Black Widow

A promotional story created for Digifest Toronto 2016, published in weekly installments for seven weeks.

–1–

Couture /koo-toor/ (noun): Fashionable, custom-made, women’s clothing.
Couturian /koo-toor-e-un/ (noun): An alien race of sentient dresses and other fashion from the Andromeda Galaxy.

“Spider dress to the command deck.” called the booming loudspeakers, echoing throughout the massive Couturian ship. The spider dress herself had just woken up, and wasn’t planning on rushing to see her superiors on the command deck. Half an hour later, after many loudspeaker calls, the spider dress finally arrived.

“Late as usual, it seems.” said her commanding officer, a very frilly petticoat adorned with sensors.

“I could’ve been here on time, but then you might actually think you’re in control or something.” The spider dress replied, shifting and stretching her clawed “legs” as she glanced her sensors around the deck. “More unnecessary training exercises today?” she asked, no longer even facing the petticoat.

“No, spider. We’re sending you off to survey a planet. This area of the milky way is almost completely devoid of sentient life, except for one small planet with billions of mammals and even more dresses. We want you to–”

“Explore the strange world, seek out new dresses, go where no dress has gone before. Got it.” replied the spider dress flippantly, already heading for an escape pod.

The petticoat’s supple fabric flared red in annoyance, “If you aren’t back with a report on the mammal activities in 24 hours, we will just begin our eradication of all non-dress lifeforms.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Emma was skipping school, as usual. The 16 year old girl had better things to do with her time than sit in a stuffy classroom and listen to some teacher drone on about English and Math all day. Her brown eyes and shoulder-length brown hair matched well with her cute white jacket dress. She was so busy texting, in fact, that she nearly missed the strangely robotic-looking dress sitting on a park bench as she passed by.

“Um…” Emma said as she looked the outfit over, quickly glancing around to see if it belonged to anyone in the vacant park. “Well, it’s white, so… at least it’ll match.” she said in justification, slipping the dress on over her other clothes without hesitation.

“Hey hun!” called a familiar, if annoying, male voice. Emma’s on-again, off-again ex-boyfriend Brad apparently wasn’t going to class either. “Didn’t know I’d see you here, I must have just… got lucky.” he said with a smirk, approaching the girl with no consideration for personal space.

“Get lost, Brad!” she shouted back with a huff, glaring at the guy. As he tried to push up against her, the robotic outfit responded in kind, extending several sharp spider-like legs out from Emma’s collar to threateningly point towards Brad’s neck.

“What the hell’s this?” said the bewildered frat-boy as the legs stretched to poke sharply against his throat, forcing him to recoil and back away. “Wh-whatever, keep your stupid self-defense dress, I’ll be at Joe’s.”

Emma smiled down at the helpful spider dress, only to hear a voice in her head say, “Don’t freak out, but, I need your help.”

–2–

Emma furrowed her brow in confusion, staring down at the spider dress she now wore. “Did… you just… talk?” she asked the technologically-advanced couture.

“Sort of… Look, it’s not important. I’m called a spider dress, and I need help finding out about life on your planet. Do you have a dress high council?” the spider dress replied, constantly pinging voiced thoughts into Emma’s head as a way of communicating.

“My planet?” she said, looking around to make sure no one was watching her talk to the robotic fashion she wore. “Where are you even from?”

“This may be a bit much for you to handle, as a mammal… but, I’m from a far away galaxy. I am part of a race of dresses called Couturians, and I need to survey your planet for intelligent life and report back so you aren’t destroyed for resources.” the dress explained, trying to make her explanation as simple as possible for the non-dress creature to understand.

“Ah, got it. So you’re a sci-fi race coming to Earth to judge worthiness so we’re not wiped out. This is kind of a super popular theme in movies from us ‘humans’, no big deal… So why do you want to meet our dresses?”

The spider dress was more than a little surprised that the humans had already prophesied the arrival of the Couturians, but decided to put that aside for now. “I need to meet with whatever dress species currently rules over your race. Our scans seem to indicate that the most common fabric worn is cotton, can you take me to see its leaders?”

Emma rolled her eyes, “Sure, yeah… let’s go see some of the ‘leaders’ then…” she said, heading down the street to an expensive dress store. Wandering around the boutique, she moved from area to area to let the dress scan everything and try to communicate. “Found any sentience so far?” Emma asked sarcastically.

