Thank you for signing up for the online "Male Intimacy and Relationships" class (CRN 34825, 3 units), which starts on August 31st- December 22nd, 2026. This is a fully online class with no required on-campus meetings. We'll be using the learning management system called Canvas to learn and build a class community.
Evaluate the impact of male socialization and homophobia on gay male relationships.
Analyze relationship issues related to same sex male dating, intimacy, and sex.
Analyze the impact of intersectional differences on male same sex relationships.
Listen effectively, communicate clearly, and resolve conflicts with men in dating and intimate relationships.
Compare theories regarding sexual identity formation, partner attraction, and communication patterns.
I am excited that you are taking this journey this semester through this course. We will study gay and queer male relationships from a variety of perspectives. Although we will rely heavily upon the personal experiences of class members, we will also examine biological, psychological, social, cultural, and legal influences upon our ability to relate. Students will gain a better understanding of how to seek and participate in more satisfying relationships as well as how understand and cope with the many forces that impact them.
This class is an opportunity for you to learn the foundational skills necessary to meet, get into, and sustain an intimate relationship. Knowing that each of us is different, and has different experiences and backgrounds, this course is designed to support you on furthering your personal path to developing and maintaining intimate relationships. Previous relationship experience is not required! This class is also open to all students, regardless of sexual orientation, gender, or gender identity. Many of the skills and tools we will be learning will be applicable to all types of relationships, but the focus of the course will be one building relationships and intimacy between men.
This course will be conducted completely online. Make sure to set aside time throughout the week to complete readings, assignments, and post on the discussion board. This course will take an average of 9 hours per week for seventeen weeks. Please set aside time for reading the textbook (1-2 hours per week), completing assignments (1-3 hours per week), watching videos (1-2 hours per week) and responding to forums (1-2 hours per week) and other miscellaneous activities like reading the website, communicating with other students and the instructor, working on your culminating project. I suggest logging in every day for an hour or so, but if that is impossible, please consider logging in as much as possible, the fewer times you log in, the longer your sessions will need to be. The obvious advantage of an online course is that you do not need to be on campus to attend class every week, but you do need to set aside enough time to complete the reading and assignments. If you are new to online classes, or could use additional support, see the resource section at the end of the letter.
This class is a community. We all have the same objective: to learn. Online students often feel isolated but it's important to know you are not in this alone! I need each of you to approach our online class with a great attitude and a willingness to help each other. Many problems and questions can be resolved by asking a fellow student. I am always here to help you but I truly believe your experience will be better if you communicate with your fellow students throughout the semester. Let's work together to make this semester great for everyone!
Be sure to thoroughly review all this information. If you still have any course-related questions or concerns, please email or call me. My preferred method of contact is email at ekaufman@ccsf.edu, the Canvas Inbox once you get logged in to the course, or by phone 415-939-3356. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact me along the way. I am excited and honored to be your instructor, and I am here to support your success in this course.
The course is divided into sixteen weekly modules. Each weekly module will appear in the Modules section of the course. To get started each week, closely review the Overview page at the start of each module, which list the learning objectives and required assignments for the week. A Week-by-Week Schedule of scored activities and assessments is available below.
There are 2 textbooks required for the class:
Isensee, Rik, (2005). Love Between Men, ISBN-10: 0-595-34146-2 Buy the Book
Downs, Alan PhD. (2012). The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man’s world. Da Capo Press, ISBN: 9 780738215679
These books were chosen because they are good resource materials for queer men, something you can returns well after the class is over. The Velvet Rage is available at the CCSF bookstore, but you can find much cheaper copies of both books on Amazon and Kindle!
Throughout the semester, you will be required to read chapters in the book and then take quizzes on their content.
Day Class Begins: Monday August 31, 2026
Day Class Ends: Tuesday December 22nd, 2026
Last Day to Add: Tuesday September 22nd, 2026
Last Day to Drop with refund: Sunday September 13th, 2026
Last Day to Drop without a 'W' symbol: Tuesday September 22nd, 2026
Last Day to Opt for Pass/No Pass: Monday November 23rd, 2026
Last Day to Drop with a W or apply for leave of absence: Monday November 23rd, 2026
Below is a detailed description of the learning modules for the class.
