Avoiding Conflict

You can use verbal communication and body language to minimise the likelihood of conflict. Picking up on body language can give you a better indication of someone's state of anxiety or level of agitation.

Please be aware that due to PPE, such as visors and masks, being worn during Covid-19 this may inhibit communication when trying to communicate with someone who is becoming angry.

Verbal communication

There are two elements to verbal communication:

Verbal spoken

For example, you could try the following:

· Say something positive

· Change the subject

· Use humour (sparingly) to lighten the mood (be very careful with this!)

· Motivate the other person

· Empathise with the other person

· Give choices

· Set limits

Para-verbal

For example, consider the following

· Tone of voice

· Pitch

· Volume

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication includes facial expression, eye contact, proximity and body language such as gestures and posture.

Ways to improve your body language include:

· Keep your body relaxed and open

· Use open hand language

· Breathe deeply and calmly

· Respect personal space

· Be aware of your facial expressions

· Avoid making sudden movements

· Don’t stare

Non-matching behaviour is when your body language contradicts what you say. People pick up on this, even if we think we are not being obvious. You will find being genuine, open and honest reduces the probability of conflict.

Communication impact

Communication, as defined by the Mehrabian Model, is:

· 7% from the spoken word

· 38% from the tone of voice

· 55% from non-verbal/body language

In other words:

· What you say is less important than how you say it

· People believe what they see before they believe what they hear

· People are persuaded by attitude and appearance

Non-verbal communication is particularly important when dealing with emotional issues.

Communication Breakdown

Communication breakdown can occur for various reasons. Factors that contribute may include:

The language used (English not a first language, dialect/accent, complexity/jargon used)
The environment - noise levels (too loud or too quiet), temperature (too hot and people may feel sleepy)
Personal emotions - fear, anxiety, stress, anger, confusion
Alcohol or drugs - both prescriptive medication or illicit substances
Disabilities - hard of hearing, speech impediment
Cultural differences - cross-cultural communication is very often hampered by a lack of understanding between the participants and, even when both parties want the same outcome, these differences can lead to conflict. Be aware that what you say and how you say it can be misunderstood as can your body language
Stereotyping or preconceived ideas
Non-matching behaviour - conflict between what you say and how you say it
Educational background differences - differing education backgrounds may hinder the understanding of the listener and cause confusion or anger
Cognitive difficulties – dementia, learning disabilities
Mental health

The Attitude and Behavioural Cycle

The attitude and behavioural cycle establish a link between attitude and behaviour. Positive attitude creates a virtuous cycle of positive behaviour.

Examples

My Attitude

Health professional:

I'm really angry because I've been put on nights again.

My Behaviour

Health professional:

I’m ignoring this customer because it’s not their time yet and I don’t have to deal with them

Customer attitude

Patient:

No one wants to help me in this Airport. I don’t want to be here anymore; I just want to go see my family.

Customer behaviour

Patient:

I’m going to swear and be unpleasant to the next person who comes to help me as I have been ignored for the last 45 minutes.

De-escalation

De-escalation is described as:

The use of techniques (including verbal and non-verbal communication skills) aimed at defusing anger and averting aggression

The Basics

De-escalate yourself first - remember to breathe
Act calm - neutral facial expression, relaxed body, minimal gestures
Reassure yourself - positive self-talk and project success
Ask for help

Then:

Assess the individual’s emotional state
Identify trigger factors
Reassure them to try to reduce anxiety
Talk/listen
Problem solve, for example risk assess the situation, be aware of your environment or those who might present a threat
Keep a relaxed and alert posture

Personal Safety

Maintain an adequate distance between you and the other person
Allow space and time - back off if they advance towards you
Adopt a stance where hands are open and positioned above the waist as this facilitates the natural flinch response to protect oneself
Move towards a safe place
Ask for any weapon to be put down (not handed over)
If any object constituting a weapon is produced, staff should immediately evacuate the location

NEVER attempt to deal with an armed individual.

