It's not a Clock, it's a Countdown

Ellen Adell McMahon

I deleted my Twitter today

When will you have a baby?

You are already thirty-three…

Tick Tock

One minute to midnight

Genocide haunts my feed

Babies are dying in tents 

Halfway across the world

I give $100

My heart beats in my throat

Tick Tock

Geriatric pregnancy

The environment is a bomb about to go off

Body dysmorphia grips my ankle

Trans rights are being dismantled

What makes a woman? 

Don’t forget to call your mother 

I dye my hair blue, pink, green

Tick Tock

Addicted to Amazon

I dread leaving my house

You just got married? 

That's so nice!

When are you going to have a baby? 

You won't be young forever…

Tick Tock

Abortion bans imminent

I now have more rights as a corpse

Rotting in a car crash

Little red heart

She’s a donor

Who will get my eyes?

What about my heart?

Tick Tock

Someone I don’t know killed themselves today 

And I can’t stop reading their suicide note

Baby?

Do I even want children?

Tick Tock

Hold your horses

You made a promise 

No matter who you think is safe

Your body is always property 

Of your family

Of your husband

Of your marriage

My husband’s friends want him to just impregnate me

Cause fuck what I want right?

He holds me as I fall asleep 

I’ve been tricked before

Tick Tock

I don’t want to lose myself 

I’m only just figuring out who I AM

WHO AM I? 

WHAT DO I WANT?

Tick Tock

I wanted to die earlier this year

How long until the meds stop working?

They want to take my pills

I can’t fucking function without them

Baby?

Baby!!?!?!

BABY???????

Tick Tock

Hands on my stomach

Covering my face

Through my hair

In my mouth

Up my cunt

Grasping 

Fighting 

Clinging

Sticky 

Greasy 

Ooey

Gooey

Just a taste

Filling my ribcage 

Exploding out of my mouth 

Tick Tock

Buried with the teenager

Is the albatross

In an unmarked grave

Will I even survive this

A child makes me vulnerable

Fascism rises

When I die, I want to be a tree

Tick Tock