2020

I’ll crack the window open before I go to sleep, 

we can hear the same rain

as we feel the same pain

But for different people

It’s been days since I’ve touched you

Things are so unclear

Now I’m weeping on my pillow, and wishing you were here

It’s been a week since I’ve seen you, the news is filled with fear

Now I’m crying in the passenger seat, I hate that they can hear

My eyes are burning

My heart is thumping 

My stomach is churning

Do you even know how much I’m hurting?

You don’t answer your phone, you’re almost never home

I'm sick of being in my own head, It’d feel much nicer to be dead

It’s been so long since we’ve spoken, The panic is so sheer

Now I’m sobbing in the shower, I can’t hold what I hold dear

I think I’m gonna vomit 

shaking and convulsing out of sadness and out of fear

I can’t touch you and I cant hold you

Even my heart can’t feel you here

This heavy burden I bear, anxious pestilence 

mind filled with stormclouds over the ocean

Violently churning as they come to shore

Just waiting for their moment to burst and pour everything out

destroying everything in their path

And everyone I love evacuates

Before they get swept under the waves with me

3.4.20

A melancholy sort of haze

Settled over the page

I want to turn it away 

But my fingertips 

are stuck in place