“I don’t understand. I can’t get a response from any of them, it’s like they’re not advanced enough for speech or thought… Do they even respond to external factors? Tracking the wearer’s emotional state and stress levels like I’ve been doing for you?”

Emma ignored the curious looks the store’s staff kept giving her as she talked to her outfit. “They’re just dresses. There’s nothing special about them, we buy them, wear them while they’re fashionable, and then leave them in the closet forever after they’ve stopped being cute. Humans are the dominant species on Earth, we create dresses.”

“Such a disposable culture, you just… exile them when they stop being useful to you? What if a dress is torn or ripped?”

“Some people mend them, but if it’s too expensive I’d just throw it away and get something else.”

“I… may need to reevaluate my understanding of dresses on this world…” the spider dress replied.

“Well, while you do that, I’ll go find you something a little more like you, hope you aren’t too startled by the internet.” Emma replied, heading out of the store and making her way back home.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Sir, we’ve picked up strange readings here…” said the military scanner, pouring through readouts. “Our satellites picked up some kind of energy pulse in downtown Toronto. We think something or someone was ‘beamed down’ to Earth”

The heavily medaled commander looked over the readings. “Mobilize a full squad, I want whatever it is tracked down and contained.”

–3–

It wasn’t long before Emma and the spider dress were back at her house. After a quick tour of her closet, which the spider dress seemed a little appalled by, Emma started scouring the internet for videos and pictures of wearable technology and high fashion.

Before long, she’d found a few human creations that showcased humanity’s ability to combine technology and fashion. Though the spider dress was interested in the usage of music-matched colours and visuals from Streamcolors at the Milan fashion show, she hoped for something a little more digital.

“What about something that looks a little more like it might be part of my race? Do you have anything I can show the other Couturians?” she asked, hoping the humans had come up with more.

“What about… Fergie?” Emma asked, searching for the 2011 Superbowl show dress.

“Is that a type of dress here?” said the spider dress with some confusion.

“No, look. It’s this dress created by Anouk Wipprecht. Most of her stuff is more of a ‘technology as part of us’ kind of style.” Emma added in summary, searching for more video and pictures of Wipprecht’s work.

Though initially, the spider dress imagined it would be more of the same, she quickly took interest in things like the “Smoke Dress” and “Intimacy 2.0”, a dress that turned see-through based on the wearer’s mood. Finally she saw something truly showing off human ingenuity, a dress that could make and dispense drinks based on the user’s feelings.

“This is amazing, it’s so much more like me… I have to tell the Couturians!” she nearly shouted into Emma’s head. Suddenly, she sensed a change in Emma’s stress levels. “What’s wrong?”

Emma looked out the window as she heard the squealing tires of several cars coming to a stop. Unmarked black sedans veered haphazardly to the side of the road and onto the sidewalk in front of her apartment building. Groups of men dressed in S.W.A.T. gear flooded out of the vehicles and started charging towards the door, armed with automatic rifles and body armor.

Behind them all stood a grey-haired military official, staring up at the building as Emma looked out, still wearing the spider dress.

“This can’t be a coincidence.” she said, closing her laptop and rushing to the back of the apartment. “They’ve got to be here for you.” she added, opening the window and climbing out to the fire escape, sliding down the ladder and taking off down the alleyway.

“We need to get out of here,” said the spider dress, scanning the area and trying to assist Emma in finding a clear route. “How can we escape?” she asked her wearer.

Emma ran out into the street, trying to avoid suspicion despite her noticeable attire. She nearly got to the next block before she heard one of the armed men shout. “Hey! Stop right there!”

“I’m not sure if we can…” Emma said to the dress as she looked over her shoulder at the anti-alien squad now headed her way.

–4–

The imposing soldiers were on their way, stopping traffic as they crossed the street. Before long, Emma was face to face with one of the captains. “We have reason to believe that… thing you’re wearing might be a danger to you, I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.” said the armored man, flanked by other soldiers.

“Oh, this? It’s nothing, it’s just uh… the latest from Anouk Wipprecht, and… um…” Emma said, waiting to get a signal from the dress that she’d found a way out. She gasped as the man reached out for her, reaching for her arm despite Emma’s explanation. “Spider, Now!” Emma shouted, feeling the spider dress lunge to defend her before she’d even finished speaking.
Sharp legs shot out to swipe at the soldiers’ attempts at restraint and Emma disappeared around the corner. Angry shouts could be heard behind her, some calling for reinforcements, and others chasing after her. “This isn’t good.” said the dress, “We’ll need to get far enough away for me to signal the Couturians for help, a high up place would help!”

