Patch on a Tail Rotor

I was once stationed aboard the USS Guadalcanal (LPH‑7), an amphibious helicopter carrier—similar to a regular aircraft carrier, but only about a quarter of the size. The ship was designed to carry Marines and the helicopters that would transport them ashore. The Marines and their aircraft were only aboard during training exercises or deployments. This incident happened when no Marines were embarked, and it didn’t involve one of their helicopters. If it had, there probably would have been bloodshed.

The ship did have one helicopter permanently assigned by the Navy. It fell under the Air Department, run by the Air Boss—a commander and, naturally, a pilot. One morning, as I walked down a passageway toward a hatch leading into the hangar bay, the hatch suddenly slammed open, and the Air Boss came storming through. He was red‑faced, furious, and yelling things that would make even a sailor blush. I knew better than to stay in his path, so I ducked into the nearest compartment and waited for the storm to pass.

Once he was gone, I stepped into the hangar bay to see what had set him off.

During his morning inspection of the ship’s helicopter, he had discovered what appeared to be a metal patch bolted onto one of the tail rotor blades. The tail rotor—the small propeller at the end of the tail boom—keeps the helicopter from spinning uncontrollably due to torque from the main rotor. Its blades spin at high speed and must be perfectly balanced. A four‑inch metal plate bolted to one blade would have destroyed the rotor the moment it turned, sending debris flying and likely injuring anyone nearby. No wonder the Air Boss was enraged.

As it turned out, the “patch” was a prank. Some sailors had cut the heads off four bolts, screwed the short shafts into nuts, and glued the nuts to the corners of a thin metal plate. When the plate lay on a table, it looked exactly like it had been bolted down. They sprayed it with primer, smeared grease on the back, and stuck it to the rotor blade. It wasn’t dangerous—the moment the rotor moved, the plate would have fallen off—but it certainly looked convincing.

I never found out what happened to the sailors responsible. I didn’t see them at Captain’s Mast, so they weren’t formally charged with anything. But I have no doubt the Air Boss made their lives miserable for a while.