Story & Updates

Our sweet Zaylee Mae (Bae Bae or Baby girl) passed out in Preston's arm Wednesday morning. Which took a quick bad turn within seconds. She flat lined in his arms. Her eyes rolled back, her body became limp, her color was gone and her lips turned blue. Preston rushed her to Riverton Hospital as fast as he could. Knowing every second counts. We weren't sure how long Zaylee was without oxygen but we do know the drive was around 10-15 minutes. By the time I got to the hospital, they couldn't get an IV in her nor did she have a pulse. Once life flight showed up they were able to get an IV in her head. They flushed fluids as fast as her body would allow. Which then allowed for 4 more IVs to get in. They had to perform CPR on her little chest. They had a ventilator trying to breathe for her. My sweet sweet baby girl opened her eyes. I've never cried so hard in my life. She was finally stable enough to life flight her over to Primary Children. About 30-40 minutes later Zaylee started having seizures. 

-Ashli Larsen

We will keep Zaylee sedated for 48 hours. This will allow the brain to rest without getting overstimulated. We will check to see if the brain has any swelling along with any brain damage. With Zaylee going so long without oxygen, our main concern is what damage it did. We are hoping by Saturday or Sunday to do an MRI and get a better idea on how her brain is doing.

My heart is heavy. I woke up just balling this morning around 5am to my nightmares still going. As a parent and as a mom this is the last thing you want to EVER have to experience with your children. So many unknowns, with so many what if's. Trying to stay positive for our baby girl.

Zaylee Mae mommy loves you so much! You are so strong and beautiful!! You light up our family! You are loved by so many people. We are CHEERING you on!

Sending you all the LOVE and STRENGTH you need!

You got this girl! You are a fighter!

-Ashli Larsen

Bae bae had a few more seizures in the night. We don’t know how many yet. We will talk with the neurologist on their rounds this morning. One of her seizures she had dropped her blood pressure and her heart rate way too low. She is on two different seizure medications. Those ended up not stopping one of the seizures she had last night. They added a third medication. Her body was able to respond well. With her dropping so low on both blood pressure and heart rate, our goal this morning is to add a PICC line. Keep her blood pressure and heart rate the levels we want her to stay at. 

-Ashli Larsen

I got to hold my sweet sweet girl for the first time. 

-Ashli Larsen

 It’s with a very heavy heart to have to write this update. But our sweet sweet Zaylee Mae isn’t going to make it. Our hearts are angry our minds are confused. There’s nothing more I wish for than to be able to live out the life I dreamed of having with her. 

-Ashli Larsen

At 1:07am on November 10th our baby girl Zaylee Mae passed away peacefully in my arms. She became an angel in heaven. She will be awarded the greatest honor we can receive on this earth. How we will miss her unconditionally and pray for her daily. She blessed all of our lives. What a gift of light she was and still is. We will forever cherish our time we had with her. 💜💜💜

-Ashli Larsen

Preston and I just want to say from the bottom of our hearts. THANK YOU THANK YOU! For everyone’s LOVE and SUPPORT!! It means the absolute world to us. From the phone calls, to text, the flowers, the gift baskets, the visitors, the dinners, and most importantly the hugs and to hold us why we just bail our eyes out in your arms. Everyone means so much to us. We LOVE you guys so much. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING! We need you guys more than anything. Love Ash and Preston 💜💜💜

-Ashli Larsen

Today Preston and I got to see our sweet baby girl. We haven’t been able to see her since Monday when we released her to the mortuary. Trying to find peace with everything seems far away. But today was so good to see her and hold her again. I love you so much baby girl. Love mommy 💜💜💜

-Ashli Larsen

Today was the last day I got to dress you, play with your hair and hold you in my arms. Our sweet Zaylee Mae was laid to rest in her blessings dress. A dress that hold a lot of special meaning to me. When we found out we were having a girl. I told Preston I wanted to cut up my wedding dress and make Zaylee a blessing dress out. I contacted the lady that did alterations to my dress and without any hesitation she was on board with my crazy plans. The dresses turned out more beautiful than I imagined. It was perfect for our perfect little girl. 