In Community,
Eddie Kaufman L.C.S.W.
ekaufman@ccsf.edu
In this unit, you will develop an understanding of the topics to be covered in the course, get to know your instructor and fellow students, and explore some of the common myths about male relationships.
Assignments Points Available
1. Discussion Forum- Why are you taking the class? 10
2. LGBT 24 Slideshow 10
In this unit, you will unpack the myth and underlying themes of the chronically single gay man. You will recognize common challenges that chronically single gay men face and how to address those challenges. You will understand the term – the velvet rage- and how it applies to queer men.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Challenges in Developing a Relationship 10
Quiz- Chronically Single Gay Men 10
In this unit, you will develop an understanding of the LGBT coming out process and how it impacts self- esteem and relationship formation. You will also identify the impact of gender roles and gender role socialization and shame on identity development.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Growing up 10
Discussion Forum- Coming Out 10
Recognizing that the majority of men are using online dating sites, in this unit you will examine the array of online dating sites and apps. You will identify common challenges and benefits in utilizing these sites, while determining a method of communication that embodies your personality and personal values.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- What’s Up with Apps? 10
Developing your Dating Profile 25
In this unit, you will be able to understand the difference between cruising and flirting. You will also acquire some tips and suggestions to feel comfortable practicing flirting, regardless of your age, looks, or experience.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Meeting Someone New 10
Flirting Scavenger Hunt 25
In this unit, we will explore the world of same sex dating. You will have the opportunity to discuss the written and unwritten expectations that you have regarding dating, and well as compile a list of tips to make your dates more fun and productive.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- What Qualities do you Look for? 10
Class Collaboration- Successful Dating Handbook 25
In this unit, student will begin to understand the process that causes “He” and “He” to become a “We”- exploring issues of developing intimacy and maintaining autonomy.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Balancing Intimacy and Autonomy 10
Rescuer’s Triangle Quiz 10
In this unit, students will understand why they develop the same issues in relationships, regardless of their partner. Additionally, student will learn about the relationship stages gay male couples go through.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- What’s your Imago? 10
Male Couple Relationship Stages Quiz 10
In this unit, students will learn the fundamentals of Empathic and Active Listening Skills.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Listening Skills Reflection 10
Empathetic Listening Quiz 10
In this unit, students will learn about the range of communication styles- from passive to assertive to aggressive. Student will also learn about Chapman’s 5 love Languages and identify which love languages they speak.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Being Assertive Reflection 10
Communication Styles Examples 10
In this unit, students will learn about some of the most common sources of conflict in relationships, and how negotiating conflicts can build a relationship’s foundation.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Dealing with Conflict 10
Solving Problems Quiz 10
In this unit, students will learn about how various dimensions of difference- including ethnicity, culture, class, and religion- impact intimate relationships.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Dating Across Culture 10
Class Collaboration- Successful Cross Cultural Relationships 25
Thanksgiving Week- No Class- November 23rd- November 28th
Over the last 30 years, HIV has gone from frightening epidemic to a manageable condition. In this unit, student will explore how HIV, Treatments, and PREP have changed the landscape for male relationships.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Love and HIV 10
HIV and PREP Quiz 10
In this unit, students will be exposed to the continuum of male relationships- ranging from monogamy to polyamory. Students will also understand strategies and agreements to make their relationships supportive and intentional.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Monogamy or Non-monogany? 10
Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Polyamory Quiz 10
In this unit, students will learn about how alcohol and drug use impacts intimate relationships between men. Students will also an opportunity to assess their own alcohol and drug use. Students will understand the dynamics of dating and partner violence, and receive resources on where to go for help.
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Partner Violence Reflection 10
How much is too much? When is it a problem? 10
In this unit, students will learn how to deal with the end of a relationship, including how to cope with the associated grief and loss. Students will gain insights into ways to make the ending of a relationship a constructive experience
Assignments Points Available
Discussion Forum- Dealing with Loss 10
Ending a Relationship Quiz 10
Extra Credit- Course Feedback 25
There is a total of 380 points for all the required assignments in the course. Throughout the course there will be extra credit assignments integrated into the Learning Units.
Letter Grades in the course will be as follows:
A 380-342
B 341-304
C 303-266
D 265-228
F 227-0
Students: If you need additional support and services, please access the Disabled Students Programs and Services: https://www.ccsf.edu/student-services/support-programs/disabled-students-programs-services.