Does BDSM Have to Be Hardcore in Order to Be Right?

Many people outside the BDSM scene don't see the 'hardcore' BDSM players. These are those who live buck naked, or are completely covered in leather 24 hours a day. There is a place to exhibit BDSM and indulge (Folsom fair anyone?). This can be intimidating for someone new to the scene. It is possible to believe that to succeed at BDSM, you must be a hardcore. Do you believe this? Don't be alarmed, it's not.

Let's first define what "hardcore" means. Hardcore BDSM can be defined as playing as hard and as often as possible. You could beat someone to death, then put wax on them and have them pierce their ears. Not everyone is like that. Some people who do things that appear extreme are actually doing it for attention or to self-harm. Although they might not like the pain, they may feel so low in self-esteem that it is impossible to say no to their partner. This is not BDSM. BDSM is consensus. These extremes are not uncommon. Although pain sluts are not common, it is possible to go to these extremes. Hardcore is a person who does everything at the highest level, but this is not necessary.

If you are beginning to doubt whether your BDSM is being done correctly, you should ask yourself another question: Who is BDSM for? It doesn't matter if you are being a hardcore BDSM add-on to a relationship. Your BDSM Equipment only matters to the person you are in the relationship. Your Master/Master/Slave is happier than the rest of the world. You only need to be happy with your relationship, and content with the level of pain and pleasure. Talk to your partner if you're unhappy with the intensity at present. Be sure to compare your relationship with the rest of the world, and not others.

Strange things happen when BDSM people are together in a group, such as at a festival or play party. Everyone seems to feel the need for greater and bolder actions in these situations. This is a fun thing, and it's not something people do in their own homes. While exhibitionism is fun once in a while, it is not something that people do on their own. First, it takes time and money to do all that makeup and costuming. It's also not sustainable 24/7. It is not necessary to judge your own BDSM practice by what others are doing. BDSM in public is theater. It's something that's fun to see, but not something you do every day.

There is no BDSM definition that is right. This is something you can only decide for yourself. You will be surprised at how many books you can find on BDSM. You and your partner will be able to answer the question of whether you have to be a hardcore BDSM fan to have fun. Are you having fun? Are you being safe? This is all that matters, no matter how hardcore you are or if your cat suit or leather mask isn't complete.