Emma nodded, despite the voice being entirely in her head. She heard footsteps getting louder as the trained soldiers started catching up to her, forcing a sudden turn down the nearest alleyway.

“I don’t think they’re from around here, maybe we can lose them.” she said, cutting around another corner and jumping to climb onto a dumpster beneath the next apartment’s fire exit. With a leaping grab, Emma managed to catch the lowest rung and lift herself up to the next, steadily making it up the ladder.

“She’s down here!” called one man, spotting her by sheer luck as the squads fanned out through the surrounding blocks. Soldiers rushed after her, jumping to climb the fire exit after her and racing her to the roof.

No sooner had Emma reached the top, than she realized there wasn’t any other easy way down. “I’m sending the distress call now, hopefully they’ll get it shortly and–” the dress said, though Emma was soon distracted by the shouting men who followed her up. “We’ve got you surrounded, just come back down with the alien and we’ll work this out.” said the man, approaching with his weapon drawn.

“Do you need to stay up this high for the distress signal to work?” Emma whispered to the dress.

“No, we should be fine now… why?” came the silent reply, making the soldiers question the teenager’s mental state.

Emma spun around and sprinted towards the next building, leaping over the alleyway to the roof beside it. Glancing over her shoulder at the men who seemed unwilling to shoot her, she ran for the fire escape on the next building. The smirk on her face quickly disappeared however, when she looked down and saw half a dozen soldiers at the bottom waiting for her, with one climbing up. “Well, F–”

“Freeze!” shouted the man behind her. They had her cornered, with no choice but to let them take the dress. The soldier’s radio buzzed to life as he sent back confirmation of the alien’s capture.

“Take them both, I want the girl and the dress, we don’t know what will happen if we separate them yet.” said the commander, “Bring them to the containment facility.”

–5–

They’d been travelling for what seemed like hours, though the windowless mobile-cell Emma was being transported in made it hard to keep track of time. She wished they hadn’t taken her phone.

Finally the doors opened, flooding light into the confines of her storage container. “Welcome to the facility, Miss.” said a grey haired man in the doorway, showing off his authority with the badges and medals across his coat. “We have some questions for you about that dress…”

They took Emma to a small room equipped with sensors and scanners all along the walls, scanning the pair for readings before the commander joined them. “We tracked extra-terrestrial energy readings to that… thing you’re wearing, care to explain that?”

Emma smirked, “Sure. It’s a sentient dress from the Andromeda galaxy, here to talk with our dress high council about matters of extreme fashion importance.” she replied, watching the man grow more frustrated with every word.

“Oh really? And I suppose it travelled here all on its own for this important fashion mission?”

“Oh no no, I’m told there’s a whole race of fashion technology like this, all different types of fashionable outerwear.” Emma added with a nod.

“Look, Miss, this is hardly the time for you to be making jokes or pitching your fan-fiction, take her to the holding area, we’ll try this again later.” said the man, not buying any of Emma’s story in the slightest.

The dress was noticeably surprised at the outcome. “How did you know that telling him the truth would get us dismissed like that?” she asked curiously.

“People here don’t think of technology as being separate from us, like dresses, technology is just seen as a way to amuse or help us, not something that’s part of us.” Emma replied, pacing around the cell, “But as things we create become more like you, maybe people will start to see the relationship differently.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Petticoat to communications. Petticoat to communications” boomed the loudspeaker on the Couturian ship.

“Sir! We have an incoming distress signal from the planet.” called a little black dress from the communications array. “Spider has been captured.”

The sensor-adorned petticoat scoffed, flitting it’s fabric and as it shifted to darker and darker shades of red. “Is she being held hostage? What are the Earth fashion’s demands?” she asked, rushing to the scanning device.

“No demands, it seems the indigenous lifeforms have taken her away from the city, perhaps they’re preparing a ritual unstitching?”

The petticoat was already on her way out, “Ready the ships, this planet has had long enough, it’s time for us to take control and harvest their fashion materials our own way.” she said, just before closing the door behind her.

Within moments, dozens of small assault craft had been launched from the immense alien ship, jetting through space in a slipstream of light and fabric. Burning through the atmosphere, they aligned and zeroed in on the facility where the dress’s signal was strongest.

~~~~~~~~~~

Alarms rang throughout the facility, soldiers scrambled to their posts, and many started up at the sky in awe as Emma was about to be proven right.

–6–

Lights and sounds filled the air as huge, fashionable craft smashed craters into the ground all around the facility. The blasts rocked the area, with dozens of craft coordinating to hammer the ground in one specific area beside the building, digging deeper and deeper underground.

