LGBT 24- Male Intimacy and Relationships- Spring 2024

Instructor Eddie Kaufman L.C.S.W. 

Welcome!

Thank you for signing up for the online "Male Intimacy and Relationships" class (CRN 34825, 3 units), which starts on January 29th- May 22, 2024. This is a fully online class with no required on-campus meetings. We'll be using the learning management system called Canvas, to learn and build a class community.  

Course Learning Outcomes:

1. Evaluate the impact of male socialization and homophobia on gay male relationships.

2. Analyze relationship issues related to same sex male dating, intimacy, and sex.

3. Analyze the impact of intersectional differences on male same sex relationships.

4. Listen effectively, communicate clearly, and resolve conflicts with men in dating and intimate relationships.

5. Compare theories regarding sexual identity formation, partner attraction, and communication patterns.
   
   

What to Expect from this Course:

I am excited that you are taking this journey this semester through this course. We will study gay and queer male relationships from a variety of perspectives.  Although we will rely heavily upon the personal experiences of class members, we will also examine biological, psychological, social, cultural, and legal influences upon our ability to relate.  Students will gain a better understanding of how to seek and participate in more satisfying relationships as well as how understand and cope with the many forces that impact them.  

This class is an opportunity for you to learn the foundational skills necessary to meet, get into, and sustain an intimate relationship.  Knowing that each of us is different, and has different experiences and backgrounds, this course is designed to support you on furthering your personal path to developing and maintaining intimate relationships.  Previous relationship experience is not required! This class is also open to all students, regardless of sexual orientation, gender, or gender identity.  Many of the skills and tools we will be learning will be applicable to all types of relationships, but the focus of the course will be one building relationships and intimacy between men. 

Course Expectations 

This course will be conducted completely online.  Make sure to set aside time throughout the week to complete readings, assignments, and post on the discussion board. This course will take an average of 9 hours per week for seventeen weeks. Please set aside time for reading the textbook (1-2 hours per week), completing assignments (1-3 hours per week), watching videos (1-2 hours per week) and responding to forums (1-2 hours per week) and other miscellaneous activities like reading the website, communicating with other students and the instructor, working on your culminating project. I suggest logging in every day for an hour or so, but if that is impossible, please consider logging in as much as possible, the fewer times you log in, the longer your sessions will need to be. The obvious advantage of an online course is that you do not need to be on campus to attend class every week, but you do need to set aside enough time to complete the reading and assignments.  If you are new to online classes, or could use additional support, see the resource section at the end of the letter. 

Building Community

This class is a community. We all have the same objective: to learn. Online students often feel isolated but it's important to know you are not in this alone! I need each of you to approach our online class with a great attitude and a willingness to help each other. Many problems and questions can be resolved by asking a fellow student. I am always here to help you but I truly believe your experience will be better if you communicate with your fellow students throughout the semester. Let's work together to make this semester great for everyone!

Welcome to class!

Be sure to thoroughly review all this information. If you still have any course-related questions or concerns, please email or call me. My preferred method of contact is email at ekaufman@ccsf.edu, the Canvas Inbox once you get logged in to the course, or by phone 415-939-3356. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact me along the way. I am excited and honored to be your instructor, and I am here to support your success in this course. 

Weekly Outline

The course is divided into sixteen weekly modules. Each weekly module will appear in the Modules section of the course. To get started each week, closely review the Overview page at the start of each module, which list the learning objectives and required assignments for the week. A Week-by-Week Schedule of scored activities and assessments is available below.

Textbooks:

There are 2 textbooks required for the class:

• Isensee, Rik, (2005). Love Between Men,  ISBN-10: 0-595-34146-2  Buy the Book
  
  

• Downs, Alan PhD. (2012). The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man’s world. Da Capo Press, ISBN: 9 780738215679
  
  

These books were chosen because they are good resource materials for queer men, something you can returns well after the class is over. The Velvet Rage is available at the CCSF bookstore, but you can find much cheaper copies of both books on Amazon and Kindle!

