Life of a paintballer with an ostomy
Life with a colostomy bag is not that bad. There are certain moves and slides I cannot do as the ostomy bag does get in the way. The bag is on my right abdomen so it makes leaning to the left a pain. I also can not do dives as that may pop the colostomy bag and spew poop and urine all over. No one wants to see or smell that, myself included. Tournaments are tough, I have to play at one hundred percent but my full capacity is still a bit less than everyone else because I can not do everything they can easily.
During practice, I give it all I got but still get shot out a lot. I can not dive so getting into a bunker all I can do is a hip slide. Oftentimes sliding on my hip gets me shot out because I can not get low enough to duck the rope of paint. I play on the ‘D side” or Dorito side for the people who do not play. The D side has some of the larger bunkers so it is better for me to be on that side as I can play crouched or standing. My bag does make it a bit difficult when I am shooting left handing and having to lean to the left. This movement puts strain on my ostomy bag and I have a fear I may accidentally rip it open one of these days, If I were to play the snake side would be in trouble.
The snake side is the lowest side. Every entry to the snake has to be a dive or you are getting hit. As I mentioned before I cannot dive of my ostomy bag will rupture and spill my toxic fluids all over, gross. Also on the snake side in order to move forward, you need to army crawl which also will not work out too well for me. There is also a lot of leaning from side to side in the snake trying to get into the perfect position to get hits but not get hit yourself. It is a good thing I play the D side.
In tournaments, I can get luck from time to time and get a bounce off my colostomy bag which means no paint ruptured on me so I am still in. My ostomy bag can have its perks from time to time. During these weekends it is nice as I do not have to go into the nasty smelling muggy feeling porta potty. I do step away when nature calls still as to respect boundaries and not freak anyone out.
As mentioned before the ostomy bag can give me a slight advantage when it comes to playing. Getting bounces is pretty rare with how brittle the paint is but my bag cushions the blow sometimes. Playing with the ostomy bag is not as bad as some people may think. It does have its disadvantages because I am not able to make all the moves everyone is able to but I manage and hang in there. Plus when I get a hit on someone I know they just got out by someone whos carrying around their toxic waste. I will continue to play and keep improving my abilities. My coaches believe in me and I do too.