This songs about how my adoptee life kicked-off and how while there may have been the best of intentions to adopt, the reality of my situation was that I experienced a fair bit of       developmental issues that really impacted me through life as I lacked well... alot...of what most take granted

Role models I could not identify with, poor decisions, lack of direction, within broken families, indifference, bullying, racism, anger &  violence, economic hardship, isolation, poor life skills and searching for who the hell I was in this world, grown to be a native (at least in my young mind), but treated like an absolute foreigner by most! Never accepted for how I looked let alone for who & how I felt I was.  Found myself trying to navigate all the stereotypes out there and dreaded being labelled as one who was messed-up or had screwed up in life...

But with much unconditional love and support from the family I created  with my wife and making a choice get more help later in life, I have been able to better make sense of all of it these days. Figured that my existence is about understanding what makes me tick and how I can better myself character-wise and take care of my family! and if my journey in song helps someone else in a similar situation push on through, then thats a plus. 

Song essentailly about how I've come a cropper at times in my Adoptee life (a regular theme in my tunes...sorry) as I had role models I couldnt really identify with  etc and my internal decision making department wasn't the best as a result. Decisions too much based on how I felt, doing what others said with out thinking (is this right?) but based on level of personal acceptance it bought. I don't put all the blame on adoption issues, but it certainly contributed to making things that much more difficult make good/better choices. Don't get me wrong, some of the best choices were the "wrong" choices at the time. It also speaks to my struggles with acceptance because of how different I looked and could never...you guessed it!, never fit in!. Adoption itself of myself, although off to a less then ideal start, has actually provided a fairly rich personal landscape for myself, just was hard to recognise that when going through the issues. 

Song about how I've been walking this adoptee existence largely figuring out things as I go along and for all the issues and struggles I've faced, there's more gas in the tank to keep going or and haven't worn out my shoes etc, to keep pushing on. And that the worry and stress of life issues were and still are mostly wasted energy which serve to only bring me down. Plus there's someone who's really been there in my life to support, my special other half🙂

For a period of time in my adult life me and my Mrs delivered Junk mail to our local area and thought to make a tune out it and how that internal noise or "Junkmail" builds up and can really have an impact on us.  How we need to just try to let go of it. I do this through my music. If we don't we are at risk of drowning in our own thoughts. We all need support to help us work through life's issues and make sure we loose the stuff that is going to pull us down. It takes time to work through issues. Ps sorry for all the junk mail😜 

Going through life I've always been discriminated against because of the way I looked.  etc, thought I was a foreigner. People just didn't know how to take me when I spoke... Led to indifference. And that its just sadly a reflection of society (worse when I grew up in country areas) city are more accepting but it all depends on whether the person has an open mind and is just a nice person and truly ethnicity colorblind. For me when young I didn't look like any one else around in terms of ethnicity. Troubled me deeply as I was never introduced to any community that looked like me to identify with or to feel proud to be someone who looked like me. I grew up most of young life thinking I was of race "x" but turns out it was more like actually "abc". ..Ended up confused as hell. Was always told we don't see you any different "your just one of us"...played into the confusion as the culture was at odds with how I looked. International Adoptees all grappple with this reality

Songs essentially about general ignorance and making choices only based on wants and likes etc not thinking it through more . I imagined some kind of dream-like ethereal entity travelling through space, that comes across planet earth with all its wonder & majesty, was seduced by it all and became a human, became lost to itself, as it became "blinded" by its human traits etc.  But in it all it met someone who helps it remember who it was/is and to keep understanding more of about who it was each day, rather than being blinded by the trappings a material life offers.

Many times stuff happens in our lives. Things don't go our way but the key is being optimistic (keep smile'n🙂). End of the day nothing much to gain by stressing out, at least that's what I try to tell myself! Thumbs point up naturally - I tell myself things will be ok (just need to get better at believing this will be the case!)

Growing up I've lived various naratives depending on the situation. Used to lie about my background to try cover up how troubled I was around my lack of personal identity and original ethnic culture ..avoiding the awkwardness of that %#$%"where do you come from" question... I was never able to be 100% proud of what I was. As a young lad, imagined that someone might come and find me, as their long lost precious child etc etc. But reality was that, when I closed my eyes, I saw the truth was that I was fairly alone. Also points to mistakes I've made as a person, I alone live with the guilt and shame, no better sentence i guess.

Song is about knowing that even through we can get down ourselves a bit like I did (and still do at times), never loose sight of that fact that we are doing our best and to give ourselves credit for that and everything we've been through in our lives, adopted or not. We just have a different and special journey unique to intercountry  interracial adoptees. That you / we are worth it and are like are gold in a pan that just needed a bit of work, again finding the right kind of support to help manage better.