You guys it fit her PERFECTLY! Like I bailed my eyes out. She looks BEAUTIFUL! When we made her dress I told her I wanted it extra long. It still went past her cute little toes. Kinlee and Preston came to help get her ready. As hard as it was knowing the next two days were going to be the hardest day of our lives. An overwhelming feeling of love and happiness fill my heart. I know she is happy. I know I got the best guardian angel looking over me. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I know it will never be full again. I miss you baby girl! Mommy love you so much. 💜💜💜

-Ashli Larsen

Viewing for our sweet Zaylee Mae. The amount of love and effort that went into every detail was made with love! It turned out better then I imagined it to be. For as hard as it is planning a funeral for someone so little. I knew I could hand it over to three special people. Tasha Lambourne (Aunt), Debbie Workman (Grandma) and Summer Hunt (Aka Aunt Funner). The love they put into very little detail was perfect for our Zaylee Mae. Thank you Thank you!! 💜

The only thing I wanted to incorporate was the color purple. We did purple for Zaylee’s newborn and first birthday. So it felt fitting! The theme they came up with was a Tea party. ( I bailed my eyes out when I saw the envision) every little detail was perfect for a little girl, that never got to have her first tea party. 

First night we did a viewing from 6-8. The amount of love and support we got was incredible. The hugs, the thoughtful words, and just the love in the room was so special. Preston and I are beyond grateful for our village of people supporting us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We truly are so blessed!

-Ashli Larsen

Click this video to see the memorial display

Today is my last day of physically holding your hand, kissing your chubby cheeks, looking at your beautiful face, and simply being in your presence. I wasn’t ready to let you go the morning of November 10th, and this goodbye feels just as impossible.

I knew that once I closed that casket and laid you to rest. I would never again be able to physically hold you. My mama heart was not ready for this. I cry more than I ever have in my life. I miss you more than words could ever express.

Zaylee Mae, I hope you know how deeply loved you are and how deeply missed you are. So much love and care went into planning such a beautiful, heartbreaking day in your honor. Every person we chose for your service means something special to Daddy and me. Every little detail reflected your contagious personality. I hope you felt the love that surrounded you that day the way Daddy and I did.

I couldn’t be more proud of your siblings. The courage it took for them to stand in front of everyone on such a painful day was incredible. Bryatt learned and memorized his “Sissy song” just for you. The emotion he poured into singing and playing the guitar was felt so deeply. He even put so much thought into his cowboy outfit. Wanting everything to be perfect for his baby sister.

Kinlee sang her heart out. She wasn’t sure she was strong enough, but she was determined to give her baby sister one last song. Her beautiful voice filled the room with love.

And Kannon oh that boy. He was made for the spotlight. He talks about you every day. He tells everyone “Bae Bae is in Heaven. We talk to her by saying prayers.”

I am scared to do life without you physically here. Each day feels harder than the last. Another morning waking up to the reality that you are gone. I am trying to take baby steps toward healing my broken heart. Learning how to laugh again, how to smile, how to enjoy the little things. But guilt and sadness rush through my body in overwhelming waves. I can’t control it. All I know how to do is cry and sit at your grave in pain.

This pain feels bigger than me. How am I supposed to raise my family when my family isn’t complete?

Until we meet again, Zaylee Mae. Mommy and Daddy love you more than anything. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. It has been an honor. 510 days of your presence was not enough, but those 510 days will forever live deep in my heart.

I love you, Zaylee Mae. 💜💜💜

-Ashli Larsen

It’s been one month since you have been gone. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you, miss your smile or wish I could hear your contagious laughter. Oh baby girl mommy misses you. I miss you so much I am numb. Coping with this kind of pain hurts. Hurts in ways I never knew existed. My brain is confused. I feel like I just lost you but I feel like it’s been longer then a month. We all are doing our best to cope. We talk about you like you’re still here. Come visit us Bae Bae! Love mommy

-Ashli Larsen

To most this would mean absolutely nothing. To me it means entirely everything.

