Losing Amba

India Times

Below are the last diary entries of the King of Shalwa after Amba was taken by Bhishma.

Entry 1:

It has been a few weeks since the capture of my love, Amba. I have taken the loss very hard. I feel betrayed and enraged that I lost Amba. I knew I would win the tournament, which would have allowed me to marry Amba, but Bhishma captured Amba and her sisters for his brother to marry. I knew there was no getting her back. The whole thing was suspicious. One day, Amba is telling me that she loves me and that we are secretly betrothed, then she almost smiled when Bhishma captured her. While being ushered away by Bhishma, Amba looked right at me and I swear I saw her smile. How could no one have stopped Bhishma? Was I the only one who saw what was happening? Why would she do this to me? I am so devastated. I hope this gets easier.

Entry 2:

As time goes on, anger is beginning to grow inside me. I cannot contain it. Amba betrayed me. She left me for another man, and another life. I thought she loved me. She definitely planned the whole thing. She must have just been looking for a way out of our relationship. She helped me to train so I would win the competition, so who's to say she did not plan her capture with Bhishma. Why would she do this to me? Did I hurt her? Did she just want to embarrass me?

Entry 3:

Amba's capture and the fear of her betrayal has caused me to lose my way. I am not proud of the man I am becoming, but I am doing what I need to fill the void that Amba left in my heart . I am finding comfort with all the women that I can get my hands on. The best way to hurt Amba would be to marry another. That is what I am going to do. I know if Amba heard of me marrying another, it would break her heart, and that is exactly what I want. I want Amba to feel the hurt and betrayal that I feel. Or would she feel hurt? Did she ever even love me? I still love her, but she has no idea what she has done to me.

Entry 4:

I did it. I married a beautiful princess. I will not ever love her like I loved Amba, but she will do.

Entry 5:

Amba came to my court today. I cannot believe she had the guts to set foot in my presence after what she did. The woman betrayed me. Below is an overview of what happened:

I was sitting on my throne when my guard approached me and said that I had a visitor. All of a sudden, Amba walks into my court. I was speechless. Her beauty was still intoxicating to me, but her deed was unforgivable.

I immediately said, "Woman, leave my court and never return."

Amba looked shocked by my words, and replied, "Oh my love! I have returned to you so we can be married at once. I talked to Bhishma and told him of my love for you and how it would be unfair for me to marry his brother."

How was Amba saying this? She left me. Angrily I replied, "I am married to a woman who is much more worthy than you. Leave my court and never return. If you return, I will sentence you to prison and death. Guards, remove this woman."

I could see the hurt on Amba's face as my guards escorted her out. At last, I was at peace with losing the competition. Amba finally felt my pain and embarrassment. Wait, she felt my pain. Was this proof that she did not set me up?

Entry 6:

I cannot get Amba's face out of my mind. The hurt that crossed her face when I told her I was married and to never return, it was real. I know it was. If it was real, then why would she set me up? I am beginning to question whether she set me up or not. I am going to search for her and bring her back to me. Her deed may be unforgivable, but I must know the truth.

Entry 7:

Where is Amba? I have had my people tear the city apart searching for Amba, but no one has seen her. I miss her.

Entry 8:

Oh my heart. I am so sad. I went for a walk down by the banks of the Yamuna, and on the banks in a pyre I saw the burnt remains of my true love Amba. All that was left of her was the pair of ruby earrings I gave her the day we were betrothed. How could she do this to me? She left me. This is all my fault. I sent her away and it broke her. She killed herself because of me. This will be my last entry. I too will enter the pyre and set myself ablaze. Maybe Amba and I can be together in the afterlife.

Author's Note: In the original story, Amba was the main character. I wanted to change the story and put it in the King of Shalwa's perspective so we could get some insight on the way he treated Amba. In the original story, Amba really is captured by Bhishma, and no, she did not plan it. In this story, she approached Bhishma and tells him that she is in love with another and secretly betrothed. She then goes to tell him that it would not be fair if she married his brother while longing for another. Bhishma then lets her go. When she gets to the King's palace he immediately rejects her and tells her to go. We did not know why he did this. It was suggested that it was simply because the king was immoral and cruel all along. Amba was outraged and she went into the city. She had nowhere to go. She was too prideful to go back to Bhishma and too embarrassed to go home, so she took refuge in a hermitage. Over time, Amba grew angry and began blaming all of this on Bhishma. She wished he would die. She began fasting and praying and eventually Shiva came and heard her prayers. Shiva then told her that she would kill Bhishma. Amba was confused because she was just a woman. Shiva told her that she would be reincarnated as a man, but not only a man, a fierce warrior. Amba then knew what she must do. She built a pyre, set it ablaze and got into it. The whole she was saying, "I do this for the destruction of Bhishma! To obtain a new body for the destruction of Bhishma do I enter this fire!" I wanted to put the story in the King of Shalwa's perspective so we could have an explanation for why he turned Amba. I decided to make this a diary entry, because we could really feel everything that was happening to the king. I decided to make this story like a Romeo and Juliet story, hinting how the King decides to enter the pyre as well. My banner photo is of the Yamuna river, which I thought was fitting because it talked about it in the story.

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