The Strange//The Dreamer

Cryptid Parke

CHARACTERS: 

BOBLE Detective. Smokes bubbles. Trying so hard to be film noir but is actually girlypop. Like bubble but Bob. 

LAMBY Sidekick. Is trying too hard. Plays music at inappropriate times. Perhaps bleats sometimes. 

THE DREAMER Narrator. Breaks the fourth wall? Has Opinions™ about what is going on with the detectives. 

GYLFANGINNING Creature. Watches. Waits. Screeches at times. Shadowy. Gill-fang-in-ing. 

SYNOPSIS: 

Two detectives investigate a strange creature on the python farm while an omniscient being interrupts. 

SETTING: 

A rural python farm. Perhaps there are stray pythons. Perhaps there is a fence to jump over. 

NOTES FOR DIRECTOR: 

Genderfuck. This is a weird little play, embrace the weirdness. 

SONG LIST: 

Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper 

Karma Chameleon by Culture Club 

Talking in Your Sleep by The Romantics 

Seven Tears by Goombay Dance Band 

Call Me by Blondie 

Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking 

We Built This City by Starship

THE STRANGE//THE DREAMER 

(The stage is empty. In the distance, 

Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper 

starts playing. By the fence, GYLFANGINNING 

stands watching the audience from 

the shadows. THE DREAMER sits with 

the audience.)

(BOBLE walks on smoking his bubbles. 

He is comically serious given the fact 

that he is blowing bubbles with 

the same intensity as a film noir detective 

would smoke their cigar.) 

BOBLE 

Lamby, would you quit that? We have an image to maintain. 

(LAMBY runs on holding a Bluetooth 

speaker. The song abruptly comes 

to an end as she pauses it and pouts.) 

LAMBY 

But boss, think of it! Boble and Lamby: the musical crime-fighting detective duo! 

(At this point, GYLFANGINNING lets out 

a piercing screech, jumps over the 

fence, and ducks behind a corner. 

LAMBY screams.) 

LAMBY 

What was that? 

(BOBLE and LAMBY freeze in time. 

THE DREAMER stands up from the

 audience.) 

THE DREAMER 

What an odd pair, don't you think? One has to wonder why they work together. 

(They get up in BOBLE's face, take 

his bubbles, and blow them, perhaps 

smears them on his face. They put the 

bubbles back in his hand.)

And what they are doing so far out from the city.

(THE DREAMER sits on the fence. BOBLE 

and LAMBY unfreeze. BOBLE 

sputters and wipes bubbles off of his face.) 

BOBLE 

You need to take this seriously; we won't get new jobs if you keep goofing off. (Under his breath) Why I even bother keeping you around is a mystery even I can't solve. 

LAMBY 

(Ignoring him) 

I'll go check over here boss! Don't you even worry, I'll be super professional. 

(LAMBY presses play on the speaker and 

Seven Tears by Goombay Dance Band plays 

as she walks back to the fence where 

THE DREAMER now sits. LAMBY does not 

acknowledge THE DREAMER, almost 

as if she cannot see them. The music 

fades out as they round the corner.)

BOBLE 

Ugh. That kid.

(BOBLE exits on the opposite side, blowing 

his bubbles in exasperation. Once they are 

both gone, GYLFANGINNING runs out 

and sniffs at the ground where they 

were standing. THE DREAMER stands 

and GYLFANGINNING 

freezes in time.) 

THE DREAMER 

What a lonely creature. Poor thing. It doesn't even realize what it wants. After all, what use does a solitary creature have for words such as 'kinship' and 'connection'? 

(THE DREAMER moves to a new spot 

in the audience and sits. GYLFANGINNING 

straightens and looks around again.) 

GYLFANGINNING 

Strange people. Strange things. Scary. Threat. 

(It screeches and scurries off. BOBLE 

comes running in, blowing his

bubbles aggressively.)

BOBLE 

Lamby! Did you see that? 

(LAMBY rushes on, Call Me by Blondie 

playing from her speaker.) 

LAMBY 

I'm here Mr. Boble boss-sir! What is it? 

BOBLE 

How many times do I have to tell you to turn that off? 

(LAMBY obliges begrudgingly.) 

The creature that has been terrorizing this poor python farm! Did you not see it? 

(GYLFANGINNING is standing in the background watching them again. BOBLE whips around to look for it, but it ducks and hides.) 

