Fart Beat Download ((FREE))

Hey all, I know this seems strange but hear me out. I was taking a poop about a month ago after having just eaten PF Chang's, and I noticed my farts seemed a bit more powerful and melodic than usual. So, I recorded the sound of my farts, and then I made a beat for one of the guys that I produced for. I really like it so far, but I think people may suspect that the sounds came from my rear. What should I do to distort the sounds while still making it sound decent?

The time to laugh is now. The time to enjoy the company of family and friends is now. And we all know fart jokes are universally funny (this NPR segment even proves it) so what better type of joke to tell over the holidays?

Fart Beat Download

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farting for 2mins 40 plus that must have been very satisfying to let out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder how smelly??

the longest I done lifting my bum to one side was 15secs and I found that enjoyable to let out

The fine sand and shallow waters that the area is known for used to be family friendly, but now the tents of apparently homeless people line the entrance to Waimanalo Beach Park, pushing residents farther away from the facility with its showers, bathrooms and picnic tables.

This reminds me of the time our unit, (2nd Recon. Bn.) spent 2 weekd in the Pisgah Nat. Forrest, living on C rats. When we returned, our TAC had an IG inspection. A Colonel had us all, (about 25 or 30 men), in a classroom. The C rats gave me gas, big time. I cut the loudest fart anyone had ever heard. The Colonel stood there with his mouth hanging open for a moment before ordering the windows to be opened. I never lived that down.

I would be totally offended if I had to hold a fart for the sake of not offending the people I am trying to defend. Since they are so offended maybe they should be left to defend their own a_ses. These people have such high standards, they should be capable of a highly disciplined military of their own. God knows they got plenty of people.

what the hell is going on, big deal, you fart when you feel like it, you stink for a little while and so what. As long as we are protecting these assholes we should fart when ever we want. What political asshole thought this up, give him the same food and see what he does with it. NUFF SAID!

Fine. Then the Marines should take their guns, their protection, sacrifice AND their farts back home. As a few people have already said, who cares what a bunch of people one notch above cavemen think? I hope a new CIA enhanced-interrogation technique includes pinning them down and farting on their heads.

in our research so we know who we are fighting, we found out the (pedophile psychotic crimelord who invented islam) mohammed banned farting at their prayers where they are groveling and their rear ends are all up in the air. and it is specifically in the koran it is against the koran to LAUGH if someone farts in that postion too. like adolph and obama, mohammed had a long list of what he wanted people to do, eat, and think.

This is insane! To heck with offending them, we should eat more fiber and fart until they keel over! Better yet lets pump bacon grease into their mosques, use their korans for toilet paper and force their women to wear speedos! At gunpoint if need be!

Okay you guys, listen up. There is this medicine called simethicone. Get your commanding officers to issue this for you. It stops farts before they start. I know, we are having financial troubles here in the U.S., but if we are to go there and not offend (UGH) we need simethicone for our boys.

Our military members now face prison if in the heat of battle they make a mistake. Now they face being court martial of they fart. The draft will eventually have to be reinstated because soon no one will volunteer.

i was once told by a old Marine it is better to fart and bear the same then not fart and beaar the pain. as for roeg what the hell are you some raghead or wellfair bitch that is what you sound like i am sure that you have never served your country

For arabs, belching after a meal is a compliment to the chef, and a fart is understood in all cultures, especially Afghan culture where it is regarded as a commentary on the ravishing beauty of the afghan women in burqas.

i was in from 1988 to 1995. i was in 3/8 Lima co. we had farting contest after mixing ramen noodles with good old MRE #5 spagetti with meat sauce. oorah! we loved the laughter and the fact that it made morale higher. As simple as that seems, the pansy ass leadership should stop taking a page out of the NY Times. Frickin cupcakes! You people owe me for one jelly doughnut!

I was in Mineral, VA on Tuesday and I farted and started the quake. So I apologize for offending everyone from Canada all the way down to Georgia and whoever else felt that because I dealt that. I cannot take responsibility for the afterfarts, sorry, I mean afterSHOCKS.

