Echoes of my path
Echoes of my path
I grew up in a conservative culture with three siblings - all brothers whom I love to death.
My parents were average people, humble and hardworking.
Despite the financial struggles and frequent fights, they've done their best to raise us well.
My childhood was challenging because of my sensitive personality.
I absorbed lots of limiting beliefs and subconscious programming that didn't serve me when I grew up.
From a young age. I developed a coping mechanism by:
• pleasing others, at the expense of my own needs.
• suppressing my emotions to keep peace.
• never stepping out of my comfort zone.
School didn't help either – I was an average student. I didn't have many friends and I was bullied because I was too petite.
To make matters worse?
I was constantly compared to my older brilliant brother who excelled at everything.
My parents expected me to be his match.
My teachers pointed out how I wasn't like him.
And with my average grades – my self-confidence was dwindling.
The self-doubts started crippling in and I began questioning my worth.
But I was stubborn and highly ambitious.
I worked harder because I wanted to prove to myself – and my parents that I could be just as capable – just as accomplished.
I had a passion for writing and languages, so I isolated myself from my environment and created my safety bubble.
I'd spend all my spare time
Reading
Journaling
Learning languages
That was my safe place and how I chose to stay connected to my true self.
When I finished high school – The time had come to make a critical decision.
A tiny part of me wanted to follow my passions, but I felt the weight of my parents’ expectations.
And since my brother had already chosen a scientific path. I caved and followed his lead.
Bottom line
I ignored my intuition because other people's opinions were more important than my own.
I paid the cost dearly.
Lesson 1
Always put yourself first.
Trusting your intuition is one of the highest forms of self-love, you'll have that place of inner peace no matter where life takes you
I majored in mathematics – a choice I resented with each passing day.
Life only got busier and harder so I dropped the habit of writing.
Who had the time when I was drowning in research papers anyway?
My college years blurred by and despite the mental struggle I graduated top of my class.
I got my first job as a math teacher – I could've aimed higher but my self-doubts held me back.
However, I always had this dream of living overseas as an expat.
So I crafted a plan – Work harder and save money to fund a PhD abroad.
In my mind back then, that was the only way I could leave!
Teaching became a vehicle. A so-called escape.
Little did I know – That wasn't the right escape plan at all, because the dream was not even mine to begin with.
I hated my job from day one.
I woke up at 5 am every day to catch the bus to my school in another city.
I worked from 8 to 4.30
And got back home at 6.30 - Barely ate. Only to do it all over again the next day.
I was overworked and exhausted.
I looked like a ghost of myself, older and worn out.
But taking a step back? Seeking an alternative?
It never crossed my mind.
That’s not how we were raised anyway. We were taught to follow the family's blueprint, to take the "safe" path…
Get a job, start a family, raise kids—and whatever you do, don’t complain, or you’ll be seen as ungrateful.
Sounds familiar?
That's how a year of my life blurred by.
I put on a mask and pretended I was fine.
I was teaching in a rural area.
The children were poor, had access to drugs and many were older.
One day a student wouldn't stop talking during class.
I asked him to be quiet – He got up and punched me in the face.
Later on I was in the principal's office and I got told straight in the face…
“He's a teenager, the law can't do anything about it”. "You have to find a way to protect yourself" .
At 5'11 feet – I didn't know how.
I went home that day and I remember bursting into tears I couldn't even breathe.
Reality hit me…
All the signals were pointing to a dead end.
My body.
My mind
My energy
I chose not to listen – I kept pushing.
Lesson 2 :
Don’t wait until your mental health is in jeopardy to make a change. If a job, a relationship, or an environment is breaking you, seek a way out. No questions asked.
My parents asked me to be patient.
My grandparents suggested finding a different school.
Deep down I knew that wasn't the problem.
For the first time, I decided not to listen.
After years of taking advice, playing safe, and seeking validation.
This time I chose myself.
I quit but not permanently YET.
I took a sabbatical and stayed at home to mentally recover.
Suddenly there I was! Jobless. Heartbroken. And feeling utterly lost.
The plan I had wasn't working either.
I earned in low currency and converted the money to Euro – I was saving pennies.