Throughout the semester, you will be required to read chapters in the book and then take quizzes on their content.  

Important Semester Deadlines- 16 Week Classes

• Day Class Begins: Monday January 29th, 2024 

• Day Class Ends: Wednesday May 22, 2024

• Last Day to Add: February 15th, 2024

• Last Day to Drop with refund: February 7th, 2024

• Last Day to Drop without a 'W' symbol: February 15th, 2024

• Last Day to Opt for Pass/No Pass: Not Available for this class

• Last Day to Drop with a W or apply for leave of absence: April 25th, 2024

Below is a detailed description of the learning modules for the class. 

 In Community,

Eddie Kaufman L.C.S.W.

ekaufman@ccsf.edu

Course Schedule

Unit 1- Overview of the Course- Class Introductions

Monday January 29th- Sunday February 4th  

In this unit, you will develop an understanding of the topics to be covered in the course, get to know your instructor and fellow students, and explore some of the common myths about male relationships. 

Assignments                                                                                                                                                 Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Why are you taking the class?                                                                        10

2. LGBT 24 Slideshow                                                                                                                        10

Unit 2- Chronically Single Gay Men- Myth or Reality?

Monday February 5th - Sunday February 11th

In this unit, you will unpack the myth and underlying themes of the chronically single gay man.  You will recognize common challenges that chronically single gay men face and how to address those challenges. You will understand the term – the velvet rage- and how it applies to queer men. 

Assignments                                                                                                                                              Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Challenges in Developing a Relationship                                10
   
   

2. Quiz- Chronically Single Gay Men                                                                                        10
   
   

Unit 3- Growing Up and Coming Out

Monday February 12th - Sunday February 18th

In this unit, you will develop an understanding of the LGBT coming out process and how it impacts self- esteem and relationship formation. You will also identify the impact of gender roles and gender role socialization and shame on identity development.  

Assignments                                                                                                                                             Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Growing up                                                                                             10
   
   

2. Discussion Forum- Coming Out                                                                                            10
   
   

Unit 4- Apps- The World of Online Dating 

Monday February 19th- Sunday February 25th

Recognizing that the majority of men are using online dating sites, in this unit you will examine the array of online dating sites and apps. You will identify common challenges and benefits in utilizing these sites, while determining a method of communication that embodies your personality and personal values.

Assignments                                                                                                                                            Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- What’s Up with Apps?                                                                    10
   
   

2.  Developing your Dating Profile                                                                                      25
   
   

Unit 5- The Art of Flirting- Developing Human Connection 

Monday February 26th - Sunday March 3rd

In this unit, you will be able to understand the difference between cruising and flirting.  You will also acquire some tips and suggestions to feel comfortable practicing flirting, regardless of your age, looks, or experience. 

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Meeting Someone New                                                                10
   
   

2. Flirting Scavenger Hunt                                                                                                          25
   
   

Unit 6- Negotiating the Dating Scene 

Monday March 4th - Sunday March 10th

In this unit, we will explore the world of same sex dating.  You will have the opportunity to discuss the written and unwritten expectations that you have regarding dating, and well as compile a list of tips to make your dates more fun and productive.

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- What Qualities do you Look for?                                              10
   
   

2. Class Collaboration- Successful Dating Handbook                                                 25
   
   

Unit 7- Developing Intimacy- Becoming a We 

Monday March 11th- Sunday March 17th

In this unit, student will begin to understand the process that causes “He” and “He” to become a “We”- exploring issues of developing intimacy and maintaining autonomy.   

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Balancing Intimacy and Autonomy                                         10
   
   

2. Rescuer’s Triangle Quiz                                                                                                           10
    

Unit 8- Stages and Dynamics within couples 

Monday March 18th - Sunday March 24

In this unit, students will understand why they develop the same issues in relationships, regardless of their partner.  Additionally, student will learn about the relationship stages gay male couples go through.  

