Loving Yourself While Loving Others  

🗓️February 27, 2026

✍🏾 Faith Haynes 

February is known as the month of love. Love does not only consist of romantic gestures, but of platonic ones as well. Self-love is where love begins, which raises the question: How can you love others without losing sight of yourself? 

Practice Self-Awareness 

The key to self-love and loving others is self-awareness. Self-awareness is understanding yourself, remaining conscious of past experiences, and recognizing certain triggers. To understand others, you must understand yourself first. Some ways to become self-aware are understanding your feelings, creating your own personal vision, and understanding how you are perceived by others. A disconnect between you and others is formed when you don’t truly know or understand yourself. Instead, you may try to change other people, but in reality, you are stuck in your own thoughts. Self-awareness is a lifestyle, a practice that should take place every day. It is okay to acknowledge that you haven’t been self-aware; that is step one in the process, if that is your situation.  

Maintain Individual Routines & Goals 

For a relationship to flourish, each person must be strong in their individuality. Individuality is not an option, but a necessity to support healthy communication. By maintaining who you are as a person you remain strong on your own and make space to create a meaningful connection with someone else. You have now created a healthy space for them in your life. Balance is key to ensuring any relationship lasts; balance in this situation would be you not becoming codependent on your partner.  

Many people enjoy spending everyday with their partner or their friends, but time apart is essential. In that time apart, you have the opportunity to reflect, recharge your energy, and strengthen the bond when you reconnect. Oftentimes, we can get caught up in our own lives and personal needs that we forget about what our partner may be going through. Although individuality is important, supporting one another is still essential in a healthy relationship. This is beneficial in the sense of supporting them as they follow their dreams and goals, creating freedom while staying connected. Always maintain your hobbies and time for self-reflection. It is easy to become trapped taking care of others, but it becomes harder to support someone else when you feel unable to do the things you once enjoyed. 

Set Boundaries 

Boundaries do not have to be as scary as they may sound. In fact, they are healthy and a necessary part of any relationship. They can be physical or psychological and do not only involve a romantic partner but should be used in platonic relationships as well. There is a difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries.  

Healthy boundaries are put into place to make sure that you are heard and taken care of. Think of a boundary as a safety net; it ensures that you and another person are on the same page. The positive side of boundaries is that they do not have to be permanent and can shift during different stages of your life. While it is okay to shift and change your boundaries, it is equally important to let the other person or people know as well. Unhealthy boundaries consist of keeping people a “safe” distance away from you, meaning you don't speak about how you feel and hold everything in. Boundaries can also be too weak, resulting in all the responsibilities falling on you. Boundaries can also signify a sign of care. If someone is struggling and you continue to enable their behavior, you are not helping them as that does more harm than good. A healthy boundary would not be enabling their behavior. 

Reciprocate, Don’t Overgive 

The art of being able to love is knowing when to give and also when to take a step back. Overgiving can look like putting aside your dreams and goals to make space for someone else's. The other person may or may not still be putting effort into the relationship, yet you continue to give. This can lead to you feeling as if things go wrong, it is your fault. To reciprocate, you need to communicate clearly what you need, which creates space for you to ask for things. By doing this, you allow time for yourself and the other person without sacrificing your needs and wants, while still making space for theirs as well. Intentionality is key, as reciprocating is not always equal, but it should be intentional.