Then one day as I was cleaning my closet I stumbled on an old journal. It felt like a sign from above.
With lots of free time on my hand - I fell back into writing and reading. It was raw, liberating—soul-shaking, even.
In those pages, I began to dig deep. I wrote about my wounds, my dreams, the things that truly lit me up.
And that’s when the truth emerged: I had been living someone else’s dreams.
I didn't want the PhD.
I didn't want the high status that comes with it.
I didn't want people's validation that I was smart.
I just wanted to feel worthy, to be seen and valued. I wanted a career that filled me with purpose, a reason to wake up excited each morning.
Though I was terrified to admit it, what I truly wanted was to write, to coach, to connect with people.
A small voice inside nudged me toward it, and this time, I listened.
Full of hope and fear of the unknown. I turned to Google with one question:
"How can I make money writing?
The answer came in - Blogging!
I stumbled upon a college student making four figures from her dorm room. Her story lit a fire in me—I thought I’d finally found my salvation.
10 days later! My blog was alive.
But coming from a different background. I had no idea;
How to pick a niche?
How to write to capture attention?
How to promote my blog?
Let alone how to make money from it.
What did I do?
I copied others. Not my proudest moment I know!
After four months and barely a hundred views. I hit a wall, burned out, and quit.
At this point, I changed schools and was back to teaching.
But with a newfound goal keeping me going.
That became my new escape plan.
My safety vest!
After my blog failed.
I tried affiliate marketing. It never felt authentic, it was so out of alignment with my energy – I didn't make a single dollar from it.
Next, I tried selling on eBay. Looking back, I have no idea what I was thinking! I had zero interest in it, but I was starting to get desperate for a quick win.
A full year in and nothing was working.
I started doubting myself, getting anxious that I am going to be stuck forever.
Looking back now - I can see that I :
was paralyzed by fear
had tons of limiting beliefs
didn't take any calculated risks
refused to invest in education
I was still playing safe.
The hardest part? I couldn’t face the real issue:
1 year in I was mentally exhausted.
Low self-esteem, drowning in procrastination. Copying others.
I was jumping from one shiny object into another, starting a project to quit it halfway and constantly overthinking and under-achieving.
I checked all the boxes for a crash.
I was truly lost with no clue how to find my way back.
Life around me intensified my emotions - I started losing it again.
My childhood friends were getting married – I didn't even want a relationship before building myself up.
Teenagers were making 6 figures online – I couldn’t even figure out how to make a BLOODY dollar.
Everyone around me was winning. – I didn't even know what I wanted.
I blamed myself; for wasting time, for being late, for not being enough for anyone or anything.
I sank deep into depression – I rejected therapy and refused to take medicine.
I barely got out of my house and started alarmingly losing weight.
My family couldn't reach me. Everyone was worried about me.
Hell, I was worried about myself because I started having suicidal thoughts.
I wondered if I would be missed if I were gone, or if the world would be better off without me.
I needed saving, desperately.
One evening – my brother and I went out to dinner.
I picked out the menu - unsure about my options.
When the waiter came to take the orders.
I looked out and asked my baby brother – What should I order?
“I am not sure about the steak or the chicken - what do you think I should choose?”
I said it and I almost tripped.
Then the waiter smiled. My brother answered. The world moved on but mine stood still.
I felt all the weight of my:
failures
decisions
life's choices
Heavy on my shoulders that day!
It was like I had reached the bottom of all my tolerance for mediocrity.
How did I stoop so low I had to ask someone else what food to eat?
It couldn't get any worse than that!
I remember going home that night…
I looked up at the sky with tears in my eyes and the biggest ache in my heart.
And I prayed. I asked for mercy. For guidance. For a radical change.
I didn't even know what I was praying for!
The next day, I was on Pinterest reading through motivational quotes.
Little did I know I'd find a gem that would change the trajectory of my life.
A quote from Dr Joe Dispensa:
“ The only way to change your life is to change your energy—to change the electromagnetic field you are constantly broadcasting”.
It was a divine synchronicity.
I felt this huge hole in my heart suddenly filling.
Two days later I bought the book - becoming supernatural.
My new gold mine!