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- What’s your Imago?                                                                         10
   
   

2. Male Couple Relationship Stages Quiz                                                                         10
   
   

Unit 9-Listening Skills  

Monday March 25th - Sunday March 31st

In this unit, students will learn the fundamentals of Empathic and Active Listening Skills. 

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Listening Skills Reflection                                                           10
   
   

2. Empathetic Listening Quiz                                                                                                    10

Unit 10-Communication Styles

Monday April 1st - Sunday April 7th

In this unit, students will learn about the range of communication styles- from passive to assertive to aggressive.  Student will also learn about Chapman’s 5 love Languages and identify which love languages they speak.  

Assignments                                                                                                                                          Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Being Assertive Reflection                                                          10
   
   

2. Communication Styles Examples                                                                                      10
   
   

Spring Recess Monday April 8th- Sunday April 14th

Unit 11- Conflict Negotiation- Using problems to strengthen your relationship

Monday April 15th - Sunday April 21st

In this unit, students will learn about some of the most common sources of conflict in relationships, and how negotiating conflicts can build a relationship’s foundation.

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Dealing with Conflict                                                                       10
   
   

2. Solving Problems Quiz                                                                                                             10
    

Unit 12-The Intersection of Class, Culture, and Religion- Cross-Cultural Relationships

Monday April 22nd - Sunday April 28th

In this unit, students will learn about how various dimensions of difference- including ethnicity, culture, class, and religion- impact intimate relationships.

Assignments                                                                                                                                           Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Dating Across Culture                                                                    10
   
   

2. Class Collaboration- Successful Cross Cultural Relationships                          25       
   
   

Unit 13-Love and HIV in the Age of PREP 

Monday April 29th- Sunday May 5th

Over the last 30 years, HIV has gone from frightening epidemic to a manageable condition.  In this unit, student will explore how HIV, Treatments, and PREP have changed the landscape for male relationships.

Assignments                                                                                                                                          Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Love and HIV                                                                                      10
   
   

2. HIV and PREP Quiz                                                                                                                   10
   
   

Unit 14- Monogamy, Non-monogamy, and Polyamory- the spectrum of male relationships

Monday May 6th - Sunday May 12th

In this unit, students will be exposed to the continuum of male relationships- ranging from monogamy to polyamory. Students will also understand strategies and agreements to make their relationships supportive and intentional. 

Assignments                                                                                                                                         Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Monogamy or Non-monogany?                                       10
   
   

2.  Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Polyamory Quiz                                               10
   
   

Unit 15-How Alcohol, Drugs, and Partner Violence Affect Relationships

Monday May 13th - Wednesday May 22nd

In this unit, students will learn about how alcohol and drug use impacts intimate relationships between men.  Students will also an opportunity to assess their own alcohol and drug use.  Students will understand the dynamics of dating and partner violence, and receive resources on where to go for help. 

Assignments                                                                                                                                         Points Available

1. Discussion Forum- Partner Violence Reflection                                                     10
   
   

2. How much is too much?  When is it a problem?                                                        10
   
   

Unit 16- Ending a Relationship- Moving Yourself Forward 

Monday May 13th - Wednesday May 22nd

In this unit, students will learn how to deal with the end of a relationship, including how to cope with the associated grief and loss. Students will gain insights into ways to make the ending of a relationship a constructive experience

Assignments                                                                                                                                        Points Available

1.  Discussion Forum- Dealing with Loss                                                                          10
   
   

2. Ending a Relationship Quiz                                                                                               10

Grading

 There is a total of 380 points for all the required assignments in the course.  Throughout the course there will be extra credit assignments integrated into the Learning Units. 

Letter Grades in the course will be as follows:

Letter Grade                          Points

A                                                                      380-342

B                                                                      341-304

C                                                                      303-266

D                                                                     265-228

F                                                                      227-0

Students: If you need additional support and services, please access the Disabled Students Programs and Services: https://www.ccsf.edu/student-services/support-programs/disabled-students-programs-services.