of Scotland!

SOLDIER 1

Queen Duncan, you die in Act 2.

DUNCAN

Inconceivable!