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There is a grand smorgasbord of boss types. Those who mentor, others who push everyone to the nth degree, many who treat their reports with respect and others who see them as cogs in a greater wheel.
You can invent ways to deal with all of the various managerial species in order to save your jobs and even get in their good graces and all that comes with that. But there is a place to draw the line and often to personally prevail in the big picture for doing so: that is when the boss is a cruel, vulgar and angry person determined to push you to the limits, confident that you won't push back.
I have served on the management advisory board of numerous clients and generally enjoyed the experience. But there have been striking exceptions. One is the case of a global engineering firm whereby the CEO would begin each board session by launching a tirade against his senior company managers who sat on the board along with outsiders like me.
"I'm depressed today," he would rant. "I guess I'm always depressed when I enter this room. I have to face you overpaid people -- I'm referring to my management team members -- and I'm not even sure why you're here. I have to do all the work myself any way. None of you have ever done a thing to grow this company."
No one said a word. Everyone felt humiliated and deeply angry. And the nearly identical scene played out time after time.
Ugly? Yes. Obnoxious? Sure ? Unusual? Not at all.
The expression that "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely," is alive and malignant across the workplaces of the world. Give enlightened people the opportunity to help others grow and they pour their hearts and brains in it. But all too many take the power as a ticket to elevate their egos by driving others into the ground.
Which poses a quandary for their victims: how much to take and what to do when you've had it up to here.
I say you know when the time comes. When there is a pit in your stomach. When you can't sleep at night. When all is ugly and unattractive about the workplace.
And when this boiling point is reached, you should do what you might not dream of doing otherwise:
*Meet with the boss privately and make it clear that you have had it, are highly unhappy with the treatment that you received and that change must be made immediately.
Although the session may be rough and rife with denial, there is a chance that you can effect a breakthrough. After all, bullies are wont to back down in the face of a determined and (finally) courageous adversary.
In any case, you will breath a sigh of relief. You will be free. You will no longer be cowering. Yes, you may have to find a new job but that may be the best side benefit of all.
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To keep it short, I have a manager that is very nit-picky about when and how long I take my vacation time. My vacation time at my company works on an accrual basis, so I earn X amount of days per year that I must use by the end of the year, or they will be lost.
A few times now (not all), I've put in requests which leads my manager to having a conversation with me telling me "no". I put these requests with a reasonable timeline that they could be responded too, at least 2 weeks, and upwards of a few months. There isn't a very good reason why I can't take off, other than "the company is trying to meet deadlines, and we need you here to work". Here's the problem, I know what deadlines the company is under, and I have work around these deadlines yes, but there are no specific deadline dates within my requested time off, nor will my absence during these days prevent me from meeting the actual deadlines. In other words, I have plenty of time to do my work before the real deadline.
I think the real reason for his hesitancy is that his manager has given him grief before about letting too many people take time off during critical periods of work/deadlines. He has said this on a number of times as his reasoning.
If this doesn't lead to an acceptable answer, try asking for money in lieu of leave. Odds are that this won't be accepted, but the objective is that you are forcing the manager to provide you with days off.
When your boss invariably comes up to verbally deny your PTO request, tell them you need a response in the same media you requested in (this is to get a traceable record). This can be supplemented with prompts (such as follow up emails etc.) if they refuse to respond in a way that gives you a record. Either a list of denials or a failure to respond to your initial request will build a paper trail that you can use to protect yourself and your interests. NOTE: Do not use this as a way to threaten or bully your boss, this is merely an intelligent way to cover for yourself.
As has been suggested, any denials should be met with a "When is an acceptable time period for me to take my PTO?". I would not offer to take pay in lieu of PTO, as PTO is not only a form of compensation (equivalent to being paid for attending x hours), it is also a critical component of work-life balance. If your boss is unwilling to provide you with time you can take PTO in, gently remind them that the PTO is a form of compensation, and you have earned it via company policy.
I'm sorry So-And-So, but my PTO is a benefit I have earned through my time working here, and I intend to take it so that I may avoid burnout/stress/personal problems that can be caused by overwork. I would ask again that you either approve the dates I have asked for, or provide me a suitable time period for me to use my PTO in.
It is unlikely for you to be able to guess what your boss' motivation is behind denying your PTO requests, so rather than guessing at it, you should ask them in a non-confrontational manner. This may lead to a civil discussion that can result in an acceptable compromise. As per OP's update to the question, the reason is know, and this is likely not a viable course of action as a result.
As a last resort, if your boss is completely non-cooperative, you can take whatever traceable form of request/denial you have and submit your PTO request through HR, attaching the documentation as proof that you have attempted to go through proper channels. This last tactic will cost you your relationship with your boss, and will most likely put you on the short list to getting fired. I would only take this approach if you already have another job lined up.
I wouldn't be surprised if I requested a vacation two weeks before leaving, and my boss told me "no". It's also not impossible to ask for a vacation on particular dates many months in advance, and having your request denied because an important deadline is scheduled on these dates.
2.You have to prepare your vacation (tickets / hotel bookings / etc.), and cancelling it will cost you money. In this case inform your boss about it (in writing), and ask them to take a decision by a certain date:
I plan to go on vacation to South Africa this October, and I will be booking my tickets soon. I plan to leave on October 5 and come back on October 20. Could you please check if these dates are OK, and write me back if there is an impediment? I need an answer before end of July.
Assuming the deadline for the answer is 1-2 weeks from now (and your boss is not on vacation), if you don't receive a negative reply you should be good to go. If your boss later changes their mind, show them the e-mail and ask them if they would cover your rebooking/cancelling expenses. Or tell them that you're going anyway, if you want this trip really badly.
At some companies you don't have to ask before you take vacation (but many people just assume they do and ask anyway), you just have to notifiy your supervisor in advance. If that's your situation ("you" here refers to the OP or to anyone else with this problem), then don't ask, tell. So e.g. this: "I'm going to be out 7/3 - 7/21 without access to email. If there is an emergency, you can send me a text @ 555.555.5555" instead of this: "Is it ok for me to take off 7/3 - 7/21?". It's harder for someone to say no if you don't ask their approval.
NOTE: Some companies require you to ask, so then you should ask. But some don't, hence this answer. If you have to ask, then see the other answers for how to ask. Otherwise don't ask, tell (politely).
Try introducing a shared calendar or somewhere your team can document its scheduled time off. Having this, you should be able to come up with some general guidelines about how many team members are needed at any given time.
This also gives your boss a place to mark "critical" time periods around deadlines where more team members are needed. Having these critical periods documented will force him to make decisions about what is important, where left unchecked he may be likely to see any time period as critical (there will always be deadlines!).
Having a concrete policy should remove any confusion around the issue, just be sure the rules/guidelines are reasonable. If you find your boss resistant to such ideas, you may find that he's not been truthful to you. This is good to know. Do what you can to get to the root of the issue, but be prepared to move on if you feel you're being taken advantage of.
One way or another, my friend, it's time to tell boss-man "Adio', mo' fo'". Since this is the US your employer has no obligation to allow you any time off - but any employer who wants to keep their employees around knows better than to use the "we're too busy to allow any vacation" excuse too much. My suggestion is to go find another job, either in the same company working for another manager, or if it's a company-wide issue then with another firm. Their attitude is, apparently, that vacation is a privilege, and lower-level employees are not sufficiently privileged. Time to wake 'em up when you walk right out! 152ee80cbc
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