HIS SECRET OBSESSION
This is the only His Secret Obsession review you’ll need to read.
Not only have I read this book from cover to cover, but I’ve also had the opportunity to apply what I learned into my own personal relationship life.
I’m going to reveal what His Secret Obsession really is like, who it can help, and what I liked and didn’t like about it.
By the end of this review, it will be very clear whether this book is worth it for you.
Let’s dive right in.
His Secret Obsession is a relationship guide by James Bauer, a well-known dating and relationship expert.
The book is aimed at women no matter what stage of their relationship they are at — whether you’re still in the midst of finding a guy or have been married for the past 20 years.
What makes His Secret Obsession different to other relationship guides?
It empowers women to communicate with men in a way that is receptive to what they actually want. He calls them “secrets” but there’s nothing nefarious about it.
It’s just smart psychology.
These “secrets” take the form of specific words, phrases, and communication tactics that help trigger a man’s hero instinct (more about that below), and in turn:
Build long-lasting relationships
Break down barriers, and
Heighten attraction in a relationship (all good stuff!).
You get access to an eBook (as a PDF) and the audiobook. This is a nice touch, as you can read it on the go, or give it a listen while driving, taking the train, or on a flight.
While many of the concepts are simple (it’s almost like an ‘aha’ moment when on the first read), based on my own personal experience I know how powerful they can be.
The idea of His Secret Obsession is to help women become their man’s ‘secret obsession’.
Who wouldn’t want their partner (or future partner) to be completely obsessed with them?
In his book, James takes a good look at a number of different issues you might have faced in your relationship. All those roadblocks you keep hitting with each new (or old) relationship, such as:
Why men lose interest in women after such intense initial attraction
Why men have trouble committing to long-term relationships, especially when things seem so perfect at the start
Why men pull away. Ever had a partner go radio silent? James explains why and what to do about it.
James Bauer tackles these issues through a series of 14 attraction secrets that help women communicate better with their partner (or future partner).
I’m Tina Fey, founder of Love Connection.
Although my website is dedicated to love, that doesn’t mean my own love life has always been smooth sailing.
Finding Mr. Right is never simple and I’ve had my own struggles along the way.
Long story short: two years of dating the best man I’ve ever met, I noticed that the spark was gone and he was pulling away. I tried to reconnect with him on so many different levels, but nothing seemed to work.
So I decided to get a copy of His Secret Obsession. I’d heard great things about James Bauer, and wanted to see if any of the advice would work for me and my relationship.
The short answer is yes: today, I am happily engaged, taking that next step in our healthy relationship and I couldn’t be happier.
This book showed me exactly what was missing.
As I dive into this review, I will be offering both my view as a relationship expert, along with my own personal experience with this book.
His Secret Obsession is broken down into 3 main parts:
How the hero instinct works
The words and phrases you need to know to trigger it in your man
Text message formulas that you can start sending your man straight away.
The book itself is 217 pages long, and there are 17 chapters.
Throughout the book, you’ll come across 9 different “signals” which you can use on your man. They are:
The “I owe you” signal
The “private island” signal
The “X-ray question”
The “ex-back” signal
The “glimpse” phrase
The “damsel in distress” signal
The secret “currency” of happy relationships
The “silent action” signals
The “fascination” signal
For each signal, James Bauer gives you the words, phrases and text messages to use. These are more like “templates” that you can adapt to suit the circumstances of your particular relationship.
What I like most about the signals is that they’re subtle and can be worked into a conversation without him ever suspecting you’re triggering his hero instinct.
This is my biggest fear when it comes to self-help books. Am I going to be on-sold each step of the way? Will have I have to make five purchases just to access the information I was after?
That’s not the case here.
His Secret Obsession is yours for life with just one payment of $47. Not too much of a gamble if you’re determined to revamp your dating and relationship life.
Plus, you have a 60-day money-back guarantee. So, if the book doesn’t work out for you, then you can get your money back.
Let’s start first with what I liked most about His Secret Obsession.
Fact-based. To truly understand the hero instinct and how it works, you need to know where it comes from and how it’s back by research. James goes through this in detail in his book, giving you a deeper understanding of the concept to help you when it comes time to put it into practice.
Comprehensive: It explores relationships and dating from a number of angles and opens the door to more effective communication between men and women in romantic relationships. James doesn’t just introduce you to the concept and leaves you to figure out the rest. He really hashes it out the why and how of the hero instinct, so you are left with a well-rounded view.
Practical: There’s nothing worse than a self-help book that doesn’t offer up any tips or strategies. That’s not the case here. Following the strategies James’ shares, I was able to actively trigger the hero instinct in my man and understand our relationship on a whole new level.
Expertise: If there’s one thing I can’t overlook, it’s the expertise that James brings to the table in this book. The entire thing is well-researched and James explains the psychology behind every one of his claims.
While there was a lot I liked about His Secret Obsession, here is what could be improved.
Choice of wording. I feel that many of the concepts introduced in the book, women have actually used before. The truth is, we don’t know we are doing it, or why. I feel this should have been brought to attention more in his book. Rather than spelling it out as a revolutionary way to win men over, it’s simply showing us what works and why, and some of this we have used before. That is a much more powerful message for me as a reader.
12-word text follow-up. The 12-word text works. There’s no doubt about that. What I would have loved to see is a little follow-up to this. What next? I definitely got the response I wanted but could have done with a bit more guidance on how to keep it going.
