Memories with Dad: Exploration of Fatherhood is a documentary that uses observational, poetic, and participatory modes to comment on the effect fathers have on their sons. We explore a day with young kids who are playing in the leaves and we watch their fathers create a pile of leaves. The camera follows the boys and their play. It’s very low to the ground. We take their perspective. We engage in their play with them. We are in the leaves. We are watching their smiling faces. This is about them. However, just as much as it is about them, it’s about us, and the experiences we have had. We hear the voice of young men share their favorite moments with their fathers.

This past Thanksgiving, I headed home to my parents’ house. My older sisters and their families came and brought their children. It was a special moment. I have mostly nephews and so I feel a special responsibility to watch over and take care of them and teach them what it means to be a man. However, part of that is transactional almost. What I mean by that is as I teach them how to be a man, they teach me and remind me what it is to be a child. They even teach their fathers how to be a kid again. You see brother-in-law Levi using a leaf blower to build a pile of leaves in order for their kids to play and have fun and be joyful. He smiles and laughs. You also see him trying to teach his boys football and trying to rough each other up. Levi is trying to connect with his kids. And as we see this, we also hear the young men in the back express their favorite memories of their fathers. They reminisce on what their fathers have done in order to be good fathers. 

I felt drawn to make this documentary because men relationships, especially relationships are often difficult. Within most western societies, men are taught to suppress their emotions, to shape up, to be tough. Whether or not you agree with this, it is seen within media that father-son relationships are suppressed. I wanted to flip that narrative and showcase an aspect of father-son relationships that is positive and full of love and wonder.

Another big draw to this film was to show the innocence of childhood. The nature, the leaves, the laughs, the crying, the whining - it is all aspects of childhood that men love and reminisce on so much. I wanted to show the environment of which they were in, of how children experience nature and how much it brings joy and wonder and awe. It is easy to see how much joy that it brings to them. This observational approach is largely inspired by Grey Gardens. Its fly-on-the-wall approach was iconic and allowed for the audience to soak in the personalities of the Beales. Even to this day, many people - those involved with production and social actors and friends of the Beales - are still amazed on its realness and authenticity that they exhibited. This approach to the Beales, and the kind of people they were, allowed their personalities and idiosyncrasies to come through and make the film what it is. 

Comparing Grey Gardens to A Day in the Leaves, you see less of my nephews’ personalities. Because of the time and how much I tried to squeeze in, you can’t make out too much of the personalities of my nephews. However, you can still see a bit of things. My nephew Arama loves to run into the leaves and play in the them, similar to his older brother Iraia. Banks is a bit shy and hesitant of going into the leaves. And finally, Drew is pretty content being in the leaves, but sometimes sad or talkative when he’s sitting there alone, in the cold. Also, it’s apparent that you can see the boys like to play and interact with one another, especially Iraia and Arama.

The music in the film is Funeral Canticle, which is in Tree of Life and it is incredibly inspirational to me. It showcases the wonder and the beauty and divinity of relationships, especially between father-and-son. It also reminds me of Mind The Gap. As Bing Liu explores the relationships between him and his friends and their fathers, it was abusive, it was difficult. This, in a way, is a direct response and in direct opposition to that.

The poeticism of this film relies in the complementary image and audio. It relies in the fact that these are men that will become fathers themselves, but also they are sons. They have this attitude and this innocence in them, it was in them once, and will forever be a part of them. The interviews and memories that are an obvious portion of that. It’s supposed to be a link between their childhood and their fatherhood and where they are at now. It is supposed to be an image of their hope in which they can become what they desire to be and shape up to who they want to become. However, it is also a reminder that fathers and sons don’t always see eye to eye, but they can become better than what their fathers taught them, more emotional, more real, more personable.