Becoming Happy, Stable and Blessed
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1. Daily highs (highlight of the day) and lows (area to improve on or low point) for discussion or personal journal
2. Wake up and state 5 things you are grateful for. You will feel Blessed throughout the day as you recall your grateful list.
3. The flip side: Keep flipping around the situation until you find a positive. Its all perspective, change the view to a positive experience.
4. Grief as a gain. We grieve a variety of people, places, things and experiences in our lifetime. We all think of grief as a loss, what if we could see it as a gain. What did we gain.. memories, experiences, lifestyle changes..etc.. Example my niece is no longer with us, but from her I gained becoming an aunt for the first time at 9, experience as a sitter, a friend, memories.. etc.. I gained so much from her. She was and still is a blessing in my life each and every day.
5. I need 5. When we just need 5 minutes of someone to just listen, not respond back to us.
6. The house. We are the foundation we need self care. Our house is filled with family, friends, community, employment, spirituality and our health. We change and up date our house throughout our lifetime, but if we neglect the foundation everything will come tumbling down. Take the time for self care each day even 20 minutes.
7. When we hold our feelings in, instead of expressing them. Over time we end up feeling resentful and a lack of self confidence. Simply stating I feel..... can heal a relationship and allow it to grow. Feelings need to be expressed and resolved.
8. Self understanding is only possible when hidden purposes and goals of behavior are made conscious. Create awareness in the direction of life, goals purpose and logic and how it works together with behavior. (Gerald Corey)
9. Journaling for healing.
1. write as much as you can, include thoughts, reactions, and feelings. 2. Write what you learned, good and bad. 3. write what you wish you could do differently. 4. write about growth that comes from processing, the positive changes as you heal.
10. Relationship triangles with a rescuer, victim and persecutor. Persecutor blames, disrespects, or attacks the victim causing the rescuer to defend the victim. All you need to do is stop participating and hold yourself in the center of the triangle. Show compassion, sensitivity and responsibility with a solution focus. Keep your focus and your cool. You have the choice to be healthy and not pulled into drama.
11. Hug often, 8 a day for maintenance and 12 a day for growth. Give hugs to yourself, friends, family, pets, anyone you see, just don't give those weird hugs. Tis the season to be jolly and give joy. Hugs reduce stress, show love and caring. improve the immune system and reduce fears.
12. Those special moments come and go, but the memories last a lifetime. Replace grudges/unforgiveness with forgiveness and watch the magic come alive again. Imagine a rose unable to open because it was holding on instead of blooming in the beauty of fullness of its growth. Tis the season to give hugs, laughter and love. Be loving and joyful π₯°πππ€
13. As the holidays approach, use self care. Participate in the events you want to. You have the right to decline without giving a reason. Try new experiences and let yourself be happy. Give joy to yourself and others around you by being happy, not just pleasing others.
14. Acceptance vs expectation
A hard fact of life is accepting an individual for who they are, vs. our expectation of who they should be. Once we learn true acceptance we lose our desire to change them. When we judge them for the individual they are, we lack empathy for them. Flip it around, we would not want to be judged for who we are. An individual is a person with their own unique personality, not our expectation of who they should be. We all need to be less judgmental of others and most importantly ourselves. Keep the focus on the positives.
15. In healthy families, members take the time to listen and hear, put themselves in other's shoes, learn to control and express anger appropriately, express warmth, affection, tenderness and love. Which will produce members who support and care for one another. Families who become competent are able to have successful relationships and deal with stressful life events.
Family of Origin can give you a blueprint to how your family functions. All families have some dysfunction, once recognized changes can be made.
16. Gratitude in life is feeling grateful for the things/people you have in your life. Reminding yourself of this daily can help you feel happier. It can be as simple as water, power, a home, animals, family, friends, heat.... Make a list and place it on your frig, a mirror, bedside table... areas where you will see it and be reminded. Add to your list often. Let your Blessings outweigh your problems. See how many you have this year.
17. SAD, seasonal affective disorder, affects many people this time of year. Extra vitamin D and, sun lamps may help. Depression and loneliness accompanies this or can occur all on their own for other reasons. Some idea's to combat this are reaching out to others, call, write an actual letter, send a card, stop in to say hello, volunteer (nursing homes would welcome you), get involved in a group/class, invite others over to do something creative where you can each alternate planning an activity each month, attend church, or enjoy outdoor activities where you have a chance to meet new people. When you are content staying at home, shake things up and go explore new things.
18. Normal emotions πβΊοΈπ€¬π₯π€π€ͺ can change as much as the weather. We go through peaks and valleys. It is the time in the valley that determines your outcome. You can stay there as long as you like, blame others, be angry, be sad for yourself, or you can take responsibility for your part, connect with others, share your feelings, encourage yourself, be comforted by others/yourself and reach your full strength and growth potential. It all depends on you. You are worth the time in the valley to come out stronger, more insightful and with new perspectives. Growth comes from the time in the valley. Peaks are right around the corner
19. Imagination.... When did we stop using our imagination and why.....When I was younger I imagined all kinds of things. I used to enjoy watching the clouds and seeing what they were, the stars at night, all kinds of different toys, putting a blanket over the table and chairs, and playing with my friends at recess or outside of school. We used to imagine anything and everything... Slowly it was gone and there were other things in its place. But why... why did we stop... When we use our imagination we can visualize anything, plan a new project, trip, future, fun day, the possibilities are endless. I challenge you to use your imagination this week just as you did as a child. Be that kid again who had so many dreams from using your imagination. πππ€ͺπ Get really creative.
20. We often find ourselves on many different roads in life. Sometimes it is full of bumps and we need to make changes. Some choose to stay on the bumpy path, but the path never goes anywhere. The road has many turns depending on the choices you make. Make the most of the road you travel on, keep it filled with opportunities of growth.
The coping skills we used yesterday may not work today as our perspectives, values and morals may have changed. Growth isn't easy but it will make you stronger and wiser. The right path will have an occasional bump, but will give opportunities of growth and happiness.