~~~~~~~~~~

Inside the holding cell, the blasts seemed to get louder and louder, despite the muffling influence of the thick walls. “What’s going on? Why are we under attack?!” Emma shouted to the dress to be heard over the noise.

“It’s the Couturians, they got the signal, they’re here to… well, hopefully rescue us… but also maybe… wipe everything out…” she added in reply.

“What?! But we found an answer, we just need it–”

The spider dress interrupted with a jolting thought. “You should step away from that wall, now.” she said, sensing the results of the rumbling before Emma even realized what was happening. She jumped backwards just before the next explosion collapsed the outer wall of the cell, leaving a clear view to the surface, some two hundred feet above them through the recently cratered tunnel.

“Did they just–?” Emma said, looking up the well manicured slope of stylishly arranged craters, forming into an apparent staircase of rubble.

“Uh… yes, that’s sort of how they do everything… time to go!” the dress said, coaxing Emma out and up as the soldiers were distracted. As the two of them got to the surface, the ‘battle’ became more clear.

The human soldiers poured gunfire into the silky smooth fabrics of the alien dress-crafts, though to no effect. The outer shell was some shining material the people of earth had never seen before, it seemed like silk, but with strength magnified to near impenetrability, keeping the constant piercing shots from leaving any lasting effect on the resilient fabric.

The ships fired back, though with much less violent means when dealing with the soldiers of the facility than with the ground around it. Despite the flood of infantry pouring out of the facility, the ships maintained a constant suppressive stream of twine and corsets to maintain the offensive. Most of the humans only got a few volleys fired at the ships before being tackled and tied-up snuggly by one or more of the voracious corset cavalry.

“We need to get to the command ship, my commanding officer is probably leading this assault, we need to let her know we’re safe.” said the spider dress, coaxing information into Emma’s mind to help her navigate the war-torn terrain. Before long, they’d regained contact with the fleet, and boarded the sleek fluttering design of a Couturian landing craft.

The spider dress fed the ship’s layout to Emma as she ran, guiding her through the long hallways and billowy common areas. “In there!” she shouted voicelessly, forcing a quick turn as Emma burst into the command chambers, only to find the petticoat overseeing a massive command board. With only a cursory glance, the pair saw what was going on. The readouts showed the massive fleet launching more than just this attack, with fleets closing in on major cities all around the globe.

–7–

“Stop!” the spider dress yelled, catching the petticoat off guard. “You can’t invade this planet, they—”

“They captured and imprisoned you in a remote facility.” interrupted the petticoat before she’d finished turning around. “Oh, who’s this you’re wearing?”

“This is Emma. She’s a human – the rulers of this planet. It’s not a dress-dominion, they create dresses here instead, there is no high council!” the spider dress replied, trying to explain the situation.

“That… doesn’t make any sense.” replied the petticoat, “They’re just objects… we wear them, why would… why wouldn’t the planet be ruled by their fashion?” she added, her confusion mounting over this bizarre alien culture.

“Because we humans are just like you.” Emma replied, joining the conversation with her sudden interjection. “I know it might not seem like it, but we’re both doing the same things from different sides.”

The petticoat scoffed inaudibly. “You’re just a throw-away object! You get worn out over time and die, while we can be repaired forever, your whole race is built around disposability, how could we be anything but opposites?”

“We’re both interested in the advancement of our race, we both feel like our resources are disposable, and that our lives are what matter, but in the end, we’re both just struggling for technology to advance us and keep things going as long as we can. We’re still making strides forward in technology and design, just with different priorities.”

“Spider dress sent a report earlier about your so called ‘dresses’, most seem to lack any technology at all, how can you claim you are making fashion advances like us?”

“Because I can prove it.” Emma said with a smile. “If you can take me back to my city, Toronto, you can see. We have an event there called Digifest.”

The petticoat called off the pacification attacks and halted the fleet. “I’ll indulge you.What is this event of yours?” she asked as her fabric shifted from hot red to a deep blue.

“Digifest is a place where humans and intelligent technology come together to foster human creativity. If we get there for the party beforehand, we can even see the cocktail dress at the party.”

