Right now, I want you to write down a list of everything in your life that scares you right now. Think of every area where fear is holding you back from making the moves you need to make and living the life you want to live.

When you lack this purpose, when you have no clear direction in your life, you will fall victim to the circumstances and environments around you. Instead of consciously engineering the life you want, you will, by default, settle for the life that you are given.


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Stop wasting your time arguing about religion, politics, and philosophy with strangers on the internet (or even your best friends) and instead commit to taking action on the things you can control and improving yourself.

One of the defining characteristics of alpha males (despite what you hear from the media) is kindness and a desire to do good. Not for the sake of recognition or acclaim, but simply for the sake of being a good man.

Instead of relying on experts and gurus to tell you what to do, educate yourself about important topics (like nutrition, finances, fitness, relationships, and personal growth) and chart your own path.

But you must be physically and emotionally fit and build a strong and useful body. Every human being on the planet, man and woman, has a responsibility to themselves and others to take care of their health. Failure to do this will result in a low quality of life.

If you get winded just walking up the stairs, or you have severe brain fog from an unhealthy diet and lack of exercise, how do you expect to have the energy required to create the life you want? How can you hope to be the lover your partner needs you to be? How can you fully enjoy all of the adventures and journeys available to you?

Building a strong and useful body is elegantly simple. But it requires discipline and commitment. However, the discipline that you develop from taking care of your body will permeate into every other area of your life and help you become a stronger man from the outside in.

When you give your word to yourself it needs to have power in it (by setting a goal, making a resolution, etc.), you will actually believe in your ability to keep it and act in integrity with your word.

Go out 3x a week and introduce yourself to new women each night. Ask more women out this next week than you have all year. Accept that rejection is only telling you what you need to work on and or saving you from dating the wrong woman. Learn from the experience and use this knowledge to develop yourself into the type of man that women crave.

If you want to learn how to be an alpha male, start by finding ways to make your life harder, not easier. Doing so will build the grit, resilience, and character you need to tackle bigger and bolder challenges.

The more frequently you expose yourself to external stressors and embrace hardship of your own making, the more anti-fragile you will become and the less you will be swayed by the hardships that life throws at you.

When you believe and stand for something so fiercely that you are willing to put your life on the line for it, you unlock the ability to truly live. To give everything you have to this one existence. To savor every moment and pursue your dreams and aspirations without fear or trepidation.

Then click here to watch my new client orientation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship.

This article was co-authored by wikiHow staff writer, Jennifer Mueller, JD. Jennifer Mueller is a wikiHow Content Creator. She specializes in reviewing, fact-checking, and evaluating wikiHow's content to ensure thoroughness and accuracy. Jennifer holds a JD from Indiana University Maurer School of Law in 2006.


There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.


This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.


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You know of the "alpha male" as the leader of the pack, the guy everyone looks up to. A lot of people think these alpha qualities are innate, but the reality is that anyone can become alpha with the right mix of confidence, discipline, positivity, and empathy. Read on to learn everything you need to know to become a strong, independent alpha who everyone looks up to.

Alpha males have a certain type of main character energy about them. An alpha male is someone who walks into a room and commands attention. People are naturally drawn to him because of his confident demeanor or charisma.

Alpha males are natural leaders and usually have people around them. They tend to be very popular with women because of their easy-going nature and general swagger. An alpha male is oftentimes considered the ideal male.

Avoid using harsh colognes. Not only is strong cologne off putting, the alcohol content can also irritate your skin. Toss those out and instead, opt for a mild-smelling one. Leave an impression with your great personality, not your strong smell.

Find some staple pieces that fit your body type and are your correct size. Some staple pieces are a good pair of jeans, some neutral-colored t-shirts, a few button-downs, good sneakers or loafers, and outerwear.

An alpha male is a man who is highly intelligent, confident, and successful. Alpha males are generally considered great leaders and prefer to be in positions of power. Common traits alpha males possess include:

In 1000 BCE, the Greeks created their alphabet, with the first letter being alpha. In the centuries that followed, the most dominant creature in a pack of wild animals (or supposedly more evolved humans) was alpha too.

Researchers found that alphas are dynamic in their voice. They use a louder voice when they are passionate and a quieter one for important things. Or, they speak fast when telling a story and slow down for emphasis.

Decision-making is leading others in the act of deciding on important and complicated issues. Chris Hadfield is renowned as a decision-maker who became the first Canadian to command the International Space Station (ISS).

During his time in space, Hadfield had to make quick, potentially life-or-death decisions in an environment that is inherently hostile to human life. He gained recognition for his decision-making abilities by:

Tom Brady was a happy, middle-class kid who excelled at baseball and football in high school. Brady got drafted into Major League Baseball in 1995, but he chose the University of Michigan to play college football instead.

Brady experienced rejection until the sixth round of the 2000 NFL draft. However, during his first season with the New England Patriots, Brady worked tirelessly to bulk up his muscles, improving his strength and technique, and it worked.

Action Step: Controlling your emotions comes from learning about them first. Did you know there are 8 primary emotions, with a mix of emotions in-between? Learn about your emotions using the emotion wheel.

For an alpha male, conflict is not a chance for a fight, but a chance to get to a better solution. This involves active listening, empathizing, and perhaps most importantly, keeping the ego in check. Even in heated moments, they stay focused on finding a solution rather than proving a point.

A Harvard study29 -your-way-to-success/ found that humor can foster trust and increase perceived leadership skills. However, this works best when the humor is positive and inclusive, rather than divisive or derogatory.

Action Step: During your next group meeting or social event, identify one person who seems uneasy or disconnected. Use a 5-minute window to engage them in conversation, focusing entirely on understanding their viewpoint.

Bruce Lee is considered the greatest martial artist of all time, and his hybrid style helped create mixed martial arts (MMA) today. A quiet, confident alpha, Lee changed how America viewed Asian men in films.

Academic researchers have studied how to make body language your superpower31 -make-body-language-your-superpower. For example, nonverbal cues for alpha leaders might include standing up straight and taking up more space.

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"Merciless tyrants do sometimes rise to the top in a chimpanzee community, but the more typical alphas that I have known were quite the opposite. Males in this position are not necessarily the biggest, strongest, meanest ones around, since they often reach the top with the assistance of others. In fact, the smallest male may become alpha if he has the right supporters. Most alpha males protect the underdog, keep the peace, and reassure those who are distressed. Analyzing all instances in which one individual hugs another who has lost a fight, we found that although females generally console others more often than do males, there is one striking exception: the alpha male. This male acts as the healer-in-chief, comforting others in agony more than anyone else in the community. As soon as a fight erupts among its members, everyone turns to him to see how he is going to handle it. He is the final arbiter, intent on restoring harmony. He will impressively stand between screaming parties, with his arms raised, until things calm down."

This may seem silly to comment as a woman but to be honest? An Alpha male should literally at LEAST not be a petty guy. No one wants an arrogant or ignorant man either. Be the best you YOU can be and do well onto others = Alpha male.

If what you're asking is how can you reach for full potential as a male. The answer is to find your purpose and lead your life with passion. Confident, strong, and clear and at the same time, genuine, present, authentic, and loyal. 152ee80cbc

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