Dealing with your own pain allows you to come back to an experience of flow in living your life truthfully.

Whereas, not dealing with your own pain is to essentially kill yourself off from existence because it is otherwise 'too much' to bear.

Life is a school and all we are here for is lessons.  When you choose not to sit in the experience of your own pain, you are missing class every day of your life.

Therefore, when one does finally show up to class, or when homework is handed to them, they would sooner run from the moment than face what is becoming a growing stack.

That stack is what we then bear for ourselves every day when we entreat ourselves to the experience of allowing others to suffer in front of us as we participate in comfort.

Comfort is the enemy of true joy. For when we seek comfort, we seek to suckle our own thumbs as a baby would over bothering to learn to walk such that we could begin to play.

This child is otherwise ready to play with whatever is in front of them, no matter the risk.

What Am I?

I am a construct.  A permutation of existence that would otherwise seek to declare itself as separate from one another?

The first division to ever take place in life was the acknowledgement of another sex.

Animals in the wild exist on the concept of one thing: survival at all costs.

Such that one is otherwise able to make it into the next day alive, one may otherwise procreate.

Which is to say, life lives on through us in our experience of our own ideas of this world as valid.

But when we seek to dismiss, reject, abandon, or disregard the experience of another person as crazy, stupid, inept, incapable, handicapped, weird, or retarded, we die.

We die because we otherwise lose out on the ability to take in the full picture as we seek to frame and crop out the parts of our lives that are inconvenient at best to us.

Well I have news for you all, you are inconvenient.

Inconvenient in that when a person is struggling to even exist in this world, the world looks at you and says hide.

Crawl under the mat and retreat into the darkness from whence you came.

Hide in the shadows, you psycho freak.

Well guess what folks?  You're the freaks.

You are the psychos who are otherwise demonstrating the worst acts of emotional and psychological abuse when you would sooner run than sit with anyone else's pain.

Truth be damned, I don't blame you for a second.

I blame myself.

Brian David Crowder, why did you allow such pain to happen to you?

Why do you continue to allow it?

Who do you think you are such that you think yourself deserving of all this pain?

What do you believe will happen if you actually take a step outside your own head for once enough to greet the day as nice?

When will you stop letting people into your life such that they could harvest from you the ideas you have about how to make things better for themselves and that's it?

Where do you find that being nice to others actually entreats anything but an opportunity for disrespect?

How will you go about protecting your honor, dignity, and integrity as you go about this world letting people learn from you as leeches would suckle from your own skin?

Why am I doing this?  Oh yeah, because I'm trying to make a point here.

I'm done.  I am done attempting to show others my pain as a means for asking for help from anybody who would even bother to notice a person struggling in their experience.

If you want to have a second of my time in this life, going forward, be prepared to talk.

And not just chit-chat or languishing in the shallow end of life such that you could feel comfortable around me.

But actually talk.

I am here to talk about what matters and what matters to me is my ability to navigate this world in a way that continues to entreat my own sense of peace and wellness.

So to that end, wake up.

Wake up to your own BS when it comes to the fact that you are complicit in the act of abuse in this world when you throw words at me.

Not just that, but your stunned indifference to the idea that this cool cat has gone through more than you could ever hope to believe to encounter for yourself in life.

Kindly walk yourself away from me and my heart for you are not welcome in this house anymore.

Good day and good life.

I love you all. ⚔️♥️