In all my time I’ve spent in my life at the gym I’ve never seen a colored handle like this. Let alone purple. 

I saw it from clear across the gym and immediately stopped what I was doing and kicked my scooter as fast as I could like I was 10 again. 

I grabbed it with tears building,  almost subconsciously making sure it was actually real. In that moment baby girl was there. I felt her . It was almost like we  were working out together for the first and last time. I got to train with her, something I’d always looked forward to doing. 

Visits and signs like this is what keeps me going, a tender mercy from our heavenly father sent for me and me alone. I know he knows me personally, individually, and intimately. 

I can only be so grateful and continue to pray for these special moments to keep happening in the future. I promise if you Look for them, you will find them. She is all around us. 

Doctrine and Covenants 84 Verse 88

And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

-Preston Larsen

January 10th 2026 

2 months of living without you. Why is this my reality. Why did you have to leave so soon. I am angry to say the least. I am frustrated I don’t get to live the life I dreamed of having with you. I am angry with God. When people tell me he is aware of my pain or that I should lean into him. It’s because of him, I am in this situation. It’s because of him I no longer get to have you here. So NO I am not ready to hear those words. Or to give my pain and suffering to him. I scream with frustration. I cry nonstop because the pain is so intense. The grief of losing a child is unbearable. To wake up everyday without you is hard. To navigate a new normal is hard. Everything feels impossible. But one’s thing for damn sure. My love for you will never stop. I will speak your name everyday. I will always be here when you need me baby girl! I love you mommy.

Three months without you.

Three months since the world kept moving while mine shattered.

Doing life without you hurts in ways I can’t explain. I feel guilty for the smallest moments of joy. Things that should feel light but now feel heavy. The triggers come without warning. Stealing my breath when I least expect it.

Kannon sleeps with your pillow and blanket every single night. It’s his way of keeping you close. Bryatt and Kinlee are struggling so deeply with your absence. They need to feel you near. I hope somehow they do. As time passes the pain feels sharper because reality settles in you’re not coming back. Their hearts hurt. They miss you so much!

I find myself only wanting to wear purple. Purple means everything to me now. Even Kannon will point out purple things and say your name. He misses his best friend!

I often find myself wondering what heaven is like. What work was so important that you had to leave us so soon.

Daddy and I received your autopsy results. I can’t bring myself to open them yet. I bawled just holding the papers while dad held me tight in his arms. I’m terrified of what they might say. I’m scared it will come back inconclusive or worse that the cause will be something I could have done differently. Something that could have saved you.

The guilt consumes me. I replay everything over and over in my mind. What signs did I miss? Why didn’t I take you to the hospital the night before? Would that have changed everything? I carry this unbearable weight. Feeling like I failed you. Like I didn’t protect you the way a mother should. These thoughts are so heavy they feel like they take over my entire body.

I miss you more than words could ever say. We all do. Every second. Every day.

Three months of loving you from here and missing you forever. 💜

-Ashli Larsen

Kannon missing Bae Bae conversation

 I forget about this little boy’s feelings and how he truly is coping through this. Because he can’t truly express himself. I need to remember these little whining moments and burst emotions of frustration is his little hearts way of expressing his emotions. Kannon misses his best friend more than any of us truly understand. My mama heart hurts for him. For all of them to go through this pain.    

Bae Bae please visit us. We all want you here with us. 

Kannon: Mommy I miss Bae Bae 

Mommy: (Crying) She misses you very much. 

Kannon: (Crying hysterically) Pointing to Bae Bae I miss Bae Bae. 

Mommy: I miss her so much too. Kannon Bae Bae loves and misses you so much. 

Kannon: I want to play toys with Bae Bae

Mommy: She would love to play toys with you. ( just crying while trying to comfort him. I text Preston. Preston comes in and hold us both while the three of us cry on Kannon’s bed.)

