FAQ

1. Do you act through a foundation, association or independently?

I am doing this project entirely on my own, based on my own experiences from the lawsuit. Of course, it is always possible to collaborate with foundations, associations, parties and individuals. In the future, the project may continue as a foundation or association. But it is not possible yet. If we switch to a foundation or association, the idea and character of the project remains the most important. That everyone has a voice that can be heard.

Why not a foundation? Because I believe that foundations cannot be free. If someone makes statements or takes actions, this must be in line with the foundation or association. I have not received any support from agencies such as Victim Support. The reason for this is that Emmy and I were not "legal partners". Even though we had been together for 13 years, we were not married or had a prenuptial agreement or cohabitation agreement. And then you are just a person who knows the victim but nothing else. You have no rights whatsoever.

You also often hear that a foundation or association does not support a person's position or statement. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and should express it. A foundation or association should support its members, but often it is fear that goes around. I am done with having to remain silent from various authorities. A voice can be heard.

2. Why are these actions or changes so important?

I have encountered many issues during the lawsuit. Things that should and can be arranged much better. Things that in my legal training seem very different from reality. For example, it is strange that no one asked questions during the drafting of the law for affection damages as to why a brother and sister are not entitled to affection damages. Or that the cleaning of a crime scene is not arranged. And there are countless more examples. It won't make any difference in Emmy and I's case. But hopefully I can make a difference for future victims and relatives. We must not forget that relatives are also victims. That they suffer from the choices made by the suspect/perpetrator.

3. How do you plan to make a difference or changes?

The law and the judiciary are very cumbersome devices. In fact you could say that they are not leading with a future vision. But you have to start somewhere. Enter into discussions with all parties. But also start the conversation preventively. Not only with the authorities but also with the youth, for example. By explaining that these choices influence the victim, the surviving relatives and their loved ones and also influence their own lives. Unfortunately, we see that the suspects/perpetrators in such cases are becoming increasingly younger. While the punishment in juvenile criminal law is low.

Quite a lot has changed in recent years and this is largely due to relatives. But we're not there yet. There are still too many victims to mourn. And not only in the Netherlands but worldwide. Unfortunately, something has to happen before changes can be initiated. Sitting still is not an option, then nothing will change. Every step towards change is one.

4. How do you finance this project or how is the project financed?

Unfortunately, in the appeal, the Public Prosecution Service asked the court to dismiss my affection damage, which was accepted by the court. Despite the fact that affection damages were awarded to me by the court in the 1st instance. Unfortunately, I cannot invest the compensation for affection damage in the project. I will pay for the financing of the project out of my own pocket. I have set up a donation campaign where a donation can be made to the project. This is to cover the costs of the website, advertising, publication materials, information materials and other costs.

The most important thing is that victims and relatives are heard. That they don't get the same treatment that I received. In addition to the loss of my partner, this has broken me down even further. And that is simply not appropriate. As a victim or survivor you should be given more relief. You're having a hard enough time with the loss and the grieving process.

5. Do you think you can prevent or stop femicide?

No, I definitely don't have that impression. Femicide will always exist as long as humanity does not change. Not learning from the past. We don't want wars but there will always be war somewhere. We can, however, make people aware of the existence of femicide. Raise awareness of the consequences involved. That not only the life of a victim changes with femicide. We must not only make a difference but also really become a difference. The road to change is long, but every step forward is in the right direction. Every casualty that can be prevented is a blessing. And it is precisely that change that is important. Every person is unique. Femicide is not only a problem in the Netherlands but is a worldwide problem. You can't just solve that. Fortunately, there is much more attention to this than was previously the case.

6. I know something about a certain matter. What can I do best?

It is best to contact the relevant authorities directly, the police or the judiciary on one of the known numbers, via an anonymous report or via the internet. Silence is not an option. If you ever become a victim in a case, you would not want people to remain silent. Then you would also want people to come forward. It not only provides peace or answers to victims, surviving relatives and loved ones, but also to yourself. Do you know anything about a case? Then don't remain silent but report this. Even though it seems like a small tip, it can mean the difference in a case.