Song is about how I've been hurt and caused hurt to others in my life. I was hurt, sad and angry and just lost in society generally H.ow I couldn't fill the void of "why" something like this was my existence. I know there are myriad of issues that led to me being orphaned but it still didn't fill void within. You know the "unknown" origin part. I've searched when I was younger and that ended up going nowhere. Plus I was not in a good head space at the time as well. In the past I have had a lot of anger issues because I could not deal with the lack of belonging and acceptance in society. Everyone else seemed to not have these issues that I faced and I couldn't deal with it internally. But as they say "...time heals all wounds..."  and I feel that trying to let go of things or issues that are not healthy for me to hold onto is the best bet going forward. The song helps to release or accept my "unknown"ess. Even though I get the need for adoption in general and the why in individual case, my song points to more general "why" of why humans do this to each other fundamentally, how they can cause to or abandon their fellow man and have it potentially result in so much hardship. Some say "...you only really knew your adoptive parents, so can't understand why you yearn for your biological ones etc..." 

Song is about me at times longing for my biological parents and original ethnic culture. Song about unrealistically imagining for my biological father and mother to come back to me and just "sail" into my life at some point when I was a young boy. How it must have been something that I'd done to make them go away etc. How much  I needed to belong. A bit about the struggles of adoptee life, but then I see that it all part of the same game, none of us get out of life alive so we just should press on regardless.

There were many a time I felt alone due to being adopted...not anyone's fault, not out to blame or cast aspersions etc . Just how I felt during those times in my life. for future interracial or intercountry orphans become who adoptees, my only hope is that they can find true belonging as they go through life, learn to truly love themselves and others. Peace be with you all. 

Song is about never fitting in and being simply angry about that. Being pushed to the limit. How I've seen the ugly side of anger and this played into how I grew up and a kind of deep seeded anger became part of me. I've found that the more I've gotten older, the issues I've created by this existence has seen me avoiding the ugly parts of it.  Song about anger and frustration and being alone. About being lost between two worlds.

Song about self isolation in general,  putting defensive barriers up can be a specialty trait due to being unable to face , accept, recognise, make peace with, move on from issues that life dishes out, so allowing people in is always difficult...I've had lots of trust issues as an intercountry and interracial adoptee

Songs about telling myself to keep pushing ahead thesedays to love and be loved living in this beautifully crazy world

I try to surf everynow and then (just love the water anyways) but wrote this song as pretty much life is a wave I need to just ride it into shore! My life's been like my surfing, barely making it on the wave (adoption), once on, keep falling off and can never do much when on it, but i keep trying and just just try to enjoy and just get better at riding! with all its complexities and thankful that I'm not in a worse situation, which as i know can happen any moment. Need to support my family more and develop the capacity to be more available and supportive Father & Husband and just ... a better man.

Simple Song about my family and how we have had to support each other as well tbh that's all we have had to depend on, even though its not been easy on them from me as I was messed up somewhat with all my issues. Not really a mono religious man, but I've done something right to have what I have now in my world. The just try'n to be a  better unit in this / my world / universe etc (enable captions to see lyrics)

Song about contemplating (spinning the dime not knowing which ace its going to land on) about beginnings adoption and how things might have panned out...If things were different ...say had a more "normal" upbringing in the culture and people that were like myself and then only need to make my way through that realm and not have to be at odds with everything pretty much everywhere I turned...was all alone...but I guess "it is what it is"  . Also this song for relationship ups and downs in general, trying to repair them etc... "its been a dream"

Blues music has ironically and soo helped me in my life to fill the void of a learned loss a profound loss that cannot be easily filled...gets me by at many a time. I'm naturally aligned to the music of deep sorrow and soul searching...music has been a natural personal therapeutic  zone -out space

seeing my boys suffering at times I reach out but realise actually I'm  part of the problem and that my "help" is the problem (flooding their world), so I need to change myself tact and approach and through my change I hope they can be see the way forward out of their individual issues.

Similar theme - never give'n up and navigating through the turning roads with what life dishes out, good bad and just ..ugly.  Keep'n that inner fire burning strong and in my case use'n music to help lighten the load as I walk the path I'm on, until the music ends. Also about profound loss grief which has also touched my journey.

Song about try'n to accept the realities of life's journey and how you just sometimes ...well in most cases personally in my run...is to just improvise my ways through...fake it until you make it as they say...emulate greatness and in time you'll become the source of it.. still dream'n 🤣

Sometimes things get hard but got to keep walking on and persevering. using a powerful AI voice to carry the message. I've had to dig deep at times to stay on top of my mental health.  Literally Walked my way into the clear. 

Song about going through life's journey making choices based on emotion / senses or logic/reasoning, whos to say what is right/wrong, if no one ever makes mistakes, then what one ponders is left to "learn"?