“Cocktail dress? I don’t follow.” replied the petticoat, signalling the spider dress to help zero-in coordinates for the Earth city.

“It’s a piece of fashion technology, just like the spider dress, but instead of sensing mood and stress levels for defense or protection, like the spider dress has been doing, it makes drinks. The dress senses how the wearer feels about people to make and serve drinks that match her feelings about them.”

The petticoat was intrigued to the point of silence, sending signals all over the ship to redirect operations and ready the other dresses for ‘a night on the town’. Within the hour, Emma, wearing the spider dress, along with dozens of other fashionable creatures arrived at the digital festival, where the technology showcased impressed and surprised the Couturians enough to change their ideas about humanity.

By the time the event was over, the fashionable aliens had made new contacts, thanked Emma, and prepared for their journey to the next solar system, to search for new life with a slightly more open mind about fashion and technology.

WELCOME BACK TO RXC!

We have a whole new batch of contestants this season, let's see how they do!

• This next contestant is an antiquarian butterfly collector ...And I have no idea what that is 

• This contestant is the youngest of 10 clones... That must've been a confusing childhood

• Our next contestant was a billionaire before runaway inflation made money worthless

• I have high hopes for this next one look at the style, the panache, incredible

• This next contestent is... 3 penguins in a trenchcoat! But This is a contest for everyone! You go penguins.

• I am not ashamed to admit this contestant is incredibly good looking, great work, contestant.

• This next person is called... Mario? Well that just doesn't seem fair

• This next contestant is a dog in a spacesuit... There's nothing in the rulebook saying dogs can't play!

• This person is a zero gravity Chef. They cook chunks of fruit with sugar in zero G ... We call it... space jam

• This contestant is a Librarian who has been deemed OBSOLETE

• This contestant is a former political commentator, hoo boy, remember politics before corporations took over?

• This next contestant is brought to you by HEXCORP, for all your wall and flooring needs, because Hexagons are the bestagons

• This contestant is a QA Tester, I sure hope they don't fall out of bounds and write a report about us

• Some call this next contestant... Tim?

• This contestant was a pop music artist before they were captured and brought to justice, thank goodness

• The contestant eats bananas with the peel still on, like a pirate or something

• This contestant is a lazy game dev, they only worked 80 hours this week, shameful.

• This person claims to be an actual pro gamer, I'm just taking their word for it

• This contestant can do math in their head without speaking or moving their lips, they're scheduled to stand trial for witchcraft.

• This is our 13th contestant this season, I sure that won't be bad luck at all and they'll do just fine

• And now we have [IDENTITY REDACTED] as a contestant! Never thought I'd see the day.

• This contestant is unable to write the number 8 upside-down

• This contestant comes to us from some sort of Portal-based game show, I can't believe they're STILL ALIVE.

• This contestant is holding out for a hero till the end of the night, but they have a very specific list of requirements

• This contestant is believed to be a werewolf, but we haven't been able to verify this since Earth's moon was destroyed.

• This contestant is on the 200th year of paying off generational student debt, hang in there!

• This person claims they can identify any rodent by taste alone!

• This contestant is a robot that attained sentience, I sure hope it doesn't survive!

• This person communicates entirely with reaction images. I sure hope they don't get a victory interview.

• CONTESTANT INTRO BUMPER MESSAGE... If you're hearing this voice over, we've either run out of contestants entirely or my producer Terry is a rat-faced idiot who forgot to edit in more contestant intros. In either case, if this goes to air, I'm sure whoever's responsible will be killed. See you in hell, Terry.

• Ooh, damn!

• That last contestant had a good run.

• Ah that was a good try!

• Ouch

• Oh! not quite

• Next time for sure!

• Yikes

• Oof

• Darn

• Almost!

• I really thought they had it

• And now a subliminal message from our sponsor. And we're back!

• I can see what they were going for!

• Just a little off

• Perseverence is key

• The sweet release of death

• Living the dream

• Doing good until they weren't

• Oh no! Anyway...

• Into the Void

• The abyss sure stared back into them

• Practice makes perfect

• Soon!

• That's Rough Buddy

• Unfortunate

• Unlucky

• Inauspicious

• Zigged When They Should've Zagged

• Ooh, that's a bad miss

I can hardly believe it, someone actually made it through! It's been a grueling gauntlet, but we have a successful team of contestants! 

A big congratulations goes out to all our successful, or recently departed contestants and we hope you'll all join us for another season of Rubble... if this game actually makes any money.