I dived headfirst into the world of energy work, gratitude, visualization, and the power of surrender!
I threw myself into a ruthless self-growth journey.
In 56 days
I read 14 books
studied 50 case studies, and
attended 10 masterclasses.
I was obsessed and determined to rebuild myself.
I made a commitment to learn from the past.
This time - I'd lead myself first.
No more shallow content
No more pretending to know it all
I'd live by the teaching I was now learning.
Starting with the most profound journey of all—the inner work.
I made myself a case study and I got to work.
Visualizing, meditating, self-hypnosis, shifting my energy, journaling, and changing the stories I'd been telling myself.
I started listening to my intuition more, healing my relationship with the past, and digging deeper into my inner wiring.
Finding and uncovering parts of myself I never thought were there.
For the first time, I wasn't doing this for validation, nor to make the “ online money” —I was doing it for me.
I reconnected with my zone of genius and committed to linger there longer than a year.
I started writing again.
I began coaching people for free - the Aha moments I was having were bigger to keep to myself.
I started hosting local events and teaching people lifestyle design and how to rewire their minds for abundance and success.
2 women and a teenager showed up to my first event ever.
The one I spent two weeks and 100 hours preparing for. The one I poured my heart and soul into.
But I was unbothered.
Because I didn't do it for the money.
I did it to inspire people to change their lives the way my life was changing.
I finally found my “soul work”
7 months in?
The waiting season was over – I made my first dollar online.
Once I gave without expectations.
Once I leaned into my soul work
Once I stopped running after money so I could live the nomad lifestyle.
Abundance found me!
Not from chasing profit but by giving authentically, letting go, and trusting.
Read that again if you have to!
Lesson 3-
When you stop chasing and start aligning with your authentic self, the world meets you where you are.
I made my first dollar from a coaching program on IG – $2500 to be exact!
My clients were friends and acquaintances.
But it didn't matter.
It was mind-blowing! An experience I will remember till the day I die.
It wasn’t just the money, It was the proof I needed – it gave my brain the evidence that it was possible.
It can be done!
That was priceless!
The waiting season was finally over – I was ready to take on the world.
(Well, partly kidding!)
My plan of conquering (the) my world involved taking in two transformative challenges.
That would require a huge leap of faith.
One that would stretch me online, and one that would shake up my entire offline life.
Building my online presence
Moving out of my country
In September 2024 - I downloaded X ( formally Twitter)
And decided to revamp my four-year-old dead account ( the one from my blogging days)
First challenge?
Grow my coaching business on X.
Help my clients leverage their minds and energetic structures so they can be the best at what they do, break free from their inner barriers, and meet their highest selves halfway.
Also, connect with like-minded people who are dreaming of changing the world too
Second challenge?
I decided to quit my job for good.
After all the ups and downs, I decided it was finally time to move forward.
I am not going to lie – the day I handed in my resignation paper was the longest day of my life.
I slept 3 hours and was bombarded by nightmares. I threw up twice before getting to the principal office.
There was a small voice telling me – I wasn't ready, I don't have a steady business yet. I was risking too much.
The last attempt from my subconscious to keep me in my comfort zone – safe!
But my intuition was louder.
If I learned one lesson from this crazy journey thus far is that I would never ignore that inner voice again.
It was time to start a new chapter - That decision felt like the new energy I wanted to live by and put into my field.
I am still exploring my options though – but in January I will be leaving and starting life as a digital nomad.
It's scary. It's unknown but I am excited about it.
My new motto?
Either way, I am ready for the adventure!
This is my story: raw, unfiltered, and still unfolding.
The first purpose of sharing it is selfish - to release the weight of it from my heart cause it's burning.
The second purpose is to inspire whoever finds it to dream bigger, to listen to that voice calling to more.
Final lesson -
Life’s greatest transformations often come from the scariest leaps.
When I chose to live by faith in my potential – I found the strength to act despite fear, and I discovered parts of me I never knew existed.
My wish for you?
Wherever season you are in.
Let your journey be a testament that even when you’re scared or uncertain, you are enough to face whatever comes.
Because you are.
Thank you for reading!
And I'll see you around if you ever feel the pull to stick around.