For Families

Whose Agenda?

by guest writer Amy Tanner

As a teacher, I always have to start with a plan. I write learning goals and design lessons for the purpose of meeting those goals. Sometimes lessons go beautifully off course, but because I have a big picture sense of what I want to accomplish, I (usually) feel like I know how to help the lesson wander off course in a meaningful and productive way.

But doing math with my kids is different. My kids didn’t enroll in a class with me in order to learn a particular thing. They have their own goals and agendas, and our interactions are much more meaningful when I let my child take the lead, even if the place we land is not what I envisioned at the outset.

This is exactly what happened a few evenings ago when my 2nd grader said, “Mama, do you want to see a trick I learned in math today?” I’m wary of tricks, as they are so often learned without meaning, but my son is a happy little memorizer who gets excited by math tricks, and loves to show them off to me.

This time it was a place value trick. He got out a piece of paper and wrote 25 – 20 = ___ , and then explained to me that instead of doing 25 – 20, he could do 2 – 2 = 0, and then 5 – 0 = 5. He then crossed out the 0 in front of the 5 and declared that the answer was 5.

As he talked, it was immediately clear to me that he had, indeed, learned this trick without meaning. He didn’t seem to have a sense of how place value played into it, why you could approach the problem one digit at a time, and I also immediately knew the limits of his procedure. So I set a mental agenda. I would do a few more problems with him, and then spring a new problem on him, one where the ones digit in the second number was larger than in the first number.

So we took turns giving each other problems to try out the trick, and then after a couple rounds I said, “Wait, what about this one?” and wrote:

82 56 = ___

“Okay,” he said. “8 minus 5 is 3” (he wrote down 3) and “2 minus 6 is …” He paused for a moment, and I waited hopefully for the moment of revelation, and then he wrote down “4” with great confidence.

I really wanted him to be a bit more flummoxed than that. I tried to press his thinking. “2 minus 6 is 4?”

“Yeah,” he said, and counted: “2 ... 3, 4, 5, 6” on his fingers to show me.

“If you have 2 things and take away 6 of them, you get 4?” my husband, who had been listening in, piped up.

“Um.” He crossed off the 4, but didn’t seem to know what we were expecting him to do or think.

And that was exactly the problem. He had left behind his own thinking and was now taking his cues from us.

“Okay,” I said, wondering if I should have tried easier numbers. “That’s a cool trick you learned, but it looks like maybe it doesn’t work if the ones are bigger in the second number. I wonder what we could do when that happens?” He didn’t seem particularly interested in pursuing that line of thought, and it seemed that our exploration might have come to a clunky end.

But then he said, “Wait. I wonder what you do if both numbers in the second number are bigger than the first number.” And he wrote: 34 – 89 = ___ , except that he accidentally wrote + instead of , so it read 34 + 89 = ___.

That wasn’t where I was planning to go, but what a great question! “Huh, that’s really interesting!” I said. “But did you mean to write plus instead of minus?” He didn’t, but instead of changing it back to a subtraction sign, seeing the more familiar addition sign seemed to give him some confidence, and he said excitedly, “I wonder if the same trick works for addition!”

“Why don’t you try?”

So he added 3 and 8 to get 11, then added 4 and 9 to get 13, and wrote down 34 + 89 = 1,113.

My agenda was completely toast by this point, but all sorts of interesting mathematical things were happening. “So what’s the answer? Does it look like it worked?” I asked.

“One hundred ... wait, one thousand one hundred thirteen?” He laughed. “Not at all!”

“So you said 3 + 8, but is that really a 3?”

“Yes. I mean no. It’s 30.”

“And the 8?”

“Is 80. Oh!” He started thinking out loud. “30 plus 80 is ... 80, 90, 100, 110. And 4 plus 9 is 13. And that has another ten. So 120. Plus 3. 123?”

“Does that sound right for 34 + 89?”

“Yes!” He wrote down his new answer.

And this is where it ended, but I thought a lot about the conversation afterward. On the one hand I was very aware that I hadn’t met my objective of helping my son make meaning of the subtraction method he had learned. But I didn’t feel like the conversation was a failure. That was my objective, not his. I wanted to extend his thinking to a wider range of subtraction problems, but the question that really sparked his interest was his own question of whether he could apply the same type of thinking to a challenging addition problem. In the course of our conversation, he posed a question, evaluated the reasonableness of his answer, rethought his method, and used a really nice, meaningful strategy to arrive at his final answer. I was someone to bounce ideas off of (and yes, I did give him a few nudges along the way), but he was the one doing the real mathematical work, and he came away excited, proud, and with a sense of ownership.

About Amy Tanner

Math was my least favorite subject as a child and teenager, and it wasn’t until college that I encountered math as a powerful, creative, and fascinating subject. That experience propelled me into my career as a math teacher and teacher educator, and 20 years later I work as a university professor in a math education department, where I get to help future elementary and secondary teachers find delight, curiosity, and creativity in mathematics, and then take that experience with them into their own classrooms.

I believe supporting teachers to create powerful mathematical learning experiences in the classroom goes hand in hand with supporting families to create fun, supportive, and caring mathematical interactions in the home. I have two children, one in second grade and one in kindergarten, and as mathematical thinkers they are as different as they come! I have loved interacting with them around numbers, shapes, and patterns, listening to how they think, and tapping into their natural curiosity and unique personalities.

About This Site

My name is Martha and I have worked for over twenty years as a mathematics educator. I've been a parent for twelve of those years. Just as the students I've worked with professionally weren't enthusiastic about doing homework with their parents, I have found that my own children strenuously resist working on mathematics with me in formal ways. They don't want my help with homework most of the time, and they really don't want me to introduce new strategies or ways of thinking about mathematical ideas either!

Instead, I've had a lot more success just gently weaving (OK, not always gently, as my kids will tell you!) mathematics into conversation when it arises. This site is meant to help other parents notice how math can be found everywhere and at any time. I also want to help parents and caregivers see how just a few questions here and there can start valuable mathematical conversations with their children.

Please send me your ideas and questions at everywheremath2020@gmail.com.