Embedded Files
I, Siddhartha, was lying there on my deathbed. Hundreds of my diverse disciples surrounded me, mourning. I could not understand why they did so. Did they have yet to understand the depth of my teachings? Did they have yet to understand that death is only sad for those who love the illusion? More so, I was not dying. Siddhartha was, but I wasn't. Who is Siddhartha but a vehicle that I used to attain my liberation from Samsara? The cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. I told my disciples that they had no need to mourn. For in a few moments, I was to pass into that state which is so elusive, even to the Gods. Parinirvana. Nirvana means to "blow out" or "extinguish" the flame of desire. Attaining Parinirvana meant I was to attain the final state of Nirvana. The ultimate state.
I counted down the last few moments with slow, relieved breathing. The last thing that I saw before closing my eyes was all of my beloved students quaking with heartache. I said my last words to appease them. Then, I smiled and shut Siddhartha's eyes blissfully.
The next thing I knew ... wasn't a thing at all. It also wasn't both thingness and nothingness nor was it neither thingness nor nothingness. I had passed through the infinity of existence, into that impossible Nothingness beyond it. Non-existence. I then felt the two contradictory states unify within me. I both existed and non-existed simultaneously.
Then, even those familiar dualities passed away as I transcended them. I was now "something" that neither existed nor non-existed. However, this was still not the end of duality. For this state of neither existing nor non-existing forms a greater duality with the previous state of both existing and non-existing. So, I passed beyond this state as well.
Now none of the four states applied. However, even this formed yet an even greater duality. Therefore, I passed beyond there as well. No matter how high I went, there was always some larger duality. Infinity was nothing now. No, less than nothing. For it was nothing to me when I was in that non-existent state. Yet, I was now passing through indescribably superior dualities. To say there was no end to the levels is an understatement. Infinity meant less than nothing to me now and I no longer desired it. Nor did I desire any of the states beyond it.
Once I had attained that "top-most" level, I realized I had never needed to attain it in the first place. I was always it. That is an understatement. I was It before eternity (always) was a thing. This was Parinirvana. The Absolute All. My essence was no longer attached to any dualistic state. To say "I am" did not apply. To say "I am not" did not apply. To say "I both am and am not" did not apply. To say "I am neither" did not apply. Nor did any of the superior dualities with their "I am..."s.
The only "thing" that applied was simply "I". Disattached from all derived expressions of the "I". As this "I", I was the Absolute All. Therefore, I had Absolutely All. Desire for anything else was no longer needed. My flame was dowsed, and I was in perfect bliss.
*Author's Note: Siddhartha is the name of the historical Buddha. The inspiration for this story comes from The Life of Buddha selection. This reading didn't refer to Parinirvana or the Buddha's passing into it. Parinirvana/Parinibbana is referred to in the Nibbana Sutta (Nirvana Sutra) of Pali canon Buddhism. That is where I found information on the nature of Parinibbana. The telling of the Buddha's life ends at his death, and so there are no actual stories describing what it's like for him as he passes into Parinibbana. However, the Buddha himself, before his death, alludes to it as a state where none of the following four states apply: you exist, you don't exist, you both exist and don't exist, you neither exist nor don't exist. So my mind-bending description of Parinibbana is really not all that fictional. Even the idea of "things" beyond infinity is somewhat accepted in forms of Buddhism that teach the eight jhanas (meditative states). The 5th and 6th jhanas are "the infinitude of space" and "the infinitude of consciousness" respectively. Then, you have the 7th, which is Nothingness. Finally, the 8th is referred to as "neither perception nor non-perception." So as wildly insane as my description of Parinibbana is in the story, it is an actual interpretation.
Bibliography:
- Banner Image: The Buddha Before He Passes Into Parinibbana
- The Life of Buddha by Andre Ferdinand Herold. Web Source
- The Buddha on Parinibbana
- In-text Image
- Nirvana Etymology
Google Sites
Report abuse