My Mothers – written in 2013
by Jean Hersey
Eva Alice Liles Howard
This was my birth mother, and for 17 years my guide and mentor. She was born in a hillside community in Kentucky, not far from the Ohio River. She and her twin sister Ell (Liles Cook) were born in 1892 with an older brother Jim, later called Doc because that became his profession. They also had a younger brother Frank, who did odd jobs.
Eva (pronounced like Evelyn) had a good mother and father (who had the sight of just one eye due to an accident early in his life). Doc put himself through college and later helped his sisters pay for Normal School education.
Eva was 30 when she married Jim Howard, a self-educated man of the same age. I never heard it mentioned at home that Eva was more highly educated than my father. Three daughters were born within the first 6 years of marriage. They lived in Columbus, Ohio, because Daddy was then working for the Pennsylvania Railroad, which had a major hub in Columbus.
In our early years we lived in the city and Mother took us to the Sunday School of the Methodist Church. She also started us in ballet lessons and made all the costumes that we needed for that. We also took Elocution lessons, although I don’t remember much about that.
During the depression we lived about 5 miles out of the city on a 5-acre piece of land which also included a house and a barn. There we could have a cow, a flock of chickens, and a garden. Although Daddy was always employed, this was a “just in case” move. There we gave up the dance and elocution lessons. Both Virginia and I were moved ahead a half year grade because Mother was a former teacher.
We four females worshiped Sundays at the local United Brethren Church which was within walking distance of our house. Mother became a Sunday School teacher for the women. She was well-liked but always called Mrs. Howard. She did not stay for church but we three girls did. It was just a little too conservative and emotional for her. She was finally asked by the pastor to either attend church or step down as a teacher. She stepped down but saw to it that the three girls continued to attend.
She was the rock of our family Daddy was gone much of the time and she was in charge when he was on the railroad. We honored and obeyed her but she was also the disciplinarian. Daddy sang to us, but I never heard her sing around the house. We loved him but honored and appreciated her.
From Mother we learned table manners. I remember once when a former college friend came to visit, we were scolded because we left the table when our guest was still sitting there.
Mother was a good, plain cook. She never gave us cooking lessons, but we did have to learn to pluck the chickens which Daddy killed. Mother loved to sew and taught all of us to sew. She sewed most of our clothes. Later she enlisted our school principal, Mrs. Linnaberry, to be the leader of the Silver Threads, a 4-H project. Mother did all the teaching but Mrs. Linnaberry occasionally met with us. There we also learned to run a meeting.
Another thing I learned from 4-H was how to judge clothing . I did this at local county fairs and because of that won a trip to National 4-H Congress in Chicago in my Junior Year of high school. Also because of this I won a scholarship to OSU. My mother died from hypertension in 1941. The day after her funeral I got a call from the college dean telling me about the scholarship. It was wonderful news but news I dearly wanted to share with my mother.
I didn’t miss her as mush as I might have thought because for the next four years I was so busy in college. I lived at home and cooked for Daddy when he was home from work.
The time I missed my mother the most was after I moved to Maine, married to Bill. I would have liked to have her to talk to when the kids were little. I had only Bill to share joys and sorrows. I had a difficult time in my 20’s because of kids, illnesses (polio for David), and just a change of lifestyle.
Edna Howard
Aunt Edna was Daddy’s brother Ed’s wife. He also worked on the Railroad and they lived in Columbus. We could get to their house by the Columbus bus route so we went there frequently. She was an Evangelical, a church much like the United Brethren which we attended, and which united with the UB about the time I left Ohio. She was open, demonstrative, and living. I could talk with her easily. I was with her, eating an ice cream cone when we heard about the Pearl Harbor attack. We went back to her house and got out an Atlas to find our where Pearl Harbor was.
After I came to Maine both she and Uncle Ed visited us occasionally. She happened to be there at the time of Jane’s wedding and visited with us for a day, went back to Virginia’s and then they all came back together for the wedding. I think that was the last time I saw her. But her “mothering” was important during my four years of college.
Carrie Kingsbury Hersey
This wonderful lady was my mother-in-law. She was a wonderful woman in the community and certainly in her church, the North Waterford Congregational Church, which Charlie Hersey’s family helped to found. She was a trained accountant, but married Charlie when she was 29 an was a typical farmer’s wife. She cleaned the milk buckets, helped make cottage cheese and butter. She kept the farm house clean, and cooked tremendous, down-t-earth meals three times a day. Friday was “peddling day”. She and Charlie took produce to Norway homes. So Friday was also baked bean day, which she got ready, put the bean pot in the oven, and departed.
She was the most nonjudgmental, accepting person, accepting people as they were instead of trying to change them to her way of thinking. She accepted me as Bill’s wife and loved me, warts and all. I think she was disappointed that Bill did not set up his veterinary practice from the farm home, instead of in town.
She did not openly show affection, but was there when needed. I never heard her criticize any of her sons or daughters-in-law. But she was not a person you would pour our your troubles on. She was just down to earth and practical. She helped me by keeping my children when we wanted to be away for a day. Her grandkids loved her as well, I really respected her.
Fannie Hersey Bradford
There was something delightful about Aunt Fannie. She was Charlie’s younger sister nad they were devoted to each other. Every Thanksgiving we all would go to Fannie and Everett’s because that is where Charlie and Carrie went. Even the year we decided to meet Alfred and Elinor, Alvin and Helen, and Mabelle and Warren and families, Charlie went alone to Fannie’s. She had studied to be a teacher did teach for several years. But around 30 she married Everett and then had 9 kids to teach.
I loved her when we first met. She accepted me just as I was. I later learned that none of her daughter-in-laws or son-in-laws were good enough for her Bradford children. But because Bill was a nephew, she didn’t care if I was good enough. We just enjoyed being together. For many years Bill and I were like her closest friends and we went a lot of places together.
When I needed help, I called on Fannie. She came each time I had a baby and many times she would travel with us to visit friends or relatives. She became so close, it was more like friends than relatives. When her family moved back to Maine, they took over this close relationship. We still enjoyed each other a lot.
Jane Hersey Chandler
Talk about role reversals. Jane and I were always close. Growing up she was just fun. And then when she married Jim and moved nearby, we enjoyed her children so mcu because we know them so well.
But after we moved to Schooner Estates, the role reversal came about. It started after Bill did, making her my confident. And gradually as she took over jobs that should have been mine, I hung on to them for a while. But little by little she did more of my jobs. I didn’t like it at first. Then I realized that many of my friends at Schooner were in the same boat. Their sons or daughters became the teaches anre relaxed under their guidance. Jane has always given me freedom of choice but it has gradually become easier just to let her make decisions. I would never have expected that, but it has made my life so much easier. Thank you, daughter, helper, friend Jane.