"I remember you was conflicted. Misusing your influence. Sometimes I did the same. Abusing my power full of resentment. Resentment that turned into a deep depression. I found myself screaming in a hotel room." That is what precedes this haunting song. "u" by Kendrick Lamar is the 6th song on his album To Pimp A Butterfly. Voted best song off of TPAB by /r/kendricklamar, I felt like if I was gonna review any song by Kendrick, it would have to be this one.
The song starts with Kendrick screaming in his hotel room. There is a sax, some bass, and some sustained synth-y noise in the back, all of which fill the song with a sense of dread and depression. The instruments make this song feel like it's in a state of dissociation while Kendrick's voice pulls you down and keeps you grounded. These two battle each other while also complimenting each other. They end up representing the depression that Kendrick is feeling and perfectly capture the ambiance and dreariness of the situation. The little break that happens in the middle of the song is one of my favorite parts in the whole album. Kendrick takes advantage of the stereo panning to pull you in even further to the story. Now you aren't just watching him go through this, you're right there, with your broken headphones and apathy, going through this with him. It adds another dimension to the song. After this, the vocals get even harsher, which I didn't even think was possible. There are very few artists that can pull off such an emotional song and make you feel their emotions while they tell you them in words as well. This is the rawest I have ever heard an artist be on record and it is eerie. The bottle noises and gulps add yet another dimension to his storytelling and it truly feels like Kendrick used every tool at his disposal to make you feel what he feels.
This song is one of the hardest songs for me to listen to because of the amount of hatred and unrestricted loathing there is. This is an extremely personal song for Kendrick and it is something we hear about but never really experience. Here he is letting us experience it and it is uncomfortable. When Kendrick dropped "i" -a song about loving yourself- as a single, people didn't expect to see such a negative song on the album. In this song, Kendrick doesn't take the mass appeal approach. He isn't vague about what he is feeling so that everyone can relate to this song. No, he makes this as personal as possible. He explores the themes of survivors guilt, his influence, money, family, and suicide. The song by itself is an amazing song, but in the context of the album it is even better. It is the low that you have to experience to appreciate the high that are the songs "Alright" and "i".
For y'all who haven't heard the song before, this is the type of lyrics I'm talking about.
"What can I blame him for
Nigga I can name several
Situation had stopped with your little sister bakin'
A baby inside, just a teenager where's your patience
Where was your antennas
Where was the influence you speak of
You preached in front of 100, 000 but never reached her
I fuckin' tell you, you fuckin' failure you ain't no leader
I never liked you, forever despise you I don't need you
The world don't need you, don't let them deceive you"
It's hard. It's raw. It's Kendrick.