one in the same
Embedded Files
Rebecca Panos
There’s a girl that lives in me
She keeps my wounds open,
because she can.
She's awake when I'm asleep
plants gardens of lies
I'll wake up to weed
She likes to remind me
everything I bury deep
Sifting through shelves of memories
until she finds one
that will make me weak
She keeps me on a leash,
And laughs as the collar chokes me
She locks my lips
when I sit down to eat.
ties my stomach into knots
tells me to say
I’m sorry, I already ate
Sometimes it’s hard to tell
who’s the one talking.
It’s scaring me,
our voices
becoming one
My reflection,
in the puddle on the sidewalk
the glass panes of buildings
doesn't match my recollection.
She’s a warm blanket of flesh
Nothing more,
Nothing less.
She shuts her eyes at night
I come alive,
As she retreats
My claws dig into her brain
Scratching the walls that frame it
Free to roam
I pay no mind
Doesn't she like it when it hurts?
I can tell when she feels me,
Legs start to quiver
She tries to fight against me,
I lock her jaw as a reminder
Who is in charge
I feed her words to say
I’m sorry, I already ate
Sometimes it’s hard to tell
who’s the one talking.
It invigorates me
our voices
becoming one
Our reflection,
in the puddle on the sidewalk
the glass panes of buildings
matches my vivid imagination.
Rebecca Panos (b. 2001, Chicago, IL) is an artist based in New York City, where she explores the rich tapestry of narrative, delving into ancestry, identity, and the stories woven between individuals. Drawing from her Greek lineage, Panos employs writing, weaving, sewing, and crocheting to merge heritage with contemporary expression. Her meticulously crafted pieces serve as reflections of the contemporary discord within her fragmented queer identity, bridging tradition with the present. Central to Panos's exploration is the examination of communication and its complexities, delving into the labor of interpretation and interpersonal dynamics. The concept of "home" echoes throughout her work, capturing tangible and intangible moments that shape lives and histories. For Panos, duration is a reflective process, encapsulating life as a series of attempts, intricacies, and vulnerabilities. Through oral histories and fragmented narratives, her work becomes a diary, reflecting the labor of relationships present and passed down through time. Recent exhibitions include: Queer Knowing Curated by Blair Simmons at All Street Gallery, New York, NY (2023); To Darken, Lightly, Curated by Audra Lambert at LIC-A Art Space, Long Island City, NY (2023); Transversal: Where We Come From and Where We Are Going 80WSE Gallery, New York, NY (2023); In the Meantime The Commons Gallery, New York, NY (2023); Resonance The Commons Gallery, New York, NY (2023); First Come “B” Dry Goods, Brooklyn, NY (2023); The End is Near Rosenberg Gallery, New York, NY (2022); and The Past Impending The Commons Gallery, New York, NY (2022). She has received various awards including, The Chen Cui Family Award, presented by New York University, and Central Society Nestani (Tsipianiton) Scholarship, presented by the town of Nestani, Greece. Recent press includes: "Queer Knowing: A Prideful Celebration at All Street Gallery" by OnlyChild Magazine.
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