Tanzania

I went to rural Kenya ready to help people who I expected to be poor and suffering.  Children on advertisements with running noses and sad eyes shaped my perception of countries like Kenya.  But what I found was infinitely more complex than the bleak image in my mind.  I saw teachers use corporal punishment on children and force girls to make fire-cooked meals for them.  I saw those same kids dance and playe moments later as if it had not happened at all.  Students were eager to answer questions in class, even if they did not know the answers.  I went with the entire school, hundreds of kids, to sing to a terminally ill classmate. I thought, if we were in the United States, maybe we would have the means to provide treatment for this child.  But at the same time, I knew none of my schools would ever be able or even willing to walk miles just to brighten the spirits of a classmate.  The experience was simply confusing.  I spent the following years in search of cultural knowledge to explain the many intricacies I found.  I read books, watched movies and documentaries, and listened to songs from the region.  But I can say I am still confused.  I think to myself: Who am I to say that anything in their community needs to change? But, who am I to ignore hunger and disease while I am full and healthy?  I am left with many questions and only one answer.  

Without knowing it, I came across my answer in Kenya, when some students taught me a song.  They sang, “Courage, brother, do not stumble, if the path is dark as night.  There’s a star to guide the humble, trust in God and do the right.”  I certainly cannot promise I will not stumble, but I have a star to guide me.  I want to understand the culture of East Africa and continue to learn from it.  I do not feel it is my place to try to change anything about this region, only to work towards mutual understanding.  This desire leads me to the Foreign Service.  Of course, to join the Foreign Service and to understand the East African culture, Swahili is a necessary and exciting tool.  Now is the time in my life to go from building familiarity with the language to building capacity to speak and understand it.  I have learned many lessons from studying Spanish, but one of the most important ones is to prioritize pronunciation early on.  Because I started at a young age and with instruction that did not emphasize pronunciation, I created bad habits and speak Spanish with a heavy accent to this day.  I hope to avoid similar habits while learning Swahili by starting where it is spoken natively.  Studying in Tanzania will give me the opportunity to avoid making bad habits.  In this moment, I am prepared to succeed in the CLS program and on my way to achieving my personal and professional goals.  

Mexico

The bed is hard and the air conditioning is, well, there is no air conditioning. I don’t really know where I am. It’s humid, dark, and quiet. After failing to find a hotel room in Ciudad Carmen, I hopped on another bus and arrived late in Campeche. I told the taxi to take me to the nearest hotel, so... here I am. Sweat dripping down my face and hunger starting to settle in, I begin to laugh. What an awesome experience! Tomorrow, wherever I go will be up to me.

But of course, the euphoria that comes with freedom and fresh experiences is bittersweet. 48 hours ago, I said goodbye to the people who helped me succeed during my semester in Mexico City. Though they made fun of my accent, I already miss my basketball teammates. They included me when they hung out on the weekends and helped me with my classes early on. I look at the time. Inbox, a social media themed news show I watched every night with my host mother, is about to come on. Nostalgia makes me want to turn it on, but there is no television. In its place, I turn to YouTube. I scroll until discovering a video called “Mexico’s Beach Wars.” I immediately lose myself in special reports about drug violence. I am surprisingly devastated. In previous months, I heard similar stories, but they never resonated with me the way they do at this moment. I notice that I am alone. I remember having to take a taxi, even though I was warned that it was dangerous. Without the romanticism I had before, I think about how I do not know where I am. In this rare moment in my life where I am worried about my own security, I feel compassion for those suffering. A video about migrants crossing the Arizona Border pushes me too far. As a human, I want the suffering to stop. As a Southern Arizonan, I feel a responsibility to act. However, as someone who cannot understand the motives of many of those involved, I know I do not have the solution. Confused and sweaty, I deal with my frustrations as usual and pull out my journal. As I put my thoughts on paper, I find myself coming to a surprisingly reasonable conclusion.

The United States and Mexico have shared problems. Each problem looks different depending on your point of view, so no person can find an answer on their own. However, by bringing perspectives together, we have the opportunity to create solutions. My path to making this happen is through diplomacy. To be the most effective diplomat I can be, I must understand how conflicting values come from different but reasonable places. While I value my independence, watching my host family interact made me realize that staying close to home provides a reliable social structure that helps with everyday stress, finances, raising kids, and even avoiding traffic. Although it did not make me want to move back to my hometown, I now realize that this value system has serious benefits, even if it is different than my own. Understanding why the values of my host family were reasonable made it easier for me to express myself in a cohesive manner when I needed space. Returning to Mexico with Fulbright will develop my capacity for understanding other cultures by challenging values that were deep enough to have survived my first time in Mexico. The core of my desire to join the foreign service is to address issues facing my home, the U.S.-Mexican borderlands. By deeply understanding how my value system interacts with the values common to Mexican culture, I will be prepared to do so.