Kannon: When the sun wakes up. I will be Happy

Mommy: Yes Kannon. When the sun wakes up. You will be so happy that you rested your little body. You’re so tired and it’s time for bed. 

Kannon: loosing it…. Mommy I miss Bae Bae. 

Mommy: Lets say pray and talk to her. ( the whole pray we cried. ) 

This little boy has a big heart. He gets triggered just as much as we all are. Even someone so little has emotions that come in waves. We are all learning how to cope with the unbearable pain.

-Ashli and Kannon Larsen

Four months without you, our sweet baby girl.

I still don’t understand how the world has kept moving when ours shattered the day we lost you.

This milestone has broken me in ways I wasn’t prepared for. The grief isn’t just in my heart anymore — it lives in my whole body. I feel physically exhausted, mentally shattered, and emotionally torn apart. Some days I wake up and for a moment I forget… and then it hits me all over again that you’re really gone.

And the pain is unbearable.

There is so much anger inside me. Anger that you were taken from us. Anger that we didn’t get the lifetime with you that we were supposed to have. Some days I find myself screaming and crying to the sky, begging for answers that never come. Asking why they took you. Why our Bae Bae.

I sit in your room a lot lately. Just sitting there, surrounded by your things, trying to feel close to you. Thinking about the life you should still be living. The birthdays, the laughs, the milestones, the moments we were supposed to share with you. All the things you should still get to experience.

Four months feels impossible. It feels cruel that this is our reality now.

Kannon asks about you all the time and if you can come to our house to play. I think he’s starting to understand more that you aren’t coming back, and watching that realization slowly settle in his heart is another kind of heartbreak. He loves you so much. His heart misses you too.

There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t ache for you. Our hearts will always long for you, for your voice, your smile, your presence in our lives.

You will always be our baby girl. Always a part of us.

We love you forever and miss you more than words will ever be able to say. 💜💜💜

-Ashli Larsen

5 months without you baby girl 💔

This month has been especially hard. Bryatt had his first home lacrosse game… and you weren’t there. Kinlee had another dance competition and you should have been there cheering her on. I sat in my car before it started just crying trying to pull myself together.

Some days the anger hits so deep. This is my reality and I hate it. I scream, I cry, I feel like I could break under the weight of missing you.

Kannon longs for a friend. We’ve been going to the park and on walks with the nice weather and one day a little boy was so unkind to him. It broke me in a way I can’t explain. I texting your dad just so upset that you aren’t here that Kannon has to grow up in this world without you by his side.

Your absence is loud. It’s everywhere. And it hurts so much.

I find myself holding onto little things… like butterfly season coming soon hoping I’ll feel you a little closer. I’ve even started planning your birthday and it’s overwhelming trying to hold all these emotions at once.

5 months… and it feels just as heavy, just as painful as the day I felt your heartbeat fade away.

I miss you every second of every day. I love you forever, Zaylee 💜

-Ashli Larsen

We had the opportunity to attend the Primary Children’s Memorial Tribute honoring the 2025 children who were taken from this world far too soon. It’s an event no family ever hopes to be part of yet it was deeply meaningful to stand alongside others who understand this kind of loss.

Primary Children’s did a beautiful job capturing each child’s light in the memorial video. Every detail of the evening reflected love, care, and a genuine effort to make each family feel seen, supported, and validated in their grief.

There was a tribute wall featuring 44 incredible children each one so loved. Each one gone too soon. Seeing their faces in those black and white portraits was both heartbreaking and beautiful.

We were given butterflies to release after the program but because of the weather we brought them home instead. In a way that felt fitting something fragile and meaningful we could hold onto just a little longer.

Not a day goes by that we don’t talk about our sweet Zaylee Mae. We miss you more than words can ever express. Some days still don’t feel real. There are mornings I wake up expecting to see you running through the house full of life keeping everyone in line.

Until we meet again…

We think about you always, We talk about you still, You have never been forgotten, and you never will. We hold you close within our hearts and there you will remain, to walk and guide us through our lives, Until We Meet Again!

-Ashli Larsen