“Please God”, we bargain….I promise to ….or what if I … . We want life returned to what is was; we want our loved one back. We want the pain to go away: …if only, if only, if only.
During these times, we find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we should have done differently. The guilt can be heavy and draining. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt. And we can become exhausted by it.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there; I did not die.
Mary Elizabeth Frye, American florist, 1905-2004