Language

The language you use can have a big impact on how the other person reacts. Avoid the following:

Ordering, e.g. you must...; you have to...
Threatening, e.g. if you don’t, then
Preaching, e.g. you should…
Lecturing, e.g. here’s why you are wrong…
Judging, e.g. you’ll never change
Excusing, e.g. it’s not so bad
Labelling, e.g. you’re being unrealistic

Lone Workers

People who work alone are at increased risk of physical/verbal abuse and harassment from patients, relatives or members of the public. Employers have a duty to protect them from risk of physical and verbal abuse by carrying out risk assessments and providing lone worker devices.

Employees should take practical steps to improve their personal safety by:

· Attending training

· Adhering to lone workers' policy and procedures

· Reporting near misses and incidents

Conflict Pyramid

We need to recognise when a situation is escalating so that we respond appropriately.

Conflict can be divided into three different levels. When dealing with each of these levels, it is important to use the right strategy. Dealing with a 'hiccup' in the same way as a crisis would not be productive. This would be like using a hammer to crack a nut

Hiccups

Hiccups are conflicts that are no more than a minor irritation, are inevitable and part of our daily lives. These are generally easier and quicker to deal with and sort out.

Clash

Clashes are conflicts that grow from minor irritations (hiccups) happen less regularly, but more difficult to sort out and take longer - a bit more lasting. If not managed correctly this stage of conflict can quickly escalate to a crisis. Therefore, in a clash you must call for help continually assessing the situation.

Crisis

A crisis can be very traumatic and, in some cases, dangerous. These are infrequent but more severe and more difficult to deal with (named third party intervention) this is when we see Violence and Aggression occur.

Conflict Models

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Some non-verbal and verbal warning and danger signs:

The face becomes flushed
Breathing becomes shallow
Sweating may be visible on the forehead
Gaze may increase in intensity
Tone in voice hardens and often becomes louder
Sometimes a distinct pulse is visible in the neck
Shoulders rise and arms extend away from the body
Fists clench and the forearms rise
Body weight shifts forward and is taken on toes

Let's take a look at three different models that may help when dealing with different levels of conflict.

LEAPS

The LEAPS model (George Thompson) has been designed to help you structure your communication into an easily remembered format. If used effectively, it can help to prevent communication breakdowns before they become a problem. It may be used during a 'hiccup'.

Listen to the other person, it shows you're interested and that you care
Empathise this will help diffuse the situation. Using phrases like 'I can see this has made you angry'
Ask question, this might help you discover facts
Paraphrase, this shows the person that you are listening and trying to understand their problem
Summarise, reach an agreement and a way forward

CUDSA

The CUDSA model may be used during 'clashes'.

Confront the conflict
Understand the other person's point of view
Define the problem
Search for a solution
Agree a solution applicable to both parties

PALMS

The PALMS model may be used during a 'crisis'.

· Position yourself - Where are you in relation to escape routes?

· Attitude - is your attitude non-inflammatory?

· Look and listen - are you aware of minor changes, could they be significant?

· Make space - have you thought about your personal space?

· Stance - is your stance non-inflammatory?

Risk Assessment

A risk assessment identifies the nature, severity, imminence, frequency, duration and likelihood of harm to self or others.

When in a conflict situation, use the SAFER approach to conducting a dynamic risk assessment.

S

Step back - physically and mentally.

A

Assess the threat (people, objects, places).

People - sex, age, size, skills, mental state, numbers present, physical or mental tiredness
Objects - alcohol, drugs, potential weapons, items of value, time of the day, animals
Places - excessive noise, safe exits, room layout, public or private premises, slip/trip hazards, imminent danger

F

Find help.

E

Evaluate your options.

R

Respond in an appropriate manner.

Personal Space

Personal space is culturally defined but is usually:

Intimate

Up to 0.5m
People we feel very close to

Personal

About 1.2m
Friends and associates

Social

About 2.4m
New acquaintances

Public

2.4m plus
Larger audiences

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