That sounds like one of those uptown problems, not a down range problem. They crap though a hole in the floor, then wipe with their hand and then care about breaking wind? If they want to live with the Taliban because of a fart then come on home boys!

Farting-hell I have won every farting contest that there ever was.I can and will fart on comand.Anytime any place I am called to fart I will. A crowded bus is a good place to start and blame it on someone else.This whole story smells to high heaven[no pun intended].

i am a muslim.i agree that this ban against farting is ridiculous.but please restrain from offending muslims.i repeat regardless of what you have witnessed or endured in afghansitan,homosexuality,disrespecting women,shitting in a corner are not allowed in islam.btw fart away:P

LOL, this is HYSTERICAL! I absolutely love it! Only we Marines need to be told to stop farting! Indeed, farting is part of the Marine Corps Olympics and there are numerous try out events through out the Marine Corps on all stations and ships at sea. Even this old broken down Marine gets a swagger in his step when he passes a little gas, gas, gas! Besides, all those Marine farts are considered fresh air in Washington, DC, especially in the White House and on Capitol Hill. Oorah and Semper fi my brothers.

As a protest and in solidarity to the Marines, is there a way that everyone can send a healthy fart to this 8th century caveman country? They really need to be offended, if this is all they have to worry about.

Be carefull you might shat on some poppi plants, or your fart could warn the civilians your about to murder them. Our military is just as treasonous as our president and you should all be investigated individually for following unlawfull orders.

I saw a can of Instant Fart the other day in a novelty store at the mall. I plan on buying 25 cans of it and sending to the Marines to FART all they want while protecting those weak Afghans who are so afraid of even a fart. No wonder they are not a free people.

Those people wipe their butts with their bare left hand and yet they find farting disgusting? It just proves they are out of their minds and barely worth the efforts and lives of our best and brightest.

? really? cannot fart downrange? It could be a security issue..sounds and smells.. but offensive in a culture that wipes their ass with the left hand? is offended by alcohol, but carries a RPG? thinks a cell fone is for setting off bombs but wants women to cover their faces and bodies? Just level the place and Pakistan with it..

Email vids or audio to fart-book@live.com if you want. The site is fart-book.com. I will get a section put together to honor all of the military who can be ordered to die and now ordered to be silent.

My good lord! As a British ex-SF soldier, The ragheads think farting, talking about women and drinking alcohol is offensive, and yet they will happily stone a woman to death in public!!! Double standards or what???

A girl is on a bus filled with lots of passengers. She's standing and there are two men standing in front of her too. She has long hair and a red and white jacket.

Her stomach starts making noises and she wants to fart but she tries to refrain. But since there's a classical music playing, she decided to fart following the beat of the music so that way it can be concealed.

But the twist is, she forgot she had earpods and the music is only playing in her ears, meaning the other passengers can hear her farting clearly.

They call out to her and she gets embarrassed upon realization.

Here are also some of the funny remarks from the passengers:

"You have no shame, why did you fart so much, Bang bang boom boom"

"Even the New Year's fireworks aren't as dangerous"

"Look at what you did to my homie behind you" The girl moves and we see a man who has fainted. "He was already anemic, I gifted some corns at the hospital and now they popped into popcorns".

"You can either do this while you fart, get into one of those positions and let it rip or do it inbetween to keep your pelvic floor nice and relaxed and to encourage that pelvic floor tightness," she added.

Suddenly, things become a little too alive and interior, and my girlfriend lets the biggest one rip ever. It is a fart so long and loud\u2014just like an extended trumpet solo from the Newport Jazz Festival.

There you have it. True confessions from the de-bloat meno yoga crew\u2014live and unfiltered\u2014but with a solution beyond twisting yourself into a pretzel and meditating your farts away. I went home and added it to my usual chocolate protein concoction, and I want to say, for once, that I was a person instead of a walking whoopie cushion. It was like: oh hey, my gut feels 34 again! How the hell did that happen??? Can it stay that way? 006ab0faaa