BOBLE 

This is getting us nowhere! We should split up and search the property. If we don't get rid of the creature that has been terrorizing this farm then we will get bad press and no one will come to us with any more cases. 

(Scooby-Doo-like shenanigans ensue as 

BOBLE, LAMBY, and GYLFANGINNING 

run back and forth across the stage 

while We Built This City by Starship plays. 

At one point, BOBLE and LAMBY back 

into each other and freak out. 

THE DREAMER can step in and reposition 

people without their knowledge so that 

more chaos ensues. It ends with BOBLE and 

LAMBY running off stage and 

GYLFANGINNING standing in the 

middle looking distressed.)

THE DREAMER 

Gylfanginning, why do you look so upset? 

(GYLFANGINNING looks around, confused, 

then settles on THE DREAMER. This is 

the first time a character sees them.)

GYLFANGINNING 

Scared. 

THE DREAMER 

Of the strangers? 

GYLFANGINNING 

No. Go pop. 

THE DREAMER 

Ah, I see. May I offer you some courage? 

(Sung a cappella to Cheri Cheri Lady 

by Modern Talking) 

CHERI, CHERI LADY 

GOIN' THROUGH A MOTION 

LOVE IS WHERE YOU FIND IT 

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART 

CHERI, CHERI LADY 

LIVING IN DEVOTION 

IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THE FIRST TIME

LET ME TAKE A PART

CHERI, CHERI LADY 

LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW 

TAKE MY HEART, DON'T LOSE IT 

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART

(GYLFANGINNING hesitates, then runs off. 

THE DREAMER looks longingly after it 

and disappears around the corner. BOBEL and 

LAMBY run on together, out of breath.) 

BOBLE 

What, no song for this occasion? 

LAMBY 

We were running for our lives! When did you think I had time to queue a song? 

(GYLFANGINNING steps forward as 

they argue, hesitant but brave.)

LAMBY 

HOLY SHIT IT'S BACK!! 

(BOBLE brandishes his bubbles.) 

BOBLE 

Back foul beast! We have come to discover your identity and remove you from this python farm. 

(GYLFANGINNING recoils from the 

bubbles, but tries to be brave.) 

GYLFANGINNING 

Sorry. Sorry. Friend? 

BOBLE 

What? 

LAMBY 

I think it wants to be our friend. 

(BOBBLE sighs, exasperated. He blows his 

bubbles aggressively. LAMBY notices how 

GYLFANGINNING recoils from the bubbles.) 

LAMBY 

Wait a minute. 

(She takes BOBLE's bubbles and 

moves a few steps away.) 

See, it's not as nervous. It's not dangerous, it's just scared of your bubbles! You know what this means, right? 

BOBLE

 I-- 

GYLFANGINNING 

Bubble. Leave? 

(GYLFANGINNING pulls a sad puppy 

face and slowly, BOBLE caves.) 

BOBLE 

Ugh! Fine! Bubble leave.

(He takes the bubbles from LAMBY 

and chucks them off stage.)

Bubble leave. I'm Detective Boble. 

LAMBY 

And I'm Lamby! 

(Long bleat) 

GYLFANGINNING

Gylfanginning! 

(They all stare at each other for a 

moment, and Lamby holds up her speaker.) 

LAMBY 

Mr. Boble boss-sir, can I? 

(BOBLE looks exasperated, but nods. LAMBY 

presses play on the speaker and they all 

begin to dance and sing to Karma Chameleon 

by Culture Club for a few verses.) 

(They all skip off hand in hand while continuing 

to sing. THE DREAMER steps forward 

for the final time and addresses the audience.) 

THE DREAMER 

Dreams are strange things, don't you think? 

(They start to turn away, but stop.) 

Oh, you didn't know? You think something this odd could be real? 

(THE DREAMER sits back with the audience 

and addresses someone sitting next to them.) 

THE DREAMER 

Dreams exist to teach us something. What have you learned?

(They probe the audience member for an 

answer. Something along the lines of 

"accepting our differences" and "friendship" 

is what they should land on.) 

THE DREAMER 

Very good. Now, it's time to take your final bow, it's time to wake up. 

(Talking in Your Sleep by The Romantics 

plays as THE DREAMER stands, takes a 

bow, and walks off.) 

END